Doubt after conversion

[rabbysmom]

Hi,
I am a new convert as of this Easter Vigil. Not long after that I started questioning my decision. I have not been to mass that much at all. Besides my daughter who converted with me I am the only Catholic in my family and feel so alone. I am doubting a lot of doctrines like purgatory, Mary, birth control etc.

Here is the worst thing- I have gone to an Anglican church with my friend a couple of times and took communion there. My daughter has come once with me and took communion as well. I felt stupid just sitting it out so I didn’t. I’m assuming I need to go to confession? But if i am doubting so strongly, why would I even go? Would God really consider it a sin if my heart was in the right place?

I’m truly wondering why these issues did not come up for me in RCIA but they didn’t. Please help!

 

[brad90956]

I suggest you pose all these questions and thoughts to your parish priest. He is in the best position to help you.

 

[Irishmom2]

Why would you miss mass, but go with your friend to an Anglican Church?

I agree, you should make an appointment with your parish priest.

 

[e_c]

This is an understandable phenomenon… You have stepped into a new world and feel lost. This makes you a target for the Enemy… confusion is a powerful weapon.

Go over the reasons why you chose to come into the Church and feel free to continue to ask questions and learn. In the meantime defer to the Church’s authority.

Go to confession and explain everything you have said here in the context of that sacrament. Consider asking for a meeting outside of confession as well.

 

[Confiteor_Deo]

I agree with what the others said, you should make an appointment to speak with a priest and to confess to him any sins you’re guilty of. Stop going to the Protestant church and start going to Mass at least on Sundays & holy days.

 

[LiamQ]

I suggest you pose all these questions and thoughts to your parish priest. He is in the best position to help you.

I agree, but please don’t consider this as anyone here brushing you off, OP.

First of all, I absolutely encourage you to look through these tracts: catholic.com/tracts. Please don’t fall prey to this awful burden of having a doubt but yet not seeking out the answer. There are answers, and your doubts can be resolved in a reasonable manner.

Secondly, I’m very concerned that you’ve not been going to Holy Mass, and that you’ve not only gone to Protestant services, but that you’ve taken part in their communion. No one here can judge your subjective guilt for those things, but they are objectively very serious and need to be addressed. Please, please go to Confession. It is going to be impossible for you to truly cultivate faith if you are not in a state of grace.

Thirdly, yes, do consider setting up an appointment with your Priest. You need one-on-one help, and Father will be able to help with some of your problems whether they are intellectual in nature, or whether you’re just feeling lonely and isolated from other Catholics. Reach out! Don’t let satan devastate you and make shipwreck of your faith. Stand up and fight him with the tremendous, tremendous graces that are awaiting you in the Sacraments.

 

[rabbysmom]

Why would you miss mass, but go with your friend to an Anglican Church?

Good question. With all of this doubt I started doubting my faith in general, not just the Catholic Church. So I would say it was an experiment- trying to figure out if the issue is mainly faith or just the Catholic Church. Turns out it mainly seems like my hang up is some issues with the Church. It all just seems so complicated vs. the simplicity of the protestant church.
I honestly am thinking of going through RCIA again at a different church- it seems to be much more detailed than the one I went through which was, frankly, lacking

 

[Irishmom2]

I think that would be an excellent idea. It is troubling that you may have doubts because things were not properly taught to you, which could be the case.

But honestly, you should still try and get to mass and stay away from the other churches. The other churches seem simple because they are. In some cases, they have no doctrine, no reason for doing anything. They think reading the bible and singing hymns are all that are required…

 

[thecolorsblend]

Besides my daughter who converted with me I am the only Catholic in my family and feel so alone.

I know exactly how you feel. I’m one of only two Catholics in my entire family. The other is an aunt that I don’t see too often. It’s easy to feel alone. Because we ARE alone.

Except we’re not. We have a family now in the Church. Don’t give in to despair. I’m sure your parish has activities which you can join in on. Have you tried that?

I am doubting a lot of doctrines like purgatory, Mary, birth control etc.

What are you concerns with those things specifically?

Here is the worst thing- I have gone to an Anglican church with my friend a couple of times and took communion there. My daughter has come once with me and took communion as well. I felt stupid just sitting it out so I didn’t.

I’m assuming I need to go to confession? But if i am doubting so strongly, why would I even go? Would God really consider it a sin if my heart was in the right place?

Your Confessor could probably answer that better but you received Communion at a non-Catholic congregation and it sounds like you’ve missed Mass a fair bit. Not to sound mean but you’ll need to get that stuff fixed up as quick as you can.

I’m truly wondering why these issues did not come up for me in RCIA but they didn’t. Please help!

I sponsored someone through RCIA and he was welcomed into the Church this past Easter. What I like about how RCIA is done in the Church these days is how it really strives to inform converts of what they’re signing up for.

What I don’t like about it though is how it gives converts so much to do that after a while they maybe start thinking of the process as a series of hurdles instead of a spiritual journey. They possibly get tunnel vision and instead of lingering on things that deserve their consideration, they rush through stuff to move on to whatever comes next.

In the case of the guy I sponsored, he’s got what it takes. I have every reason to believe he’ll be a faithful Catholic. He’d been attending Mass for something like ten years so he knows who the Church is and what she teaches.

But there’s an argument that the modern RCIA process maybe overloads people with Rites and Initiations and all this other stuff that they lose sight on fundamentals.

I’m not saying that happened in your case. I’m just saying it’s possible.

Luckily the Church has been comforting people with doubts for centuries. You’re not the first and you won’t be the last. Your pastor should be able to help you with this. I recommend contacting him.

 

[Monica4316]

Hi,
I am a new convert as of this Easter Vigil. Not long after that I started questioning my decision. I have not been to mass that much at all. Besides my daughter who converted with me I am the only Catholic in my family and feel so alone. I am doubting a lot of doctrines like purgatory, Mary, birth control etc.

Here is the worst thing- I have gone to an Anglican church with my friend a couple of times and took communion there. My daughter has come once with me and took communion as well. I felt stupid just sitting it out so I didn’t. I’m assuming I need to go to confession? But if i am doubting so strongly, why would I even go? Would God really consider it a sin if my heart was in the right place?

I’m truly wondering why these issues did not come up for me in RCIA but they didn’t. Please help!

I’m sorry you’re going through so many doubts… I recommend going to Mass anyway. Don’t go to another church or have Communion there (and yes, I’d confess that). It’s not “hypocritical” to go to Mass despite having doubts, because doubts are in the will, not in feelings. If you don’t consent, you are NOT doubting. Even if you are consenting now, but still go to Mass, you’re giving your faith a chance and turning to God.
I think it’s important to not rely on feelings. I know in our world we are taught to be “true to who we are”, and then this is connected to how we feel. But even if we feel something, if it’s not from God, we do sin in accepting it. Try to trust the Church. Go back to what drew you to Catholicism. Try to pray, go to Mass, Adoration, - regardless of how you feel, just to give God a chance to work in you and give you graces. Pray to Our Lady, like the Rosary, even a decade at a time. You don’t know what would happen =) don’t feel like if you have doubts now, you’ll always have them. God can change that, but it’s important to give Him a chance… remember it’s all about the will. God bless you!

 

[rabbysmom]

Thank you all so much for your thoughtful replies. I have decided that I am going to confession on Saturday. I was drawn to the Church for a reason and I can’t let my doubts get in the way of God’s plan for myself and my daughter. Yes, I have made mistakes- big ones- since my conversion but I know that going to confession is the right thing to do. Am I correct in believing that once I confess it is like a clean slate and I can receive the Eucharist again?

 

[AKDee]

Am I correct in believing that once I confess it is like a clean slate and I can receive the Eucharist again?

YES.

As a fellow convert, understand that our doubts can be given to us by the evil one. He doesn’t want people following the true faith.

 

[rabbysmom]

Thank you so much! I am eager to go to confession tomorrow afternoon and get things right. This will only be my second confession ever, the first being before I entered the church. I’m a little nervous but know it is the right thing to do.

 

[AKDee]

Thank you so much! I am eager to go to confession tomorrow afternoon and get things right. This will only be my second confession ever, the first being before I entered the church. I’m a little nervous but know it is the right thing to do.

I’m always nervous and sad before (sad about my sin) but feel like I’m walking on air after because I am free of the burden of my sin! May God bless you with that same freedom tomorrow!