Don't know what to do....

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EmmyYYZ

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Hello. Forgive me if this is the wrong forum section to post this. Today I joined Catholic Answers Forums after a good amount of time reading threads as a guest. It has really helped me to understand Catholicism much more than from what I had already known. However, I have a few specific questions and I am sort of in a confusing situation.

To start off, I would like to become a fully confirmed member of the Catholic Church. There’s some problems though. I’ll try to shorten my story as much as I can… :o Well, I’m 14 years old. My dad had fallen away from the Church before I was born. By the wishes of my mother, I was baptized. Though I am grateful for that, I was never completely sure of her reasoning for it (she doesn’t really understand much about the Church, being she’s kind of in the same place I am: baptized. And that’s all). I was only ever baptized, and have only been to mass a few times. But ever since I was a young child, I have had the desire to know God. Despite being raised with no religion, I wish to be a true Catholic, but as you can see, I don’t know where to start. 🤷

I’m a bit scared to ask my parents. I really don’t understand why I am. They know I read my Bible, they know I pray, and they figure that I have beliefs similar to Catholicism (although, I am pretty sure they don’t realize my desire to be a TRUE Catholic). My dad, though I am not certain as to what he believes, highly respects the Church and I know he would probably be supportive. My mother, I think, holds some things against the Church, though I know she would probably be supportive as well. I guess I’m just scared of their first reaction because I have never really mentioned it before. 😊

So, I would love some advice. I know this is an odd situation…
Also, I have some other questions as well.
  1. I am not sure of the steps I would have to take in order to be confirmed. Can someone clear this up for me?
  2. Being that I am in this situation, where I can’t really go to confession right now, though I have the desire to, can I be forgiven of mortal sin by just confessing directly to God?
  3. Should I just wait until I’m old enough to make my own decisions?
I may have more questions later on. Thank you for being so patient. I really felt like I had no where else to turn. :o
 
To be confirmed, you have to contact the church office for arranging confirmation class. I encourage you talk to your parents. Since you are only 14 and cannot drive yet, you will need their support to bring you to church. Don’t be afraid to ask. Pray first then ask. They are your parents. Maybe your interest in faith will encourage them to re-seek their faith. God bless!
 
EmmyYYZ said:
Hello. Forgive me if this is the wrong forum section to post this. Today I joined Catholic Answers Forums after a good amount of time reading threads as a guest. It has really helped me to understand Catholicism much more than from what I had already known. However, I have a few specific questions and I am sort of in a confusing situation.

To start off, I would like to become a fully confirmed member of the Catholic Church. There’s some problems though. I’ll try to shorten my story as much as I can… :o Well, I’m 14 years old. My dad had fallen away from the Church before I was born. By the wishes of my mother, I was baptized. Though I am grateful for that, I was never completely sure of her reasoning for it (she doesn’t really understand much about the Church, being she’s kind of in the same place I am: baptized. And that’s all). I was only ever baptized, and have only been to mass a few times. But ever since I was a young child, I have had the desire to know God. Despite being raised with no religion, I wish to be a true Catholic, but as you can see, I don’t know where to start. 🤷

I’m a bit scared to ask my parents. I really don’t understand why I am. They know I read my Bible, they know I pray, and they figure that I have beliefs similar to Catholicism (although, I am pretty sure they don’t realize my desire to be a TRUE Catholic). My dad, though I am not certain as to what he believes, highly respects the Church and I know he would probably be supportive. My mother, I think, holds some things against the Church, though I know she would probably be supportive as well. I guess I’m just scared of their first reaction because I have never really mentioned it before. 😊

So, I would love some advice. I know this is an odd situation…
Also, I have some other questions as well.
  1. I am not sure of the steps I would have to take in order to be confirmed. Can someone clear this up for me?
  2. Being that I am in this situation, where I can’t really go to confession right now, though I have the desire to, can I be forgiven of mortal sin by just confessing directly to God?
  3. Should I just wait until I’m old enough to make my own decisions?
I may have more questions later on. Thank you for being so patient. I really felt like I had no where else to turn. :o
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I was about your age when I gave away my first green scapular to my uncle. My uncle died with the sacraments.

Mary gave us this green scapular precisely to help us. Mary is your spiritual mother in heaven, who is the mother of Jesus. Jesus besides giving us his life, he also gave us his own mother to be ours from the cross. She wants to help you but you must ask your mother for her help.

Mary appeared to Sister Justine in Paris France in 1840. She asked the sister to make a green scapular with a picture of her on it. Mary wants it given to those who need help with the faith, whether they don’t have the faith, or are weak in the faith, or who have fallen away from the faith. She promised she would strengthen their faith, or that they would receive faith if they didn’t have it. She also promised a peaceful death.

Now Mary asked certain conditions for its use. That it be blessed, that the person carry it on them, or wear it. That they say this prayer everyday, “Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.” The last condition is that they must believe that she will do what she said she would do…trusting her completely without doubt. This last condition is most important for it to be effective. But then why would she bother to give it to us if she didn’t intend to do everything she said? It is her gift to us to help us to bring people to her son. It is a favor to her for us to use it. Just trust her knowing that it is already done when you use it properly.

There is one other nice side to this. She said if the person refuses the scapular, then it may be slipped to them unknowingly by putting it in their clothing, room, bed, etc. The person who slipped it to them must say the prayer for them everyday, “Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.”

She did not say when the conversion would happen, just that it will take place.

Ask your parents if they will put the scapular in their purse or wallet, and if they will say that little prayer to Mary every day. If they accept, then be sure you say the prayer for each of them everyday and once for yourself. That way if they forget, the prayer will still be said for them. If they refuse the scapular, then hide it around them somewhere, and say the prayer for each of them every day. Besure to say that prayer for yourself as well, and also carry one on you as well.

Here is a website you can obtain green scapulars for free.
They are already blessed when you get them.

greenscapular.org/scapulars.html

This is long enough, so wish you the best.​

May God bless and keep you. May God’s face shine on you. May God be kind to you and give you peace.
 
I’m not sure if question #2 mean that you do not feel able to go to Confession because you depend on your parents for permission and transportation, or because you are not yet Confirmed. If it is the latter: Were you baptized Catholic? If so, you can go to Confession now. If you had been raised in the Church, you would probably have made your first Confession at the age of seven, before receiving First Holy Communion. Confirmation would have come later.
 
My advice would be to just be sincere with your parents, that you have become more interested in Catholicism, and would they allow you to look into it further? You say they already know you read the Bible and pray, so they will probably not be shocked.

Assuming you receive permission from your parents, the next step would be to call your local parish. You will most likely need to take RCIA classes to learn more about the faith before you receive your first Holy Communion and Confirmation. Do you have Catholic friends? Either way, you might want to ask if your parish has a youth group so you can meet more people your own age.
 
Emmy

It’s so good you’re doing this. God bless you on this journey.

Start by praying every morning when you wake up and each night before you get into bed. Just a few moments - ask for God’s help in the morning then thank him at night and apologize for any slip-ups during the day. Always ask for help and guidance. Your path will unfold in God’s way and on God’s timetable. Just remain faithful even if you encounter delays or opposition. As St. Therese of Avila said: “Patience obtains all things”.

Tell your parents you’d like to go to church and that you’d like to make your first Communion and be confirmed. See how they react. Even if they don’t go, perhaps there’s a relative or friend of the family who goes regularly and who can take you. Speak to a priest too. If you have no way of getting to the nearest church, contact him by phone.
 
Hi there,

Can I first say how glad I am to see a young Catholic who is ready to take charge of their faith life?

I too am a young Catholic and I dealt with this issue when I was your age, although I had been confirmed and then my family and I fell away from the Church (an unfortunate trend amongst cradle Catholics, no?). God blessed me with the opportunity to bring faith back into my family. You are certainly not alone, my friend.

My advice to you is this-- God is with you on this one, so it doesn’t matter who might have an opinion otherwise. God wants you to follow through with the participation in His sacraments and I’m sure you can feel him tugging at your heart! Just be honest with your parents. Tell them your desire to be active in your parish, get confirmed, go to confession, etc. I mean, most teenagers are probably wanting to ‘delve into’ alcohol and partying, they can’t get upset with you for wanting to get into the Church, right? 👍

Put it into the hands of God. Trust in Him. It is His will, and He can make all things happen!

I will pray for you and all other teens who struggle with this!

Pax
 
EmmyYYZ said:
Hello. Forgive me if this is the wrong forum section to post this. Today I joined Catholic Answers Forums after a good amount of time reading threads as a guest. It has really helped me to understand Catholicism much more than from what I had already known. However, I have a few specific questions and I am sort of in a confusing situation.

To start off, I would like to become a fully confirmed member of the Catholic Church.
Click to expand...
That’s totally awesome! :dancing: :dancing: :dancing:
There’s some problems though. I’ll try to shorten my story as much as I can… :o Well, I’m 14 years old. My dad had fallen away from the Church before I was born. By the wishes of my mother, I was baptized. Though I am grateful for that, I was never completely sure of her reasoning for it (she doesn’t really understand much about the Church, being she’s kind of in the same place I am: baptized. And that’s all). I was only ever baptized, and have only been to mass a few times. But ever since I was a young child, I have had the desire to know God. Despite being raised with no religion, I wish to be a true Catholic, but as you can see, I don’t know where to start. 🤷
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Your parents probably said something like, Let’s let our daughter make her own decisions about religion, when she is old enough.

Well, now you are old enough, and you are making a very good decision. 🙂
I’m a bit scared to ask my parents. I really don’t understand why I am. They know I read my Bible, they know I pray, and they figure that I have beliefs similar to Catholicism (although, I am pretty sure they don’t realize my desire to be a TRUE Catholic). My dad, though I am not certain as to what he believes, highly respects the Church and I know he would probably be supportive. My mother, I think, holds some things against the Church, though I know she would probably be supportive as well. I guess I’m just scared of their first reaction because I have never really mentioned it before. 😊
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So, I would love some advice. I know this is an odd situation…
Also, I have some other questions as well.
Click to expand...
Just say, “Mom and Dad, I’m old enough now to decide that I want to be part of the Church into which I was baptized. I’m ready to claim the inheritance that is waiting for me in the Church.”
  1. I am not sure of the steps I would have to take in order to be confirmed. Can someone clear this up for me?
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The priest at your nearest Catholic Church will know. For teens, the process is a bit different depending on where you go, but your pastor (the priest of the parish nearest to your home) has a plan for you. Make an appointment with him to talk about it.
  1. Being that I am in this situation, where I can’t really go to confession right now, though I have the desire to, can I be forgiven of mortal sin by just confessing directly to God?
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When you have your meeting with the priest (or with the staff member who is in charge of teen education) ask about Preparation for First Reconciliation, and ask if you can do that part first.
 
SecretaryMonday said:
I’m not sure if question #2 mean that you do not feel able to go to Confession because you depend on your parents for permission and transportation, or because you are not yet Confirmed. If it is the latter: Were you baptized Catholic? If so, you can go to Confession now. If you had been raised in the Church, you would probably have made your first Confession at the age of seven, before receiving First Holy Communion. Confirmation would have come later.
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Yes, I was baptized Catholic… I just feel the need for my parents’ permission. :o But you did clear up a few things for me, so thank you. 😃
 
jmcrae said:
The priest at your nearest Catholic Church will know. For teens, the process is a bit different depending on where you go, but your pastor (the priest of the parish nearest to your home) has a plan for you. Make an appointment with him to talk about it.
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Would I have to attend religion classes on Sunday, or is that different and/or not needed? A family friend teaches the class with kids of my age and she says most of the kids are rude and really don’t want to be there. And I don’t find that she teaches properly; all they do is play games in hopes of learning something from it. Add my social anxiety to that scenario, and you’ve got a bad time for me. So that’s something I really would not like to attend. 😊
 
I would like to thank all of you for your support and prayers. It has really encouraged me and I plan on talking to my parents (hopefully soon). 😃 We usually eat supper every night together and sort of have a “family meeting”, so I’ll have the chance to ask them then. I know a lot of people who are practicing Catholics (the majority of people where I live are Catholic) so I know I won’t be alone even if my parents aren’t completely on board. I’ve taken all of your replies into thought. God bless y’all. 🙂
 
EmmyYYZ said:
Would I have to attend religion classes on Sunday, or is that different and/or not needed? A family friend teaches the class with kids of my age and she says most of the kids are rude and really don’t want to be there. And I don’t find that she teaches properly; all they do is play games in hopes of learning something from it. Add my social anxiety to that scenario, and you’ve got a bad time for me. So that’s something I really would not like to attend. 😊
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What you have to do or don’t have to do will be up to the priest. He’ll tell you what you have to do, and then you’ll do it, and you’ll be just fine. He’ll never ask you to do anything that could harm you in any way.

It’s unfortunate that your friend complains about her students in front of you, and makes you feel like they are bad people that you don’t want to know. I am sure that in real life they are perfectly nice kids, probably very much like the kids you go to school with.

She probably also does a lot more than just play games with the kids; it’s more likely that she is asked to play more games than she thinks is good for the kids (and for some teachers, five minutes of games in a 90 minute lesson is “too much play time” so until you’ve actually been to the class, you don’t know. 😉
 
EmmyYYZ said:
Would I have to attend religion classes on Sunday, or is that different and/or not needed? A family friend teaches the class with kids of my age and she says most of the kids are rude and really don’t want to be there. And I don’t find that she teaches properly; all they do is play games in hopes of learning something from it. Add my social anxiety to that scenario, and you’ve got a bad time for me. So that’s something I really would not like to attend. 😊
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My family went to a church for a while (non-Catholic) with a teen class like this…one morning, class consisted of driving to the store to buy donuts and tinfoil so that we could make tinfoil swords to play with until our parents were ready to go. :banghead: :hypno:

You may be allowed to join the adult RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults). It is geared more towards non-Catholics seeking to understand and/or to enter the Church, but sometimes baptized Catholics are referred to this class as well if they are seeking their Confirmation but want to learn more.
 
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