Does this annulment make sense?

[otm]

LeahInancsi:

Annie,

I appreciate and respect what you say, but until you’ve been the child of divorce, it’s difficult to understand how deeply and profoundly divorce and even more so, annulment, has on the children. Children are a BIG part of that marriage. They are the product of that marriage.

Regardless of the Church’s definition of annulment, it would have crushed me if my parents had been married in the Catholic church and then someone came along and said that it never happened.

You are correct, that often, divorce can have a profound effect on children. However, it would be wrong to assume that the profound effect would always be a bad one; at times the effect can be a very liberating one, especially where there is constant abuse. It depends on both the situation itself, and the children involved.

You may have come from a very stable family; someone coming from a family of alcoholism and codependency, or physical , emotional, or sexual abuse may find the divorce a chance for sanity and normal behavior.

 

[JMJ_Theresa]

otm:

No, there is no adultery, because the individuals involved have the right to rely on the decision of the Tribunal; that is why there are tribunals - so a binding decision can be made and relied upon. Further, the rest of the Church relies on it.

Thanks, I’ve wondered about this for a long time.

 

[otm]

Picomo, interestingly, it is possible that your letter was part of the evidence of the invalidity of the marriage.

I understand your mother’s difficulty; most people have a fairly simple understanding of the sacramental nature of the marriage, and do not really understand what the Church is saying by a decree of nulity. It sounds as if she is reacting as if the Church said that the marriage never happened, or that there were never any good points in the relationship. That is not what the Church says when it grants a decree of nullity.

Sadly, too, one party will seek an annulment, and the other party will either feel that somehow they can fight the issue, or that a fight will have any impact on the decision.

The decision is based on facts, and unless the one wanting to fight the annulment can show that the facts which support a decree of nullity don’t exist, or that there are different facts than the proponent gives evidence to, the decree is going to be granted; and the fact of children, or the fact of the number of years together, or the fact of a Church wedding are not dispositive. That, coupled with a fairly simple understanding of the Sacrament, leaves a lot of people in the lurch.

Not knowing on what basis the tribunal made it’s decision, it is hard to say much further, other than that it might help your mother if she understood the basis of the tribunal’s decision. And if she did not enter evidence (she presumeably was invited to), then it is a bit late to rehash the issue.

Encourage her to continue with the counseling. Hopefully she will find peace.

 

[babygirl6152]

But now your mother is free to start over- she can consider herself healed now and not a victim… hope she finds a great Catholic man now.

Although the tribunal is not infallible, Rome is, and Rome said the tribunal knows it’s business and that we can feel confident in decrees of invalidity, just as priests are not infallible but they loose and bind sins,…so trust in that!

my prayers are with you all