Doubtful mortal sins and confession

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LaughingBoy1503

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I am a convert from Protestantism. I was Baptized at this past Easter Vigil, so the sacrament of confession and examination of conscience is still a little new to me. Seems every few weeks or so I get worried I entertained a impure thought. I fight them everyday, but every once in awhile (yeah, like maybe 3 or 4 times in the last 4 months) I feel I might have entertained them for a couple seconds. Im never really %100 sure though. The last time this happened (about two months ago) I felt tormented for about 5 days trying to decide if It was a mortal sin or not. I decided it was not and just went on receiving communion. But sometimes I would wonder if I could be wrong about it and it really bothered me until I confessed. So the next time I had a doubtful sin, I stopped trying to decide if it was mortal or not, and just told myself to abstain from the Eucharist until I confessed it as a doubtful mortal sin.

I felt a lot more at peace when I stopped trying to debate myself if I was in a state or mortal sin or not. Now it has all happened again and I spent half the day debating if I was in a mortal sin or not. I, not to long ago, just told myself that I will abstain and confess it anyway. I felt peace again. Until I get a spiritual director (I know I am a bit scrupulous, but I am still learning things) do you think there is any flaws with my new approach to confessing mortal sins that I am unsure about?
 
LaughingBoy1503 said:
I am a convert from Protestantism. I was Baptized at this past Easter Vigil, so the sacrament of confession and examination of conscience is still a little new to me. Seems every few weeks or so I get worried I entertained a impure thought. I fight them everyday, but every once in awhile (yeah, like maybe 3 or 4 times in the last 4 months) I feel I might have entertained them for a couple seconds. Im never really %100 sure though. The last time this happened (about two months ago) I felt tormented for about 5 days trying to decide if It was a mortal sin or not. I decided it was not and just went on receiving communion. But sometimes I would wonder if I could be wrong about it and it really bothered me until I confessed. So the next time I had a doubtful sin, I stopped trying to decide if it was mortal or not, and just told myself to abstain from the Eucharist until I confessed it as a doubtful mortal sin.

I felt a lot more at peace when I stopped trying to debate myself if I was in a state or mortal sin or not. Now it has all happened again and I spent half the day debating if I was in a mortal sin or not. I, not to long ago, just told myself that I will abstain and confess it anyway. I felt peace again. Until I get a spiritual director (I know I am a bit scrupulous, but I am still learning things) do you think there is any flaws with my new approach to confessing mortal sins that I am unsure about?
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Don’t beat yourself up over it. Go ahead and confess it if it bothers you. There is nothing at all wrong with confessing a venial sin that particularly troubled you. Many people routinely confess such thing including flaws of character and a lack of charity towards others. Pope John Paul II normally confessed twice a week for up to two hours a confession. I sincerely doubt that all of the sins he confessed were mortal sins.

Confession is good for you.👍
 
A mortal sin is something that is deliberate and done with full knowledge. A fleeting thought of something sexual is not usually deliberate. If all it was was a fleeting thought, it was not a mortal sin.
 
RedSparklyShoes said:
A mortal sin is something that is deliberate and done with full knowledge. A fleeting thought of something sexual is not usually deliberate. If all it was was a fleeting thought, it was not a mortal sin.
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I know that, but it is still hard for me to differentiate between a fleeting thought that wont go away after the first or second time I try to dismiss it and something I am somewhat choosing to think about. I have faith it will not be like this for me forever though, that is what is the upside about it all. I try to use everything as a learning experience 🙂
 
LaughingBoy1503 said:
I know that, but it is still hard for me to differentiate between a fleeting thought that wont go away after the first or second time I try to dismiss it and something I am somewhat choosing to think about. I have faith it will not be like this for me forever though, that is what is the upside about it all. I try to use everything as a learning experience 🙂
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What you described above sounds like they are venial sins at worst.
 
LaughingBoy1503 said:
Yeah, they do. I agree. See how messed up I am? :o I went to confession today though. I feel better.
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A hatred of sin is not messed up, although scruples are not a trial I’d wish on anyone. Do not punish yourself for wanting to do the right thing, but when you find you are punishing yourself wrongly, show yourself the kind of mercy you’d show anyone else, OK? Correct yourself and point yourself right, that’s all. Accusations that go on after repentance are temptations for the righteous that are dangled by the evil one…“If this man were a prophet, he would know who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, that she is a sinner.” Luke 7:39
 
LaughingBoy1503 said:
Yeah, they do. I agree. See how messed up I am? :o I went to confession today though. I feel better.
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Frequent confession is a great thing, but make sure you mention to your confessor that you struggle with scrupulosity, and that it would be helpful for you if he would help you some in this area. It would also be good if you found a priest you were comfortable with, and try to make your confessions with him, so that he can gain an understanding of the trials you endure and better conform the confession and penance proper for you.

🙂
God bless!
 
My advice for you is when in doubt, just confess it. There is no harm in confessing a possible mortal sin even if it turns out to just be venial. Trust me, you will feel so much better. If it really bothers you, let it out. Hope this helps! 🙂
 
I would say that if the thought just pops into your mind, and you take a second or two to realize you should not be thinking it, and you stop, then it is a venial sin at worst. If the thought pops into your head and you choose to dwell on it knowing you shouldn’t, or else you choose to purposefully begin thinking about it and dwell on it, that would be mortal.

Sometimes it takes effort to fight the temptation to dwell on this kind of thought, or it recurs a short time later. Look to a statue or picture of the Blessed Virgin to counter the visuals in your mind, and pray the Hail Mary 3 times. If necessary, keep praying the Hail Mary until your mind is at peace again. Train yourself to begin praying the Hail Mary when thoughts like this first arrive and you will learn not to dwell on them.

Sexuality is part of being human, and sometimes the fire burns brighter than we’d like. But it can be doused through prayer and a greater level of self-mastery achieved in the process.

God Bless!
 
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