Does this make me . . . bad?

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Renarax

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Hi guys
So I have a problem according to my mom (I think I’m fine). So my whole family is Indian but I’ve been raised in Canada since I was like 3. It was the best time of my life. We lived in a majority indian community called brampton and I gladly partook in all aspects of indian culture.

But then, we moved to India when I was 10. And I had to leave everything I loved behind. It obviously took a while to adjust to the hideous living conditions. Contrary to what my parents thought, I never adjusted. And as every year passed I grew more resentful of the fact that we were living here than there.
I grew immensely patriotic of Canada in my time there. (I think one should spend some serious time away from home to know how special it is.) I looked down (and still do) at indians in western countries who celebrated indian festivals, danced on the streets to bollywood music and complained about how the white people were immoral and always having sex and how bland their food is and how Indian culture is so golden.

I never got it! Is money and the chance of a better life seriously the ONLY reason to migrate. I’d call that selfish (no offence intended at you) why not respect other people’s cultures while in their land? They would HATE if africans came to india and not afapt to the culture. (I know I know . . . Europeans didn’t adapt for natives, but that’s history)

Anyway, while in India I had a hard time. I failed in things, always remembered better times and overall was very depressed. I pushed myself away from anything indian . . . From movies to hobbies.
You could say that I first found Christianity to get away from hinduism. That’s sorted out now.

Now when I visit canada I tend to stay away from those indian social groups that my parents are supportive of. I also told my parents I won’t be there for any festivals.

I think basically when I encounter Indian culture in Canada it takes my back to those days of despair and failure. Mix that with anger for not respecting the country you’re in. If I do move to Canada I’ll adapt. I’ll make friends and I’m also planning on volunteering.

does my situation really make me a bad person? A “racist” as I’m called. I can’t be racist since I don’t judge people based on colour.
Oh yeah and please don’t say I should love my culture and heritage or anything. I don’t and never will. To be honest I already have a culture, and it’s canada’s and I can create a heritage. I just want to know whether my reasoning is flawed or not.
 
Lost_Sheep said:
You’ve done nothing wrong. 🙂
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Well thanks. I’ve been carrying that around feeling guilty.

But hey . . . Maybe it was through my distaste in all things indian that god thought it appropriate to introduce me to christianity 3 years ago.

And now 3 years later I am a changed man:D
 
Renarax said:
Well thanks. I’ve been carrying that around feeling guilty.

But hey . . . Maybe it was through my distaste in all things indian that god thought it appropriate to introduce me to christianity 3 years ago.

And now 3 years later I am a changed man:D
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Awesome!~
I agree with Lost Sheep,
be at peace.
Mary.
 
I think it’s hard to say that you’re a “bad” person for not liking a particular culture’s festivals (even if it is that of your ancestors). That’s more a matter of personal taste.

Where I would caution you, though, is where you say you “look down on” those Indians who do celebrate their Indian heritage. You can disagree with their choice without looking down on them. Looking down on others is seldom conducive to holiness. They have just as much a right to choose to retain those traditions as you do to avoid those traditions (provided none of them involve something inherently sinful, of course).
 
There’s nothing wrong, though, with avoiding certain parts of a culture that go against your morals.

I’m Canadian, and proud to be so. But I am not proud of my nation’s attitude toward abortion.

Case in point: We have three major political parties: The Conservatives (PM Stephen Harper has said he will not reopen the abortion debate); the Liberals (Leader Justin Trudeau says there’s no place in the party for pro-lifers); and the NDP (a plank in the party platform is unrestricted access). Also, Henry Morgnthaler, the doctor who brought government-paid abortions to Canada, received the Order of Canada.

You take the good, and promote it; you accept the bad, and try to change it.
 
🤷 It’s all perspective. My husband comes from a large, Eastern European immigrant family. Anything relating to the culture of his family annoys him. On the contrary, I love his heritage, and the festivals, and the food, etc.

Rather than looking down on people who celebrate their heritage, why not be grateful that you live in a place where people come from all different backgrounds and are able to share their traditions and culture with others? Greek festivals, African celebrations, Dia de los Muertos parties, etc make the culture of the US and Canada richer. They aren’t disrespectful at all. If you don’t like them, don’t go. Personally, I find I learn a lot about the world and myself when I partake in other cultures.
 
You’re a Catholic first, then everything else.

You seem to have a valid reason for having some resentment. I would recommend, though, that you seek help from a professional to talk about these things. You never want to carry such ill feelings for your entire life.
 
You sound exactly like my husband, except from a different country. He even refuses to speak their language even though it was his primary language for the first 18 years of his life. He no longer reads in the language either.

He has all but given up any holiday celebrations that are unique to his culture and religion and adopted my family’s (he is/was Coptic Orthodox so the leap wasn’t quite so great as going from a non-Christian religion).

There’s nothing wrong with leaving this behind, particularly if you have negative feelings toward it because of bad experiences. However, I would caution you to keep in mind that everything from our past shapes our future. You may not celebrate certain cultural traditions, but the manner in which you were raised will still impact who you are as an adult and how you raise your own family.

Essentially, you can run from your past but you can never hide from it.
 
It really is quite curious, many Americans are culture-starved. I know many in my family and myself seek to renew our cultural heritage every moment we can. That being said, there seems to be a radically different feeling with people who actually come from a strong cultural heritage.

There’s nothing wrong with not partaking in one’s culture-like another poster said-one is Catholic first.

There’s no need to look down on people who partake in their own culture, they’ve got their thing, you’ve got yours.
 
Hey thanks everyone. Really helped.
And yeah most of you said something about the looking down part. My bad:o

But i dont know. I like European/native/black/latinos. What’s so different? Maybe the reason I cringe when I see all that indian culture apart from the reason I explained is because I don’t want what I loved to change.

Like for example, my dad visited mississauga last year and had a really bad time there. He said it’s so much different than what we knew (ethnically). And the whole experience was bad.

See that’s the thing. Multiculturalism does this to communities. Ever been to London?
And the thing is that more keep coming!

Maybe that’s why I have this feeling. I mean if every city turns into brampton the only place left is up north
 
Renarax said:
Hi guys
So I have a problem according to my mom (I think I’m fine). So my whole family is Indian but I’ve been raised in Canada since I was like 3. It was the best time of my life. We lived in a majority indian community called brampton and I gladly partook in all aspects of indian culture.

But then, we moved to India when I was 10. And I had to leave everything I loved behind. It obviously took a while to adjust to the hideous living conditions. Contrary to what my parents thought, I never adjusted. And as every year passed I grew more resentful of the fact that we were living here than there.
I grew immensely patriotic of Canada in my time there. (I think one should spend some serious time away from home to know how special it is.) I looked down (and still do) at indians in western countries who celebrated indian festivals, danced on the streets to bollywood music and complained about how the white people were immoral and always having sex and how bland their food is and how Indian culture is so golden.

I never got it! Is money and the chance of a better life seriously the ONLY reason to migrate. I’d call that selfish (no offence intended at you) why not respect other people’s cultures while in their land? They would HATE if africans came to india and not afapt to the culture. (I know I know . . . Europeans didn’t adapt for natives, but that’s history)

Anyway, while in India I had a hard time. I failed in things, always remembered better times and overall was very depressed. I pushed myself away from anything indian . . . From movies to hobbies.
You could say that I first found Christianity to get away from hinduism. That’s sorted out now.

Now when I visit canada I tend to stay away from those indian social groups that my parents are supportive of. I also told my parents I won’t be there for any festivals.

I think basically when I encounter Indian culture in Canada it takes my back to those days of despair and failure. Mix that with anger for not respecting the country you’re in. If I do move to Canada I’ll adapt. I’ll make friends and I’m also planning on volunteering.

does my situation really make me a bad person? A “racist” as I’m called. I can’t be racist since I don’t judge people based on colour.
Oh yeah and please don’t say I should love my culture and heritage or anything. I don’t and never will. To be honest I already have a culture, and it’s canada’s and I can create a heritage. I just want to know whether my reasoning is flawed or not.
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Sounds like culture shock to be honest and you resent being forced to leave “home” for another place even if your family treats it as “home”.
 
[BIBLEDRB][/BIBLEDRB]
BlueEyedLady said:
🤷 It’s all perspective. My husband comes from a large, Eastern European immigrant family. Anything relating to the culture of his family annoys him. On the contrary, I love his heritage, and the festivals, and the food, etc.

Rather than looking down on people who celebrate their heritage, why not be grateful that you live in a place where people come from all different backgrounds and are able to share their traditions and culture with others? Greek festivals, African celebrations, Dia de los Muertos parties, etc make the culture of the US and Canada richer. They aren’t disrespectful at all. If you don’t like them, don’t go. Personally, I find I learn a lot about the world and myself when I partake in other cultures.
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Well that’s true. But a one day cultural carnival is not the same as having to see it everyday.
like if you live in a strongly catholic country-say italy and an animalist Australian native shows up. The cultural exchange is fun for a week or so -maybe a Month. But eventually you’re gonna start getting pissed.
After all there’s a reason you want to live in your country, not that mans
 
You are entitled to your feelings and your opinion of things. Just be respectful of others and you will be OK. You need to live your own life and as you get older you may have a different perspective concerning your ethnic culture. Things that bother you now may actually bring a smile to your face later in life. I am Greek-American and I didn’t love the movie " My Big Fat Greek Wedding" when I first saw it. But now I can watch it, laugh and enjoy it and appreciate it for what it is and what it represents. You may get there too.
 
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