Does your parish enjoy opportunities for good fellowship after Sunday Mass?

[babochka]

Overall, I’m rather impressed with the poll results. Approximately 75% of respondents have decent opportunities after Mass for organized fellowship.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

It’s both.

That’s your opinion of it. I think it can serve different needs for different people, and pushing your viewpoint of it onto others doesn’t bring them around to your view. It’s fine to offer opportunities for socializing, but statements like yours, I don’t find productive.

 

[babochka]

This is a good thing to do, but in my parish, the people tend to group themselves with people that they are comfortable with already.

One of the best examples of “greeters” in church I saw in a local protestant church that I went to one sunday for some reason, and there were four young adult men in suits with Bibles who welcomed me at the door. But, having said that and introduced myself, one of the guys switched to talking about computers. I did not stay for the FULL free meal that was being prepared in the basement of the church. The “service” by the way consisted of a movie, because the pastor had been away at the state capital for lobbying for something or other. But, they were friendly to me when I walked in.

Typically, in any local Catholic church, the greeter is handing out song books or printed song sheets, and says nothing.

I’m uncomfortable with greeters at the door, but less so if they are just handing out materials. A brief “hello” is fine, but I’d prefer they not try to engage me in conversation as I’m entering a new church. I prefer to get my bearings on my own in a new place on my own before having to engage with strangers. It’s and introvert thing. I once read an article (from a Protestant prospective) that mentioned “parking lot greeters” as an essential element to a church’s ministry. Please, no! I can’t even get out of my car and into the building before being “greeted”? I would never return to such a place. It reminds me a bit of being in a used car lot. When entering the church, I just want to get my bearings and be in a prayerful frame of mind. I’d prefer not to engage in conversation with anyone.

Having a special greeting ministry has always seemed artificial to me. I don’t have the same reaction to friendly people in the church who aren’t wearing a blazer and a nametag, designating them as “official greeters”. It is nice when they take a moment to say “hello”.

What does make a difference to me is a genuine sense of friendliess and caring, which has never come across in a “greeting ministry”, whether Catholic or Protestant. Many years ago, I had a Protestant boyfriend who was church shopping and I accompanied him to a particular church for a visit. After the service, the pastor and his wife came up and greeted us and visited with us for a while. We had a great conversation. We came back the next week, and they rememberd us - not just that we’d come to visit, but they remembered our conversation and much about us. They had an interest in us as people, not just “potential members”. (They remain friends of mine to this day.) In just 2 weeks, we felt like we had made real connections. My boyfriend attended that church for about a year after that and, though I never attended another Sunday service, I was always welcomed and known. By way of contrast, at this same period in my life I was teaching CCD at a local Catholic parish. I’d been attending this parish for 4 years and teaching for 2 of them. I’d been greeted by the pastor every Sunday on my way out the door and he’d come to visit by class during his annual visits. Around this same time, I came to realize that the pastor of the Catholic parish had absolutely no idea who I was, even though he had extended his greeting every Sunday for 4 years. This experience really affected me. Shortly thereafter, I decided to make the drive to the Ruthenian Church of my childhood for a visit. The sense of community and friendship is stronger there, but still nothing like I experienced in that little Wesleyan church that I visited with my boyfriend.

In my parish, we’re all greeters. The parish is so small that we always notice visitors and somebody will lend them a helping hand to understand the liturgy if they seem a bit lost. During the announcements, our priest makes a point to thank them for visiting and invites them downstairs for lunch and after the liturgy somebody always talks to them. Sometimes I think we come on too strong, but it is certainly better than ignoring our visitors.

 

[mary_bobo]

Refreshments are served after every Mass, and once a month there is a Sunday jazz brunch in the spacious and beautiful church hall.

I also love the fact that breakfast and lunch are served every day for a very nominal cost (great way for lonely folks to spend some time with other people) and there is a parish supper every Wednesday. No complaints in the parish fellowship department at our parish!

Sounds like true southern hospitality.

 

[Solomonson]

That’s your opinion of it. I think it can serve different needs for different people, and pushing your viewpoint of it onto others doesn’t bring them around to your view. It’s fine to offer opportunities for socializing, but statements like yours, I don’t find productive.

Actually, no, that’s not true. Some like to set-up silly zero-sum games that really don’t existing. The Church isn’t one or the other – it’s both and more.

I find your comments to be offensive.

 

[Phemie]

Here is what I actually posted (emphasis added):

That includes priests. Even when there was an abundance of priests in decades past, the Church often operated parish churches that offered several Masses each Sunday. That’s not healthy.

Again, I suspect that’s been the case because Catholics as a whole do not give as their Protestant brethren do.

Up until a few years ago my parish had a retired senior priest in residence. During his tenure as pastor, he turned down a lot of offers of free land in which to build new parishes. His attitude until he passed was to simply add more Masses to the schedule.

Today that land would be a godsend, but it has all been developed. I’m not sure what caused the mindset exhibited by that senior priest, but it didn’t appear to be healthy.

Perhaps it’s different where you live but from everything I’ve seen in my work around the local parish for the past 20 years I doubt it’s the priest’s decision to acquire land to “build new parishes”. The bishop would be the one who, in consultation with his council, would decide whether a new parish needs to be erected or not. And the bishop would know the situation from the annual report the pastor sends him.

Priests don’t have free hand in how and how much they spend of the parish’s money. Our pastor has to have the diocese’s permission to spend more than 10K on anything.

 

[Solomonson]

Perhaps it’s different where you live but from everything I’ve seen in my work around the local parish for the past 20 years I doubt it’s the priest’s decision to acquire land to “build new parishes”. The bishop would be the one who, in consultation with his council, would decide whether a new parish needs to be erected or not. And the bishop would know the situation from the annual report the pastor sends him.

Priests don’t have free hand in how and how much they spend of the parish’s money. Our pastor has to have the diocese’s permission to spend more than 10K on anything.

It most certainly is (or was – this was the mid 1960s) the pastor’s job whether or not to begin the process of receiving a gift of real estate. With the local pastor (who was also the local Vicar Forane) against the acquisition back then (in favor of just scheduling more Masses), it wouldn’t have went anywhere with the bishop.

 

[Phemie]

It most certainly is (or was – this was the mid 1960s) the pastor’s job whether or not to begin the process of receiving a gift of real estate. With the local pastor (who was also the local Vicar Forane) against the acquisition back then (in favor of just scheduling more Masses), it wouldn’t have went anywhere with the bishop.

Again, I don’t know where you are so it may be very different from where I live. Here the parish’s buildings and land belong to the diocese.

 

[MissRose73]

My parish generally serves lemonade and coffee after each weekend Mass. One weekend a month is donut weekend, where we are encourage to sit with different people & get to know others both parishioners & visitors.

 

[Usige]

It most certainly is (or was – this was the mid 1960s) the pastor’s job whether or not to begin the process of receiving a gift of real estate. With the local pastor (who was also the local Vicar Forane) against the acquisition back then (in favor of just scheduling more Masses), it wouldn’t have went anywhere with the bishop.

Which is the Bishop’s prerogative.You very likely had no visibility into why the VF or Bishop would not have setup a new parish, but simply your own suppositions. Land is only part of the cost of starting a parish.Unless you were privy to diocesan financial records at the time you do not know if they could have started a new parish without weakening the existing parish. Be careful of playing the “I know what would have been best” card when you have the benefit of 50+ years of knowledge. Even with that knowledge they may have made the same choices, which is their right as shepherds of their flock.

We get it. You think the Church does things wrong and you know that fellowship is the thing missing. But that is simply your opinion. As I have said, my parish has social opportunities after each mass, but it is not well attended. To me that says that it is a cultural thing and splitting the parish in 8ths would not change the culture. Why do I say that? Because I have been in large, small, and midsize parishes where I see the same lack of participation with the same opportunities.

One thing you don’t seem to consider is that some parishes might not have great participation right after Mass, but do have numerous small groups meeting throughout the week. My wife and I organize dinners for large family gatherings every month because many time people with 6, 8, 10+ kids are not welcomed at other events. We also do cross parish fellowship as well as things at the diocesan level; none of which are immediately after Mass. My point is that just because you don’t see people wanting to engage in fellowship immediately after Mass does not mean that there is a lack of fellowship on the whole.

Also realize that what you want out of the Church is not necessarily what everyone else wants. At best we can make the offer for others to join us, but we do not have the right to get angry or frustrated if they don’t take us up on our offer. The offer may be a sign of Christian charity, but to get angry is a sign that the offer was focused on what we want.

 

[Solomonson]

Which is the Bishop’s prerogative.You very likely had no visibility into why the VF or Bishop would not have setup a new parish, but simply your own suppositions. Land is only part of the cost of starting a parish.Unless you were privy to diocesan financial records at the time you do not know if they could have started a new parish without weakening the existing parish. Be careful of playing the “I know what would have been best” card when you have the benefit of 50+ years of knowledge. Even with that knowledge they may have made the same choices, which is their right as shepherds of their flock.

We get it. You think the Church does things wrong and you know that fellowship is the thing missing. But that is simply your opinion. As I have said, my parish has social opportunities after each mass, but it is not well attended. To me that says that it is a cultural thing and splitting the parish in 8ths would not change the culture. Why do I say that? Because I have been in large, small, and midsize parishes where I see the same lack of participation with the same opportunities.

One thing you don’t seem to consider is that some parishes might not have great participation right after Mass, but do have numerous small groups meeting throughout the week. My wife and I organize dinners for large family gatherings every month because many time people with 6, 8, 10+ kids are not welcomed at other events. We also do cross parish fellowship as well as things at the diocesan level; none of which are immediately after Mass. My point is that just because you don’t see people wanting to engage in fellowship immediately after Mass does not mean that there is a lack of fellowship on the whole.

Also realize that what you want out of the Church is not necessarily what everyone else wants. At best we can make the offer for others to join us, but we do not have the right to get angry or frustrated if they don’t take us up on our offer. The offer may be a sign of Christian charity, but to get angry is a sign that the offer was focused on what we want.

Not accepting the gift of land to develop parishes for the future, rather than running 6 Masses at a single parish church on Sundays as we do today was ridiculously short sighted. Sad, sad, sad.

 

[Solomonson]

Again, I don’t know where you are so it may be very different from where I live. Here the parish’s buildings and land belong to the diocese.

No where did I suggest they didn’t here – unless they belong to a religious community or a university.