Done With Parish Shopping: Long Post

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I’ve been parish shopping, which means that I’ve been going to different Catholic churches around town – and believe me, there’s no lack of them around here.

This Sunday I re-visited a local church with which I was relatively comfortable a few months ago. Granted, I went to a weekday Mass, but I was glad to see Tabernacle prominently displayed (on the main altar, no less) but as I left Mass this Sunday, I burst into tears on the way home. I railed, “They changed it all, and said that the changes had been instituted 30+ years ago – and tried to sell it to me as if I didn’t know any better!” Here’s my story:

People in the sanctuary didn’t genuflect, they bowed. I figured this was only a pet peeve of mine and these people didn’t know any better. I prayed for forgiveness for unintentional offences.

The homily was orthodox, although anecdotal. The priest tied together the theme of forgiveness, fatherliness, and how fathers can and should show the mercy we have read about in today’s scriptures, since they continue God’s work of creation here on earth. I was pleased.

Now, I specifically chose a seat away from clusters of people so I would have to assume the *Orans *posture during the Pater Noster. However, the lector sidled over the entire length of the pew to take my palm, even after I shook my head “no” with an apologetic smile.

And then it all seemed to spin out of control: people were invited to sing the doxology! The priest ad-libbed, “as we sing:” and the choir piped up with the people singing along until the Great Amen. I knelt with my mouth agape.

I grew up where it wasn’t a common occurrence to receive both species, so I denied taking the Precious Blood and returned to kneel at my pew. People came back and actually sat down and started conversations. Okay, I offered up another prayer against unintentional offences. But then I looked up and saw people – I counted six – taking the host from their hands and dipping it in the Precious Blood with no more reverence than if it were a crouton into salad dressing!

After the priest sat down, I sat back (with the rest of the congregation who was already sitting). Finally, Father invited the fathers to stand and prayed over them. After he was done, the church resounded with applause for these men.

But wait, it gets better. I brought all this up to the liturgist after the Mass. Regarding the congregation singing the doxology she said, “This is the way this parish has always done it since I’ve been here, and I don’t recall anything forbidding it.” I referenced GIRM 151 off the top of my head (since I’ve been to these forums and listening to CAL, I’ve learned so much). She replied that she’d have to “research that.”

I felt like a rat, but told her about people self-communicating. She glossed over it, though, by saying that a “Eucharistic minister cannot refuse to give communion, but she will talk to them.”

I suggested an announcement from the pulpit, a blurb in the bulletin to address it. Perhaps the extraordinary minister slightly lift up the precious blood, tell the communicant that the rubrics forbid self-intinction, and smile until the communicant does the right thing?

I asked if the church still used the sanctus bells, and she told me that no, since it was a carry over from the days when the Mass was in Latin, which the people didn’t speak, so the bells were used to draw people’s attention to something very important that was going on. Now, when I go back to my New England home, we still use the bells at the consecration.

Finally, I asked about not genuflecting to Jesus in the tabernacle. She said that during the Mass, the altar table becomes our focus, not the tabernacle. I replied – as gently as I could – that yes, **during **the Mass the table represents Christ – the cornerstone of the Church. However, before and after Mass, the Blessed Sacrament is in repose in the tabernacle, and GIRM 274, 275 instructs us to genuflect. She cited that people may be following the lead of the elderly, who cannot genuflect, but only bow.

On the drive home I thought of some retort like, “I don’t recall why you didn’t genuflect once when you were traipsing all over the sanctuary before Mass to check credence table,” and prayed to God to forgive my uncharitable thoughts.

Ultimately, I grew up post VII and we kept the bells and smells. I can deal with the women in tube tops and the altar servers in sandals. I can deal with the guitars. But don’t mess with he liturgy. People did not say the prayers of the priest, and we genuflected. And the liturgist acted as if I had an outmoded idea of what Mass was about. I’m still livid.

So, I’m tired of parish shopping. This was the last straw for me. If you live in my area and are aware of a *Novus Ordo *Mass that isn’t filled with liturgical abuses, please contact me and tell me where you go to church. I will meet you there on Sunday.
 
Unfortunately some folks’ only “rule” of tradition is that one is in union with a parish closest to his place of residence. To him, parish shopping is a very ugly sin.

Hopefully the MP will bring the TLM to more parishes where a person doesn’t need to parish shop to bring more reverence into his life.
 
I am sorry that you had to deal with such a poor attitude. A good friend of mine told me that when I see things that offend the Lord to apologize to him on behalf of everybody.

I am just really sad about it and I do not know what else to say.
 
This Sunday I re-visited a local church with which I was relatively comfortable a few months ago. Granted, I went to a weekday Mass, but I was glad to see Tabernacle prominently displayed (on the main altar, no less) but as I left Mass this Sunday, I burst into tears on the way home. I railed, “They changed it all, and said that the changes had been instituted 30+ years ago – and tried to sell it to me as if I didn’t know any better!”
I’ve been there, too, at the parish I grew up in (as well as my father), was baptised in, received rites of Confirmation and Marriage in, had my daughter baptized in (and my husband, who converted). I know just how you feel. Many people have just blithely gone along with the changes, I think when they are instituted gradually they’re not noticed. I found an SSPX chapel, and haven’t looked back. I thank God every day that for this chapel so close to me, and the wonderful priests who are acting as true shepherds to their flock.
 
I’m glad that you posted this. I have a confession to make: I stood and applauded the folks entering the church at the Easter Vigil. I now know that this was inappropriate behavior. I felt great joy in my heart for them, and reacted improperly.

I have a great admiration for people like you. I think it is important for us to point out these problems when we know them for a fact to be improper. You are doing a great service to your parish to point these things out.

If changes are not made, you are behaving responsibly to move on to another parish. I pray you will find a parish home that values your (name removed by moderator)ut and will strive to follow the GIRM.
 
So, I’m tired of parish shopping. This was the last straw for me. If you live in my area and are aware of a *Novus Ordo *Mass that isn’t filled with liturgical abuses, please contact me and tell me where you go to church. I will meet you there on Sunday
Last time I was in the DC area I went to this church in Alexandria.
saintmaryparish.net/about.htm It was very reverent and, in fact, when I was there the homily was on the GIRM. The parish was going over the entire thing bit by bit. They were covering the postures for the entire Mass that day.
 
Hoping you find a home soon that makes fills your spiritual needs.
 
BobP - Thanks for the info on why others would consider parish shopping wrong. I can understand it, especially if, from one parish to another, there was uniformity to the Mass and the Liturgy didn’t change on a whim.

laudamus te - are you also post-VII like me? I always thought it was getting a bad rap until I saw it for myself. (And I don’t think it was the council itself; I firmly believe it’s people who misunderstand it, take it too far, or implement only what they feel is correct. And the liturgist – acting as if I didn’t know any better!)

**briang72 **- please don’t admire me. I’m not really a crusader. When I feel indignation against a person or an organization, it always forces me to look at my own hypocrisies and how to overcome them. In fact, for not submitting to what the “norm” has become, I feel really really bad. Why can’t I just be comfortable with it?

In fact, I made a mistake earlier. Regarding my gripe about the posture after receiving communion: kneeling, sitting, or standing is based on the local custom. So, if the folks sit, they sit. (That doesn’t mean that I have to, though.)

To those who wrote or PMd me about the Basilica: thank you! I really don’t mean to sound like I’m being obstructionist to your suggestions, but the basilica is not a parish. So, I can’t register or really participate in parish life. I’ve been taking the metro there, but really want to find a solid Catholic home. I’m on the Maryland side of DC, outside the beltway.
 
I’m glad that you posted this. I have a confession to make: I stood and applauded the folks entering the church at the Easter Vigil. I now know that this was inappropriate behavior. I felt great joy in my heart for them, and reacted improperly.
Applause is actually written into the Order of the Mass for that day, so you did nothing wrong. We also applaud when babies are baptized, when teens receive the Sacrament of Confirmation, and when men are ordained to the priesthood and to the diaconate.

But it is inappropriate to applaud in the middle of Mass if someone is not receiving an unrepeatable Sacrament.
 
Praying for you to Mary, St. Joseph, and St. Michael:

Hail Mary full of grace, the Lord is with you
Blessed art thou among women,
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God
Pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

To you, O Blessed Joseph, we come in our trials, and having asked the help of your most holy spouse, we confidently ask your patronage also. Through that sacred bond of charity which united you to the Immaculate Virgin Mother of God and through the fatherly love with which you embraced the Child Jesus, we humbly beg you to look graciously upon the beloved inheritance which Jesus Christ purchased by his blood, and to aid us in our necessities with your power and strength.

O most provident guardian of the Holy Family, defend the chosen children of Jesus Christ. Most beloved father, dispel the evil of falsehood and sin. Our most mighty protector, graciously assist us from heaven in our struggle with the powers of darkness. And just as you once saved the Child Jesus from mortal danger, so now defend God’s Holy Church from the snares of her enemies and from all adversity. Shield each one of us by your constant protection, so that, supported by your example and your help, we may be able to live a virtuous life, to die a holy death, and to obtain eternal happiness in heaven. Amen.

St. Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the Devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,
and do thou,
O Prince of the heavenly hosts,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan,
and all the evil spirits,
who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.
 
Fatima Prayer of Reparation (given to the three children by St. Michael the Archangel on May 13, 1917).

O My God
I believe and I adore
I hope, and I love thee.

And I beg pardon
For those who don’t believe,
Do not adore, do not hope, do not love thee.

O most holy Trinity
O I love thee
My God my God O I love thee
In this most blessed Sacrament.
 
Have you attended St. Mary Mother of God? They have a Latin Mass every Sunday morning and every second Sunday @ 5:00 except for July and August. I attended Mass there a week ago and it was beautiful and reverent. I have also attended 10 AM Mass at St. Matthew’s and 12 noon Mass at the Basilica. I envy those who live in DC who have access to such beautiful and reverent liturgy.
 
I envy those who live in DC who have access to such beautiful and reverent liturgy.
Here’s my area (it’s a large map so I feel okay in posting it).

Anything else and I have to take the Metro into the city.

*Edited to add: *And your prayers? Have my crying like a little girl. Thank you so much!
 
Do you think that you could drive over to Northern Virginia on a Sunday morning? There isn’t much traffic on the beltway then. I can assure you that you can find many orthodox parishes in the Diocese of Arlington. You can start with St. Catherine of Siena in Great Falls, which is probably the closest to you. When we lived in Virginia this was our parish, and I meet families that did come from Montgomery County for Sunday Mass, and even to teach CCD. Others are St. John’s in McLean, Our Lady of Hope in Potomac Falls, St. Veronica’s in Herndon, St. Theresa’s in Ashburn, and St. Andrew’s in Clifton. There is also St. James in Falls Church, and in Alexandria, St. Lawrence when they offer the Tridentine Mass, as well as St. Mary’s in Old Town that another poster mentioned. There are no doubt other great parishes in the Diocese of Arlington that I am not familiar with so I don’t mean to slight them. You can check the website for the Diocese of Arlington for addresses of these parished.
 
I understand how you feel. I’ve left mass in tears more often than I can count. Finally, I found a TLM mass 65 miles away. My husband, reluctantly, started to go with me, but now he’s the one wanting to make the drive. If I could find a reverent NO mass in our area, I would go there, but there is none and, in the process, I find that I still love the TLM mass of my childhood, even though I was very young when the changes were made. I can still remember the NO mass said with reverence and still using the Latin in the mid-later 1960’s. It was lovely. We have surely strayed since then.

I want my Church back too!!
 
Here’s my area (it’s a large map so I feel okay in posting it).

Anything else and I have to take the Metro into the city.

*Edited to add: *And your prayers? Have my crying like a little girl. Thank you so much!
Believe me, I sympathize with you! I often cringe at what has happened to reverence in our churches. When I wrote that I envy those who have access to these Masses I was referring to the people who are able to get to them, not necessarily you, since I don’t know your transportation situation.
I am not from the DC area, but are you anywhere near Benedict or Silver Spring? According to the ecclesiadei.org website there is a Tridentine Mass at St. Francis de Sales in Benedict and Old St. John the Evangelist in Silver Spring.
 
Have you attended St. Mary Mother of God? They have a Latin Mass every Sunday morning and every second Sunday @ 5:00 except for July and August. I attended Mass there a week ago and it was beautiful and reverent. I have also attended 10 AM Mass at St. Matthew’s and 12 noon Mass at the Basilica. I envy those who live in DC who have access to such beautiful and reverent liturgy.
Is that the one in Chinatown? My brother-in-law will be a priest in residence there starting in the fall. He is studying at Catholic U.
 
Is that the one in Chinatown? My brother-in-law will be a priest in residence there starting in the fall. He is studying at Catholic U.
Yes, it is in Chinatown. I was fortunate to be able to attend Mass there on June 10. The choir sang Richter’s Mass in C. It was beautifully done. I wish I were able to get there more often but I live a long distance from DC.
 
I am not from the DC area, but are you anywhere near Benedict or Silver Spring? According to the ecclesiadei.org website there is a Tridentine Mass at St. Francis de Sales in Benedict and Old St. John the Evangelist in Silver Spring.
I’ve looked into St. John’s. That would be my firstTridentine mass and I"m still feeling a little…self-conscious about it.
 
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