- Can he see me through the window? Is he going to know it’s me?
If there’s a screen, there’s no way to see you. Just make sure that you’re walking into the screen booth…a lot of confessionals have two booths, one for screen, and one for face to face.
- Is it like the movies? Do I really start off with, ‘Forgive me Father for I have sinned?’
Basically. I actually say “Bless me” instead of “Forgive me,” but both are acceptable.
- After that part - then what? Do I just start listing off bad things I’ve done, or is it more conversational?
Think of it as a list, not a conversation. When people start conversating in the confessional, it can take a long time. Basically, the simple steps are:
- Enter confessional. As you begin to kneel at the screen, the priest will usually pray (because he can hear you) “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” As he is doing this, cross yourself.
- Say “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been (days, weeks, months, years etc) since my last confession. Since my last confession, I accuse myself of the following sins:” Since this is your first Confession, tell him that i.e. Bless me Father, for I have sinned. This is the first time I’ve confessed my sins. This will let the priest know that he may need to lead you a little bit.
- List your sins and their frequency. If you don’t know exactly how many times you’ve committed that sin, say something like “daily” or “weekly.” And I stress the “listing” part…you don’t have to go into detail unless he asks you. For example, say “I told a lie twice” or “I gossiped once.” If the priest needs more details, he will ask. Otherwise, please don’t get into a commentary.
- When you are finished listing your sins, say something to the effect of “For these sins and any sins I may have forgotten, I’m sorry.”
- The priest will either ask you for more details if he needs to or he may start giving you advice on how to combat sin. When he’s done with that, he’ll assign you a penance i.e. 3 Our Fathers and then he will ask you to say an Act of Contrition. Every confessional I’ve seen has an Act of Contrition posted somewhere near the screen that you can read from.
- When you’re done praying the Act of Contrition, the priest will give you Absolution. Listen closely to the words of Absolution. At the end of the Absolution, the priest will say “And I absolve you, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” As he’s saying this, make sure to cross yourself. When he’s done with giving you Absolution, he will something along the lines of “Go in peace.” After he’s done, it’s customary to thank your Confessor.
- Do your pennance as soon as you can.
- What if I start sobbing like a darn fool…the other day someone asked me, ‘Well, what do YOU really want in life’ - and I broke down. I had never had someone matter of factly as me that before. I couldn’t even answer it. Is he going to have the time or patience to deal with that - or should I take time to get it out of my system beforehand?
People sob in the confessional all the time. The priest will understand and work with you.
- What order do I start in when going down my list? Is it okay to just admit I’ve done it all and talk about the issue I’m dealing with in the present? I’ve sinned a lot throughout my life.
You have to list all mortal sins, so I would do those first. Generally I go down the list according to the Examination of Conscious, which mirrors the 10 Commandments. Do a Google search for it and you’ll see what I mean.
As for the talking part, don’t. Unless the priest asks. Confession is not for spiritual direction, it’s for Absolution.
- Other people will probably be there waiting for confession as well - how sound proof is that box? Do we have a time limit that I need to be aware of?
You will notice that most people do their best to stand away from the confessional booth. The confessionals aren’t really sound proof, but there’s no need to talk that loud as the priest pretty much has his head against the other side of the screen.
As for the time limit, this is why I said to only list your sins (with no commentary). While there’s no set time limit for a confession, it’s courtesy to confess as quickly as possible. Other people want to confess and confession schedules are often limited to 1 hour or so. If you think you will have to make a long confession and that you will need to take time, I highly recommend you make an appointment rather than going during regular confession hours. This way you have all the time you need, and you don’t take up other people’s time. That may sound harsh, but there’s nothing worse than standing in line forever because someone wants to take their time. Your confessor does not need to know the details of your sins to give you Absolution, he just needs to know which sins you committed.
People often feel like they have to get the whole story out about what happened and why they did it. It’s not necessary and some Confessors will even tell you to just list your sins.
To give you an example of how long you should take, it usually takes me about 3 minutes to completely confess.
I have the nerve. I’m going tonight. crosses fingers
Once it’s over, you will feel like a million bucks. I go to Confession once a week and the feeling never fades.
I swear he was talking straight at me… 
Everybody here is cheering you on!