Drinking and Parental Consent

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new_User1357246

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Hello.
I’m 20 and I am currently studying abroad for a semester. While I can’t legally drink in the U.S., I can here. My parents are paying for my college. I KNOW that they would not like it if I were to drink. However, would it be sinful for me to do so anyways, without their knowledge, since I am not living with them and not breaking any laws? (And I spend my own money on the stuff too). I’ve never even really had to lie to my parents about it, I just leave it out of every story that I tell.
Also–if it is sinful, is it mortally sinfull or “only” venially.
 
If you are seeking “collateral justification” for your actions… I’ll not be the one to help you.

But, here’s what I see from a legal standpoint:

If you are of the age of majority in the country that you are residing in presently, then it is legal for you to consume.

If you have moral qualms about it, and fear that your parents would ask you the question…and you would have to lie…then there is the question that only you can answer. Misleading them is the lie. If you are comfortable with that…

What say you?
 
Honor thy Mother and Father, as Jesus did. 🙂

You will be glad you did, because one day it could be your child posting this here one day.

What would you do as a parent, if you knew that your child felt this way?

I bet it would break your heart.
 
I should also add that my parents dont even recieve the precious blood at mass solely because it contains alcohol.

Is it a mortal sin for me, when my mom asks, what do you drink when you go out to simply list everything that I drank that contained no alcohol. Also note that I have to talk to her immediately upon getting back from wherever I go, meaning that if I drink, I still need to be able to talk to her. I think she might suspect something.

Also–I’m talking as well about things like wine with meals, which would be rude to turn down from my host “family” here.

At some point is a child not free from the obligation to do everythign his parents wish?
 
new_User1357246 said:
I should also add that my parents dont even recieve the precious blood at mass solely because it contains alcohol.

Is it a mortal sin for me, when my mom asks, what do you drink when you go out to simply list everything that I drank that contained no alcohol. Also note that I have to talk to her immediately upon getting back from wherever I go, meaning that if I drink, I still need to be able to talk to her. I think she might suspect something.
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Here is something your mom may not know about regarding alcohol, unless she has other objections.
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=4129488#post

Its in ask the apologist right now. Nearly on top of the list.

Your mom is paying for that many long distance calls? Wow.:eek:
 
Here’s a Jesuitical answer. Say grape juice and hop juice. Leave out the fermented part. 😃
 
Well young fella, your older than 18 and considered an adult in the U.S. What one might call emancipated. If you are in a Country which has a lower age limit on alcohol, I think drink in moderation would be no sin at all. You are obliged to honor your parents forever, but not required to obey them when they would not be happy with any reasonable thing you wish to do.

Of course if your parent’s hold over you is funding for your education you may want to think twice before risking their support. You are not required under pain of sin to report everything you drink at a meal or in the Stube. Bear in mind that if you drive over there, some countries have extremely low blood alcohol level requirements for anyone driving. It is not up to your host whether you drink alcohol or not. That is your business and while they may think you’re being silly, that isn’t going to hurt you. 👍
 
new_User1357246 said:
Hello.
I’m 20 and I am currently studying abroad for a semester. While I can’t legally drink in the U.S., I can here. My parents are paying for my college. I KNOW that they would not like it if I were to drink. However, would it be sinful for me to do so anyways, without their knowledge, since I am not living with them and not breaking any laws? (And I spend my own money on the stuff too). I’ve never even really had to lie to my parents about it, I just leave it out of every story that I tell.
Also–if it is sinful, is it mortally sinfull or “only” venially.
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First off, drinking is not a sin. Christ Himself drank and produced alcohol (not to mention the countless monasteries ).

Secondly, as one who just came back from a study abroad program in Austria (you’re not from Franciscan are you?) I would recommend that you do drink. Not to excess, or to get yourself drunk, but because believe it or not alcohol is a fundamental part of many European cultures (imagine France without wine, Ireland without whiskey / Guinness, or Germany without their world famous beers). Alcohol is not just about getting drunk, and is not sinful unless abused (just like our sexuality).

Drinking in Austria for myself and our friends was a social thing. You go out to the local pub, have a beer and relax with friends. Never was it about anything else.

Responsible drinking is a good thing, and as for being ‘underage’…that is a relative term depending on the laws of the country you are in. There is no moral law that says one must be a certain age before consuming alcohol. One of the people who encouraged us to drink / sample the cultures through their drinks was a priest in charge of the students during our time in Europe.

For your parents, the reality is that you are 20 years old and can make decisions on your own. I’m not saying to ignore them, but you are an adult. Just watch yourself and be responsible about how much you are consuming / who you are with (as for placing yourself in bad situations), and you will be fine.

P.S.
When you start drinking (either now or in the future), remember this rule: “Everybody gets once”. You are going to accidentally get drunk at least once, and that is ok. Everybody needs time to learn their tolerance level, and its ok to accidentally drink too much (provided it is a genuine accident). Just remember to use that accident to learn what to do / not to do.

Feel free to message me with any other questions you may have. Enjoy Europe!! You’ll miss it as soon as you leave.
 
new_User1357246 said:
Hello.
I’m 20 and I am currently studying abroad for a semester. While I can’t legally drink in the U.S., I can here. My parents are paying for my college. I KNOW that they would not like it if I were to drink. However, would it be sinful for me to do so anyways, without their knowledge, since I am not living with them and not breaking any laws? (And I spend my own money on the stuff too). I’ve never even really had to lie to my parents about it, I just leave it out of every story that I tell.
Also–if it is sinful, is it mortally sinfull or “only” venially.
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Do you mean getting blind-drunk? Then it is bad anyway.
A Moral Theology puzzle from a guy who drinks? You need to stay sober if you want to invent a good, puzzling question.

It is sinful
-against parents, because you know what their will is;
-against health;
-against good life: booze weakens reason, hinders your education, can lead to unchaste acts, can cause violence, etc.

If you mean you drink a 125cc of good wine a day because wine is good for health, then forgive me all the thoughts that popped up to my mind.
 
new_User1357246 said:
I should also add that my parents dont even recieve the precious blood at mass solely because it contains alcohol.
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You mean the really-present Jesus is drunk?
The precious blood contains the precious blood of Jesus.
The eucharistic host (consecrated) is the flesh and blood of Jesus.
The eucharistic host can look and taste like bread and wine because flesh and blood look like flesh and blood and we are not used to eating flesh and blood. Sometimes, however, the host reveals its nature. Google ‘Eucharistic Miracles’ to learn more. Or go to www.therealpresence.org.
therealpresence.org/eucharst/mir/a3.html
 
I mean the really present Jesus.

However, the blood still has the physical characteristics of wine, including that it contains alcohol.​

I am not talking about getting blind drunk. At the same time, I dont necesarilly mean a really tiny amount of alcohol either. For example, I drink to the point that I smile and talk a little more than usual, but not to the point that, for example, others can easilly tell that I have been drinking if I don’t tell them.
 
We *are *called to respect our parents, but not to obey their every wish; especially as an adult. IMO, it is not sinful for you to drink while in Europe, and to keep it from your parents. However, if you are asked, you must tell them the truth. If I may, I suggest you talk to them about this. I don’t mean telling them you’ve been drinking, but just let them know that you’re an adult, and you feel you should be able to make this decision yourself.
 
new_User1357246 said:
I am not talking about getting blind drunk. At the same time, I dont necesarilly mean a really tiny amount of alcohol either. For example, I drink to the point that I smile and talk a little more than usual, but not to the point that, for example, others can easilly tell that I have been drinking if I don’t tell them.
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I think I’ll never be able to understand people. It’s so complicated.
 
FRATER_PAVLVS said:
I think I’ll never be able to understand people. It’s so complicated.
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I don’t understand what you are trying to say… Is it sinful or is it not? Because if it is, I would like to avoid doing it.
 
He is confused. It is not a sin. You can drink responsibly at your age even if your parents are teetotalers. Moderate use of alcohol by adults has never been a sin except in the opinion of some Baptist etc. When you reach that smiley laughy stage it is time to quit for a while.
 
new_User1357246 said:
I should also add that my parents dont even recieve the precious blood at mass solely because it contains alcohol.
That is obsessive…

Is it a mortal sin for me, when my mom asks, what do you drink when you go out to simply list everything that I drank that contained no alcohol. Also note that I have to talk to her immediately upon getting back from wherever I go, meaning that if I drink, I still need to be able to talk to her. I think she might suspect something.

What do you mean you have to talk to her immediately upon getting back? Even when you are in Europe and you go out for the night? In college? I can see this making sense in high school, but certainly NOT college! How does she even know if you are out? She seems excessively controlling…

Also–I’m talking as well about things like wine with meals, which would be rude to turn down from my host “family” here.

Perfectly fine and part of the whole cultural experience.

At some point is a child not free from the obligation to do everythign his parents wish?

At age 20, you are legally an adult. While you must show your parents respect, you are not obligated to obey their every command. As long as it is done in moderation, it is fine.
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notsmart said:
Honor thy Mother and Father, as Jesus did. 🙂

You will be glad you did, because one day it could be your child posting this here one day.

What would you do as a parent, if you knew that your child felt this way?

I bet it would break your heart.
Click to expand...
One can honor their parents AND have a glass of wine with dinner or a pint while at the pub.

If my child is ever fortunate to study abroad, I would certainly HOPE they experience the whole culture, which may include pints in a pub, wine in France, beer in Munich, etc.

It would break my heart if I felt they couldn’t experience the full culture. It would break THEIR heart if I called them after every outing once they are in college and “check up on them”.

Helicopter parents do their children no favors…
 
NewUser, why are your parents teetotalers?

I don’t receive from the chalice because I am a sober alcoholic, and I’m afraid that the alcohol content may set up the old cravings again.

Alcoholism runs in families. If your parents are both sober alcoholics, they may fear that you could follow in their footsteps if you begin to drink. But that is your choice.

Please do NOT tell us if they are alkies. It’s none of our business.

Otherwise, I agree with the poster who said you could be risking parental financial support if you go against their wishes.

Maybe you should talk to your father about it.

Ruthie
 
Hey. your parents are paying to give you an education. If you want to drink then you need to pay for school. The least thing you could do is honor your parents wishes while they are providing you with a future.
 
stringbean,

even if they found out, they would not stop paying for my education! so it seems to me that it might be a bit excessive to pay for it myself if i want to drink, in countries where it is legal.

it is almost as if my parents dont/wont understand that it is legal, either. when they found out my group was going on a wine tasting tour, they said "don’t your professors know that they are taking a group of minors!?!

what i need to know is simply if drinking here would be sinful. not questionable judgment, but sinful.
 
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