Eating meat this Friday at in-laws

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cat3gs

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Hey all,

Ok, quick question. This Friday we will be going to the in-laws to celebrate Christmas. They will be serving ham. My daughters and I dont eat meat on Fridays. Most of the people that will be there are not Catholic and the ones that are–not sure what they do on Fridays. Should my girls and I not eat the ham or offer something else up ? I dont want to come across as being holier than thou around that group but at the same time I dont want what other people think to stop me from doing what I normally do for my faith.

Now… which would be the bigger sacrifice…not eating ham on Friday ort he fact that I will be at the in-laws? 🙂 Dont get me wrong…great people. They are just incredibly boring -small talky kind of people. And yes, I am incredibly thankful that that is all they are:D

My way of thinking is just find something else to sacrifice. And if, what would you guys suggest be that sacrifice?

Ok, let fly with the suggestions.

Merry Christmas

JMJ
 
What about a rosary on the way to dinner (not sure how close you live to them)? 🙂
 
You will come across as holier than thou if you don’t eat the ham. If you were an Orthodox Jew, where this is an actual requirement of your faith to abstain, that would be different. But you are a Catholic, for whom the requirement is to offer another form of penance if one does not abstain from meat on Fridays. At least, that’s how I understand it. So you would not be following a requirement of your faith in refusing to eat the ham, you would just be causing strife and pointing out your difference, very obviously, to everyone around you. You might also insult your hosts. As there is no need to do any of that, don’t damage your relationships or your family’s perception of Catholicism by insisting upon doing it. I mean, you are choosing to go to a place you know serves meat on a Friday. You could have chosen to go a different day. So just be polite.
 
Can you just take some ham and hide it under some mashed potatoes or something? I know sounds childish, but at least you’ve taken the food that’s offered, and I doubt anyone will notice if you don’t eat it??

Or how about skipping dessert instead? or skipping the egg nog o something else that you like? Saying a rosary Is a great idea too. Since abstaining from meat of Fridays is something you’ve imposed upon yourself rather than something that is required of you, I think it’s fine to make a substitute sacrifice for this occasion, rather than offend by not eating the much beloved Christmas Ham.

(ps I hate ham and would hide it under my mashed potatoes regardless so I’m biased:p 😃 )
 
ITA with Basilik on this. Eat the meal that the host prepared and find a different form of penance. To refuse to eat the meat after someone has prepared it would be rude and a misrepresentation of Christian charity. As Catholics, we are asked to do some sort of penance on all Fridays of the year. The penitential act is a prayer not a ritualistic motion. God bless.
 
I have the same dilemma…
Though DH and DS do not keep Fridays, only I do. However being the Christmas season was thinking of skipping my meatless Friday.
We were invited to BILs house 2 days ago on the 26th not sure what they are serving.
Kevinsgirl suggestion is a good one. We normally tend to do that when we go on long drives ( this will be about an hour’s drive )
 
kevinsgirl said:
What about a rosary on the way to dinner (not sure how close you live to them)? 🙂
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My thoughts exactly. OP, you are right on this very special occasion to substitute a different sacrifice than abstaining from meat - you can do this the rest of the meals for that day though to keep the spirit of abstaining with your children and do explain to them why you are saying the Rosary and why you are going to eat the ham!

You are eating the ham because this is your celebration of a very important feast of the Church with Grandma and Grandpa!

Brenda V.
 
I don 't believe there are any pentitential requirements on Feast Days. The Feast Day takes priority.

Friday is a Feast Day.
 
I’m Byzantine Catholic and our priest made a point of telling us that our bishop has declared the Friday after Christmas a non-fasting day. Traditionally we also fast from meat (and dairy and eggs) on Fridays (as well as Wednesays) throughout the year, but because it falls after a holiday, and is in a festal time, our bishop has given us a dispensation and we are free of that obligation. We had the same situation the Friday after Thanksgiving. 😉

I agree with the others–be a gracious guest, eat the ham and find another form of penance, perhaps a rosary or giving up sweets the rest of the day. Dessert isn’t hard to pass up; you can just honestly say, “I am so full I can’t eat another bite!”
 
Hey,

Thanks to all who took the time to answer today…I know today is a bit crazy for some folks…I myself am already exhausted from making cookies…and Im on the verge of getting sick…yea!!!

The rosary is a good idea-except that my husband isnt Catholic and though he doesnt dislike all things Catholic it does make things uncomfortable sometimes. OOh…But he will just be getting off work…so he will be sleeping…

Ok Rosary it is…actually I have a Devine Mercy cd. I think I will play that!! Coolio…problem solved.

Again…thanks to all who answered.

JMJ
 
During the Octave of Christmas (as with Easter), we suspend penance because it is a feast. At least that’s how we’ve always done it in our family.
 
shannyk said:
Can you just take some ham and hide it under some mashed potatoes or something? I know sounds childish, but at least you’ve taken the food that’s offered, and I doubt anyone will notice if you don’t eat it??
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:eek:

I would absolutely notice this if someone did this at my home.

Please - do not be rude. Be a gracious guest, accept what is offered to you with kindness and thanksgiving, and do some other penance for the day.

~Liza
 
I agree with this – Christmas is not a penitential season. It is easy to forget about the Octave of Christmas in our society, where Christmas starts the day after Thanksgiving and ends on the 26th, but it truly is a feast!
bluerose said:
During the Octave of Christmas (as with Easter), we suspend penance because it is a feast. At least that’s how we’ve always done it in our family.
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bluerose said:
During the Octave of Christmas (as with Easter), we suspend penance because it is a feast. At least that’s how we’ve always done it in our family.
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That’s the rule. You are not supposed to fast during feasts. It is pretty strongly worded against fasting on feast days, if I remember correctly. The whole Octave of Christmas is a feast. (Same with the octave of Easter).

So, eat Ham in celebration of the Birth of our Lord.

P.S. There is a AAA post about this too.
 
Corki said:
You are not supposed to fast during feasts.
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I was wondering about this! I thought it was true, but didn’t have any backup for it.

That would kinda be why they are called “feast days” huh? 😃
 
lizaanne said:
:eek:

I would absolutely notice this if someone did this at my home.

Please - do not be rude. Be a gracious guest, accept what is offered to you with kindness and thanksgiving, and do some other penance for the day.

~Liza
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Gosh I wouldn’t! I’m too busy when I have guest to notice what’s left on their plates…but it was tongue in cheek advice anyway, the other suggestions make a lot more sense!

Happy ham eating…if you like ham that is…(something about pink meat I cannot stomach:blush: )
 
shannyk said:
Happy ham eating…if you like ham that is…(something about pink meat I cannot stomach:blush: )
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If it’s pink for a natural and understandable reason, like ham is from being smoked, then I am fine with it.

Now those WIERD pink hot dogs… I don’t know WHO eats those things!
 
cat3gs said:
Hey,

Thanks to all who took the time to answer today…I know today is a bit crazy for some folks…I myself am already exhausted from making cookies…and Im on the verge of getting sick…yea!!!

The rosary is a good idea-except that my husband isnt Catholic and though he doesnt dislike all things Catholic it does make things uncomfortable sometimes. OOh…But he will just be getting off work…so he will be sleeping…

Ok Rosary it is…actually I have a Devine Mercy cd. I think I will play that!! Coolio…problem solved.

Again…thanks to all who answered.

JMJ
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Uh uh. No penance this Friday, since it falls on the Octave of Christmas, and is considered a Solemnity. Eat meat.
 
Perhaps you should consider some form of almsgiving or special form of prayer instead of penance.
 
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