Dwelling on thoughts/ attractions

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Okay, so I know it’s not a sin to be attracted to women. In fact, it’s a good thing, because women are beautiful. But often it feels like my attractions to certain women I know are fickle and sometimes change by the day, or even at different times of the day. I know all of these women personally; I’ve met most of them through the Church and consider all of them friends. And these crushes are totally pure; I harbor no lustful thoughts about them (there’s quite a difference between “she’s beautiful” and “I want to do (blank) with her”. The latter I avoid.)

But I couldn’t sleep last night, and was thinking for several hours about a youth minister I know. She is 29, 10 years older than me, and I think she’s a good-looking woman. But is it wrong for me to dwell on this thought and think about it for a long time? I didn’t have any fantasies; I just thought about how pretty she is and how I think she’s a great person and role model. I thanked God putting her in my life. Your thoughts?
 
I think it really depends on the circumstances. While what you are describing sounds innocent enough, it would not be if said youth minister is married. Or if you are. Or if this were a same sex attraction. Do you see what I mean? We don’t have much control over who we are attracted to, but let’s say I am attracted to someone other than my spouse. Dwelling on that would be harmful to my marriage, and even if it was “innocent” (ie, not lustful) it would still fall under the category of coveting, I think. You are probably okay, though.
 
BcuzISaidSo said:
I think it really depends on the circumstances. While what you are describing sounds innocent enough, it would not be if said youth minister is married. Or if you are. Or if this were a same sex attraction. Do you see what I mean? We don’t have much control over who we are attracted to, but let’s say I am attracted to someone other than my spouse. Dwelling on that would be harmful to my marriage, and even if it was “innocent” (ie, not lustful) it would still fall under the category of coveting, I think. You are probably okay, though.
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No, she’s single, I’m single, and I’m a guy.
 
Well, when I was young and unmarried and was strongly attracted to a beautiful woman, I would go and try to ask her out.

When I was flatly turned down, that cured my condition in a hurry . . .

Alex
 
That’s not wrong at all if it’s a pure non-lustful crush. You should see how other people treat women. I’ve met people who treat women like objects. It’s digusting. What you’re feeling is actually a positive thing, it doesn’t go against any teaching of Jesus, the Bible or Church.

God bless though,

David
 
followingtheway said:
That’s not wrong at all if it’s a pure non-lustful crush. You should see how other people treat women. I’ve met people who treat women like objects. It’s digusting. What you’re feeling is actually a positive thing, it doesn’t go against any teaching of Jesus, the Bible or Church.

God bless though,

David
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Yes, it appalls me the way so many men treat women these days. The names they call them, the way music and pop culture makes them look, it’s all vile. I gave a speech for a school project on why porn is so harmful, especially to women.

Coincidentally, I didn’t get a date until months after I had stopped thinking of women in such a way.
 
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