Don't look at me

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Consider that people are admiring you–for caring enough about your appearance to dress well, for having good posture, for presenting a pleasant demeanor, and so on. Assume those you encounter are getting a little boost and thinking that “indeed there are nice, attractive, pleasant young people in the world”. That is my reaction when I see young adults who catch my eye–especially in this day and age when there is so much to criticize. So feel good that you are making people happy and they appreciate your effort to be a lovely young woman. I bet your parents and grandparents are proud of you! :blessyou:
 
Paris Blues:
I get quite annoyed when men just stare/look at me whether I’m walking across the parking lot to college or just sitting in the car, waiting for the light to change. Sure, I’m attractive yet TRY (I repeat, TRY) to dress modest because I am aware that even I could be causing other people to sin (then I would have just committed a sin) if I dress “inappropriate”.

Now if they look quickly and smile to be nice, I don’t mind that and I return a smile. Now, when they look, I take it that they think I’m an “object” and it bothers me. Some of you think I’m paranoid but you really don’t understand! First of all, I find it an “invasion” of me (some of you think I’m weird) and I strongly believe that women should be respected for their dignity as a woman and second of all, I really don’t want them to lust if they are really are looking at me that way. I don’t want to or mean to judge the look but I can’t help it. Sometimes I pray, Lord, don’t let them look and lust or should I say, I wish I was ugly?

Any suggestions? Should I wear a mask?
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I too am in no way trying to start anything. But, if you were ugly, we would be hearing how you wished you were beautiful. God created you the way that you are. Be flattered. You are beautiful!!! There are worse things in this world than to be looked upon by admirers!!! Keep your head up high and never be ashamed of God’s gift to you!!
 
The reality of life is, we can only control our own behavior, and not that of others. This is not always convenient.

There is a thread on these forums where a man is upset because a woman causes him to sin by the way she dresses. He finds her inconvenient behavior infringes upon him, as you find these mens’ behavior infringes on you.

Such is life.It is often not as we would have it.

If it is the looking that bothers you, I don’t know how you can stop it. If it is the seeing, then you could choose to cover yourself up more. But ultimately, I don’t see how you can control whether or not people choose to look at you.

I am a woman, sometimes I look at other people. usually it has nothing to do with sexual thoughts, but simply interest or curiousity. Sometimes I am admiring their clothing, hair, whatever, sometimes I am startled by their hair, clothing etc.
Sometimes I am thinking about something else entirely and don’t even realize my eyes are pointed in their direction, I’m actually “seeing” something in my head.

cheddar
 
Hi Paris, that sounds like a cross to me, made even bigger that when you try to explain it, it goes misunderstood. If they are going to look they are going to look, it might be lustful it might not be. So don’t make any quick judgements, and if you do creep into one, just give a prayer and forgive them.

Beauty can be a burden as much as being ugly. Even if you attract a lot of guys, you never know which ones are attracted only to your beauty and not you. I’m sure at times you like your beatuy cause you do attract people, which is something you don’t like either, since I’m sure you don’t want to feel your taking advantage of something so vain. So even if it seems silly to others, the best thing to do is to offer it up and and ask for the grace to try to remain humble.

Don’t forget that if God made you beatiful that is a gift. God gave you that for a reason, what I don’t know, you need to discern it. Though I can say it wasn’t their for you to use it for pride, but I’m sure you know that. Other than that I don’t have much to say, other than I’ll keep you in my prayers.
 
To the pure, all things are pure.

Guys look at you because they like to look at you. That is flattering. Don’t assume it’s lust (even though it might be). Deal with it as if it is pure. And if it bugs you, talk to them – unless you feel that this would be unsafe.

If you don’t want to talk to them, that’s fine, too.

It is a blessing to be desirable. (If you were Adam in the garden, could you have taken your eyes off Eve? Even if it made her embarrassed?)

The most beautiful women are ALWAYS the modest ones. The immodest ones may be sexy, but they are never beautiful.
 
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Pentecost2005:
Paris, you’re a drama queen. Please get over yourself.
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be nice!
 
Thanks guys for your advice…

I don’t want to be too crazy about this but I just believe strongly on dignity and all that.

The funny part is, when I was younger, I thought I was butt-ugly! LOL! Now that I’m older, it changed!

I think maybe if I stop wearing make up, that might make me “less attractive” and might cause less staring . :o
 
When I was young I got the stares, I just politely smile back and kept going, unfortunately its been years since I been stared at:crying: Oh well;)
 
Paris Blues:
Thanks guys for your advice…

I don’t want to be too crazy about this but I just believe strongly on dignity and all that.

The funny part is, when I was younger, I thought I was butt-ugly! LOL! Now that I’m older, it changed!

I think maybe if I stop wearing make up, that might make me “less attractive” and might cause less staring . :o
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My guess, Hon, is that they’re starin’ about 12 inches below your makeup!
 
Paris Blues:
Thanks guys for your advice…

I don’t want to be too crazy about this but I just believe strongly on dignity and all that.

The funny part is, when I was younger, I thought I was butt-ugly! LOL! Now that I’m older, it changed!

I think maybe if I stop wearing make up, that might make me “less attractive” and might cause less staring . :o
Click to expand...
I rarely wear make-up, and I only tend to wear stylish clothes when I’m out with my fiance. Sometimes I still get looks, but it does help.
Even if you started wearing a sackcloth, people would find something to stare at (if nothing else, the sackcloth itself). I literally wear 10-year-old clothes to work. Not clothes for 10 year olds, clothes that are ten years old. I STILL get comments from some nasty old men I have to work with.
I think I have a nice face, and I worked really hard to lose some weight. But you know what? Even when I was 50lbs heavier with acne, I still got indecent stares.
Just pray that your true inner beauty shines through to touch them in some way to change their lustful glances to a loving gaze with respect for your human dignity.
 
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