A
abdullahfathi
Guest
first let me apologize if this is in the wrong forum, I just did not know where to put it.
I have left Islam once and for all. I do not know where I will go but I know I am Christian. And in an odd way it really feels like I never left. The whole time I was trying to be Muslim it was as if something was constantly tugging at me as if no matter what I tried I could find no peace within. A voice in my head would tell me, ‘this isn’t right’ , ‘you are worshiping Satan’ and things of this such. ( No, I am not delusional and no I do not hear voices on a regular basis or anything of that sort )
I am not the kind to try and put down any religion. For the most part I feel that they are harmless except for being mistaken and leading people to Hell but while with Islam I truly felt like I was following something wicked. The more I learned the more I became disturbed. Even the answers to my questions were disturbing. It was not major things but little things that I noticed and it was like the voice would say as I saw them, ‘see I told you, Satan. Allah is Satan.’ but I don’t know.
Maybe I was being paranoid but every sign to me pointed that it was wrong or evil and again I hate to single out any one religion like this but can anyone explain to me why I was unable to become Muslim in my heart?
That is the ultimate purpose of this post is to try and understand why the whole time I was trying to be Muslim [saying fajr, asr, duhr, maghrib and isha (salah) as proscribed, taking the shahada, making wudu, learning the chapters of the qur’an (only learned surah al-fatiha and al-inklas) and of course the greeting between muslims and similar expressions] I could not get rid of this nagging voice and feeling that Jesus was the only way to salvation and Christianity the true religion?
I have left Islam once and for all. I do not know where I will go but I know I am Christian. And in an odd way it really feels like I never left. The whole time I was trying to be Muslim it was as if something was constantly tugging at me as if no matter what I tried I could find no peace within. A voice in my head would tell me, ‘this isn’t right’ , ‘you are worshiping Satan’ and things of this such. ( No, I am not delusional and no I do not hear voices on a regular basis or anything of that sort )
I am not the kind to try and put down any religion. For the most part I feel that they are harmless except for being mistaken and leading people to Hell but while with Islam I truly felt like I was following something wicked. The more I learned the more I became disturbed. Even the answers to my questions were disturbing. It was not major things but little things that I noticed and it was like the voice would say as I saw them, ‘see I told you, Satan. Allah is Satan.’ but I don’t know.
Maybe I was being paranoid but every sign to me pointed that it was wrong or evil and again I hate to single out any one religion like this but can anyone explain to me why I was unable to become Muslim in my heart?
That is the ultimate purpose of this post is to try and understand why the whole time I was trying to be Muslim [saying fajr, asr, duhr, maghrib and isha (salah) as proscribed, taking the shahada, making wudu, learning the chapters of the qur’an (only learned surah al-fatiha and al-inklas) and of course the greeting between muslims and similar expressions] I could not get rid of this nagging voice and feeling that Jesus was the only way to salvation and Christianity the true religion?
