You are equating success with how much money you make.
Your friend
Sufjon
This is an accute account of this situtation.
Moving on…Another is as mankind, we often through our own intellect turn this into self-admiration. IMHO the correct path isn’t to attach your spirit to the physical self, its to detach.
The question we all should ask ourself daily, “What has our own self admiration ever done for us?” I spend more time trying to lose the self than find it, never mind admire it. To respect yourself and love yourself correctly shouldn’t ascend to vanity.
We live in a world of illusion and all to aften call it reality. Man will worship hollywood idols, athlete’s, musicians etc. And ignore those with the real ability to elevate them.
Did you see what Marie Osmond did to her face through plastic surgury? Take a look and tell me what you think of the before and after. Now could you imagine the time spent in the mirror to come to these irrational conclusions at her age of what 52?
Education never ends, you only reach a level of proficiency in a specific area and gain aspects of knowledge in others. All too often one will then perceive that specific learned quality, as some piece of knowledge, that somehow makes “him” of more worth than another human being. Here, you then turned you intellect into vanity. This occurs for the simple reason that your specific talent may actually be of value for another. A marketable trade/education/value etc. You are not that marketable quality, the knowledge you gained in that specific area “is”. You are just another human being, that puts your pants on, one leg at a time. You through eductation, and often through great effort and determination, obtained a skill which you may just happen to be very proficient at. In other words the musician isn’t the instrument, thus without the instument what is he?
The longer one walks this path, the more difficult is the seperation. Of couse its not impossible. However, what happens is the intellect becames a defense, or a wall. And a very good one at that. It creates an impenetrable aura of denial, to add to this dillema, if you are able to avoid the controntation of this issue? Then you’ll be trapped as a prisoner of your own mind, for a God only knows how long.
These trials you speak of in your life, are in truth nothing to be ashamed of. Without a doubt they have much to do with the clarity of mind, you are obtaining. So in fact those trials however uncomfortable or horrific they may have been, in truth are santifying Grace. Of course I would assume their are many out here who would consider these shortcomings, some sort of defect. which then promotes them somehow to a higher natural status, well, in their mind anyway. More focus on self-admiration is all that is.
How often we become confused through “mans” rules and see incorrectly. If a trial turns to a Blessing, than how was it a Horror? How often does the so called Blessing of 6-figures turn into pure Horror? It won’t buy true happiness, true love, or one more second on this physical plain. In fact, if not in correct perspective or check, it will probly do just the opposite. So then complete opposites by mankinds rule’s are quickly incorrectly perceived.
And on and on the story of the mind and life go. These lessons we learn about the self in life. We also shouldn’t personalize them, this breaths more life into a issue. Thus it becomes a sacred secret hidden from the world. The best solution to your issue, is just what you are doing…Honest open communication. Their you receive honest, open, feedback. You’ll know truth when you hear it. It will reverberate in your mind.
If you feel you owe someone an apology, then do so. As humans we often carry way to much guilt by nature. No need to burden youself with extra. I’m not sure how that works with family, etc. Education also may come from practical experience, in fact their is no better teacher. Which sounds like the senerio with family/tools etc. They seemed to have perfected a skill without in-depth education, it certainly isn’t an unknown in the world. I don’t believe there’s much doubt to the value of education though.
Peace
), were not very appealing to him. At one point they wanted him to be a boss, but he didn’t want that headache, either. He’s comfortable where he is for now. He’ll be retiring in a couple of years, anyway. 
But I do find the discussion of it interesting.