Dual Faith Baptisms

[perez5]

Hello,
I was just wondering if someone could help me out here. I am Catholic and am seeking to receive my confirmation after almost 15 years of having strayed from the Catholic faith. I want to baptize my sons in the catholic religion. The only problem is that the father to my youngest son is a Baptist and not Catholic. He does not want our son to be baptized in a faith that he may not like. His father wants him to choose when he becomes of age. I on the other hand, want to instill in my son the values and structure that the Catholic faith has instilled in me at a young age.
My question is: Is there a compromise for dual faith relationships within the Catholic Church? Or do I have to wait until my son reaches an age where he understands the differences between the two and chooses which faith to be baptized into?
This issue is having an effect on my relationship with his father. And I believe that I have no right to baptize our son without his full consent. But as I stated before he is Baptist and I am Catholic and we are both adamant that neither one of us will conform to the others religion.

 

[japhy]

The only problem is that the father to my youngest son is a Baptist and not Catholic. He does not want our son to be baptized in a faith that he may not like.

There is one baptism: baptism in a Baptist community or a Lutheran community or an Orthodox church or a Catholic church is baptism into Christ’s one body, the Church. A Catholic who doesn’t like the faith can stray from the Church if he so chooses. There is no reason to avoid giving your son the gift of grace that comes in baptism, though.

How old is your son?

 

[palmas85]

Hello,
I was just wondering if someone could help me out here. I am Catholic and am seeking to receive my confirmation after almost 15 years of having strayed from the Catholic faith. I want to baptize my sons in the catholic religion. The only problem is that the father to my youngest son is a Baptist and not Catholic. He does not want our son to be baptized in a faith that he may not like. His father wants him to choose when he becomes of age. I on the other hand, want to instill in my son the values and structure that the Catholic faith has instilled in me at a young age.
My question is: Is there a compromise for dual faith relationships within the Catholic Church? Or do I have to wait until my son reaches an age where he understands the differences between the two and chooses which faith to be baptized into?
This issue is having an effect on my relationship with his father. And I believe that I have no right to baptize our son without his full consent. But as I stated before he is Baptist and I am Catholic and we are both adamant that neither one of us will conform to the others religion.

Once again more proof of the Churches wisdom in years back in prohibiting these marriages. In this type of situation, which is all too common, only the child suffers.

That being said, why do you believe that you have no right to baptize your son without his full consent? The baptism is not for your husband, it is for the eternal soul of your son.

What about your responsibility to your son as a mother? Doesn’t that count for anything?

 

[chrisb]

Hello,
I was just wondering if someone could help me out here. I am Catholic and am seeking to receive my confirmation after almost 15 years of having strayed from the Catholic faith. I want to baptize my sons in the catholic religion. The only problem is that the father to my youngest son is a Baptist and not Catholic. He does not want our son to be baptized in a faith that he may not like. His father wants him to choose when he becomes of age. I on the other hand, want to instill in my son the values and structure that the Catholic faith has instilled in me at a young age.
My question is: Is there a compromise for dual faith relationships within the Catholic Church? Or do I have to wait until my son reaches an age where he understands the differences between the two and chooses which faith to be baptized into?
This issue is having an effect on my relationship with his father. And I believe that I have no right to baptize our son without his full consent. But as I stated before he is Baptist and I am Catholic and we are both adamant that neither one of us will conform to the others religion.

Grace and Peace,

My wife and I are not unlike you and your husband. Both our mothers’ grew up Roman Catholic and our fathers are Baptists. We both were raised nominally Baptists. After our marriage in the Baptist Church I began to study our faith and after a few years I found myself entering into the Roman Church. My wife was supportive but didn’t follow me to Rome.

I was still in the Catechumenate while my wife was pregnant with our daughter and was a neonate when we had our daughter. I remember the vows I spoke concerning raising any of our children Roman Catholic and I remember talking to my wife about this very thing during Holy Week before my Baptism and Confirmation into the Roman Church.

With that said we were not at the point where Infant Baptism was acceptable with my wife and her family. In fact, her mother felt that our daughter should have the choice between being Catholic or being Baptist. I told her that I have made vows before God Almighty that I would raise my children Roman Catholic and that I felt it the True Faith. On not to few occasions we came to heated discussions about this and eventually, out of respect for my wife and family, I waited till my daughter was just out of kindergarden when she asked me if she could be Baptized. Well, far be it for me to come between one of these little ones and our Lord and Saviour. She was Baptized in the Roman Church with both sides of the family present and content. Our next child, God Willing, will be Baptized as an infact in the ancient tradition of the Roman Church but I must admit that waiting was the best thing for us. My wife now attends at our Roman Parish and she even helps out in the CCD program our daughter attends on Wednesdays. She’s growing more and more into the Roman Church and I feel, in time, God Willing, she will join her family formally as a Roman Catholic.

Be patient with your husband. It is very likely he feels alienated by the idea that you and the child might share something which he is not able to share at this time. Pray about it and trust in our Lord and Saviour and speak with your Parish Priest on the matter. He will help you and your husband navigate through this challenge with wisdom and grace.

Peace and God Bless.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Hello,
I was just wondering if someone could help me out here. I am Catholic and am seeking to receive my confirmation after almost 15 years of having strayed from the Catholic faith. I want to baptize my sons in the catholic religion. The only problem is that the father to my youngest son is a Baptist and not Catholic. He does not want our son to be baptized in a faith that he may not like. His father wants him to choose when he becomes of age. I on the other hand, want to instill in my son the values and structure that the Catholic faith has instilled in me at a young age.
My question is: Is there a compromise for dual faith relationships within the Catholic Church? Or do I have to wait until my son reaches an age where he understands the differences between the two and chooses which faith to be baptized into?
This issue is having an effect on my relationship with his father. And I believe that I have no right to baptize our son without his full consent. But as I stated before he is Baptist and I am Catholic and we are both adamant that neither one of us will conform to the others religion.

You not only have a right but also an obligation to Baptize your children in your Faith (Catholic). You call him the "father’ of your son but not your husband? If he is not your husband basically he has no say in the matter. If he is your husband then he agreed to not interfere in your obligation as a condition for the Marriage permission from the Bishop.

 

[Phemie]

If he is your husband then he agreed to not interfere in your obligation as a condition for the Marriage permission from the Bishop.

Not unless the bishop specifically required it for his diocese for the church has not required such an agreement since the 1983 Code of Canon Law. The non-Catholic is only informed of the promise made by the Catholic and asked if he/she understands.

 

[OldRedleg]

Get the child baptized, even if a Baptist Minister does it. As long as the Trinitarian formula is used with water it will be a valid and licit Christian baptism. Your first responsibility is to obtain the grace of baptism for the child

The Catechism says:

*The sacramental bond of the unity of Christians

1271 Baptism constitutes the foundation of communion among all Christians, including those who are not yet in full communion with the Catholic Church: “For men who believe in Christ and have been properly baptized are put in some, though imperfect, communion with the Catholic Church. Justified by faith in Baptism, [they] are incorporated into Christ; they therefore have a right to be called Christians, and with good reason are accepted as brothers by the children of the Catholic Church.” “Baptism therefore constitutes the sacramental bond of unity existing among all who through it are reborn.”*

The greater problem is the ultimate spiritual development of the child. You have an obligation to instruct and raise him in the Catholic Faith. This matter should have been discussed in detail before you got married.

When my wife and I got married 26 years ago I was Methodist and she was Catholic. I agreed to raise our children in the Catholic faith at the time because she was required to make a promise to do so by the Church. For me, at the time, it was only important that our children be brought up in the Christian faith. I ultimately converted to Catholicism after 12 years of marriage.

Try to appeal to your husband along the lines that raising him in the Catholic Church will enrich him with good Christian values, faith, and morals.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Not unless the bishop specifically required it for his diocese for the church has not required such an agreement since the 1983 Code of Canon Law. The non-Catholic is only informed of the promise made by the Catholic and asked if he/she understands.

I’m sorry what I meant was not clear.

If he is your husband then he agreed to not interfere in your obligation to practice the Catholic faith as a condition for the Marriage permission from the Bishop.
Baptizing your children in the Catholic is part of practicing the Catholic Faith, and it is her obligation not his.

 

[palmas85]

Get the child baptized, even if a Baptist Minister does it. As long as the Trinitarian formula is used with water it will be a valid and licit Christian baptism. Your first responsibility is to obtain the grace of baptism for the child

The Catechism says:

*The sacramental bond of the unity of Christians

1271 Baptism constitutes the foundation of communion among all Christians, including those who are not yet in full communion with the Catholic Church: “For men who believe in Christ and have been properly baptized are put in some, though imperfect, communion with the Catholic Church. Justified by faith in Baptism, [they] are incorporated into Christ; they therefore have a right to be called Christians, and with good reason are accepted as brothers by the children of the Catholic Church.” “Baptism therefore constitutes the sacramental bond of unity existing among all who through it are reborn.”*

The greater problem is the ultimate spiritual development of the child. You have an obligation to instruct and raise him in the Catholic Faith. This matter should have been discussed in detail before you got married.

When my wife and I got married 26 years ago I was Methodist and she was Catholic. I agreed to raise our children in the Catholic faith at the time because she was required to make a promise to do so by the Church. For me, at the time, it was only important that our children be brought up in the Christian faith. I ultimately converted to Catholicism after 12 years of marriage.

Try to appeal to your husband along the lines that raising him in the Catholic Church will enrich him with good Christian values, faith, and morals.

This is the issue. Baptists by and large do not practice infant or child baptisms believing that such a decision must be made by a mature mind. Catholics on the other hand practice infant or child baptism regularly. I doubt the poster could even find a baptist preacher that would baptize the child.

Of course if all else fails the poster could baptize the child herself.

The real issue here is deeper than the baptism. It is the outright refusal on the part of the father/husband? to even consider having the child baptized an raised in the Catholic faith/

That my friend is highly problematic and is the real issue here.

It is most interesting to note that many protestant groups do not accept the validity of Catholic baptisms and require re-baptism when a Catholic converts to their belief…

 

[Cluny]

I was still in the Catechumenate while my wife was pregnant with our daughter and was a neonate when we had our daughter.

That would be a medical miracle.

I think the word you’re looking for is neoPHYTE!

 

[Phemie]

I’m sorry what I meant was not clear.

If he is your husband then he agreed to not interfere in your obligation to practice the Catholic faith as a condition for the Marriage permission from the Bishop.
Baptizing your children in the Catholic is part of practicing the Catholic Faith, and it is her obligation not his.

The Catholic has to promise that a mixed marriage is not a danger his/her faith and that he/she will baptize any children and raise them Catholic.

The non-Catholics are simply informed of this promise and asked if they understands what it means. They don’t have to agree to it because the Church recognizes that they have as much right to raise the child in their own faith as the Catholic does in his/her own.

 

[palmas85]

The Catholic has to promise that a mixed marriage is not a danger his/her faith and that he/she will baptize any children and raise them Catholic.

The non-Catholics are simply informed of this promise and asked if they understands what it means. They don’t have to agree to it because the Church recognizes that they have as much right to raise the child in their own faith as the Catholic does in his/her own.

So let me get this right. The Catholic Church requires that the Catholic promise to baptize and raise the child Catholic and the non Catholic is merely informed of this because the Church rrecognizes that the non Catholic has as much right to raise the child in their faith as the Catholic does for theirs. .

Then it would seem to me that the promise the Catholic has to make really means nothing at all, because if the other party doesn’t agree with it then the Catholic obviously can’t keep the promise he or she made to the Church. And if the Catholic doesn’t have to keep the promise, why make it in the first place? That really doesn’t sound like something the Church would require someone to do. It really places the Catholic in a very unstable position.

It really doesn’t sound like much of a promise if it can be disregarded so easily solely on the whim of the non Catholic spouse.

Your scenario doesn’t make a lot of sense. Sorry.

 

[PhilotheaZ]

The only problem is that the father to my youngest son is a Baptist and not Catholic. He does not want our son to be baptized in a faith that he may not like. His father wants him to choose when he becomes of age.

Since the father is so openminded, perhaps he would like to wait until the child is old enough to decide for himself whether he would like to go to school or not.

And every child should be able to decide whether to go to the doctor when he is sick or needs immunizations.

And why not let the child decide for himself whether to eat nutritious food or junk food?

As parents, we make decisions for the welfare of our children all the time. Left to themselves, children would rarely make the right choices.

And the risk of the child dying without the benefit of baptism is too great to wait until the child is mature enough to make that decision on his own.

 

[Phemie]

So let me get this right. The Catholic Church requires that the Catholic promise to baptize and raise the child Catholic and the non Catholic is merely informed of this because the Church rrecognizes that the non Catholic has as much right to raise the child in their faith as the Catholic does for theirs. .

Then it would seem to me that the promise the Catholic has to make really means nothing at all, because if the other party doesn’t agree with it then the Catholic obviously can’t keep the promise he or she made to the Church. And if the Catholic doesn’t have to keep the promise, why make it in the first place? That really doesn’t sound like something the Church would require someone to do. It really places the Catholic in a very unstable position.

It really doesn’t sound like much of a promise if it can be disregarded so easily solely on the whim of the non Catholic spouse.

Your scenario doesn’t make a lot of sense. Sorry.

What can I say? Before the 1983 Code the non-Catholic had to promise that the children would be raised Catholic – my husband had to do so. Since 1983 such is not the case and the teaching is ‘do all possible to raise the child Catholic’ but not at the detriment of the marriage.

Can. 1125 The local ordinary can grant a permission of this kind if there is a just and reasonable cause. He is not to grant it unless the following conditions have been fulfilled:

1/ the Catholic party is to declare that he or she is prepared to remove dangers of defecting from the faith and is to make a sincere promise to do all in his or her power so that all offspring are baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church;

2/ the other party is to be informed at an appropriate time about the promises which the Catholic party is to make, in such a way that it is certain that he or she is truly aware of the promise and obligation of the Catholic party;

The non-Catholic is not required to agree, only understand what the Catholic’s promise means.

 

[palmas85]

What can I say? Before the 1983 Code the non-Catholic had to promise that the children would be raised Catholic – my husband had to do so. Since 1983 such is not the case and the teaching is ‘do all possible to raise the child Catholic’ but not at the detriment of the marriage.

The non-Catholic is not required to agree, only understand what the Catholic’s promise means.

In other words it is totally meaningless and is of no consequence whatsoever…

So why even do it?

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

So let me get this right. The Catholic Church requires that the Catholic promise to baptize and raise the child Catholic and the non Catholic is merely informed of this because the Church rrecognizes that the non Catholic has as much right to raise the child in their faith as the Catholic does for theirs. .

Then it would seem to me that the promise the Catholic has to make really means nothing at all, because if the other party doesn’t agree with it then the Catholic obviously can’t keep the promise he or she made to the Church. And if the Catholic doesn’t have to keep the promise, why make it in the first place? That really doesn’t sound like something the Church would require someone to do. It really places the Catholic in a very unstable position.

It really doesn’t sound like much of a promise if it can be disregarded so easily solely on the whim of the non Catholic spouse.

Your scenario doesn’t make a lot of sense. Sorry.

You are correct and there is much more to it. If the non-Catholic states that they will have nothing to do with their children being Baptized Catholic. Or that they intend to convert their spouse, etc. The pastor preparing the “couple” sould discourage the Catholic or require them to re-think what they are doing. Canon Law requires that the Bishop be satisfied the there is no danger to the faith of the Catholic before giving his permission.