DRE forcing children to do face-to-face confessions

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Sir_Knight

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My daughter is doing her first confession this year and the letter that she brought home says that the children will be “strongly encouraged” to do the confession face-to-face. I asked my daughter to explain to me what they are being taught in school and when she got to that part, she said that they were told that they had to make a face-to-face confession and there was even no mention of going behind the screen.

That doesn’t sound like being “strongly encouraged” to do the confession face-to-face. It sounds to me like face-to-face was the only option given to them which I have a bit of a problem with.

Comments? Suggestions?
 
Call the DRE/teacher with your concerns.

Or make a scene in the confession line.😉
 
I’m not aware your daugher has to make first confession at your parish or with her class.
I prepared my children at home and took them privately to another parish which has a confessor I really admire.
 
No person can be forced into doing face-to-face confession–or into not doing face-to-face. Sounds as though your DRE might have a different understanding of this, and that could be based on a variety of factors. I would check out on-line either the catechism or the GIRM to back up the confession posture (because I’m pretty sure this is addressed at least in the GIRM) so you have documentation with you, and then arrange to talk, in a nonconfrontational way, with the DRE. It might be that the ‘strong encouragement’ is what the children will be presented with first, and that the ‘screen’ option will be presented in the future. Of course, even this is not optimal, since both options should receive equal value and again, the GIRM should come in handy here. Perhaps a timely reminder to the DRE that “all children are not created equal” and that even if some psychological or behavioral study, or whatever they use as a ‘guideline’ to have come up with the idea to strongly encourage face-to-face in the first place, has ‘promoted’ this for children, not all children are going to be comfortable with this option, and their needs must be addressed, not as second-rate or less desirable either.
 
Sir Knight,
This is what we did.
We went to the Church outside of confession time and looked in the confessional and “practiced” both ways. They at first preferred face to face, now our dd goes only behind the screen.

Also, I would talk with other parents about what you think and the DRE. At a time outside of the penance service, let those other parents know the greatness and the fact that we need to let our children know HOW to use the confessional.

God Bless
H
 
I know that a screen should be available to all penitents in case they want to use one, however, it seems to me that the main purpose for needing a screen is one of shame or embarrasment on the part of the penitent. And that is OK, I completely understand that.

However, children making their first confession would rarely have a sin of a kind or magnitude that would result in shame or embarrasement. I personally like the idea of first confession being face-to-face so that the child gets the idea that confession is something positive, not negative; and that the priest is someone you can talk to. A screen gives a whole different feeling.

I remember my first confession, and I remember it being small, dark, and like being in a broom closet, and I had a hard time hearing the priest, and I was scared. I couldn’t wait to get out of there. My experience was so negative, I didn’t go to confession again for decades.

Remember, this is just the first confession. The screen will be there for the child to use in the future if he or she desires. But it is incredibly important that the first confession be a good experience, and face-to-face can do that for a child.
 
Sir_Knight said:
My daughter is doing her first confession this year and the letter that she brought home says that the children will be “strongly encouraged” to do the confession face-to-face. I asked my daughter to explain to me what they are being taught in school and when she got to that part, she said that they were told that they had to make a face-to-face confession and there was even no mention of going behind the screen.

That doesn’t sound like being “strongly encouraged” to do the confession face-to-face. It sounds to me like face-to-face was the only option given to them which I have a bit of a problem with.

Comments? Suggestions?
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I would take the letter and speak with the pastor. If necessary show him the canon law requiring a screen be available for those who wish to use it. And require the teacher to teach them how to make a confession with as well as without the screen.
 
Tantum_ergo said:
No person can be forced into doing face-to-face confession–or into not doing face-to-face.

Of course, even this is not optimal, since both options should receive equal value and again, the GIRM should come in handy here.
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An anonymous confession is a guarantee (by canon law). Face to face is completely optional. If there are both options available, the penitent can chose face-to-face or behind the screen. There is no requirement that FTF be offered. The priest can decide to only have confessions with a screen. The priest cannot decide to only have confessions FTF.

BTW, the GIRM is about liturgy. Other Sacraments aren’t included.
 
Sir_Knight said:
My daughter is doing her first confession this year and the letter that she brought home says that the children will be “strongly encouraged” to do the confession face-to-face. I asked my daughter to explain to me what they are being taught in school and when she got to that part, she said that they were told that they had to make a face-to-face confession and there was even no mention of going behind the screen.

That doesn’t sound like being “strongly encouraged” to do the confession face-to-face. It sounds to me like face-to-face was the only option given to them which I have a bit of a problem with.

Comments? Suggestions?
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Canon 964: § 1. The proper place for hearing sacramental confessions is a church or oratory.

§ 2. As far as the confessional is concerned, norms are to be issued by the Bishops’ Conference, with the proviso however that confessionals, fitted with a fixed grille between the penitent and the confessor, always be available in an open place, so that the faithful who so wish may freely use them.

§ 3. Except for a just reason, confessions are not to be heard elsewhere than in a confessional.
 
jpjd said:
I know that a screen should be available to all penitents in case they want to use one, however, it seems to me that the main purpose for needing a screen is one of shame or embarrasment on the part of the penitent. And that is OK, I completely understand that.

However, children making their first confession would rarely have a sin of a kind or magnitude that would result in shame or embarrasement. I personally like the idea of first confession being face-to-face so that the child gets the idea that confession is something positive, not negative; and that the priest is someone you can talk to. A screen gives a whole different feeling.

I remember my first confession, and I remember it being small, dark, and like being in a broom closet, and I had a hard time hearing the priest, and I was scared. I couldn’t wait to get out of there. My experience was so negative, I didn’t go to confession again for decades.

Remember, this is just the first confession. The screen will be there for the child to use in the future if he or she desires. But it is incredibly important that the first confession be a good experience, and face-to-face can do that for a child.
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It doesn’t matter the magnitude of the child’s sins - a lot of them would simply feel more at ease and confess more freely and readily with the anonymity of going behind a screen (I know I did as a youngster, and still do).
 
Sir_Knight said:
My daughter is doing her first confession this year and the letter that she brought home says that the children will be “strongly encouraged” to do the confession face-to-face. I asked my daughter to explain to me what they are being taught in school and when she got to that part, she said that they were told that they had to make a face-to-face confession and there was even no mention of going behind the screen.

That doesn’t sound like being “strongly encouraged” to do the confession face-to-face. It sounds to me like face-to-face was the only option given to them which I have a bit of a problem with.

Comments? Suggestions?
Click to expand...
Strongly encouraged in this case probably means do it my way or else. There is no way that this is legal under Canon Law or binding on anyone. The techer or the DRE has probably decided that they expect things to be done in a modern fashion. I would also bet that they say Communion can only be received in the hand as well.
 
Our priest has never allowed the confessional to be used for First Confessions (excuse me, “Reconciliation” - he gets irritated when people say ‘Confession’).

And, just recently he has removed the screen in the confessional all together - now the only option for everyone is face-to-face. The saddest part - in our very huge parish he commented that he averages one or two people a week. So in the end, this probably doesn’t matter much to most people, but for the wrong reason. 😦

I personally prefer face to face, but it bothers me he isn’t following Canon Law in allowing anonymous confessions.
 
FYI, the option to use a screen is universal, which means that the priest could opt to hear confessions only from behind a screen.

This is very useful to the priest in maintaining confidentiality.
 
Elzee said:
Our priest has never allowed the confessional to be used for First Confessions (excuse me, “Reconciliation” - he gets irritated when people say ‘Confession’).

And, just recently he has removed the screen in the confessional all together - now the only option for everyone is face-to-face. The saddest part - in our very huge parish he commented that he averages one or two people a week. So in the end, this probably doesn’t matter much to most people, but for the wrong reason. 😦

I personally prefer face to face, but it bothers me he isn’t following Canon Law in allowing anonymous confessions.
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And the sadness here is that many will no longer to go Confession because of this. 😦 So very very sad that some priests just don’t understand the word “obedience” for some reason. :mad:

~Liza
 
When I confess my sins face to face it feels like conversation to me.

When I confess behind the screen it feels like a sacrament to me.

I am not ashamed of confessing to my priest face to face but it certainly feels much more sacramental to me to go behind the screen.

I am not saying or do I beleive that one way is “more” sacramental than the other…but behind the screen to me seems more of a personal encounter with the forgiving Christ than the relaxed conversation with a priest face to face. My two cents.
 
At my home parish, the pastor no longer allows face-to-face confession. When I asked why, he commented on “removing the possibility of scandal.” 😦
 
GoodB4 said:
At my home parish, the pastor no longer allows face-to-face confession. When I asked why, he commented on “removing the possibility of scandal.” 😦
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A priest in another parish in our town has done the same thing, for the same reason. What confuses me though, is these priests could still offer face-to-face confessions, just do it in the back pew or corner of the church and rope off a boundary to keep people from getting too close. We do this all the time for communal penance services where we have multiple priests and not enough rooms for all of them.
 
I think this is the type of thing you see in more liberal parishes where they view confession as a therapy session. Personally I have never gone face to face. If I want to talk personal issues over with the priest, I make an appointment to do so. If I want the priest to be an intermediary in the sacrament of confession, I go to confession, always behind the screen.

I think face to face discourages people from going to confession. Also, they are supposed to always offer behind the screen, face to face is merely an option they can also offer.
 
I think this is the type of thing you see in more liberal parishes where they view confession as a therapy session. Personally I have never gone face to face. If I want to talk personal issues over with the priest, I make an appointment to do so. If I want the priest to be an intermediary in the sacrament of confession, I go to confession, always behind the screen.

I think face to face discourages people from going to confession. Also, they are supposed to always offer behind the screen, face to face is merely an option they can also offer.
 
At my home parish, the pastor no longer allows face-to-face confession. When I asked why, he commented on “removing the possibility of scandal.”
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I fully understand your priests concern but there is another way to accomplish this. My priest has a small confessional. When you walk in you kneel to the left and there is a grill covering the opening from the top of the kneeler to the ceiling and to both sides of the wall. There is a curtain on the inside that the priest can pull back if the penitent wishes this. How does this help? It protects the priest and the one confessing. The only way our priest could get to the person confessing is to come out of the confessional walk around to the front of the Church walk in front of the line of people and walk in the entrance to the confessional. No one can ever say they were molested in the confessional or the priest did anything inappropriate to them. He cannot even fit one finger in between the openings on the grill. But, he is still right there to confess to.

On another note, I personally prefer to confess face to face. I want my priest to know me and to know all of my sins. Why?Because a relationship is built with my Father whom I trust and he can mentor and guide me through each of these sins until they are squashed out of my life. I try to go at least once per week. However, I would only do this with a priest I fully trust. If I go to a priest I don’t know I usually go behind the screen.
 
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