Dressing up for Church?

[Sr_Sally]

It’s not prideful. I have read the comments on some of the threads about the way people dress and they would snicker at the OP. Those people who snicker are prideful.

Agreed. The people snickering are definately prideful. But it is also not right to assume that everyone is going to notice you or comment about your apperance. We should all be too caught up in the Mass to notice anyone’s dress–whether super fancy or super not.

 

[outfctrl]

Outfctrl, I live in Orange Park, but my Brother & SIL moved to Mandarin and started going to St. Joseph’s about 8 months ago. They love it. I was told that the 5:30 p.m. Vigil Mass on Saturday & the 8:00 a.m. Sunday Mass are a little more relaxed. Yes , you should go! There is the largest Catholic Store in Jacksonville at 11018 Old St. Augustine Road named Queen of Angels(# is 288-0062). There you can most likely get a Catholic Book of Prayers (cost around $5.00) that will have the order of the Mass, many common prayers (including acts of contrition which you will say after confession), the stations of the cross and much more. I recommend picking one of those up to help you feel more comfortable in your coming home process! You are in my prayers ! God Bless you!
Oh, here is the website for St. Joseph’s www.stjosephsjax.org.

Thanks for the link. Father Cody married my ex and I in 1986

 

[RWMorris]

God bless you Oufctrl, and welcome home! Don’t wait another minute to go to Mass and to Confession.
As far as the annulment, it is well worth it so you can consider marrying again. Go for it! We did and are so grateful we did.
Lissa

 

[outfctrl]

I dont think so

 

[Lucania]

Thanks for the link. Father Cody married my ex and I in 1986

You are welcome! I did not read all of your previous posts, but since you know Fr. Cody, that’s a good thing as far as coming back to the Church, right? I’ve heard alot of good things about him.

 

[GregoryPalamas]

The Lord and Confession are good. You have great days ahead. God bless you.

CDL

 

[jmcrae]

Thanks so much for all your responses. I will try and make it a point to go this weekend. I will get a polo shirt, I think I have a few.
Little nervous here.
#1 Havent been to confession in over 15 years. I am pretty wild and have done some things I am not proud of, but nothing really serious. Well, what I consider not serious.

They’ve heard it all before. You can’t shock them.

#2 I am divorced (civil wise), never got an annulment (The church considers me still married) They want over 500.00 to get an annulment…I looked into it…sheesh. Where does that put me in the eyes of the church?

As long as you’re not married or living with anybody right now, you’re okay. But do get this sorted out before you start to consider dating anyone, since there is also the possiblity that the Declaration of Nullity might not be granted, since not every divorced marriage is a null marriage. (The Tribunal can’t actually cause it to become null - all they can do is figure out whether it actually was null, or not.)

#3 If I go to confession, How many rosaries (dont even own one) will the priest tell me to say? 15 years worth of sins?

I had 39 years of sins to tell when I first came into the Church, six years ago. It’s not so bad. He gave me to read the story of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15, and one Our Father. Took me 15 minutes to complete my penance. Not bad, for 39 years of sinning.

The Priest will have a career with me. I have forgotten so many prayers. I dont even know how to start in confession or say the prayers he wants me to say.

I set up this Outline for Individual Confessions for my Catechism students. It’s meant for kids, but it works for adults, too.

#4 I am kinda scared. All the training I had from Catholic grade school all the way through Catholic High School seems to be a blur.

Don’t worry. It will all come back to you.

I have also been reading this Catholic Magazine, that for some reason has been showing up at my house every month. I never subscribed to it. Have no idea where it came from. Been getting it for a year or so. Weird

Anyways, if I dont go now, I will just keep putting it off, like I always do. I always have an excuse not to go. Grocery shopping, motorcycle trips, work around the house, you name it, I have the excuse.
Thank you again, all of you for the spiritual support you have shown. I am really touched by all your kindness to a stranger and a newbie poster.

Sounds like God is really working in your life.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

I am a simple guy and a little rough around the edges. I do not dress up and mostly wear jeans and T shirts. I ride a chopper too.
I just feel with me pulling up to Church on my cycle, biker boots, jeans and a T shirt, they would probably kick me out.

Oh, numerous tattoos also.

This is one of the reasons I kinda shy away from going to church.
I keep saying to myself I will go anyways, but I am afraid I will offend some people. Everyone gets so dressed up.

and no, I am not going out to buy a wardrobe for mass.

Do you think I should still go?

outfctl, God bless you!

Don’t let appearance keep you away. St. Francis of Assisi, one of the greatest saints of the Church, wore beggars clothing.

God wants your heart, not your style or status in life.

Jim

 

[Brenda_V]

Thanks so much for all your responses. I will try and make it a point to go this weekend. I will get a polo shirt, I think I have a few.
Little nervous here.

Good for you. Just get yourself to Mass, do try and go to Confession before your first Mass if possible but if not, go anyway and get to confession as soon as you can next week!

#1 Havent been to confession in over 15 years. I am pretty wild and have done some things I am not proud of, but nothing really serious. Well, what I consider not serious.

Call the Parish office and set up an appointment with one of the Priests to make a Confession at a time other than the usual times the Parish offers them this way you can take all the time you need to get advise from the Priest while you make your first confession in 15 years.

#2 I am divorced (civil wise), never got an annulment (The church considers me still married) They want over 500.00 to get an annulment…I looked into it…sheesh. Where does that put me in the eyes of the church?

A civil divorce has no affect on your status in the Church whatsoever unless you have Married again. If you desire to seek an annulment or more accurately a declaration of nullity get the process started and if it is a hardship for you to pay the fee your Diocese is asking they will defer some or all of the costs. BTW, a declaration of nullity means that your Sacramental marriage really never was - do a search on “annulment” on these forums for better understanding, especially in the Ask an Apologist forum.

#3 If I go to confession, How many rosaries (dont even own one) will the priest tell me to say? 15 years worth of sins? The Priest will have a career with me. I have forgotten so many prayers. I dont even know how to start in confession or say the prayers he wants me to say.

You can print out in a number of places a how to pray the Rosary guide with the prayers printed there or purchase a Rosary booklet. You can also use your fingers to do the counting. If you make an appointment for a Confession with the Priest you won’t need to worry about it being 15 years since your last confession, the Priest will help you through every aspect of the confession including helping you examine your conscience (see some of the web-sites a previous poster gave, these might ease your mind about going). BTW, your penance, number of Rosaries or prayers are not always determined by the state of your soul before the confession - the Priest may tell you to just say “five Hail Mary’s” and “five Our Fathers”. I am sure you remember these prayers even if you haven’t said them in a number of years.

#4 I am kinda scared. All the training I had from Catholic grade school all the way through Catholic High School seems to be a blur.

Well, they are for me too and I graduated from High School in 1976 but have been blessed with few doubts and a craving for knowledge about the Faith which the internet as finally satisfying.

Anyways, if I dont go now, I will just keep putting it off, like I always do. I always have an excuse not to go. Grocery shopping, motorcycle trips, work around the house, you name it, I have the excuse.
Thank you again, all of you for the spiritual support you have shown. I am really touched by all your kindness to a stranger and a newbie poster.

You got it, don’t put it off any longer - Confession or starting back to Mass!

I do want to say that those 12 years of Catholic school, some of those lessons must have sunk in because you understand a little about Marriage and Divorce and Annulment. You just need to have some things clarified.

I will pray for you to have the courage to follow through on your desire that is so evident in your posts here.
Let us know how things are going, we are all here for you and even those who haven’t posted are probably praying for you.

Brenda V.

 

[KatieD]

Definitely go! And welcome back!

 

[ddeluna]

Do you think I should still go?

Put on the cleanest of whatever you got and “just do it”.

David

 

[outfctrl]

One more question and I will get out of your hair.
I have also been getting an envelope with a bunch of smaller envelopes in it for offering in the mail from the Church. It is still addressed as Mr. and Mrs. I have been trashing them

Will they change it? or will they keep it because in the churches eyes I am still married.

Plus…whoops…two questions

How much am I supposed to give? Would $20.00 per Mass do ok?

 

[ddeluna]

Will they change it? or will they keep it because in the churches eyes I am still married.

Plus…whoops…two questions

How much am I supposed to give? Would $20.00 per Mass do ok?

Of course they’ll change it. Just tell 'em.

If you were to give $20 each Sunday you are to be considered a good Steward of God’s gifts He gives us all. He gives us our time, our talents, and our treasure. We are called to give back to Him thru our faith community, thru charity, our time, our talent, and our treasure. It’s scriptural. Practice good Stewardship. Giving $20 at mass is doing just that - anyway, the treasure part. But one thing at a time.

David

 

[jmcrae]

One more question and I will get out of your hair.
I have also been getting an envelope with a bunch of smaller envelopes in it for offering in the mail from the Church. It is still addressed as Mr. and Mrs. I have been trashing them

Will they change it? or will they keep it because in the churches eyes I am still married.

Once you’ve got the more important things sorted out, just go down to the Church office and ask them to update your registration information.

Plus…whoops…two questions

How much am I supposed to give? Would $20.00 per Mass do ok?

Sure, that’s fine. It’s totally up to you. Some people give one hour’s wages; others give ten percent of their income, and still others just give whatever they happen to have on hand at a given moment - $20.00, $50.00, or $36.52 - whatever.

 

[Brenda_V]

One more question and I will get out of your hair.
I have also been getting an envelope with a bunch of smaller envelopes in it for offering in the mail from the Church. It is still addressed as Mr. and Mrs. I have been trashing them

Will they change it? or will they keep it because in the churches eyes I am still married.

When you call to make the appointment for confession with the Priest tell the secretary that your current marital condition has changed and you would like your envelopes to be addressed to just you, Mr. oufctrl.

Plus…whoops…two questions

How much am I supposed to give? Would $20.00 per Mass do ok?

The amount you put in a weekly envelope is really up to you. I recommend looking at tithing, that is taking 10% of your income and giving 5% to the Parish and the other 5% to good, moral organizations. This is only a recommendation and $20.00 might already be that 5% for you.

Now if you want to be in my hair again, feel free, I love to see someone come back to the Faith! God is so good, He led you back and also led you here to these forums. We are all here with anxious fingers to type out an answer or opinion to any of your questions.

Brenda V.

 

[salvereginadude]

Well, I wasnt talking about filthy clothes or obscene tats. Most of my tats are above the shirt line anyways, but most of my t shirts are cut off at the shoulders.

Thanks all for your comments. I do have a clean pair of jeans I could wear and a black Tshirt with short sleeves.

The Church I belong to is in a high end neighborhood though. Very big here in Jax, Fl. St. Josephs. It is about 2 miles form my house.

I have been wrestling with my faith for many years. I even have a catechism next to my bed to keep reminding me to go back. To this day, I still say a Hail Mary when an ambulance goes by. The nuns taught me that in grade school and I have never forgot it.

I guess I just need to take my lazy *** back to church. After all, it is laziness.

My mother and I are having this current debate , I really don’t think it matters what you’re wearing when you go to Mass because you’re going to worship God. On the other hand I can understand dressing up to honor the Lord but we must remember that it was God Himself who said He is a good that sees people not as we see them but with the heart. The condition of your heart at Mass is the only thing you should be worrying about in my opinion.

 

[Yes]

Go to mass. It is a bit prideful to think that everyone will be talking about your bike or noticing your tatoos. I’m sure you have a pair of clean, not ripped up jeans to wear and a collared shirt (didn’t say dress shirt) to put on over your clean, not ripped up T-shirt.

That is extremely well said. So many people have put so much energy into the “clothing debate.” We hear about work schedules, job descriptions, allergies, kids, choppers, no clothing budget, WWJD, hot weather, cold weather, mild weather, Jesus was poor, Jesus would not care what I wore, etc. The absolutely worst is the false dichotomy: “Either I dress like xyz or I CANNOT go to Mass.”

Enough with the pride already.

For about 5 bucks one can get an outfit from your typical Goodwill or Catholic Thrift Shoppe that will put an end to all debate and anxiety…

 

[maciejk60]

I agree with all those that say go to Church! The more you go you will realize that you are not making that decision! It is the Holy Spirit calling you. All you have to do is respond.

I hope you take the rest of this reply in the spirit intended.

With that said, I think dress is very important. it shows respect for Jesus and his presence in the Eucharist.

Once you start going, you are going to wonder what I am talking about, because you will see, like I have, young woman in jogging attire, guys in shorts and flip flops, kids with tee shirts with demonic imprints etc.

I try to get my kids to dress for Mass and they point out all the above to me. I simply ask them, how would they dress if were to meet the President of the USA or the Pope. Or how about a date with a person they really wanted to impress etc. Are any of these situations more important than meeting Jesus.

The problem is that according to the newspapers the majority of those attending Mass do not really believe that Jesus is really present in the Eucharist.

As I started off saying, go and dress as best as you can. That is all anyone can expect. I am willing to bet as you continue and get spiritually nourished you may consider having a set of cloths you refer to as your “Sunday” best.

God Bless and I will pray that the Holy Spirit keeps working on you.

By the way, arthritis has cause me to recenty sell my 1995 Suzuki VS1400 fully tricked out!

 

[Beachcomber]

There’s a fellow at the church I have been known to attend that fits your description. He is frequently one of the lectors.

Go back, your concern is just the prompting of the Spirit calling you.

PS, I have tattoos, too.

 

[Convert_in_99]

Just go to Mass. Jesus loves YOU the way YOU are. That is Satan trying to tell you that you aren’t good enough to go to church…cause…guess what…that would mean Jesus won yet another battle for your soul and there’s nothing Satan hates more than loosing a battle.

Side with Jesus and go to church!

Remember: Just because people are dressed up outside and wearing their “sunday best”…doesn’t mean they are wearing their “sunday best” inside. We can’t judge persons by their appearence. If this happens to you…maybe try a less crowded mass or a different more welcoming parish. I’d be proud to take you with me…you sound like a person of great faith!