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Allegra
Guest
We don’t really spend a lot of time telling our children that they are “bad”. If they do something wrong, we require them to fix it. We give them gifts because we love them, not based on their level of cooperation.
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poche
Guest
I was told that Santa Claus kept a list of who was naughty and who was nice.
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on_the_hill
Guest
Think of how confused I was when my wife introduced me to Belsnickel Day.
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Allegra
Guest
Yeah, he’d be updating his subjective list every two seconds. He wouldn’t have time to make any toys. I also don’t want my kids to get the idea that those who get less at Christmas are somehow morally inferior children. It’s kind of important because they hang out with kids from all walks of life.
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Allegra
Guest
That WOULD be confusing.
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edward_george1
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edward_george1
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Peeps
Guest
Why not just say, “People in other lands celebrate this and that’s fun for them, but we in the U.S. do not celebrate this. We celebrate other ways.”
I had books about other cultures when I was growing up, and my mother tried a few of the ideas (e.g., pinata parties–she made one out of a newspaper and flour paste) , but we certainly didn’t try to incorporate all the celebrations of the world into our family life.
I had books about other cultures when I was growing up, and my mother tried a few of the ideas (e.g., pinata parties–she made one out of a newspaper and flour paste) , but we certainly didn’t try to incorporate all the celebrations of the world into our family life.
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Allegra
Guest
That’s more or less what I said, isn’t it? Although, I can’t really truthfully say that no family’s in the US celebrate in that way, because obviously some do.
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Peeps
Guest
Yes, that’s true. Every family comes up with their own celebration rituals, and that’s wonderful.
My point is that we shouldn’t feel obligated to run to the store and search for stuff to celebrate just because our children want it.
My point is that we shouldn’t feel obligated to run to the store and search for stuff to celebrate just because our children want it.
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Allegra
Guest
I don’t feel obligated. I feel pressured, and annoyed that the only aspect of Epiphany that PBS sees as worthy to teach to children is getting gifts.
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Peeps
Guest
No fun.
Maybe it’s time to watch DVDs for while?
Maybe it’s time to watch DVDs for while?
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Allegra
Guest
Christmas break is over, so they’re in school all day, so the PBS binge watching is at an end anyway.
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Peeps
Guest
Yay! Although I know it’s fun to have some time with the family during that break.
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poche
Guest
One of the children told me today that the three kings brought him cash last January 6. I asked if we could give them my address so that htey could pay me a visit.
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LittleFlower
Guest
This is a thread that is leaning towards a healthy vent. 
Sometimes it can get overwhelming with the cultural differences and opportunities provided to celebrate a liturgical life.
I’ve been reading the below book and must say it have grounded my flailing attempts to provide a cultural rhythm to our life.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Catholic-A...qid=1547456781&sr=8-1&keywords=kendra+tierney
I really enjoyed it, and also it allowed me to come to terms with the fact that things don’t need to be wow-zer to be enjoyable or liturgically relevant. For instance, St Nick’s day can just be one chocolate bar in the placed out shoes, and the Epiphany can be filled with King Cake, and the blessing of the house.
She has an active blog as well.
Most of the things that can be done don’t cost any or much money, below $10—which I know can break the bank for many, however then you can focus more on the blessing of the house, and other activities.
Sometimes it can get overwhelming with the cultural differences and opportunities provided to celebrate a liturgical life.I’ve been reading the below book and must say it have grounded my flailing attempts to provide a cultural rhythm to our life.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Catholic-A...qid=1547456781&sr=8-1&keywords=kendra+tierney
I really enjoyed it, and also it allowed me to come to terms with the fact that things don’t need to be wow-zer to be enjoyable or liturgically relevant. For instance, St Nick’s day can just be one chocolate bar in the placed out shoes, and the Epiphany can be filled with King Cake, and the blessing of the house.
She has an active blog as well.
Most of the things that can be done don’t cost any or much money, below $10—which I know can break the bank for many, however then you can focus more on the blessing of the house, and other activities.
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Peeps
Guest
Or…you could do what we did.
From the very beginning, we told our children, "On Christmas, we pretend that there’s a Santa Claus and it’s SOOO fun that even the grownups, not just the children, pretend that he lives at the North Pole and rides a sleigh through the sky, and has elves and reindeer, and brings presents…it’s the most fun pretend story of all and we do this in our family, too!
Same thing for Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, and any other childhood myths. It’s FUN to pretend! Actors make a living pretending!
We never said, “Santa exists,” except to explain (even as Protestants) that there was a saint named Nicholas who brought dowries to young women, and that’s where Santa Claus got started–people created a pretend “St. Nicholas” character to honor the real saint.
We did tell our children that some people really believe in Santa, especially some children, and so they need to be kind and not try to tell these people that Santa doesn’t exist. That’s not loving at all, it’s mean.
This worked out just fine for us. I am wise enough to know that little children do not always discern what is real and pretend, and I’m pretty certain that they believed in Santa with all their heart when they were little. But as they got older, they were used to hearing that Santa was pretend, so there was no big let-down when they got older. They started understanding what we were saying, and the joy over “pretending that there is a Santa” was and still is there!
BTW, my older daughter was obviously a “theater kid” growing up, and she has worked in the entertainment business all her life so far. She has a Master’s Degree in the field in which she works. And she makes a decent living at it. So all the “pretend” was good for her–it helped her to find her life’s work! She now “pretends” for a living!
The other daughter is in a medical field, but she still gets involved with pretend every Christmas, as she produces a huge “Nutcracker” that attracts a large audience and many community members.
I hope this is helpful. I know not every family feels comfortable with this approach, but it really worked well for us. Come to think of it, I think this is what my parents did with me and my brother.
From the very beginning, we told our children, "On Christmas, we pretend that there’s a Santa Claus and it’s SOOO fun that even the grownups, not just the children, pretend that he lives at the North Pole and rides a sleigh through the sky, and has elves and reindeer, and brings presents…it’s the most fun pretend story of all and we do this in our family, too!
Same thing for Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, and any other childhood myths. It’s FUN to pretend! Actors make a living pretending!
We never said, “Santa exists,” except to explain (even as Protestants) that there was a saint named Nicholas who brought dowries to young women, and that’s where Santa Claus got started–people created a pretend “St. Nicholas” character to honor the real saint.
We did tell our children that some people really believe in Santa, especially some children, and so they need to be kind and not try to tell these people that Santa doesn’t exist. That’s not loving at all, it’s mean.
This worked out just fine for us. I am wise enough to know that little children do not always discern what is real and pretend, and I’m pretty certain that they believed in Santa with all their heart when they were little. But as they got older, they were used to hearing that Santa was pretend, so there was no big let-down when they got older. They started understanding what we were saying, and the joy over “pretending that there is a Santa” was and still is there!
BTW, my older daughter was obviously a “theater kid” growing up, and she has worked in the entertainment business all her life so far. She has a Master’s Degree in the field in which she works. And she makes a decent living at it. So all the “pretend” was good for her–it helped her to find her life’s work! She now “pretends” for a living!
The other daughter is in a medical field, but she still gets involved with pretend every Christmas, as she produces a huge “Nutcracker” that attracts a large audience and many community members.
I hope this is helpful. I know not every family feels comfortable with this approach, but it really worked well for us. Come to think of it, I think this is what my parents did with me and my brother.
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Allegra
Guest
I have always thought it strange when people tell me that they believed the tooth fairy and Easter bunny were actually real physical beings. Like they think a literal rabbit is somehow carrying a basket full of eggs through their yard. I mean…what? Even as a young child, I understood that he “Easter Bunny” was the secret identity of whoever was hiding the eggs. At no point were we ever expected to believe in a literal bunny rabbit. The “tooth fairy” was the same way. “Fairies” were pretend creatures who left surprises for us. My parents did this all the time. “Oh, look! The must have been fairies in the garden last night!” (And we’d find some new pails and shovels in the garden.) Even as young children, we understood that we were being given a gift by someone who simply wished to remain anonymous. We also were taught to give “fairy gifts” in the same way.
Santa was a little different because Santa is based on St. Nicholas, who IS a real person and who IS a canonized saint. At some point, we gradually understood that we do things in his name and perhaps with his spirit in mind. He is real, though he works through people, rather than through magic. And yes, there is an obvious parallel to God there, and I think that’s perfectly fine.
Santa was a little different because Santa is based on St. Nicholas, who IS a real person and who IS a canonized saint. At some point, we gradually understood that we do things in his name and perhaps with his spirit in mind. He is real, though he works through people, rather than through magic. And yes, there is an obvious parallel to God there, and I think that’s perfectly fine.
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