E. M. Rudely Admonished My Family During the Final Hymn of the Mass Today

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elsker

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I need some advice from e.m.'s who routinely deal with disabled communicants …

I go to a parish with my family and usually what happens is Father will bring communion to the disabled pews and the e.m. follows with the precious blood. Today that didn’t happen and my daughter asked the e.m. if she could bring the precious blood to the pew. The e.m. said no. My sister had to climb past the people in her pew to take me to receive the precious blood. This was also disruptive because it held up the line. I was so embarrassed that we just stood in the back until everyone was done.

During the last hymn while we were all singing that same e.m. came up and rudely stated that she would not bring the precious blood to the pew. When my daughter asked her to speak to me instead of over my head she rolled her eyes and started in anew. She was very agitated and kept yelling at my daughter (meanwhile the choir was still singing and all that). In my mind mass is not over until the hymn is finished.

Two questions: What is the protocol for dispensing communion to the disabled?

What is the protocol for correcting communicants who may not know they are receiving communion incorrectly?

Thanks for your help. Blessings Elsker
 
Mass is concluded immediately after the celebrant venerates the altar with a kiss.

To answer both of your questions at once: the protocols are decided by whatever the bishop sets down as particular law or guidelines for the diocese. In absence of these, the protocols are whatever the pastor decides is best for his parish.
 
Ask your pastor about this. Even if the EMHC was technically correct in following instructions given to the EMsHC when they were trained, the pastor will want to know about this incident, because carrying out his policy was handled so badly. If the EMHC was incorrect–which the seemingly arbitrary policy on this seems to indicate is very possible–then it may be a problem in the training that the pastor will want to address generally.
 
Elizium23 said:
Mass is concluded immediately after the celebrant venerates the altar with a kiss.
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The Mass was concluded, but the singing was not. The eucharistic minister said “no” once. The reiteration could have either waited or else been omitted entirely (which would have been far preferable). There was no need to interrupt the music for that.
 
EasterJoy said:
The Mass was concluded, but the singing was not. The eucharistic minister said “no” once. The reiteration could have either waited or else been omitted entirely (which would have been far preferable). There was no need to interrupt the music for that.
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And what was awful about it was that the e. m. approached us not the other way around. I was fine with her saying “no” and would never have said anything more to her during the mass or immediately afterward…

When I said “in my mind” the mass is over after the last hymn I wasn’t literally saying that I thought that’s when the mass ended. What I meant was out of respect I don’t think it is appropriate to have a conversation or whatever while the choir is still singing. I was singing as well and thought it rude that we were pounced on. She could have waited until the end of the hymn for the smack down.
 
EasterJoy said:
Ask your pastor about this. Even if the EMHC was technically correct in following instructions given to the EMsHC when they were trained, the pastor will want to know about this incident, because carrying out his policy was handled so badly. If the EMHC was incorrect–which the seemingly arbitrary policy on this seems to indicate is very possible–then it may be a problem in the training that the pastor will want to address generally.
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This, and forgive (let go of resentment).
 
It is unfortunate that this happened, and you should not have been made to feel burdensome. The EMHC’s behavior should be brought to the attention of the pastor.

That being said, however:
elsker said:
I go to a parish with my family and usually what happens is Father will bring communion to the disabled pews and the e.m. follows with the precious blood. Today that didn’t happen and my daughter asked the e.m. if she could bring the precious blood to the pew. The e.m. said no. My sister had to climb past the people in her pew to take me to receive the precious blood. This was also disruptive because it held up the line. I was so embarrassed that we just stood in the back until everyone was done
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You are not explicit, but I presume Father administered the species of bread as usual. If that is the case, your sister did not *have to climb over *anyone, because you do not *have to *receive the species of wine.

Perhaps there is a new policy in place, and the precious blood is no longer to be proffered to those in the pews? Whether such would be the most pastoral decision is a topic for another thread, but there is no obligation that the precious blood be proffered to all nor to any of the faithful.

Perhaps there is no policy in place, and it is up to the discretion of individual EMHC’s?

In either case, the right place to learn of such a policy, or to suggest a policy be established, is through the pastor.

:twocents:
tee
 
Even if she is correct, I would speak to her outside of earshot of my family and say “I don’t appreciate the tone and manner in which you spoke to me and my family”.
 
Most people in my parish who we either know are regulars that need Communion brought to them or visitors that make it known to someone that they or someone in their group needs Communion - most of them sit at the end of the row or a seat or 2 in to make it easier for when the EMHC comes by. I would let your priest know about the incident unless you have a pastoral admin or similar role of person that handles ministries so either the policy can be tweaked or different.
 
tee_eff_em said:
It is unfortunate that this happened, and you should not have been made to feel burdensome. The EMHC’s behavior should be brought to the attention of the pastor.

That being said, however:

You are not explicit, but I presume Father administered the species of bread as usual. If that is the case, your sister did not have to climb over anyone, because you do not *have to *receive the species of wine.

Perhaps there is a new policy in place, and the precious blood is no longer to be proffered to those in the pews? Whether such would be the most pastoral decision is a topic for another thread, but there is no obligation that the precious blood be proffered to all nor to any of the faithful.

Perhaps there is no policy in place, and it is up to the discretion of individual EMHC’s?

In either case, the right place to learn of such a policy, or to suggest a policy be established, is through the pastor.

:twocents:
tee
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👍

Yes, the proper thing would be to go to the pastor and let him know hat happened
 
I’m sorry to hear about what happened.

The issue is not was the Mass over (the GIRM, or Missal, or even policies of the Bishop), should the music have been interrupted, did someone have to climb over someone else, or was the EM improperly trained.

The issue simply was a lack of charity, and maybe a lack of humility.

And, as for the lack of charity, it may not have even been intentional.

If you must assume the worst, and the EM was being willfully and intentionally uncharitable, the correct action is to pray for and to forgive the EM.

Peace and All Good!
 
elsker said:
I need some advice from e.m.'s who routinely deal with disabled communicants …

I go to a parish with my family and usually what happens is Father will bring communion to the disabled pews and the e.m. follows with the precious blood. Today that didn’t happen and my daughter asked the e.m. if she could bring the precious blood to the pew. The e.m. said no. My sister had to climb past the people in her pew to take me to receive the precious blood. This was also disruptive because it held up the line. I was so embarrassed that we just stood in the back until everyone was done.

During the last hymn while we were all singing that same e.m. came up and rudely stated that she would not bring the precious blood to the pew. When my daughter asked her to speak to me instead of over my head she rolled her eyes and started in anew. She was very agitated and kept yelling at my daughter (meanwhile the choir was still singing and all that). In my mind mass is not over until the hymn is finished.

Two questions: What is the protocol for dispensing communion to the disabled?

What is the protocol for correcting communicants who may not know they are receiving communion incorrectly?

Thanks for your help. Blessings Elsker
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This person was very insensitive and rude and poorly instructed. I would bring this incident to the pastor. I’m sure he would not approve what had happened. Sorry that you and your daughter were treated that way.

Linus2nd
 
Yup.
At our parish we don’t bring the Precious Blood for fear of spilling. Period.
I think both sides likely over-reacted.
There’s been some great replies.
Don’t let this upset you one moment further.
Peace.
 
pianistclare said:
Yup.
At our parish we don’t bring the Precious Blood for fear of spilling. Period.
I think both sides likely over-reacted.
There’s been some great replies.
Don’t let this upset you one moment further.
Peace.
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AMEN, in our parish they don’t ever bring the Precious Blood to the back of the Church. The Sacred Host is both Body and Blood of Our Lord. What’s the fuss? God Bless, Memaw
 
Memaw said:
AMEN, in our parish they don’t ever bring the Precious Blood to the back of the Church. The Sacred Host is both Body and Blood of Our Lord. What’s the fuss? God Bless, Memaw
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I think, according to the OP, the fuss was not receiving or not, the fuss was the rudeness of the EM.
 
Neofight said:
I think, according to the OP, the fuss was not receiving or not, the fuss was the rudeness of the EM.
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Personally, I thought the sister was rude for making a fuss about it.She could have stayed put !! God Bless, Memaw
 
I definitely think that the em was rude and wrong in behavior. I’m sorry that happened to you. I agree with other posters to talk with someone, but I would just take the matter (kindly) to the em themselves. It may be that they totally misunderstood the situation- its possible. Sometimes that happens too and by going to the person first instead of the pastor shows respect for that possibility that maybe they didn’t know they were in the wrong. It gives them the ability to make amends and not get in trouble and not thought well of if its indeed a mistake. If after talking with them and they still are rude or don’t understand that they were rude or don’t care to hear you, then take it to the pastor. I know it is very difficult to talk directly to a person whom we feel has hurt us, but I do believe this is what Jesus wants.

Matthew 18:15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

" Do onto others as you would like to have done onto you." - make room for the possibility that this person was mistaken, or had a bad day, or something.
 
Memaw said:
Personally, I thought the sister was rude for making a fuss about it.She could have stayed put !! God Bless, Memaw
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I would agree, the ‘fuss’ and the disturbance began with the OP’s sister climbed past people and held up the communion line.
 
An EM acting this way…I guess everyone wants to run something.
 
So someone was rude. 🤷

I’d need a psychiatrist if I took it personally every time someone was rude with me and I have done a lot worse to other people.

They nailed our Lord to a tree. Get over it and go on with life.

-Tim-
 
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