Drinking in Church at a Wedding

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If they didn’t respect you telling them “no” and they have no respect for the house of God, then let them respect the man with the badge. That is the job of policemen; stepping in for those who need help. If the priest, or a few men of the Church were not around to help you getting these people off church property, then the police should be called. There are two applicable laws. The first is public intoxication. If they were drinking and being rude and obnoxious, they qualify. The second law is criminal trespass. While they could not be arrested for this initially, you as a church employee and definitely the priest could have them leave voluntarily or be charged with this. Believe me, they wouldn’t be the first to go from a wedding to the jail. It happens more often than you think.
 
Cristiano said:
I am sorry to say so, but it looks like that probably you will never have to see any of those people back in your church.
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It doesn’t seem like much of a loss, quite frankly. We shouldn’t just be interested in numbers, alone. The caliber and quality of the people is also a consideration, since boors have a tendency to drive others off, by their behaviour and language.

In fact, throwing out a few boors would encourage people of good quality to consider our place as a safe place to come and bring their children. 🙂
 
Is there any way the priest can “work” this into a homily coming up with the readings of course. I don’t know what the upcoming ones are though.:o
 
jmcrae said:
It doesn’t seem like much of a loss, quite frankly. We shouldn’t just be interested in numbers, alone.
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Even the ones you toss out will benefit in the long run, perhaps. It is surely better than letting them think the Catholic Church is just like any bar of club. One never gets a chance for conversion if one never realized there is something to convert to or from.
 
notsmart said:
Is there any way the priest can “work” this into a homily coming up with the readings of course. I don’t know what the upcoming ones are though.:o
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you don’t really think the offenders are regular Sunday churchgoers, do you?
 
And thus, we all come to a better understanding of why these groomsmen felt it OK to crack open the Budweiser in the first place.
 
Because of they’re not regular church goers and they don’t know how to conduct themselves in a house of God, a cooler of brewskis probably sounds like a good idea to them.
 
MusicMan said:
Because of they’re not regular church goers and they don’t know how to conduct themselves in a house of God, a cooler of brewskis probably sounds like a good idea to them.
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I am trying to figure out how cracking open a couple of beers wouldn’t be the height of rudeness at any formal occasion. Surely they don’t just routinely crack open beers where ever they happen to be, do they?
 
LVP said:
The celebrant was one of our priests. He is the one that told me I should have pulled him out of the confessional. The bride and groom are well aware of the Church policy. The groom’s father was using the “f” word BEFORE they were about to go down the aisle. There are a lot of weddings in my Church and I have never encountered this before. If they didn’t have any respect for the Church and God, they certainly were not going to have respect for me and my requests on behalf of the Church. I was very polite to them, reminding them of the policy and asking them not to drink in the Church. They just kept on drinking. I like the idea of having to give a deposit in case they violate the policy - however, they pay a lot of Church fees to begin with and I’m not sure my pastor would agree with that. I’m just looking for suggestions because I am going to meet with my pastor when he comes back from vacation.
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Like you said the groom’s father using the f word in Church. This is a bunch of NO CLASS people. Anyone who cannot respect the Lord in his house respects no one! But make sure the next policy states that this can never happen again.
 
jmcrae said:
I am trying to figure out how cracking open a couple of beers wouldn’t be the height of rudeness at any formal occasion. Surely they don’t just routinely crack open beers where ever they happen to be, do they?
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Your idea of the rules of a “formal” occassion of this nature and other people’s idea of the rules are different.
 
MusicMan said:
Your idea of the rules of a “formal” occassion of this nature and other people’s idea of the rules are different.
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First off I think it is wrong wrong wrong for the groomsman to be so rude. \

However I can totally relate to musicman here. I have witnessed cultures right here in the U.S. of A that wouln’t think twice about taking a sip in the the gathering space of a church. Seeing that Music man is from the same area as I am, I can relate to him not being shocked that this would happen…he is after all a cheesehead. It is part of culture in cheesehead land. Bad or good it is part of the culture.
 
If there was a deposit they would not get it back.

I would have walked over to the cooler…shut it and asked the closest beer drinker…“out of respect in the house of God…please remove the coolers from the Church…there will be plenty of time for that at the reception” …and I would 😃

Boors are everywhere…as a planner you will be dealing with such people again.

Was their reception somewhere else or at the Church hall?

I have yet to be at a Catholic reception where there wasn’t any drinking, eating, dancing…music…and that continued hours after the bride and groom left the reception. 😛

Music Man…it must be cultural. It wasn’t until I came to CAF that I realized that the “garter toss” was a taboo by some at a wedding reception.

I have been to many an Italian and/or Irish Catholic reception and although the groomsmen weren’t drinking a cold one “in the Church”…they sure beat feet to the reception hall rather quickly. 😃

It also like that after any sacrament…Baptism, 1st Communion and Confirmation. Always big receptions.

I guess it’s less nowadays as the Italian and Irish just “blend” and the ethnicity has been lost.

Living in the south…I have been to Protestant weddings…no music, no dancing…cake and punch (non alcoholic)…and it’s over in about an hour. However, if you go to the parking lot…you’ll see alot of open “car trunks” with coolers in them.

Drinking inside the Church…a definate “no-no”. That was “crass”.
 
jpjd said:
If he persists in defying you, go to the bride. If no help there, go to the parents of the groom/bride. If no help there, call the police…
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That just sounds so whiny, to just keep complaining.
I would have waited until the priest was done with one confession then slipped in between two penitents to tell him the story.

It’s likely that the drunkenness of the groom could be grounds for annulment in the future when his alcoholism hits the fan in his marriage.

One person has to wait for a sacrament while the others don’t get to desecrate a sacrament.
 
My parish’s contract with the bride and groom specifically states that food and drink are not allowed in the church, and that smoking, drugs and alcohol are not permitted inside or around the church buildings or grounds at any time. There is also a time limit for using the church – for decoration, wedding itself and clean-up, the wedding party is given three hours max.

Perhaps the OP can recommend this for her parish’s contract, and a blank copy of the contract can be kept in the sacristy and shown to future defiant members of any wedding parties if this should ever happen again.

Perhaps the contract can also state that the wedding party must be respectful of the sacramental and other needs of the parish after the wedding is over, even if there are people cleaning up afterwards. After all, confessions were going on, and people were praying.

What I don’t understand is why the wedding party wanted to hang around inside the church (albeit the vestibule) after the wedding. Didn’t they have a reception party to go to?
 
quiet52 said:
My parish’s contract with the bride and groom specifically states that food and drink are not allowed in the church, and that smoking, drugs and alcohol are not permitted inside or around the church buildings or grounds at any time. There is also a time limit for using the church – for decoration, wedding itself and clean-up, the wedding party is given three hours max.

Perhaps the OP can recommend this for her parish’s contract, and a blank copy of the contract can be kept in the sacristy and shown to future defiant members of any wedding parties if this should ever happen again.

Perhaps the contract can also state that the wedding party must be respectful of the sacramental and other needs of the parish after the wedding is over, even if there are people cleaning up afterwards. After all, confessions were going on, and people were praying.

What I don’t understand is why the wedding party wanted to hang around inside the church (albeit the vestibule) after the wedding. Didn’t they have a reception party to go to?
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Maybe the Trolley Bus was five minutes late?
 
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