Easter Mass

[misspriss]

What time do you go to Mass on Easter with small children? Do you go to the vigil or to early morning?

I am Catholic, DH is not. He goes to mass with me if we take both kids, if it is just one child and/or neither, I go alone. This is fine. I love the idea of taking all my kids to mass with me, but the application is difficult. I know I am not required to bring them to mass at such a young age, and thus I don’t always. I know they will learn better if they go often, but frankly I just couldn’t do it. I have anxiety issues as well and that probably doesn’t help.

Anyway, I asked DH if he would be going to Easter mass with me and he said he figured he would be. I haven’t been to the vigil mass since before we had kids, when I joined the church. It would be the early AM mass if we go and take the kids.

However, I was considering putting the children to bed and going to the vigil on my own. The church I regularly attend has the vigil at 8pm and the AM at 8:30AM. If we went to the AM this would be where and the kids would not be finished with going to bed in order for me to make the 8. However, I have gone to a TLM church that has the vigil at 10:30pm and a midnight mass, which would keep me up late but I could go after the kids are asleep. Their AM is at 7AM and I don’t think I could get the kids up and out that early.

Would it be awful of me to go to Easter mass alone? I want to go as a family, but right now my husband is not catholic, my kids are young and stressful to have at mass, and I have an opportunity to go to the vigil mass, not just the vigil but a TLM service, that I could do alone.

 

[pensmama87]

I am going to the vigil alone. I love it. We do midnight Mass for Christmas with the kids and they do fine, but the Easter Vigil is just early enough that they might get really wound up instead of sleeping. We’ll all go together as a family again on Easter morning.

Last year, DH and I went to the vigil together and his parents watched the kids.

We usually end up splitting up like this because the Triduum services just fall at really bad times. It’s just what it is with all little kids.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

You have no obligation to take small children to the long Easter Mass. I have always loved the Easter Vigil as the greatest Mass of the year, although it is also the longest. If your husband has any interest at all in Catholicism, you should try to take him.

Note that EWTN is showing the Easter Vigil at the Basilica in Washington DC at 7 CT and the Vatican City St. Peters Easter Mass at Midnight CT. Watching one of those with your husband could be a good option also.

 

[misspriss]

If your husband is indicating that he is willing to go to Mass with you on Easter Sunday, in my opinion this is your priority. Your priority is not to find a Mass that you will personally find the most fulfilling, the priority is to encourage your husband to grow in faith along with you, if that is at all possible.

Be gracious, tell your husband that you love him! Thank him for being a good man and for being willing to go to Mass with you even though he is not Catholic! Tell him that you admire him as a husband and as a father. Tell him what a wonderful example he is setting for his children. Tell him that it will bring you much joy to attend Mass with him. Get up extra early on Easter Sunday so the morning is not stressful, have the children’s clothes ready so people can take their time. Get to Mass and relax you will be there with your husband this is a blessing.

Willing is a strong word. His exact words were “I didn’t think I had a choice”, which made me feel kind of low. I’m trying to avoid FORCING him or making him feel forced, but I’ve pretty much already done that I think.

It’s not getting ready that is the problem. DS is not quite old enough to behave through an entire mass (3), especially not a longer one. I’ve tried sitting in the front, the back, the middle…doesn’t matter. He has to be constantly reminded to behave, although he can. You just have to remind him every 3 minutes. DD has just reached the age where she doesn’t want to sit happily on your lap the whole mass anymore, she squirms constantly - it’s a workout just to keep her in your lap. It feels like having the kids at mass with us we are just constantly working to keep them behaved.

I would love for DH to be really willing to go to mass with me, to WANT to. I want him to see something in me that makes him want to be there, not to feel obligated to be there to be a child wrangler. It kind of hurt when he said he felt like he didn’t have a choice. I feel it is wrong of me to force him to go, it only creates negative feelings - him feeling forced and me feeling hurt that he doesn’t actually want to go. I don’t want to make him resent going.

 

[misspriss]

I am going to the vigil alone. I love it. We do midnight Mass for Christmas with the kids and they do fine, but the Easter Vigil is just early enough that they might get really wound up instead of sleeping. We’ll all go together as a family again on Easter morning.

Last year, DH and I went to the vigil together and his parents watched the kids.

We usually end up splitting up like this because the Triduum services just fall at really bad times. It’s just what it is with all little kids.

Maybe I’ll just do this! I can go to the vigil (and I agree, it is just the wrong time to get them wound up rather than sleepy) alone, miss out on some sleep personally, and then go to the AM service with the family, if DH would be willing to do it. That way I can also go to the TLM service myself, and go to the English one with DH.

Last year was the first year we didn’t do midnight mass for Christmas. We just had to get there so early just to get parking and a seat (about 1 hr early) we ended up having to watch the kid (just one the year before) for an extra hour, it was awful difficult. He was smaller and quieter then. This year we had two and said nope, just the AM.

 

[misspriss]

Thank you, your husband’s feelings were not clear to me from your original post.

I would still be as positive as I can with your husband. Even if you wind up going to Mass by yourself, I would give him a hug and tell him “Thank you” for being willing to go with you. Even though your husband told you he didn’t have a choice, you can tell him that YES, he actually did have a choice. I know of many non-Catholic spouses that refuse to attend Mass, and it makes Sundays and Holidays very difficult and stressful so please tell him that you are grateful for him. Even though he was less than gracious, if you show him love and gratitude it is a good thing! God bless.

Thanks again. I tried to be gracious in the OP about his response, but you are right it didn’t quite paint the whole picture. I always remember to thank him and be very grateful when he does go and is willing to go.

For years my sister and I prayed our dad would go to church with us (protestant church). I hardly remember this but my older sister does. I fell away and married before coming home to the true church and it makes me sad that my children and I may still be praying for daddy to come to church with us, just like my sisters and I were so many years ago. But maybe this is what God gave me, because of my particular experience in life.

 

[His_helpmeet]

What time do you go to Mass on Easter with small children? Do you go to the vigil or to early morning?

I am Catholic, DH is not. He goes to mass with me if we take both kids, if it is just one child and/or neither, I go alone. This is fine. I love the idea of taking all my kids to mass with me, but the application is difficult. I know I am not required to bring them to mass at such a young age, and thus I don’t always. I know they will learn better if they go often, but frankly I just couldn’t do it. I have anxiety issues as well and that probably doesn’t help.

Anyway, I asked DH if he would be going to Easter mass with me and he said he figured he would be. I haven’t been to the vigil mass since before we had kids, when I joined the church. It would be the early AM mass if we go and take the kids.

However, I was considering putting the children to bed and going to the vigil on my own. The church I regularly attend has the vigil at 8pm and the AM at 8:30AM. If we went to the AM this would be where and the kids would not be finished with going to bed in order for me to make the 8. However, I have gone to a TLM church that has the vigil at 10:30pm and a midnight mass, which would keep me up late but I could go after the kids are asleep. Their AM is at 7AM and I don’t think I could get the kids up and out that early.

Would it be awful of me to go to Easter mass alone? I want to go as a family, but right now my husband is not catholic, my kids are young and stressful to have at mass, and I have an opportunity to go to the vigil mass, not just the vigil but a TLM service, that I could do alone.

I would not recommend taking the little ones to Easter Vigil. Yes, it is very beautiful. I love it myself. But the problem (as PPs have stated) is that it’s also VERY lengthy - and much of the length is in the parts where we sit down and listen.

I would recommend taking them to the morning Mass. Although, indeed, you’re not required to take them, it is still very beneficial for them to come.

 

[Allegra]

We have always brought our children to the Easter Vigil, but this year we are leaving them with my sister because my oldest is two and I think it will just be too long for her. My younger son would probably be fine. He’s still so little that it doesn’t really matter where he is as long as he’s dry and fed. We are taking them both to Holy Thursday tonight, so we’ll see how that goes.