L
lynnehelen
Guest
What is the feeling of “dread”? I feel it on me like the worst panic after doing something I knew was temptation. I prayed a prayer to the Holy Spirit that a Catholic woman taught me, and, as far as I can understand it, He guided me to go ahead and make the on-line purchase for 277 dollars that was in question. And then I was sure Satan clicked his heels together in glee and this image is giving me dread that won’t stop. I have been here before, and it led to unbelievable ruin–dread over a mistake, the possible consequences. So I have reasoned through it a little bit and, turning to St. Faustina, know to trust in God’s goodness in difficult moments that we might not become despondent and despair. And, as far as I understand it, Jesus is telling me He is with me. The purchase was something I needed but wan’t well thought out and relates to a visit I plan with my mother tomorrow which was already going to be difficult.
Suddenly I feel the whole thread of the past twenty years come unravelling and the waves of panic won’t stop.
I always used to fear at moments like these that I was not a follower at all, thinking “Lord, Lord,” and recalling the passage from the Bible where Jesus says not everybody who calls Him Lord belongs to Him.
And this gives me dread in so many ways. I trust that we are all God’s children and that he IS loving and merciful, but it is 1:43 a.m. and I still can’t sleep and feel full of fear, telling myself to fear only the Lord, I sense positive possiblities through this (I have been going through a “critical moment” in my life for some time after years of disaster), but fear to trust in temptation and in SATAN for goodness and know certain steps NOT to take that I took in situations like this before, but still feel confused.
Does anyone here have any idea what I’m talking about?
Just relocated from a dreadful apartment to a new place–but there is so much going on and suddenly I am taken back in my mind to years ago.
Is God just give me a bit of a rough ride cuz I sinned? Can’t pray.
Suddenly I feel the whole thread of the past twenty years come unravelling and the waves of panic won’t stop.
I always used to fear at moments like these that I was not a follower at all, thinking “Lord, Lord,” and recalling the passage from the Bible where Jesus says not everybody who calls Him Lord belongs to Him.
And this gives me dread in so many ways. I trust that we are all God’s children and that he IS loving and merciful, but it is 1:43 a.m. and I still can’t sleep and feel full of fear, telling myself to fear only the Lord, I sense positive possiblities through this (I have been going through a “critical moment” in my life for some time after years of disaster), but fear to trust in temptation and in SATAN for goodness and know certain steps NOT to take that I took in situations like this before, but still feel confused.
Does anyone here have any idea what I’m talking about?
Just relocated from a dreadful apartment to a new place–but there is so much going on and suddenly I am taken back in my mind to years ago.
Is God just give me a bit of a rough ride cuz I sinned? Can’t pray.