Don't know if this is right or not

[garn9173]

My maternal grandma is in her early 90’s and she belongs in a nursing home. However, she made my Mom & her brothers promise that the only way my Grandma would leave her home is in a body bag.

For the last 10 years or so, my mom has been her primary care giver, often spending days at a time at my Grandma’s. Two of my uncles don’t lift a finger to help and the third does what he can, but he farms full time, works off the farm full time and not to mention his wife (my aunt) isn’t in the best of health either. In fact, all three of my uncles farm and a second has a full time off the farm job as well.

Christmas night when I was home, I went to my Grandma’s to spend some time with my home (Grandma didn’t even know who I was) and my Mom said that Grandma has said numerous times when she was in the right state of mind that she was ready to die. Today, a lift is used to move her around the house as she cann’t even phiscally move. She’s not paralyzed, but refused to do physical therapy following a knee replacement surgery 10 plus years ago.

My Mom is emotionally & physically exhausted, not to mention it’s created a financing strain for my Mom & step-dad.

I don’t know if this is right or not, but would it be okay to ask God to bring my Grandma home?

 

[Catholic90]

Ask for God’s will to be done.

If she is wearing your mom out, it would also be OK for your mom to look into help. That help may come in the form of a nursing home.

Sorry, but if she REFUSED to do therapy to help herself, then she cannot demand she stay in her own home. She has to put in a little effort (probably too late now).

She sounds selfish (and probably scared), but your mom has every right to look after herself once in a while, too.

 

[garn9173]

Ask for God’s will to be done…

Thanks, I will add this to my prayer intentions.

My Mom has missed out on so many family things with my siblings because she’s been at Grandma’s that my siblings and I have alot of pinned up anger that’s going to be unloaded on my uncles when the time is right…

 

[Nate13]

I would ask God for relief in whatever form he may choose to bring that. I’d agree with the previous poster that your Grandma has made an unreasonable demand. If she does not want to live into a nursing home, you could maybe look into hiring some help. It would depend on how much of an issue money is though.

 

[garn9173]

Ask for God’s will to be done.

If she is wearing your mom out, it would also be OK for your mom to look into help. That help may come in the form of a nursing home.

Sorry, but if she REFUSED to do therapy to help herself, then she cannot demand she stay in her own home. She has to put in a little effort (probably too late now).

She sounds selfish (and probably scared), but your mom has every right to look after herself once in a while, too.

Thanks, I will add this to my prayer intentions.

My Mom has missed out on so many family things with my siblings because she’s been at Grandma’s that my siblings and I have alot of pinned up anger that’s going to be unloaded on my uncles who won’t help when the time is right. I think one uncle maybe coming around as he’s been at the house more since the first of the year than the last several years combined, perhaps he knows the time is near…

There was a couple of times last year that she had to go to a Nursing Home for a weekend and when she was “still with it” would flip out. I could tell at Christmas that she’s fading fast and that was after being home for Turkey Day.

 

[kmuestwin]

My suggestion is that all of the siblings should pay for your mother to have a nurse come daily to your grandmother’s house.

You could get the ball rolling by calling different hospice care providers and trying to see what they could do.