Does your church have a nursery or cry room?

[MSSheBear]

Okay, our church has no cry room or nursery. The babies and toddlers attend Mass with everyone else. This is the priest’s idea. There is usually one or two unhappy toddlers per Mass that a parent takes out into the vestibule. I find the most disruptive people are adults including the ones who let their cell phones ring at full blast or chat with their pew mates during Mass. I could go on about some of the adults.

I kind of like attending Daily Mass in the chapel.

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

For those who have been parishes with and without, which do you prefer?

My son was a very wiggly toddler. We used the cry room some but found it was more like a play room. He did better in the front pews - wiggly still but not wild.

I like the idea of broadcasting the service to the narthex or an outdoor space. Has anyone used that? How does it work out in real life?

I wouldn’t mind so much wiggly but generally quiet toddlers…what we get are some screaming ones. I see some large family’s sit closer to the front with small, generally well behaved kids…and then there are those who let their kids blather on…,run…and even scream…although if the kid keeps screaming, Father is liable to say something…

God Bless those parents who take them out. We do have a cry room…generally either unused or the parents treat it more like a play room. We also have a video feed to the narthex …which I hope is helpful to those parents who are kind enough to take disruptive kids out.

When I was a kid (a long time ago), our pew was third from the front…if you misbehaved…it was out to the outside…,no witnesses. And generally you also did not get up for the bathroom…cause you had better have gone beforehand…,just like a road trip…

 

[babochka]

My parish does have a cry room, but it is seldom used. The building was originally a Serbian Orthodox Church, then a Korean Presbyterian Church, now a Byzantine Catholic Church. The cry room is a converted storage room. A window and speakers have been added. We have 5 families in our parish with young children. Each family has 5 or 6 children under 10 years of age. Thankfully, we are all in agreement that the cry room is a place to calm fussy babies and toddlers, not a play room. Toys are rare and food is non-existent. We have a rocking chair and some kid-sized chairs. Most parents with fussy little ones just walk around in the back of the church, but if we need to leave, our stay is usually pretty short. Last week, I ended up spending the whole time in there because my toddler unexpectedly fell asleep and I didn’t want to disturb him. Each family goes through phases when we use it more than others. Just depends on the development of the toddlers.

 

[Faithdancer]

When I was a kid (a long time ago), our pew was third from the front…if you misbehaved…it was out to the outside…,no witnesses. And generally you also did not get up for the bathroom…cause you had better have gone beforehand…,just like a road trip…

Yes, when I was a kid I was guaranteed a spanking, later, if I acted up in church, or any other public place. Now that’s considered child abuse.

As a public school educator who has worked with thousands of young people I can really tell the difference between those children who have permissive parents, and those who don’t. Teachers are better trained than ever before, but are now expected to be surrogate parents and teach kids the proper behavior that they *should *be learning at home. I’m not saying that corporal punishment is a solution for all children- it’s not. But whatever the parents of the kids who are attentive, respectful, and self-monitoring are doing, it’s the right thing.

 

[CB_Catholic]

No cry room. The new church was built in the 90’s, but the previous building did not have one either.

I do not like cry rooms. I’ve sat with the grandchildren in them in my daughter’s parishes and they were noisy and disruptive places where you couldn’t hear a thing. I agree with my old Pastor who believed children learn to behave in church by being in church. Crying babies don’t really bother me, and usually the toddlers are well behaved. If not, the parents take them to the gathering space for a few moments.

When my daughter was an infant we belonged to a Dominican parish. One Sunday she started to cry lustily, and as I was getting up to take her out, the old Dominican priest stopped the sermon and said “God bless those parents who bother to dress up their babies and bring them to church!” I have never forgotten that kind statement.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

Interesting views about childhood behavior way back when. . my parents had a carrot and stick approach also.

My son was wiggly in a “bang the hymnals on the pews” way, but being close to the action did help. The cry room was full of pew bangers so not a good place for him to be!

 

[Giggly_Giraffe]

We have a large and rather luxurious cry room on one side of the church facing the sanctuary. It can hold about thirty people and has nearby restrooms and changing stations. The problems we encounter are:

1. Many parents simply won’t get up and take their screaming toddler in the cry room, and often permit their kids to roam and run around the church during Mass.
2. Parents already in the cry room allow their kids to run and play. Sometimes they even bang against the glass.
3. Parents who wish to quiet their crying children are forced to go into the vestibule because the cry room is too disruptive.
4. People who come late to Mass slip in the cry room from the side entrance.
5. Signs are posted and the topic is regularly discussed in the bulletin and announcements, to no avail.

The dictatorship of these hard rules suggests there is very little communication among the parish office and layity.

1. Why isn’t this “luxurious” room not used? Is it too hot? Is the sound system poor? Is the room closed off; blocks Jesus from being present during Mass?
2. How can YOU help parents with children who bang against glass? (it’s nit uncommon at all)
3. Why are parents with crying children rejected from cry room? Who’s the bouncer?
4. People without children also show up late and sneak in. Why are parents singled out?
5. Ha-ha you think parents of young children have the energy to read a bulletin ---- ha-ha-haaaaaaaaa. That’s good.

Now, here is a solution that may help. Contact your local parish Boyscouts & American Girls (Girl Scouts) and have them mentor young children in the cry room. When the young adults lead the young children, it sets a tone for the cry room. It helps the young adult lead, and gives guidance for the young. Even if there is two or three leading in the cry room, others follow from positive peer presure.

 

[garn9173]

My Parish offers a nursery and I have no clue how many use it.

 

[Matthew_Holford]

Our Church has neither. I know the age of the church may make it difficult to provide these facilities. It should, however, not make it impossible.

Personally, I’m not sure I would want to see these facilities. Didn’t our Lord tell us to suffer the little children. I don’t get annoyed when a baby or child is crying in church. I get annoyed at those who get annoyed by this.

 

[MessyMom]

We have a cry room with a complete glass front so the everyone inside can still see the Mass. Our parish was built inthe 50’s, but I think the cry room was added in the early 90’s. even though I am a convert, my friend attended the parish I now go to and I remember her mom being really excited when it was finished!

 

[Cat]

For those who have been parishes with and without, which do you prefer?

My son was a very wiggly toddler. We used the cry room some but found it was more like a play room. He did better in the front pews - wiggly still but not wild.

I like the idea of broadcasting the service to the narthex or an outdoor space. Has anyone used that? How does it work out in real life?

Yes, our Masses are broadcast into the cry room, which is in a side room in the narthex. I think it works really well and allow parents to be present in the Mass without having to wrestle with their little ones throughout the liturgy.

Parents let their little ones crawl around in the cry room, but that’s what little ones do, right? Why do people think it’s “sweet” or “perfectly acceptable” for little ones to yell and sob during a Mass, but not crawl around during a Mass?! Those are both typical behaviors of normal infants and toddlers.

Yes, there are some infants and toddlers who are perfectly happy to lie placidly in a parent’s arms and can therefore remain in the nave, but many kidlets–and my older daughter was like this—are active/wild/manic.

We were Protestant when our daughter were babies/toddlers, and they went to the church nursery from the time they were one week old. I usually played piano in the church service, and my husband was often busy with some responsibility in the church, so we couldn’t have the girls with us during the service. But very very few people allowed their little ones under age five to sit in the worship service. It simply isn’t designed for little ones, and since the main point of the worship service is to listen to the message (sermon), it would make no sense to attend if you have to spend the entire time tending your children. May as well stay home.

 

[KellyPalmer]

Our church was originally built in the 50s but the building we currently have Mass in was built in the 80s. We have no cry room. We do have a nursery so I voted as such but I hesitated b/c I can’t leave my child there and never have. I’ve really never been able to use it in the 7 years we have been registered there with children due to various rules and there was a period where there wasn’t a nursery at all. You used to have to get there really early to get a spot, b/c it would fill up fast and my child wouldn’t make it through Mass in the nursery if we got there that early. Now I can only use it if I join the coop and work in the nursery at least 1 Sunday a month. Before I am allowed to use the nursery, I would have to take a 3 hour training class at another parish on a designated day and I haven’t been able to work that out yet due to childcare issues and my husband being in the military. You can only use the nursery up to age 3 and my youngest is 3 now so I guess I don’t see much of a point in trying.