Don't beg God??

[ChristineMac]

I have a co-worker whom I respect highly as a devout and holy Christian woman (evangelical protestant). I was discussing with her about my husband’s severe chronic pain and health problems which he has suffered from for over 9 years. I relayed to her that I have begun literally ‘begging and pleading’ with God throughout the day to heal him physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc.

My friend told me that ‘begging and pleading’ is not the right way to pray; that I should pray once in faith for my need, and from then on just ‘praise and thank God’ for answering me and believe that he will answer (according to His will, I assume).

Is this the correct Catholic perspective on prayer? Although I have through the years prayed for my husband’s healing and at the same time prayed the His will be done; lately I am almost to the point of despair that he gets no better, but is actually getting worse and worse, especially emotionally and spiritually. I cannot help but fall on my knees at the point of tears to just beg and beg God for help. I this wrong?

 

[Jennykay]

First, I encourage you to post on the Prayer Intentions thread and ask for prayers
for your husband and also for yourself. This can be a comfort and consolation as the prayers of others are added to your own.
Second, although your friend meant well, I don’t think there is a right or wrong way for you
to pray for your husband. God loves you and knows your intentions.

 

[beckycmarie]

Hi Christine,

If you’ve been praying that God’s will be done, and for the time being it seems His will is that your husband continue to have health problems, then certainly you can continue to pray for healing, but it sounds like you also should pray to be resigned to God’s will.

If God hasn’t given you what you’ve been asking for in prayer, it’s because He’s giving you something better. When someone is suffering, they are being perfected. You are suffering along with your husband, and are being purified as well. God knows what is best for us, even if it seems terrible from our point of view.

 

[Tamsulosin]

One time,in a Homily, our pastor said that God will do his will and what is best for our souls,regardless of what we ask to happen. He made a comparison with a vending machine,that we put a coin and obtain what we want. It does not work like that.
So, in what way do prayers help? Didn’t Jesus said : ask and you will be given?(Those perhaps not being the exact words ,though.)
The priest further explained that prayers are heard and answered in a way that results in our spiritual betterment, sometimes in ways that we may not comprehend at that time.If what we so fervently asked for does happen, we tend to think that our prayers were heard. When it does not happen according to our requests, then we think our prayers were not heard. We should accept that his will is for our eternal good,I understood the priest said.****

 

[Monica4316]

Hi, I know that some Protestants believe that after praying for something, we should immediately thank God for answering and believe that He will answer… but sometimes it’s not His will to answer in the specific way we ask. I personally think there’s nothing wrong with pleading with God to heal your husband… don’t despair though, and pray with faith and after praying, resign yourself to God’s will. Sometimes He doesn’t say ‘no’, but "not yet’… sometimes He wants us to learn perseverence in prayer, we have to trust that whatever His will is, it is best. But as long as you are not despairing…if you find yourself just begging God for something, I’m sure He understands and He sees how difficult it is!! He knows your intention… God bless

 

[cothrige]

My friend told me that ‘begging and pleading’ is not the right way to pray; that I should pray once in faith for my need, and from then on just ‘praise and thank God’ for answering me and believe that he will answer (according to His will, I assume).

I would say a good place to start is to look at Luke 11.

And he said to them: Which of you shall have a friend, and shall go to him at midnight, and shall say to him: Friend, lend me three loaves. Because a friend of mine is come off his journey to me, and I have not what to set before him. And he from within should answer, and say: Trouble me not, the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give thee. Yet if he shall continue knocking, I say to you, although he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend: yet, because of his importunity, he will rise, and give him as many as he needeth.

And I say to you, Ask, and it shall be given you: seek, and you shall find: knock, and it shall be opened to you.

Here, you may recall, our Lord is telling the disciples how to pray, and so the friend in this parable is God. It is clear therefore that we should pray not just once with our petitions, but continuously and persistently. We should not give up. We should not simply accept that it is meant to be this or that way for no other reason than that is not how our Lord told us to pray. He said to keep knocking and keep praying. Yes, we should also pray that His will, not ours, be done, and neither should we despair if we do not get what we ask for. But we should ask, and continue asking. As Saint Louis de Montfort said, “God wants to be importuned.”

 

[brigid12]

I have a co-worker whom I respect highly as a devout and holy Christian woman (evangelical protestant). I was discussing with her about my husband’s severe chronic pain and health problems which he has suffered from for over 9 years. I relayed to her that I have begun literally ‘begging and pleading’ with God throughout the day to heal him physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc.

My friend told me that ‘begging and pleading’ is not the right way to pray; that I should pray once in faith for my need, and from then on just ‘praise and thank God’ for answering me and believe that he will answer (according to His will, I assume).

Is this the correct Catholic perspective on prayer? Although I have through the years prayed for my husband’s healing and at the same time prayed the His will be done; lately I am almost to the point of despair that he gets no better, but is actually getting worse and worse, especially emotionally and spiritually. I cannot help but fall on my knees at the point of tears to just beg and beg God for help. I this wrong?

St. Monica also fell on her knees crying for St. Augustine’s conversion - for decades! And she is now a Saint with a son who is also a Saint and a Doctor of the Church!
St. Augustine writes that it was her continual prayer and tears that saved him. We do need to remember that His timing is not our timing and that He really does know best (that’s sometimes a hard one to always keep in mind, for me:blush.
Not to say your friend is entirely wrong as St. Paul does tell us to pray with thanksgiving and praise, believing that you have what you prayed about.

 

[Monica4316]

sometimes when I pray for something repeatedly and it’s not getting answered, I just stop for a second and praise God, not for answering the prayer in the future, but just for who He is… I find that really helps me to trust Him and to remember that He doesn’t stop loving us.

 

[adowcday]

My friend told me that ‘begging and pleading’ is not the right way to pray; that I should pray once in faith for my need, and from then on just ‘praise and thank God’ for answering me and believe that he will answer (according to His will, I assume).

Your repeated prayer for your husband is just fine. There are no rules in prayer. Pray as God leads you to pray. You might show your friend I Kings 18:41-46. After years of drought, Elijah prays for rain seven times, and is answered the seventh time.

In my experience, whatever you do as a Catholic, an evangelical protestant will tell you you’re doing it wrong!

 

[DebChris]

Reading the OT, you will find the mother of Samuel crying in the temple to the point of being seen as out of her mind and possibly drunk.
There is the parable of the widow seeking justice used as lesson in persevering in prayer.
St. Monica has already been mentioned.
A caution: It is easy to become caught in a cycle of self-pity when prayers are not immediately answered. One way around this is to pray for others going through the same thing. Allow others to pray for you.
I also read years ago, in New Covenant magazine the story of a woman who prayed for healing. It is when she stopped and simply worshiped God that she experienced healing.
What your friend was pointing to was the importance of praying with expectant faith.
We cry from the depths of our heart and God hears our prayers, whatever form they take.

 

[LilyM]

Our Lord certainly sounds like He was ‘begging and pleading’ in Gethsemane - and He certianly didn’t do anything so odd-sounding as thanking the Father in advance for answering His prayer!

 

[PinkAquarius84]

I come begging to God, making deals with him and all that stuff… it is not wrong

 

[adowcday]

I come begging to God, making deals with him and all that stuff… it is not wrong

I’m not sure about “making deals” with God, although it has biblical precedent. One of my favorite passages in the bible is Abraham’s prayer to God after God told Abraham he was going to destroy Sodom. It was less an “ask, then praise” moment than haggling in a bazaar over the price of a rug. Abraham drives a pretty hard bargain.