Does your Vocation drive you crazy?

[distracted]

I think i am called to be married, but the whole idea causes me anxiety attacks (etc, etc.), particularly concerning the person i feel called to marry :crying: :crying: :banghead: :bigyikes: :doh2: :whacky: (to put it bluntly, he doesn’t act like a Christian a lot of the time…).

I am wondering if you have any testimonials or comments on this theme?

Thanks…

 

[rr1213]

I’ve been happily married for 20 years. Having doubts prior the wedding is just human, after all you will be making a committment for life. If your doubts are more than fleeting, however, you probably should speak about the matter with someone you trust, a family member, priest, counselor, etc.

 

[CatholicCajun]

Been happily married for almost 31 years. We were married in our teens and am so blessed, and the longer we have been married the closer we are to each other and God. God BLess.

 

[crenfro]

One of the reasons I got married was because of what St. Paul said about people who “burned” - they were better off married.

I called divorce lawyers up the day after I got married, certain that I’d made a dreadful mistake.

Six months later we married in the Catholic church and we both went through counseling - in and out of the Catholic church.

We’re now approaching our 16th wedding anniversary and because my spouse is such a good guy I’ve grown to be a better person, much because of his good example.

I always thought I’d wanted to get married, then I did, then I thought it was a terrible mistake, then over time I found it was one of the best decisions I’d ever made.

What’s your intended like? If your intended is a good person with integrity and character, things will work out…

Have you discussed this with God? With a wise and trusted friend?

I wish you the best.

 

[joe5046]

i struggle with my religious vocation daily… I was asked to wait one year before rejoining the seminary, so right now i am going through many temptations to just leave and go back to school. need help

 

[puzzleannie]

I think i am called to be married, but the whole idea causes me anxiety attacks (etc, etc.), particularly concerning the person i feel called to marry (to put it bluntly, he doesn’t act like a Christian a lot of the time…).

I…

I am more concerned with the discernment process which has led you to feel called to marry this person. anxiety attacks at the prospect of marriage hardly sound like a call from God.

 

[latinmasslover]

I think i am called to be married, but the whole idea causes me anxiety attacks (etc, etc.), particularly concerning the person i feel called to marry :crying: :crying: :banghead: :bigyikes: :doh2: :whacky: (to put it bluntly, he doesn’t act like a Christian a lot of the time…).

I am wondering if you have any testimonials or comments on this theme?

Thanks…

Is he Catholic? You say that most of the time he doesn’t act like a Christian…maybe your anxiety is the Spirit of God warning you. I’d make a novena to the Blessed Mother and St. Joseph asking for clarification in this matter. Examine also your attraction to this person…is it a Christian attraction or worldly? You may be still called to marriage, but maybe not to this person. Maybe to this person but not until he’s (forgive the blunt phrase) gotten his act together. And maybe God wants you to be a nun! Keep praying. You should both go talk to a *holy *and *orthodox *priest, together and separately, for advice. God Bless.

 

[RevDrNorth]

I think i am called to be married, but the whole idea causes me anxiety attacks (etc, etc.), particularly concerning the person i feel called to marry :crying: :crying: :banghead: :bigyikes: :doh2: :whacky: (to put it bluntly, he doesn’t act like a Christian a lot of the time…).

I am wondering if you have any testimonials or comments on this theme?

Thanks…

You may well be called to be married BUT are you called to be married to him? If he does not act like a christian you may be getting warning signs from the Lord. The bible specifically warns us against being unequally yoked with un believers.

He may be the one, but you should go through premarital counseling and openly discuss issues such as faith. If it is bothering you now it may be multiplied afterwards and that is why we are warned about being unequally yoked. Your exploring this with him may actually cause him to delve deeper into his faith out of love for you. If not, you may save yourself from grief. You both need to be on the same sheet of music.

I pray that all goes well with you!

Rev North

 

[distracted]

I’ve been happily married for 20 years. Having doubts prior the wedding is just human, after all you will be making a committment for life. If your doubts are more than fleeting, however, you probably should speak about the matter with someone you trust, a family member, priest, counselor, etc.

Thanks for the suggestions. I have to admit, commitment scares me, mostly because i have “issues” that i dont feel my spouse can accept… and he probably can’t because, as stated, he isn’t very “Christian” toward me… (long story… long, WEIRD story…:whacky Anyway… I do need to talk to someone, but just have been putting it off. Frankly, i felt forced to give the whole thing to God so haven’t even wanted to think about finding counseling, etc…

Pray for me (and him ). God bless.

 

[distracted]

You may well be called to be married BUT are you called to be married to him? The bible specifically warns us against being unequally yoked with un believers.

I keep all these things in mind when contemplating this whole situation. Actually, when i pray and ask God who my husband is (in his eyes)… I keep hearing this one person’s name. I realize it could be the devil (and probably is??). But still… some things make me think it may be God, but just that this guy is not “ready”. I don’t feel ready either, but its what God thinks that matters…

He may be the one, but you should go through premarital counseling and openly discuss issues such as faith.

He won’t even speak to me - about anything… (really long story…).

You both need to be on the same sheet of music.

We’re not, which leads me to believe its the devil suggesting he’s my “husband”…

I pray that all goes well with you! Thank you so much. God bless you for your compassion. Pray for him also… he may need it far worse than i do…

Rev North

 

[distracted]

Is he Catholic? You say that most of the time he doesn’t act like a Christian…

He’s Catholic but i don’t know if he’s a very good Christian…

 

[distracted]

Been happily married for almost 31 years. We were married in our teens and am so blessed, and the longer we have been married the closer we are to each other and God. God BLess.

I’m happy for you - it’s nice to know someone out there is happily married. I know a lot of unhappy marriages… mostly non-catholic ones… .

 

[b_justb]

Does your Vocation drive you crazy?

I’m married. My wife doesn’t so much drive me crazy. Now her mom? [SIGN]forgetaboutit[/SIGN]

 

[distracted]

Is Examine also your attraction to this person…is it a Christian attraction or worldly?

This is something i have wondered about. Its rather mysterious as to why this man is so attractive to me. I guess the simple explanation is “chemistry”??
anyway, i let the relationship go because we are not on the same page… I figure if God wants married, he can do something… I feel i have done enough…

You may be still called to marriage, but maybe not to this person. Maybe to this person but not until he’s (forgive the blunt phrase) gotten his act together.

I’ve thought about all these possibilities… There is, i feel, nothing more i can do… than just let go and let God… I have reached a dead end. This guy probably isn’t interested in doing something he feels is not in his best interests…

And maybe God wants you to be a nun! Keep praying.

I wanted to be a nun at one time, but don’t feel that was what God wanted… nothing ever came of that…
Thank you so much for your comments. They help clarify things in my mind, get me to praying about it in a different way or what have you… God bless… could you pray for both of us? thanks…

 

[distracted]

I am more concerned with the discernment process which has led you to feel called to marry this person. anxiety attacks at the prospect of marriage hardly sound like a call from God.

So i know how Jesus felt when he chose to do God’s will…

 

[distracted]

Been happily married for almost 31 years. We were married in our teens and am so blessed, and the longer we have been married the closer we are to each other and God. God BLess.

I believe that is the time to be married - in your teens, before you have a chance to make too many big mistakes… or at least, if you make them, u make them together… It seems the marriages that usually last the longest are the ones that begin while young… I should have married my childhood sweetheart but I had a lot of fears, etc… ran away from all that… I have had too many significant others… so now i am really messed up (been celibate for many years, though, thanks to Jesus). By the time i found Jesus andcame back to the Church, i was one heck of a messed up person… but at least Jesus showed me “things” about myself, etc… I am on my way…
Thanks for the comments… God bless… Please pray for me to find Mr. Right. Or at least Mr. Wannabe TryingtoBe Right

 

[distracted]

i struggle with my religious vocation daily… I was asked to wait one year before rejoining the seminary, so right now i am going through many temptations to just leave and go back to school. need help

You have to go to school to be a priest, so going to school is a good thing… Exactly what do you need help with??

I may only confuse you more, so i am not sure i am the one to “talk to”… but at least, if you are confused, aggravated, etc… you have found a kindred spirit…

 

[Norseman82]

I think i am called to be married, but the whole idea causes me anxiety attacks (etc, etc.), particularly concerning the person i feel called to marry :crying: :crying: :banghead: :bigyikes: :doh2: :whacky: (to put it bluntly, he doesn’t act like a Christian a lot of the time…).

I am wondering if you have any testimonials or comments on this theme?

Thanks…

First of all, what indication do you have that you have been “called” to marry a specific person? Have you received a vision from an archangel, or is it pure emotion? If the latter, then I just want to recount to you something said at a Theology on Tap by an archdiocesan official with the family life ministries office: you must use your head as well as your heart.

Why am I saying this?

First of all, I am in agreement with the other poster who mentioned that this could be the Holy Spirit tugging at you. I am a firm believer that the Holy Spirit can work through our gut feelings and instincts. So if you are having these anxiety attacks, step back away from the situauion and evaluate the situation using your head and see what is the unChristianlike behavior that bothers you. Is it something small but just aggravating, or is it a larger “red flag” (like substance or other abuse) that portends trouble? This is something that ultimately you must evaluate, decide, and take responsibiilty for.

 

[distracted]

First of all, what indication do you have that you have been “called” to marry a specific person? Have you received a vision from an archangel, or is it pure emotion?

I heard the man’s name in my head when i asked Jesus who my husband is… heard it over and over and over… I realize the devil can do this kind of thing, but I have reason 2 doubt its the devil… can’t say why but i do… I mean, I was talking to Jesus at the time… usually i asked in the Church… Even so, I don’t care about the situation anymore.
I used to be very attracted to this person but now, well, he just doeesn’t act like a Christian. So i can’t feel much love anymore… Biggest problem is, I don’t think he cares whether he goes to Heaven or not… (long story)…

I just want to recount to you something said at a Theology on Tap by an archdiocesan official with the family life ministries office: you must use your head as well as your heart.

I’m not using either one at this point. I feel i can’t deal with it - I gave it up.

and see what is the unChristianlike behavior that bothers you. Is it something small but just aggravating, or is it a larger “red flag”

It is a “larger red flag”, which is why i gave up.
His behavior makes me feel the whole thing is from the devil… that HE is from the devil…
Bottom line: “If your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and cast it from you.”

 

[Frodo_Lion]

Yeah I’d say be very careful… A big ol’ part of the vocation to Marriage is that you two will be partners supporting EACH OTHER to get to heaven as well as raising your kids to be holy as well… And Spiritual matters matter most–and if he’s not interested in that… Well… Be very careful… It could possibly be a temptation to get both of you off track.