Dropping out of school?

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I put this in the vocations section because I wasn’t really sure where else it could go. I know I could ask this question on some other site, but I really like receiving advice from this site because I can get an opinion from people who have the same beliefs as me.

So I just turned 16 and I’m a sophomore in high school. I should be a junior, but I have to repeat sophomore year.

The reason why I have to repeat sophomore year isn’t because I get bad grades, because I have all A’s, but I have a lot of trouble with mental illness and I haven’t been able to do schoolwork (I’m homeschooled). Mainly my depression and ADHD make it so I can’t focus on schoolwork and I’m never motivated. (I have been diagnosed with these and I am taking medication but we haven’t found the solution yet.) I feel like I’ve been stuck in the same place for two years and I want to give up and drop out of school. I know I shouldn’t do that, I know I will regret it, but I honestly don’t know what to do at this point because I’m physically unable to do schoolwork. It’s hard to describe and I probably sound like I’m just a lazy teen but I swear that I’m just not capable of it right now.

I want to become a counselor and a youth minister and I know I need my education for that, but it feels so hopeless like I’ll never get there and I shouldn’t even try. I’ve prayed and asked God to help me but it hasn’t changed anything (yet, at least). I just feel really alone in my situation and I don’t know what to do. Help?
 
Yeah, they’re not really sure what to do either. I know they won’t let me drop out though.
 
Have you always been homeschooled? I’m wondering if attending a brick-and-mortar school might help you by providing structure, a new environment, even some distractions from your depression. I know distractions can also be, well, distracting for someone with ADHD, but you might also qualify for some extra school support to get you through.

Talk with your parents about it and see if they’d be willing to look into school possibilities near you. My son switched to a charter school last year and is just doing great now! Just never know what’s possible until you look.

God bless you.
 
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We have talked about sending me to a school next semester, the only problem is I have to complete the first semester before I can do that. But thank you so much for your advice and kind words! 🙂
 
Hello Catholic12,

While I wasn’t homeschooled, I had almost the exact same problem. I had severe depression and ADHD from the age of 11 to well into my college years. I almost failed a good deal of courses in High School not because I didn’t know the material, but because I couldn’t do the homework. I know from experience that you just have to find a system that works for you. I was near the bottom of my class in ranking, but still got into all my colleges of choice because I explained my struggle overcoming my ADHD and depression on my college entrance applications and had good SAT and ACT scores.

I would suggest doing your sophmore year over again. Don’t drop out. But as you already know the subjects and won’t have to study as much, maybe you could use that time to study for the GED. You wouldn’t have to do any homework for the extra subjects, but simply take the final exam. If you pass the exams at sixteen or seventeen and explain your struggles with your illnesses and back up your intelligence with SAT and ACT scores (make sure you do ACT too, as it is generally the one ADHD sufferers do better on), I would be pretty sure Colleges would jump to get you into their program. In college, the primary emphasis is on what you know, not busywork, so it is much easier to juggle ADHD at least from a homework perspective.

Now, these struggles may actually make you a better counselor and youth minister than someone who went straight through high school without problems. They give you strength in overcoming them. They give you opportunities for encouragement of your peers and if I was your parish’s Youth Minister, I would look favorably on these trials as life experience, being dealt a bad hand and still making the best of it.

In the meantime, for your depression, I would like to recommend a book. It may actually help you in your counseling and peer ministry. It’s called “Healing Wounded Emotions: Overcoming Life’s Hurts” by Fr. Martin Padovani, SVD. He is a Divine Word Missionary who is a registered and practicing therapist. It helped me to overcome some of my issues stemming from that point in my life and it may help you too. It wouldn’t hurt to try.

Don’t give up hope! God still has a plan for us, even though we have depression and ADHD. That plan will just be different than the one for everyone else. It is no better or no worse. Just different. If you follow God’s plan, it will always turn out spectacularly in the end.

I will offer next week’s Liturgy of the Hours for you.

God Bless,
Br. Ben, CRM
 
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Hey buddy I’m a 30 year old guy and I dropped out in the beginning of my Junior year of HS when I was 16 and got my GED. I’m busy right now but I’ll pray for you and we will speak more in the near future. Keep your head up buddy.
 
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The beauty of being homeschooled is that it can be tailor made for your needs right now. Rather than taking on a full load, maybe focus on the subjects that you know you can handle right now in small bites that are manageable. Or perhaps you can just do math and composition. If you can get just those two in, it would be manageable to add in other classes as you are able. Focus on what you can do rather than what you cannot.
 
Instead of thinking of it as “dropping out of school,” perhaps you could look at the big picture. You could think of yourself as healing properly, taking some time to pursue another goal, squeezing something else in that is of value to you. Think of it this way: if you’re just spinning your wheels anyways, it’s better for you to stop school for a bit and get better. But you still need a goal, and you still need to be motivated.

Some ideas I have for you: take up a new sport; travel somewhere, even if it’s only one hour away from your home; take on some volunteer work; take on a part-time job.

If you do stay in school, perhaps you can find a tutor.
 
Thank you 🙂 I am definitely a visual learner and when I’m able to focus I love taking detailed notes! I just have been unable to do so.
 
Persons with ADHD have to be treated differently than neurotypicals in schooling. Since you’re a Visual learner, have you noticed what is going on inside your head while trying to focus? Do you need glasses or an upgrade on your prescription? Also, check out the “Multiple Intelligences” (not the same as Dissociative Personality Disorder).

I have ADD, and my son has ADHD. I finally noticed, by the Grace of God, that I experience a sort of dizziness when it comes to the focusing process. Once I go through that, which takes about 30 minutes, depending on the subject matter, I can then focus for hours.

Are you hydrated?
Has your hearing been tested? Sensitive hearing can lead to depression.
Cut your in-seat time by 15 minutes. Get up and walk around.

I know depression can lead to utter “uselessness”, but if someone can exercise, or even walk, with you, it would go a long way to getting the blood pumping and air circulating.

Blessings,
Mrs Cloisters OP
Lay Dominican
http://cloisters.tripod.com/
http://cloisters.tripod.com/charity/
http://cloisters.tripod.com/holyangels/id9.html/
 
Remember that a diploma is a key that unlocks doors. You need to figure out what doors you want opened-- and then figure out what key will unlock them. If you want to be a counselor or a youth minister, and you don’t need an undergrad degree to pursue those paths, then you might look into what it takes to get your GED early. I homeschooled for high school, and since I didn’t graduate from an accredited high school, I didn’t get a high school diploma— I had to get my GED. If you’re homeschooling via an online school, you might have to complete the usual x hours of high school curriculum, but if you’re not trying to qualify for a university’s admissions program, it becomes less of an issue-- so you may well be able to just get the GED earlier than usual. See what the rules are.

Also remember that time will pass, regardless of what we do. So we can either spend our time working towards our goal, or feeling immobilized. I know your depression and ADHD definitely have an effect on your motivation/immobility, but you know best how to take those into effect. Rather than focusing on how you feel at the moment, look at the big picture, and say, “This is where I want to end up.” Then figure out what bite-sized goals you need to get through on your path. Write them all down… and cross them off as you accomplish them. You may be able to plan your path in three-month chunks, or one-month chunks, or weekly chunks… but break it down into bite-sized pieces, so that you can focus on each teeny little piece of the big picture at once… and occasionally look back at all your accomplishments that are behind you, so that you can see that yes, you’re progressing, even if it doesn’t quite feel like it.

Good luck!
 
Like others have mentioned, you may be able to sit your GED now—and even if you do fail, you could study that specific subject and then re-sit it.

It looks like many universities and vocational colleges in the US accept GED, but you may want to check what the requirements are for your chosen Youth Ministry courses.

Everything pertaining to health and your education, specifically mental health, you should discuss with a doctor you trust, and your parents.

If you are interested in Youth Ministry, try becoming active in your parish or a parish which has a great Youth Ministry and work together with a priest who you trust to make that dream a reality.

🌷
 
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Hello.

Maybe the idea of “one day at a time” could help you. Just focus on what you can do for today and let the Lord take care of the rest.

I’m rooting for you and I know, from my own experience, how intense and debilitating depression can be. From your post you sound quite articulate.

Placing you in the enclosed garden of the most Sacred Heart of our Blessed Virgin Mary.
 
You say you’ve been diagnosed and are on medication, but you don’t mention other therapies. Are you seeing a psychologist or receiving counseling? Are there other treatments (non-medication) involved? These things are often complex problems that require complex solutions beyond the right pill combination. Others have made good suggestions, but you should talk to your doctor and parents about the “whole person” picture here, too.
 
With respect to you, I would gently suggest this is a matter to be discussed with your parents and, as needed, with your physician.

You are a minor child, and need their guidance — not a bunch of (name removed by moderator)ut from Internet strangers. They will make decisions for you based on their love for you.

Your ability to join this discussion thread shows your capability for your homework. Save your energy and motivation for that, and seek your parents guidance.

God bless,
Deacon Christopher
 
Blessings Sweetness,
Life is like climbing a mountain. The mountain has many twists & turns & areas of small pebbles, that make us slip backwards 2 ft, after advancing 1ft. We have to get to the top. Storms can come& make the climb more difficult.
Well, you’re on the bottom third of the mountain & a storm is brewing. We seek shelter in a cave. The mountain provides all our needs from Water & berries & nuts to caves for shelter.
While at this bottom third location w this storm brewing, you feel lonely & scared. Well, you are lucky, this is God’s Holy mountain. As the wind blows & the rain pours down, God’s voice softly speaks,” Come to Me, all ye that labor & are heavy laden, & I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you & learn from me. For my yoke is easy & my burden is light.” SIGH! Breathe in & out. Lie down on the floor & fall asleep. The storm has passed. The earth smells fresh & there is a rainbow.
Your life’s goal is the top. You have to get there. There will be hurdles along the way. There will be storms along the way. The terrain is a struggle. But this must be done.
So, NO! Don’t quit school. Your moment in time seems out of control but God is w you. Lie your head down & rest. Take care of your physical well being & mental health.There is a correct medicine for you! You could feel rejuvenated & focused. Just as the storm, this, too, shall pass away. You’ll be at the apex w the Sun (SON) & the rainbow. School completed.
Jeremiah 29/11. I have a plan for you. It is a good plan, w/o evil. It has a future and a purpose.
We can do ALL things through Christ, Jesus. Who strengthens us.
Dear ABBA, give this precious child, strength to move forward & focus. Give clarity in purpose & the ability to complete & retain the work before him/her. In Jesus name.
Amen
 
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