Doubts about mortal sin and communion - was I right to receive?

[Xandria]

If you worry that you might have committed a mortal sin and after much discernment and prayer you judged that yes, you did sin venially and it wasn’t good or even slight but it was in all likelihood not a mortal sin because at the time you did not fully realize it and sort of slithered into it instead of making a deliberate decision, it is alright to receive communion, right?

I’m asking because I do have problems with scruples and have the biggest trouble in knowing if something was a mortal sin or not. I stayed up until dawn last night to read, study, decide, and pray if I was able to receive communion this morning and I did with being about 90% sure that I had not sinned mortally. For a few minutes after communion I actually felt peace for the first time since that sin occured and took it for a good sign. But now I’m feeling unrest again and wonder if I did a mistake. It was so important to me to go to communion today and not wait until I was able to go to confession almost a week later because I know from experience that if I skip I will not only feel horrible all week but will actually fall down further into sin.

I guess maybe I’m so nervous because I have only been a Catholic for a year and whenever I had the slightest doubt about being in mortal sin I did not got to communion. But this time I sat down, studied and tried to discern in all honesty about the state of my soul after one particular sin and I’m hesitant to trust my judgement although I still think that I probably did not commit a mortal sin. I just can’t shake this unrest.

I am definitely going to confession on Saturday and will tell the priest like I told you but until then I need some peace of mind.

 

[Redratfish]

If you worry that you might have committed a mortal sin and after much discernment and prayer you judged that yes, you did sin venially and it wasn’t good or even slight but it was in all likelihood not a mortal sin because at the time you did not fully realize it and sort of slithered into it instead of making a deliberate decision, it is alright to receive communion, right?

I’m asking because I do have problems with scruples and have the biggest trouble in knowing if something was a mortal sin or not. I stayed up until dawn last night to read, study, decide, and pray if I was able to receive communion this morning and I did with being about 90% sure that I had not sinned mortally. For a few minutes after communion I actually felt peace for the first time since that sin occured and took it for a good sign. But now I’m feeling unrest again and wonder if I did a mistake. It was so important to me to go to communion today and not wait until I was able to go to confession almost a week later because I know from experience that if I skip I will not only feel horrible all week but will actually fall down further into sin.

I guess maybe I’m so nervous because I have only been a Catholic for a year and whenever I had the slightest doubt about being in mortal sin I did not got to communion. But this time I sat down, studied and tried to discern in all honesty about the state of my soul after one particular sin and I’m hesitant to trust my judgement although I still think that I probably did not commit a mortal sin. I just can’t shake this unrest.

I am definitely going to confession on Saturday and will tell the priest like I told you but until then I need some peace of mind.

I believe that since you didn’t know if it was seriously wrong, then the other two requirements for a sin to be mortal do not apply. Therefore it would be venial, and you are ok. However, in the future, if you are unsure if you are able to or not, it is better to simply either receive a blessing, or stay in the pew. Why risk your soul if you are not sure?

Since you are going to confession, you might want to bring it up still, just to be certain, and to see what your priest says.

 

[Bookcat]

It is important for you to have a regular confessor and get guidance from him and perhaps some principles to follow in regards to your scruples…

As to Communion: we examine ourselves (one should do so though not in a scrupulous way) --am I conscious of committing a mortal sin? This is one of the requirements of receiving Holy Communion that we are not *conscious *of having committed a mortal sin.

Now I am not you so I can not know all that went on in your making your judgment to receive…but did you judge that you were not conscious of mortal sin and that you could thus receive…but then …only later have some fear or scruple about it after you received? (due to your difficulty with scruples that you note above) Or something else?

Ask yourself that …such may help your thinking about things here…

and get a regular confessor if you do not have one…

 

[Bookcat]

However, in the future, if you are unsure if you are able to or not, it is better to simply either receive a blessing, or stay in the pew. Why risk your soul if you are not sure?

Rather I would say …he should ask his regular confessor how to proceed in the future…for in his (or her) case they are struggling with scruples and such can unreasonably keep them from Holy Communion due to the scruples …they should ask their confessor what they should do when confronted with similar situations.

(PS I do not think one ought actually “go for a blessing”…such is not part of the rite per se)

 

[Xandria]

Thanks for your help. Like I said I was not a 100% but pretty sure that I had not sinned mortally. I really did not make it easy on myself and came to the conclusion that I since in all probability it was only a venial sin I could go to communion. I read several old threads on this forum and also this article:

mission.liguori.org/newsletters/pdf_archive/november2005sa_web.pdf

There I found statements like these:

“The knowledge that the matter is serious must be present before the sin is committed. This knowledge is not something you wonder about after the fact. If you know the matter is
serious, you will remember that. Thinking that you might have known is not sufficient. Mortal sin is always a clear and certain choice. Your knowledge that the matter is grave matter is also clear and certain. If you have any doubts that you knew about the seriousness of the matter, then you must judge that you did not know it was a serious matter.”

“A person who consents to mortal sin is never unsure of the consent. If you need another person to help you figure out if your consent was full, then you have to judge that it was not, because full consent does not leave room for any doubts.”

“Mortal sins take thought and planning. They are a true desire to rebel against God.
The Church tells us about the significant things of life and calls them grave or serious matter. The elements of grave matter and knowledge that the matter is serious are still a long way from mortal sin. The issue of one’s will is what makes the difference. God, in his great love for us, went to a lot of trouble to save us from hell. We will never deserve heaven, so that is God’s free gift to us. While we might frequently commit venial sins,
committing the mortal sins that will keep us from heaven takes planning and thought. Full consent of the will for evil takes a lot of trouble.”

Based on this article and a lot of old threads I decided that the sin I committed was probably not mortal. And since I truly did not think that it was a mortal sin (despite not being 100% sure) I gathered from what I have learned that it could not be mortal because then I would not be so doubtful regarding the nature of the sin, especially because I definitely tended to think it was venial. I think that the few percent I was not exactly sure on are there because of the scruples.

If I really did received Our Lord unworthily today (and I still think I probably didn’t) then it did not happen because I did not care enough and just went ahead and disregarded church teaching on receiving communion. I really did my best to understand and discern and hope I did not err in my judgement.

 

[Xandria]

If you need another person to help you figure out if your consent was full, then you have to judge that it was not, because full consent does not leave room for any doubts."

This is kind if ironic since that is exactly what I’m doing here.

 

[Bookcat]

While there may be some aspects of the article I would edit (such as “it takes thought and planning” to commit a mortal sin…though he was seeking I think to point out that one needs to have the needed knowledge and consent…such wording could be taken to mean that one can not be tempted out of the blue and then give complete consent with full knowledge…but we call can fall short in trying to explain things)…(and there need not be a desire to rebel against God…such need never enter ones mind…though such can be)

My desire to edit the article does not though figure into your earlier judgment to receive or not to receive.

Without taking all you wrote blow by blow…it would seem that you (after all your research) made a judgment that you had not committed a mortal sin and could receive…and so did so…and then later worried after the fact. Correct? So it would seem that you were acting “in good conscience” at the time and were* later* bothered by worries…etc

And yes those who have a tender conscience or who are scrupulous or tend to such…will generally be very aware of committing a mortal sin…

 

[Xandria]

it would seem that you (after all your research) made a judgment that you had not committed a mortal sin and could receive…and so did so…and then later worried after the fact. Correct? So it would seem that you were acting “in good conscience” at the time and were* later* bothered by worries…etc

And yes those who have a tender conscience or who are scrupulous or tend to such…will generally be very aware of committing a mortal sin…

Yes, I believe that the phrase that I was acting “in good conscience” is a good and accurate one. I did worry also a bit beforehand but I was pretty sure that I made the right decision and rather think that this worry was/is a product of my scruples. During communion and for a little while after I felt peace and was sure, then the worry started again.

I forgot to mention that I also made an Act of Contrition before.

Thank you so much for all your help. I will really try not to drive myself crazy and wait until Saturday when I can go to confession. There is nothing I can do now and I’m pretty sure I was doing the right thing, despite my ongoing worry and unrest.

 

[Joan1969]

… I stayed up until dawn last night to read, study, decide, and pray if I was able to receive communion this morning and I did with being about 90% sure that I had not sinned mortally. For a few minutes after communion I actually felt peace for the first time since that sin occured and took it for a good sign. But now I’m feeling unrest again and wonder if I did a mistake…

Hi Xandria,

Just from reading this, I would say you are really getting yourself seriously stressed over this situation (staying up until dawn? Still only 90% sure?), and you need to keep in close touch with a confessor at least, if not a counselor, to bring your scruples in check.

I don’t see how someone can live a normal life with the typical number of responsibilties that most adults must take on, and still take time and effort to worry about sin, confession and worthiness to receive communion to this degree. Assuming you are still young, you might find this pattern affecting both your mood and your health more severely as time goes by. We really do need to be at peace about our lives and our behavior most of the time, in order to live well.

Give a priority to getting the help you need, and remember to trust your judgement since you obviously care a great deal about not offending God or receiving an unworthy Communion so you are anything but lax. If there is a specific habit that is causing a regular problem, then you can still make a good judgement about when it’s time to go to confession without excess stress.

I pray God blesses you with everything you need for personal peace in short order.

Joan