Does your family sing? Is there hope for the tone deaf?

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I grew up in a family that sang. I don’t know how I learned to sing, I just always remember being able to sing.

I feel sorry for those who can’t sing. My husband can’t sing. His immediate family can’t sing. Some of our children can and some can’t.

I tried to sing Christmas carols with my children recently and those that can’t sing just carryied the same note throughout the songs.

Is there a way to teach people who can’t sing how to sing?
 
Don’t know. I’m not sure how much tone-deafness can be trained out. My mom and her entire family are tone deaf. My father has good pitch and a lovely bass voice, as does his oldest brother (who has sung in choirs for as long as I can remember), and apparently my paternal grandmother sang often. To my great joy I take after Dad in having near-perfect pitch and a decent singing voice. I’ve always loved to sing and my mom always encouraged it even if she didn’t usually sing along. 🙂
 
Are your children in school yet?

When I was in school, everyone had to take choir in 1st-5th grade. I watched some of our old show videos once, and we weren’t bad…so I think it can be done!
The_Wife said:
I grew up in a family that sang. I don’t know how I learned to sing, I just always remember being able to sing.

I feel sorry for those who can’t sing. My husband can’t sing. His immediate family can’t sing. Some of our children can and some can’t.

I tried to sing Christmas carols with my children recently and those that can’t sing just carryied the same note throughout the songs.

Is there a way to teach people who can’t sing how to sing?
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ack said:
Are your children in school yet?

When I was in school, everyone had to take choir in 1st-5th grade. I watched some of our old show videos once, and we weren’t bad…so I think it can be done!
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Some of the bad singers in our family won’t sing loudly so they wouldn’t make a children’s school choir sound bad. One graduated high school already and despite “singing” for years in school and a couple more of playing an instrument, he still can’t sing well. I have younger children. I don’t count on standard music lessons in a group to teach them to sing. Maybe that requires some ability to start with because my husband, his family and some of our children didn’t seem to pick up singing well simply by singing. I’m wondering if there’s something that can be done to help the poorer singers in my family, maybe one-on-one? And do I point out that they are bad singers that need help? Do I let it go? Maybe it doesn’t bother some bad singers, but I find joy in singing well and hoped my children would be able to learn how to sing.
 
I am a singer myself and was blessed with a good ear (I’m also an aspiring linguist, so go figure). I definitely nurture my talent and find a lot of joy in singing.

I’d say let it go when it comes to people who can’t sing and encourage them in areas they are naturally good in. Otherwise, they’ll get frustrated at trying and trying at something they just aren’t good in. While I did take voice lessons and was in choir for years, I had ability to start with, as I could at least carry a tune. The formal stuff just came after I realized it was a talent and passion that I possessed.
 
I am a music teacher.

You would have to know if your children can or cannot move the pitch of their voice up or down which is what we call monotone. Or if they can but cannot match pitch correctly. This is mainly due to poor listening skills or lack of singing practice . A good music teacher whether in school or in church choir could teach them to listen well to match pitch and to develop the singing instrument which is their own body.

Now, the main difference between people who can sing and people who apparently cannot sing is that people who can sing have a natural “born” ability to use their singing instrument properly plus a rich singing voice. But, people with no “born” ability to sing can develop their instrument and sing as well as “born” singers.

Please note that I said “as well”. Music is a gift as many others such as math as science. We can all do some math well enough but not everybody has the gift of math to the point to be a scientist. The same way, most people can learn how to sing well enough and enjoy doing it even professionally although not everybody has a beautiful natural singing voice that we can call a true gift.

To summarize, if they enjoy it, get them trained. If they don’t enjoy it, don’t push it.
 
Friend_forever said:
I am a music teacher.

You would have to know if your children can or cannot move the pitch of their voice up or down which is what we call monotone. Or if they can but cannot match pitch correctly. This is mainly due to poor listening skills or lack of singing practice . A good music teacher whether in school or in church choir could teach them to listen well to match pitch and to develop the singing instrument which is their own body.

Now, the main difference between people who can sing and people who apparently cannot sing is that people who can sing have a natural “born” ability to use their singing instrument properly plus a rich singing voice. But, people with no “born” ability to sing can develop their instrument and sing as well as “born” singers.

Please note that I said “as well”. Music is a gift as many others such as math as science. We can all do some math well enough but not everybody has the gift of math to the point to be a scientist. The same way, most people can learn how to sing well enough and enjoy doing it even professionally although not everybody has a beautiful natural singing voice that we can call a true gift.

To summarize, if they enjoy it, get them trained. If they don’t enjoy it, don’t push it.
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As a former music teacher… what this poster said!! Singing can be taught, but don’t force it on someone who doesn’t want to. My oldest son has always had trouble matching high tones, at age 11 he’s JUST figured it out. I never pushed him. We sing goofy songs at home, listen to music and so forth, but I never pushed or complained or anything. I do worry that his voice will change in the next year or so and he may “loose” the ability he has gained. However, he plays the clarinet and LOVES it. He just doesn’t love singing. at .all.
 
“The woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best.” – Henry Van ****
 
There’s no hope for the truly tone deaf. But they can’t hear music at all; it’s just noise to them. So if your family can hear music, then there’s hope.

My DH thought he was tone deaf - but he loves Celtic music, and Mozart, and “Die Fledermaus,” so he’s not! He’d have a lovely bass voice if he wanted to work at it.

For those who want to sing better, there’s an old trick. The usual reason for bad singing is that you can’t hear yourself, in relation to the music. It’s a learned skill. Plug one ear, and then you can hear both your own voice, and the music around you. Practice while listening to the radio or a favorite recording. That’s how you “tune” your voice!

To God be the glory,

Ruthie
 
My father has a wonderful ear for music. Can tell when someone is in the wrong key. Can pick out the smallest mistakes while someone is playing the piano. He really loves music, esp. classical, but he can’t carry a tune in a bag!! Really, really bad :ouch:
 
This is a very good question, and something I’ve wondered about myself.

My dad has perfect pitch. When he was in high school band, they used to have him check to make sure their tuning thing (not sure the technical name) was on-key. Yeah, his ear was better than the device they used to tune their instruments.

My mom cannot carry a tune in a bucket. Dad teases her about it.

My sister has a beautiful singing voice and a great ear–she hears something once and can sing it perfectly.

I have a decent voice but I can’t carry a tune to save my life. I’m also bad at recognizing tunes.

My boyfriend has an amazing voice and does everything by ear–he can’t read music. His whole family is very musical; one of his brothers is good enough that he could probably be a professional musician. (This brother is currently 14, so he has some time to decide on his life path.)

I’ve commented jokingly before that we might end up with half our kids really good singers and half tone-deaf. Boyfriend says that I could probably learn to sing at least moderately well if I tried. Given the opinions of the actual music teachers here, he might be right. 🙂 We’ll have to see.
 
We sang as kids, and my kids sang and sing. Besides being good for math, singing is a great way to teach a whole other ranges of subjects, from spelling to history.

As others have said, it’s a matter of practice, and listening. I was the worst singer in the family, but now, I can carry a tune. Only took 52 years.:whistle:
 
No. Some of us could not carry a tune in a bucket if you picked it up and hauled it for us. But that does not mean we don’t get enjoyment out of singing. The only time we don’t is when someone makes us feel badly that we don’t sing well – and here we though everyone was just singing because it was fun!
 
Singing is a funny business because most people would not expect to sit down at a piano or with another instrument and magically produce great sounds from it, but with their voice they seem to expect the good sounds with little to no effort.

No one is born knowing how to produce specific tones with their vocal cords and then string them together to make music. Some people are blessed to be able to learn many of the skills required for basic singing on their own while others need a lot of help and many, many hours of practice to make a pleasing sound. (I was one of those who had to work at it for many years to get beyond the basics of merely carrying a tune.)

There are some basic things that can be learned using a cd and book if someone does not have the money or access to a voice teacher. I tell people to check on Amazon. One little cd/book set I believe is called Lead Singer and it has basic music reading, pitch control and breathing with the lessons in the book and on the cd. At less than $15 it would be a good gift for a kid who wants to sing along at home or from the pews without having to attend formal voice lessons.
 
Ruthie said:
For those who want to sing better, there’s an old trick. The usual reason for bad singing is that you can’t hear yourself, in relation to the music. It’s a learned skill.** Plug one ear, and then you can hear both your own voice, and the music around you.** Practice while listening to the radio or a favorite recording. That’s how you “tune” your voice!
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Thank you for that great tip!

You reminded me that when learning to sing more complicated songs or harmony in choir we’d cup our hands from around the mouth to ear, bending the ear slightly to better hear our own voices. I had my children try both the plugged ear and the cupped hand. Both those tricks improved their voices dramatically! Not pitch perfect, but much closer to the music! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
 
I sang professionally for 30 years and just recently gave up my memberships in two performance unions. I travelled the U.S., Canada and Europe nearly 300 days a year as a vocalist.

My bass player also doubled as a bass player in the Tulsa Symphony. At the time he had a drug habit and one night he sat down to play an evening of classical music - his job was as a bowing bassist (with the bow on the strings). He was so high that he couldn’t play. That particular night he elevated his bow over top of the strings and feigned participation in the orchestral pieces. Of course, no one knew (there were several other bassists playing at the same time). But I learned a lesson from him that night: when unable to do group parts in a very large group, fake it.

This didn’t serve me well when soloing or when in a small vocal group, but in a very large and boistrous group it does the trick. Otherwise, blow the top off and sing as best you can with abandon. It’s a holiday, for heaven’s sake.

marietta
 
Friend_forever said:
I am a music teacher.

You would have to know if your children can or cannot move the pitch of their voice up or down which is what we call monotone. Or if they can but cannot match pitch correctly. This is mainly due to poor listening skills or lack of singing practice . A good music teacher whether in school or in church choir could teach them to listen well to match pitch and to develop the singing instrument which is their own body.

Now, the main difference between people who can sing and people who apparently cannot sing is that people who can sing have a natural “born” ability to use their singing instrument properly plus a rich singing voice. But, people with no “born” ability to sing can develop their instrument and sing as well as “born” singers.

Please note that I said “as well”. Music is a gift as many others such as math as science. We can all do some math well enough but not everybody has the gift of math to the point to be a scientist. The same way, most people can learn how to sing well enough and enjoy doing it even professionally although not everybody has a beautiful natural singing voice that we can call a true gift.

To summarize, if they enjoy it, get them trained. If they don’t enjoy it, don’t push it.
Click to expand...
I would like to add my ‘third’ to the point made by these music teachers! Although not a music teacher myself, I am a trained singer.

My favourite story about improving your ear is that while I was still at school there was a girl who had difficulty telling whether she was singing a note which was too high or too low when asked to match a note on the piano. She really wanted to learn and after a year of singing lessons was able to join the school chamber choir of just 24 singers!
 
Tinajo said:
I would like to add my ‘third’ to the point made by these music teachers! Although not a music teacher myself, I am a trained singer.
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Thank you to the music teachers and experienced singers who shared their stories and offer some hope for those with undeveloped singing voices. I have hope that my children can learn to sing if they want to.

I discovered from you and from listening to my children that they aren’t truly tone deaf. They have simply not developed their singing voices or their ears. We’re working on it now so they can sing with a group they’re part of who will go Christmas caroling at a nursing home later this month. We were practicing for that service project and that’s the reasons why I decided to ask this question here.
 
I have another question for the music teachers out there. **What’s a reasonable number of familiar Christmas songs that children, (who aren’t naturally inclined to singing well) might work on learning in a couple of weeks? **They’re just kids and people aren’t expecting greatness, but it would be nice if they at least weren’t terrible when they sing with a group at a nursing home later this month. The leader of the group handed out a booklet with about a dozen familiar Christmas songs that she wants the children to know. I’m thinking that rather than my children singing a dozen songs badly, it might be best if they worked on learning just a few and they can sing the others softer, (as they usually do.)
“The woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best.” – Henry Van ****
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I don’t want to silence bad singers. I want to turn them into better singers.
 
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