Doubtful Sacrilege

[Butaperson]

So I posted last night about my issues with getting to confession, and the unanimous answer was “Get a spiritual director”. Which, I’ve accepted, there’s no getting around that. I need to do it.
But getting in touch with a priest can take time and I really need to get to confession soon.

My main issue is that I’m afraid I’ve invalidated my confessions. I don’t know that I have invalidated anything with real certainty. In the past, my coping mechanism with this problem has been “go to confession and then forget everything that just happened”, which has worked to an extent - I don’t remember a whole lot about my past confessions because immediately after exiting the confessional I refuse to let myself think about it at all. But I do remember being afraid that I invalidated my confession(s), just not exactly why, or how founded that fear ever really was. It’s kind of a complicated situation, which obviously is why I need to talk to a priest and explain it fully and probably engage in a dialogue. But again, that can take time. And I don’t want to wait.

So I would classify this invalidation as “doubtful”. Now, I don’t know exactly how this works. If this were any other sin, I probably wouldn’t confess it or worry about it because I’m trying to leave doubtful sins out of my confessions. If this were, say, gossip. And I had vague memories of saying negative things about other people, but I couldn’t remember what I said, or how bad it was, or if there was a justification behind it (or if that justification was a valid reason, or mere rationalizing), that would be doubtful right? But gossip is just a normal sin. This is sacrilege. I possibly committed invalidated a holy sacrament, and I don’t know if the same principles of “doubtful? don’t worry about it” apply in this situation.

I was lowkey planning on going to confession tomorrow, but I wanted some advice on whether I should wait to hear was a priest has to say, or just go do it asap and hope I’m not digging this pit even deeper.

 

[Petaro]

For Heavens sake take a hold of yourself and give yourself a good shake. You sound, from your post, to have the possibility of a scrupulous nature. This can be a nightmare for any good person always seeking for perfection in a mire of self doubt. You are worth more than you give yourself credit and the best advice has already been given, find an understanding priest who has experience of this issue.
Don’t rethink every experience. Put it behind you relying entirely on the Mercy of God. Get to confession as it has graces that we all need but never fully understand.

 

[Ricky_C]

If I’m ever confused about whether or not something is a mortal sin in need of confession, I ask the priest in the confessional, during Confession. For me personally, it’s the only time I ever talk to the priests at my parish, and it resolves the problem easily.

If the sin isn’t in need of confession, he’ll tell me that, and I’ll move on; if it is in need of confession, he’ll tell me that, it will have already been confessed, and I’ll move on. If you talk to your priest about this in the confessional, then any of the sins you’ve stated that are in need of confession will have been confessed, and you’ll be absolved through the authority given to the priest through Jesus Christ.

And if for any reason your priest tells you that none of it warrants a confession, then it’s all good, and you weren’t at confession for no reason; I’ve had the priest not assign me penance because of that before, and it all turns out okay.

I’d suggest also making clear your need for a spiritual director for your scrupulosity then; it handles multiple issues at one time. Regardless of when you do that, just make sure that at some point you talk to your priest about the spiritual director problem.

Best of luck with sorting this all out, and God bless you!

 

[Don_Ruggero]

There are two points, if I may be direct. First is that you could benefit from spiritual direction/pastoral counseling and I would urge you to do so. Secondly:

Simply stated, if you are doubtful, then you have not made an invalid confession. From what I can read, it actually sounds as though your concern is with a lack of thoroughness as opposed to having willfully misled the confessor.

Your coping mechanism in the past was quite sound. Once we have gone to confession, told our sins, and been absolved, then there is no need to revisit the confessed sins…they are forgiven.

As for going to confession now as opposed to meeting with a priest outside of confession, you really need not make this as ponderous as you are making it. Confessors are very accustomed to having penitents ask questions or present a matter of doubt for assistance; that is one of the reasons we are trained in moral theology and the matters can usually be resolved very quickly, actually.

For the past confessions, since you don’t remember and have such doubts, it is enough to resolve it all by saying: “Father, I fear that in previous confessions, I have not confessed as properly as I should have or might have. The matters are no longer remembered but the fear of not having properly confessed is there and I bring it to this sacrament”. In few words, you have covered the matter for absolution (which should close this line of thinking and forever resolve the concern, by the way) but you have also indicated to the priest that you are in a spiritual torment and he should be able to help with this issue with some pastoral advice.

Also, with this matter of “sacrilege” involving another sacrament that you raise, this is not a suitable forum for discussing such matters in any depth. Therefore, I would advise you to just say, simply and directly, what this concerns to the confessor and abide by his judgment. It does not require a major exposition on your part nor prolonged discussion on his. We classically said, when it comes to confession, “species and number”…meaning name the sin and tell how many times you committed it, if it was a serious sin. The confessor validly absolves without needing to know every minor nuance and detail.

You are in my prayers.

 

[Beryllos]

The issue seems to be that you think you “invalidated” your reconciliation. I want you to think for a moment (and maybe discuss it with the priest or spiritual director) and ask whether it is even in your power to invalidate it. I assume you were contrite and made a sincere confession. When the priest pronounced the words of absolution, he was God’s instrument. As we say, he was acting in the person of Christ. Your sins are forgiven by none other than Jesus Christ. How could you possibly interfere with that? God’s love and mercy are stronger than your faults and failings. Recognize it. Accept it. Give praise and thanks to God!

 

[frangiuliano115]

For Heavens sake take a hold of yourself and give yourself a good shake. You sound, from your post, to have the possibility of a scrupulous nature. This can be a nightmare for any good person always seeking for perfection in a mire of self doubt. You are worth more than you give yourself credit and the best advice has already been given, find an understanding priest who has experience of this issue.
Don’t rethink every experience. Put it behind you relying entirely on the Mercy of God. Get to confession as it has graces that we all need but never fully understand.

I hope the OP listens to you.

This is the second post I’ve read from you from different threads and I do believe you and I could agree on much!

Sometimes we worry more about our sins than on just serving the Lord. If I’m not mistaken, He died to redeem us from our Sin and sins and we should feel His joy in our lives. Instead of worrying all the time that we’ve sinned.

When a mortal sin has been commited, I do believe we’ll know it!

Let’s keep our eyes on Jesus!

God bless you
Fran