This is going to hurt me severely, but I must speak it to someone.
There’s this individual, named William, who is married to Janete. First off, I will say, Janete is a beautiful woman, heart AND soul! Very sweet, very humble. Very caring. But sometimes Will doesn’t know what has happened or if he is even loved or taken advantaged of (well deep down he knows she loves him, that seems evident in her eyes and how she always wants to cuddle him). They have similar likes (animals, going to interesting movies, fantasy, walks, swiming, video games
)and used to do everything together, especially Mass. Her love of God is what orginially attracted him to her. In fact Janete was the reason William looked into Catholicism, at the time he was Protestant, thought Catholicism silly, but investegated it because of her and found it so inspiring, eventually leaving his own Church and coming to the Catholic Church, and they married.
But the last few years Will’s body and heart is overwhelmed. It seems Jan has . . . shut off from doing anything. With all the animals they have, Will only ever wanted his two dogs, and takes care of them, always has. The rest of the animals Janete wanted and promised to take care of them. She doesn’t, not a one! Every once in a while she might feed them, or take them potty, but 98% it’s always Will. Sometimes Janete openely refuses to do ANYTHING for them, cause she just doesn’t “feel like it.” So now it’s ALL laid on Will, everyday.
He gets up for a 9 hour day of labor work, does his chores in the morning, goes to work, comes home, does more chores and has to make supper, while she is playing on the computer. Now Will doesn’t really care about the supper thing so much, he’s never been as “make my supper woman!” lol, HE is the one who normally cooks, but his work hours changed, and he works late, and gets home late while she is already home, and there never is anything to eat. Sometimes she’ll make something, but again it’s about 2% of the time, and then other times she’ll make something for herself, and not for him. But whenever she is late, Will makes her dinner. Why? Cause he loves her and doesn’t want her to be hungry. He has to do the dishes, feed the animals, take out the garbage, burn the garbage, take out the compost garbage, vacuum, clean the cat litter box, mow the lawn, clean the rat cage. Sometimes he just never even bothers to eat supper and would go to bed sad and alone, while Janete is on the computer.
Her one and only chore, the laundry, has now slipped. William had enough of the mess and pile so he took everything to the laundry mat, and got EVERYTHING done! Thinking it might help her to now keep up. It hasn’t and now Will has been doing even that on a daily basis.
Janete is usually always on the computer communicating with her friends, while Will does everything else. She wonders why Will loves his dogs so much? Well, cause they look forward to seeing him everyday, and want to be with him, help I’m sure if they could. She never seems to want to lend even a pinky anymore, and at times Will has silently wept telling himself she doesn’t love him.
Will has brought this to her attention in the past, and Janete broke apart in tears. It crushed Will’s heart to see his wife cry cause of his words (and also, Will is NO angel, but that’s another matter). She admitted she has been lazy, and that she’ll try to do better. But never does. and if the subject is brought up again, Janete gets furious and wishes not to talk.
She also abandoned Church a while ago. Will began going to another Church because the memories of being at Mass with her, in that particular Church, were too hard, lonely. So he attended another Mass. Sadly, now even he hasn’t gone since the late fall, well except for one time last week, while down in Pennsylvania, and it felt good again. Will knows he must return, but right now he’s so overwhelmed, so lonely, so tired of everything it’s just too difficult to get the strength and will.
Will is even afraid to have children now, as it most likely will all be tossed on him. Even janete’s parents see this and feel sorry for Will, and are trying to make this all better. All Will ever wanted was a simple family, devoted to God, and if a member dosn’t want or believe in God, very well, then at least stick together as a family, work together as a community. Which is why I, or I mean Will, loved the Amish down in Lancaster, a simple family-life people, and the feast of food, is all it takes to make me happy. Not technologoy or the latest blue ray TV, Will can care less. Just . . . a loving family. But that’s not what is taking place.
Will silently cried coming back to NY, back to his old boring job where he gets picked on a lot (of course that’s because he’s humble, if he so chose, he could crush any of them, Will knows how to fight and protect himself, but he chooses not to and remains humble, as Christ most likely would want). But everything dark has again returned. No Amish riding around, no friendly people (even the non-Amish were awesome down there, and the Catholic Church was beautiful too). Back to his old OCD habits, thoughts, getting teased, getting no help, having no companion or ANYTHING! Will is just so tired of everything. He sometimes wonders if it would of been better if he would have joined a brotherhood like the Fransicians or something long ago, or live in a Christian community camp forever, instead of this dark emotional stressful life.
It would all be easier if Janete helped him as a wife, a companion, maybe even lessen his OCD, cause stress dramatically increases it. But everything is always the same. Will even mentioned moving there, to Lancaster, but oh no, Janete won’t have it.
William loves Janete with ALL HIS HEART. She is a beautiful caring person, Will just thinks the computer and her friends on it are occupying all her time, and it saddens him to no end. He always and endlessly feels . . . alone.
…Very well said indeed!
C’est la vie!