Don't feel called - Should go anyway?

[Rawb]

I don’t think I’m called to be a priest.

I don’t get any ‘chills’ when I think about saying Mass. I don’t get excited about ever going to seminary, or receiving a habit or collar. I look at the vocation pages of religious orders and don’t feel interested.

I think I would be a horrible pastor (I struggle with pride and being judgmental, and can get very, very orthodox/conservative sometimes). I am the only Catholic in my family, so I feel like I would be very alone. I don’t want to be a priest.

I do get excited at the idea of someday being married. I’m really looking forward to the upcoming Lay Dominican information meeting this Saturday. I do feel, maybe, that I’m called to be a deacon someday. I LOVE the challenge of living in the world and not being of it, though I fail often.

But I want to do God’s Will, and I worry sometimes that all of this ‘stuff’ that I feel could be myself drowning out God’s voice and telling me what to do. People tell me all the time I should be a priest (I study Catholicism a lot, I pray a lot, I am part of the adoration team, and I’m a 21 year old guy). Lately I’ve thought about attending a “Come and See” weekend down south for the Dominicans (the only order I could possibly, remotely, maybe feel called too) just to make sure I’m not denying God’s Will.

But part of me worries I’ll be wasting mine and the priests’ time. If there’s a limited number of seats I could be taking one from a guy who IS called. I don’t really want to go, and I’d have to find someone to cover my CCD class that Saturday.

I think I’m over-thinking this, and it sounds almost silly, but I think some people here will understand. Is it obvious I’m not called, and I should stop worrying about this?

 

[newbear]

I think that you should attend the meeting. Once you get there, you will around other people that may have the same doubts and feelings that you have, You will have the chance to ask the questions you need answered. My prayers are with you.
May God Bles
newbear

 

[DL82]

Rawb, your story sounds a lot like my own. I think you need to ask yourself whether, in your joy at the thought ofmarriage and the good you would do living faithfully in the world, there hides a greater joy at knowing that you have so much to give up to God, who will always outdo us in generosity. Don.t discount the idea of a call from without, i.e. those around you who say you.d make a good priest, not all priests want their vocation to begin with. Don.t worry too much about your shortcomings either, you are young and there will be plenty of time to learn how to be a good pastor in seminary. Consider Our Lady.s call, it came from outside of her, an angel announced it, it was affirmed by others, by St Joseph and in the temple by St Symeon and St Anna, she was willing to listen to those voices outside herself and lay aside her own plans to be God.s handmaid. I wish you all the best in your journey, and I.d advise you go to the weekend with the Dominicans, i doubt it will be oversubscribed, and if nothing else you will be able to put this doubt to rest and get on with the business of finding a wife and living faithfully your calling in the world.

 

[Cluny]

If you DO go on this Come and See weekend, you’ll probably get one of two answers.

1. You have no vocation to the Priesthood.
2. You DO have a vocation to the Priesthood (in or out of the Dominicans).

Isn’t either an answer to prayer?

You’ve also not told us how old you are (or I missed it).

 

[caoindealbhan]

If you didn’t have a calling you wouldn’t be struggling with making a decision. There is something there. Keep searching and praying and God will lead you. As things become clearer, remember God never stops calling. Jonah spent three days in a whale to learn that.

 

[Hidden_One]

@Rawb

I think I’m over-thinking this, and it sounds almost silly, but I think some people here will understand. Is it obvious I’m not called, and I should stop worrying about this?

You should stop worrying, but you shouldn’t stop discerning. Not while you’re uncertain.

@caoindealbhan

If you didn’t have a calling you wouldn’t be struggling with making a decision. There is something there.

I have no suitable response except that that statement is false.

 

[Rawb]

You’ve also not told us how old you are (or I missed it).

I’m 21. I’m pursuing a degree in psychology right now, debating whether to do graduate school in Virginia (there’s a school that combines Catholic theology with psychology. As you can see from my location it would be quite a move). I converted to the Church 3 years ago (the only Catholic, as I said, in my family besides my grandparents).

I’m still debating. I get urges of “yeah, I’m gonna go” and then “no, I don’t think I’m called”. I appreciate everyone who’s responded, here and in PM’s.

 

[DL82]

I’m 21. I’m pursuing a degree in psychology right now, debating whether to do graduate school in Virginia (there’s a school that combines Catholic theology with psychology. As you can see from my location it would be quite a move). I converted to the Church 3 years ago (the only Catholic, as I said, in my family besides my grandparents).

I’m still debating. I get urges of “yeah, I’m gonna go” and then “no, I don’t think I’m called”. I appreciate everyone who’s responded, here and in PM’s.

If you’re not sure, you should go. Don’t worry, they’re not going to ask you to sign up for the novitiate on the spot!

My Spiritual Director told me to be careful to distinguish between excitement and attraction - excitement is our emotional response to our own wants - i.e. wanting to get married in order to have a companion, in order to have sex, security, children, whereas attraction is our spirit’s response in love to the needs of others - seeing that another person is in need of a faithful husband and father, seeing that you would complement another person’s needs.

It’s true that some people will tell any faithful Catholic man under 40 he should think about becoming a priest. It’s also true that the Church needs faithful married men too, if every young man who took their faith seriously became a priest, who would be left to work in the world?

Still, if you are not sure, go. I identify with your experience on so many levels, and I’m currently staying with the Salesians for 3 months, it’s definitely helping me to see what I am, and am not, called to. I’m only 2 weeks in, but am pretty sure I’ll have an answer by the end of my 3 months. If you are called to married life after all, would you not rather enter into it knowing 100% that you are doing God’s will, not worrying that you might be running away?

 

[anode]

DL, I am very glad you decided to go on the Salesians’ experience !
I encouraged you to try it )

I think that anyone considering religious life/priesthood should try out a weekend/month/3 month experience, if it is otherwise feasible from a time/money standpoint. At the end of the experience there will be certain things that you will KNOW and one of them may be whether the life is for you. Maybe the experience will answer it, maybe not-maybe it will lead to something else–marriage or anther expression of religious life, maybe remaining single.

You will NOT be making a mistake by doing this, even if you realize by the end of the second day that you were wrong! (although I don’t know if I would want to stay the rest of the 3 months, having realized this…) but perseverance is important, too, and even if you realize soon into the time that it was wrong, it may be worthwhile to stay at least a little longer. Talking to your supervisors would be useful also. In the end, you will have answered at least a few of the many questions you have.

I think that many young people want to know the answers right now, if not sooner, and that it is difficult for them to do the research and groundwork to find the answers, and above all, to become more patient. These experiences will help them do all of these things.