Doubts about my first confession

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I am an RCIA candidate who just had my first confession. The problem is that I’m left feeling a little bewildered because it seems as though I didn’t actually confess anything. I had prepared a rather exhaustive examination of conscience using an online guide (A Good Catholic Examination of Conscience) and was prepared to read my list of sins, but the priest wasn’t even interested in hearing them. He mostly asked me questions regarding my relationship with God and, to a lesser extent, with myself and others, and he said that the specific sins were basically “byproducts” of my failure to obey the Greatest Commandment (i.e. to love God with all my heart, soul, and mind and to love my neighbor as myself), and so we didn’t really need to cover those. He told me to focus on that commandment since the rest all stems from that and that in future I can confess any specific sins that I continue to commit to my spiritual director. I then performed the act of contrition, and he gave absolution and a (surprisingly small) penance. But I left feeling rather cheated that I didn’t get to confess my specific sins, especially since I had been agonizing for weeks about how to confess a whole lifetime of sin, and I really wanted to mention the sins that I struggle with the most. I know I shouldn’t second guess God’s mercy, but was my confession even valid? I’m trying to console myself with the fact that I didn’t intentionally withhold anything or try to deceive the priest. Please help!
 
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Your confession was fine and your sins were forgiven. The list you made was probably beneficial to you in seeing where you’re weakest and need the most help. Pay attention to the advice your priest gave you. Trust him to know what he’s doing and trust in God’s mercy in the sacrament. Now that you’ve made your first confession, the sacrament is open to you whenever you like.
 
Welcome to the club. Yep, we desperately seek out different guides and advice for this first confession, then it all breaks down in the confessional. I still have my doubts and it’s been 4 years. No answers. Been reluctant to try again. No spiritual guidance. Must find a holy priest first.
 
Spiritual guidance is not something that we should expect at Confession. If the priest offers it then that is good, but it isn’t necessary for the sacrament. In Confession all our sins are washed away by God, is that not enough?

It doesn’t matter how holy the individual priest is, our sons are washed away regardless. And we should not automatically expect spiritual direction, Confession and spiritual direction are different things.

Our sins are washed away, we should rejoice and be glad.
 
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I meant spiritual guidance as to questions that arise like, why didn’t you let me finish my first confession? Or why is there never a priest in the confessional before mass, after mass? One is simply left with questions, for years, and no answers. Yes, I have tried to make appointmemts. Busy priests.
 
If the priest interupts you and gives absolution before you have confessed all your sins then all the sins you intended to confess are forgiven and you have been washed clean.

Most parishes have a regular weekly Confession time, and if they don’t then go to Confession in another parish. It doesn’t matter where you go to Confession or who the priest is.
 
Welcome home! Let the Priest guide your confessions and judge what is appropriate.
 
Whenever Satan feels you stepping closer to God; he tries to tempt you into taking a step back. Go in peace of mind, you took a great step forward.
 
I’ve been following some threads here by others who were or are about to make their first confession. Many of them were worried that they might forget something. Some commenters replied that if they later remembered something that they forgot, they could just confess it next time. In my case, I was able to confess hardly ANYTHING that I had prepared to confess. I can accept that I have been absolved of my sins and that my confession was valid, but do I have a duty to confess these sins later, or do I have a totally clean slate? In other words, would I only have to confess sins committed after my first confession today? I know I’m risking falling into the trap of scrupulosity, but this is really causing me some anxiety, which is the opposite of what I expected to feel today. I thought I would feel relieved–as if a heaven burden had been lifted from my shoulders. Instead, I’m full of doubt, confusion, and worry. I feel as though I’ve failed. 😦
 
A reason we confess our sins to a priest is not only to ask for giveness from God, but as to show humility. Its an embarassing experience but also liberating; to tell another person our most humiliating flaws in judgement. Many others forget sins they committed and bring them up at their next confession. Do whatever clears your conscience. God reads our heart and intentions. There is nothing hidden in his eyes and if you went there with deliberate intention to confess all your sins then he knows that. Like I said do whatever gives you peace of mind. Satan wants you to feel as if you aren’t moving forward when really you are. It’s a good sign that your moving towards the right path when he wants to tighten his grasp. Your confession was valid, but never hesitate to interrupt or ask questions during confession. Your peace of mind is a very important aspect in following the path of Jesus Christ. You’re doing a good job brother.
 
If you had mortal sins to confess, he certainly should not have stopped you from saying them.

Since you did not mean to do anything wrong, your confession was valid and your sins forgiven. However, if had mortal sins that you were not able to confess, you should mention them at your next confession.
 
Well, now I’m starting to get really annoyed. This priest basically messed up my first confession then. So my next confession will be FAR more detailed than my first confession (yes, I had mortal sins to confess). The priest I confessed to is a CANON LAWYER. He should have known all that. And now I have to find a priest who is available during Holy Week to set aside time for me so that I can receive my first communion on Saturday in good conscience? Wonderful!
 
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Kurt, what you’re feeling now is not coming from God. Please be at peace with your confession and know that you did your best to confess your sins and they have ALL been forgiven.

The whole point of this sacrament is to experience God’s mercy and love. Don’t allow the evil one to take that away from you.
 
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You’re right. But do I really have to confess everything that I had intended to confess during my next reconciliation? I just want a straight answer on that. If I’m truly forgiven, why do I have to bring up water under the bridge, so to speak? And if it’s the case that I still have to confess these things, why would the priest not let me confess them the first time? Again, he’s a canon lawyer, so he should know the rules like the back of his hand. He knew that I’m an RCIA candidate and that I am to be received into the church this Saturday. He knew that it was my first confession and that I had a lot to say (I actually showed the notes I had made). I just can’t help but feel cheated now. 😫
 
Kurt your confession was valid but if you want to go to confession again that would be okay. Don’t show your list just say the kind of sin and the number of times. Example…I spoke the Lord’s name in vain twice, ten or many times. If the priest wants more info he will ask you. God Bless and welcome Home!
 
I don’t really want to go to confession again. My question is: should I go again before taking my first communion this Saturday? And since it’s my first confession, and I’m 33 and was an atheist for most of my adult life, I can’t really remember the number of times I’ve taken the Lord’s name in vain (the same goes for many other sins), so I was planning to say “many times” or “more times than I can count.”
 
Thanks for sharing your experience with your first confession. I am sorry you felt cheated. If you have specific things you struggle with and do have a spiritual director perhaps you could share that information with him and discuss it. That might help alleviate your bewilderment.

I realy think that the priest provided some excellent thoughts about the Greatest Commandment that I myself can take to heart and reflect upon . That’s what I enjoy about this forum, we can share experience and advice given to someone here they share can help others.

Welcome Home and God bless.

Mary
 
Thank you, Mary. Yes, I agree that what he said is very true. And he also mentioned that if there are specific sins that I continue to struggle with, I should bring them up with my spiritual director (and yes, I do have one–I wish I could have made my first confession with him, but he was unavailable).
 
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