R
roseproject
Guest
If any of you have been following a good number of my threads, you probably know I have had the dream of writing a certain story for a number of years.
In case you didn’t know, in short I’ve been developing a story (a manga/comic book, to be more specific) with some rather christian undertones to it (more in terms of how the characters act than what they say. Some of the characters are rather spiritual, too). The story will communicate messages from how sin affects the soul and society, to anti-prejudice, to the goodness of community, to forgiveness, and many other things, while at the same time producing a high quality story.
Ever since I got started getting serious with my relationship with God (I was about 13 when this happened. I am now in my 20’s.), I wanted this story of mine to glorify Him, and be used to serve His kingdom. For the many years I’ve been working on it, the path has been riddled with obstacle after obstacle, each one getting harder and harder to overcome. Some of these hurdles keep me from serious work on the story for a half year or more. Yet, every time I get past a difficulty, both me as a person and my story improve.
Yet, at the same time, I don’t want story-related difficulties to control my life (I’ve suffered major anxiety from this many a time before). Then, I discovered something rather liberating: I, in fact, can live without my story. When these difficulties arise, I can (to an extent) forget about them and live in the moment.
Thing is, my problem is that I hardly feel any desire to work on it, nor do I feel much interest in the act of drawing in general. I feel bored by it all, like I do still desire the story to be completed, but the act of drawing my characters (for an example) kinda makes my head roll. It’s making me wonder if I’m really called to do this, despite all the answered prayers and consolations I’ve received from God in the past. Like, did He really intend me to complete the story or is He calling me to let this be it? Why would He put such a dream in my heart; a desire to use it to serve the good of humanity and God’s kingdom if He never intended it to be completed?
Then, I read in the written work, ‘Holy Abandonment’ that sometimes God calls people to “return from the half-finished journey when the Divine will, which is our guide, so ordains.” catholictradition.org/Classics/abandonment8-1.htm
How should I know whether these constant obstacles and these feelings of not really wanting to fulfill this dream anymore simply the devil’s discouragement, or if it’s God’s way of leading me to give up this dream and move on?
How long should I keep praying to lift these hurdles before I can get some smooth progress going? I sometimes wonder if I can handle any kind of deadlines when working to publish multiple volumes of this story if I get these sort of road blocks as much as I do. I should cross that bridge when it comes, I guess
Anyone experiencing similar things or have any advice?
Thanks in advance
In case you didn’t know, in short I’ve been developing a story (a manga/comic book, to be more specific) with some rather christian undertones to it (more in terms of how the characters act than what they say. Some of the characters are rather spiritual, too). The story will communicate messages from how sin affects the soul and society, to anti-prejudice, to the goodness of community, to forgiveness, and many other things, while at the same time producing a high quality story.
Ever since I got started getting serious with my relationship with God (I was about 13 when this happened. I am now in my 20’s.), I wanted this story of mine to glorify Him, and be used to serve His kingdom. For the many years I’ve been working on it, the path has been riddled with obstacle after obstacle, each one getting harder and harder to overcome. Some of these hurdles keep me from serious work on the story for a half year or more. Yet, every time I get past a difficulty, both me as a person and my story improve.
Yet, at the same time, I don’t want story-related difficulties to control my life (I’ve suffered major anxiety from this many a time before). Then, I discovered something rather liberating: I, in fact, can live without my story. When these difficulties arise, I can (to an extent) forget about them and live in the moment.
Thing is, my problem is that I hardly feel any desire to work on it, nor do I feel much interest in the act of drawing in general. I feel bored by it all, like I do still desire the story to be completed, but the act of drawing my characters (for an example) kinda makes my head roll. It’s making me wonder if I’m really called to do this, despite all the answered prayers and consolations I’ve received from God in the past. Like, did He really intend me to complete the story or is He calling me to let this be it? Why would He put such a dream in my heart; a desire to use it to serve the good of humanity and God’s kingdom if He never intended it to be completed?
Then, I read in the written work, ‘Holy Abandonment’ that sometimes God calls people to “return from the half-finished journey when the Divine will, which is our guide, so ordains.” catholictradition.org/Classics/abandonment8-1.htm
How should I know whether these constant obstacles and these feelings of not really wanting to fulfill this dream anymore simply the devil’s discouragement, or if it’s God’s way of leading me to give up this dream and move on?
How long should I keep praying to lift these hurdles before I can get some smooth progress going? I sometimes wonder if I can handle any kind of deadlines when working to publish multiple volumes of this story if I get these sort of road blocks as much as I do. I should cross that bridge when it comes, I guess
Anyone experiencing similar things or have any advice?
Thanks in advance