Does your Priest hold Hands during Pater Noster?

[Karl_Keating]

Fr. Frank:

I shuddered so much on this thread, I think my rectory shook.

No, that was a distant wave from Southern California’s latest quake.

It drives me **nuts **when I am concelebrating and the main celebrant turns around to take my hand. What do I do - ignore him and act like I am in some sort of other-world-trance and praying without noticing what is going on? Do I wave him off and cause a possible scandal?

Well, you could noisily and wetly cough into your hand just before the Our Father …

Usually, I just suck it up an say “well, he’s the main priest at this Mass.” The problem is, I never remember to say something to him later. :tsktsk: I just forget. Big mistake.

Lecithin is said to be good for aiding the memory. But I forget to take it.

I know the abuses drive many lay people crazy. Can you imagine what we priests who are trying to remain faithful are going through? I’ve been ordained 20 years.

I empathize, but think of how much shorter your purgatory will be.

And thank God I get the support of my Archbishop!!! :clapping:

You’re lucky. You’ve got a good ordinary. Think of the priests who are stuck in dioceses that aren’t so competently led.

 

[Sparky]

Karl Keating:

Well, you could noisily and wetly cough into your hand just before the Our Father …

Karl, you crack me up, dude.

Here’s a question, Father - Couldn’t you fold your hands for the initial moment of the Our Father (to avoid the hand grab)…then go orans posture?
–Ann

 

[Fr.Frank]

Karl, you crack me up, dude.

Here’s a question, Father - Couldn’t you fold your hands for the initial moment of the Our Father (to avoid the hand grab)…then go orans posture?
–Ann

I’ll try that. It just might work!!

Yeah, and thanks for lightening me up, Karl.

It’s a good think God is patient and has a sense of humor with all we do.

I mean, he’s got to have a sense of humor to have a priest like me!

Don’t laugh too hard, He has to have a sense of humor to use any of us.

Speaking about humor, how about a thread on the greatest joke God has ever pulled on you. What I mean is something happening where you know God does something to get your attention and makes you smile or laugh at yourself in the process. Boy, have I got a story for that one!

 

[FrMatt]

I’ve seen the holding hands thing, but have NEVER done it myself, either while offering Mass or in the congregation. I find the best response to liturgical idiocy is laughter. A priest tried to hold my hand at a concelebrated Mass once and I looked at him with a chuckle as if to say “you must be joking”.

Sorry, but I don’t get all silly during Mass. Maybe during Futurama!

Fr Matt

 

[Fr.Frank]

FrMatt:

I’ve seen the holding hands thing, but have NEVER done it myself, either while offering Mass or in the congregation. I find the best response to liturgical idiocy is laughter. A priest tried to hold my hand at a concelebrated Mass once and I looked at him with a chuckle as if to say “you must be joking”.

Sorry, but I don’t get all silly during Mass. Maybe during Futurama!

Fr Matt

I thought about responding in some such way, either in a chuckle, grin, or just shaking my head at him, but was concerned that the laity at Mass might wonder what is going on between the priests.

I **don’t ** get silly at Mass either. My suggestion RE humor, was for another thread on the Forums here.

Dumbest thing I ever heard a priest do was done by my predecessor at my current assignment. The 2 parishes rotate their Mass schedule every 6 months. This guy on the weekend before the changes whould do a cartwheel, in his vestments in the sanctuary, announcing the flip-flop in Mass times.

I had some people (I don’t know if they were serious) ask me if I were going to do the same. I told them - well within earshot of some of my predecessor’s closest supporters - that I would never be that disrespectful of the Mass, or the vestments I was wearing.

 

[system]

Fathers,
As you see in this discussion, some priests invite the people to hold hands. Is there a reason why the reverse never happens - I have never seen a priest tell the people that he prefers that they NOT do so. Is it just a reluctance to say something which could possibly be taken the wrong way? Have the bishops told you not to? Thank you.

 

[Fr.Frank]

Melman:

Fathers,
As you see in this discussion, some priests invite the people to hold hands. Is there a reason why the reverse never happens - I have never seen a priest tell the people that he prefers that they NOT do so. Is it just a reluctance to say something which could possibly be taken the wrong way? Have the bishops told you not to? Thank you.

Melman,

I do not think the holding of hands has been explicitly exluded (yet!) in the rubrics. If I remember my reading of the new GIRM, it states that the priest is to pray the PN in the orans position, but says nothing about anyone else.

So if it is not explicitly excluded, it would be difficult to insist. Suggest, yes. Insist, doubtful.

If I moved into a parish that had the tradition of holding hands, now that the new GIRM is very clear RE the priests’ position of prayer, I would mention this to the congregation and encourage them to consider the same. I think a great point has been made - either in this thread or another - that the PN is a prayer to the Father, and holding hands makes the focus too “horizontal” instead of “vertical.” (IMHO)

 

[kyrie_eleison]

…Lord, please help me respond wisely…

I dont understand…why do people take the holding of hands so personnal? Why should you find so many ways to avoid a freindly outward expression of communion. I don’t understand how some one would “never” hold hands during the Our Father, but accept a Peace be with your handshake…or why some one would say “thank God we never hold hands during the Our Father” Where is the love?
I will follow the rubrics if someone will find me where it states that hand holding is wrong during the Our Father and if it is then, ok I understand and will respect it.
However, some people in this thread and similar ones make it sound like if hand holding is a sin during the Our Father. Doesn’t is say, “give US this day Our daily bread” not “give me this day, my daily bread?”

Much love and respects

 

[Sparky]

here’s why it’ wrong: it infringes on an indivuals choice of prayer posture.

For instance, I might like to fold my hands in prayer during the Our Father. Who are you to demand that I follow your gesture? The Our Father is not a time of communion in the mass - the Eucharist itself is. Perhaps I want to hold my hands in an orans posture. Who are you to demand I hold your hand?

See what I mean? It cramps an individuals right to pray privately.

Also, there are people who have a phobia of touching others, or have illnesses they don’t want to pass on or receive.

Shaking hands is enough. Leave it at that.
–Ann

 

[system]

The topic of this thread is what priests do.

There is already a long thread for people’s personal preferences.

It would be nice to continue to keep the two topics separated, to the extent that it is possible. Thanks.

 

[Fr.Frank]

I am also aware of one woman, a victim of childhood sexual abuse by an uncle, who once was forced to take the hand of a stranger who reminded her so much of her uncle that she became nauseous and had to leave Mass lest she be sick all over those around her.

From the specific to the general? I know it may not seem like the greatest step of logic, but if something is going to force someone to leave Mass entirely, especially if it is not “required”…

 

[kyrie_eleison]

Sparky:

here’s why it’ wrong: it infringes on an indivuals choice of prayer posture.

For instance, I might like to fold my hands in prayer during the Our Father. Who are you to demand that I follow your gesture? The Our Father is not a time of communion in the mass - the Eucharist itself is. Perhaps I want to hold my hands in an orans posture. Who are you to demand I hold your hand?

See what I mean? It cramps an individuals right to pray privately.

Also, there are people who have a phobia of touching others, or have illnesses they don’t want to pass on or receive.

Shaking hands is enough. Leave it at that.
–Ann

I am sorry but most of the people including myself, do not demand anyone to hold my hand, I personally would not get offended if you do or not. I wouldn’t slap some one either. Demand is too harsh, I prefer offer a hand. I guess I feel strongly about this because my culture is very touchy feely and also some in my culture are not.

Will our Lord ask us if we followed the rubrics when we see Him on that glorius day?
Are we racking up points with Him for following the rules?
Note: I do not and will not ever claim or beleive to think like the Lord or know what our Lord thinks, all this is just because I don’t understand how someone could be so disgusted by holding hands. I am not refering to those who just do not plainly want to hold hands.

 

[kyrie_eleison]

Sorry, I will take my business to the other thread, although, with all due respect, I feel that Priests should rethink the harshness it would be to tell people to stop holding hands during a beautiful prayer of love and communion and keep to themselves It is hard enough to keep them in the Mass.

I dont know I may be wrong…
Much love and respect

 

[The_Vatican_Two]

Everybody holds hands around here. It’s somewhat comical to watch. Only a handful of folks attend the Wed. night Mass here. When they get the ‘Our Father’ portion everyone has to leave their pews to hold hands.

Some of the folks are practically standing on one leg contorting their body to keep continuity with the hand holding chain.

I don’t hold hands, this makes it even harder for everyone else because they have to shuffle around me. I hear all of their feet shuffling around while I pray the ‘Our Father’. Then when it’s over they all shuffle back to their seats while the priest is still praying… “Lord Jesus Christ, you said to your apostles:…” Instead of praying they’re busy finding their seat… and distracting me.

 

[FrMatt]

Fr. Frank:

I **don’t **get silly at Mass either. My suggestion RE humor, was for another thread on the Forums here.

I’m in no way implying that you do get silly at Mass. Sorry if I wasn’t clear - I realised that you weren’t talking about being stupid during Mass; my comment was in relation to those people who think ** I ** might get up to stupidities during Mass. I personally am known for an offbeat sense of humour! I think if we don’t laugh, we’ll cry, so I do enjoy a good laugh, and often. I’d love a humour thread, as I have a few funnies to offer! Another thread I’d like to see is one where we priests can get together and talk about priestly issues. Maybe somewhere quiet, away from the rush, where we could talk and not be noticed.

Dumbest thing I ever heard a priest do was done by my predecessor at my current assignment. The 2 parishes rotate their Mass schedule every 6 months. This guy on the weekend before the changes whould do a cartwheel, in his vestments in the sanctuary, announcing the flip-flop in Mass times.

Eurgh! I’m surprised he didn’t lose his chasuble. Kinda pathetically sad really!

I had some people (I don’t know if they were serious) ask me if I were going to do the same. I told them - well within earshot of some of my predecessor’s closest supporters - that I would never be that disrespectful of the Mass, or the vestments I was wearing.

My answer to them would be to tell them that I’d be happy to do it, but only at their Nuptual Mass or Requiem Mass. Check out their expressions then!!! It seems that some people would happily see disrespect done to Our Lord and His Sacrifice before allowing disrespect to be shown to them.

God Bless,
Fr Matt

 

[FrMatt]

Fr. Frank:

I **don’t **get silly at Mass either. My suggestion RE humor, was for another thread on the Forums here.

I’m in no way implying that you do get silly at Mass. Sorry if I wasn’t clear - I realised that you weren’t talking about being stupid during Mass; my comment was in relation to those people who think ** I ** might get up to stupidities during Mass. I personally am known for an offbeat sense of humour! I think if we don’t laugh, we’ll cry, so I do enjoy a good laugh, and often. I’d love a humour thread, as I have a few funnies to offer! Another thread I’d like to see is one where we priests can get together and talk about priestly issues. Maybe somewhere quiet, away from the rush, where we could talk and not be noticed.

Dumbest thing I ever heard a priest do was done by my predecessor at my current assignment. The 2 parishes rotate their Mass schedule every 6 months. This guy on the weekend before the changes whould do a cartwheel, in his vestments in the sanctuary, announcing the flip-flop in Mass times.

Eurgh! I’m surprised he didn’t lose his chasuble. Kinda pathetically sad really!

I had some people (I don’t know if they were serious) ask me if I were going to do the same. I told them - well within earshot of some of my predecessor’s closest supporters - that I would never be that disrespectful of the Mass, or the vestments I was wearing.

My answer to them would be to tell them that I’d be happy to do it, but only at their Nuptual Mass or Requiem Mass. Check out their expressions then!!! It seems that some people would happily see disrespect done to Our Lord and His Sacrifice before allowing disrespect to be shown to them.

God Bless,
Fr Matt

 

[Fr.Frank]

FrMatt:

I’m in no way implying that you do get silly at Mass. Sorry if I wasn’t clear - Fr Matt

Sorry if I wasn’t clear. (Mutual apology session?) I didn’t assume you were accusing me. It’s just that this stuff is so infuriating…

I like your idea of a place for priests. Kind of like a cyber-Jesu Caritas?

Hey, Karl (or whoever monitors that kind of idea) - what about it?

Humor corner would b fun too.

Fr Matt - how long have you been ordained?

 

[eLiturgist]

kyrie_eleison:

Will our Lord ask us if we followed the rubrics when we see Him on that glorius day?
Are we racking up points with Him for following the rules?

When the Lord asks me whether I love him, I hope to answer that I have loved him by deed – including what He has spelled out for me explicitly through His Church.

And when my wife asks me whether I love her, I hope to be able to answer that I have done what she has asked me to do. Not by what I think she should have wanted me to do. I can be awfully self-centered at times, and following another person’s will – Thy Will Be Done – helps me a lot.

 

[eLiturgist]

deogratias:

The rubics for the priest are clear - he is to hold his hands in the Orans position when praying the Our Father. Too often I see that ignored and the priest too is holding hands with altar servers.

What does your priest do?

He holds his hands in the Orans position. He recently explained that holding hands is not oficially part of the ceremony, so he urged us to not hold hands. Nice start. He then told us that the Orans position is proper for the congregation, too. Oh well.

 

[space_ghost]

our priest is compliant thank God…