EF Mass with Young Children

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CommonWeal

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Greetings all,

As a recent convert to the Catholic faith, I’ve never been to an extraordinary form of the Mass but would very much like to. Does anyone have any advice, counsel, tips, etc., as to how to do this with young children? My daughter is nearly 1 year, and I would hate to be disruptive.

In fact, I find the Latin Mass somewhat of a paradox in this regard, as one of its great virtues is its somber, religious quality, which is enhanced all the more by the silence of the congregation. But, God willing, if I had a large family, how does a faithful, traditionally-minded Catholic fulfill his Sunday obligation with so many rugrats (I’m now thinking especially of my wife) while cultivating a sincere devotion to the Holy Sacrifice. As I said, I only have one child at the moment, but I see, somewhat ironically, the ancient mass as not very family friendly.

What say ye?:confused:
 
I went to a Latin high mass tonight and heard babies crying in the foyer during the mass. Nothing out of the ordinary.
 
ServusHumilis said:
I went to a Latin high mass tonight and heard babies crying in the foyer during the mass. Nothing out of the ordinary.
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Is that a pun? “Nothing out of the ordinary.” 🙂 Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it.
 
“let them come to me”

As long as you stop them from running around the Church and talking throughout the service, it is only positive for them to go to Mass.

Crying babies are an inherent part of Sunday Mass and it is good for you to introduce them to the Church at such a young age.
 
JRTJ said:
“let them come to me”

As long as you stop them from running around the Church and talking throughout the service, it is only positive for them to go to Mass.

Crying babies are an inherent part of Sunday Mass and it is good for you to introduce them to the Church at such a young age.
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While also bearing in mind that there is no obligation for the child to attend until the age of reason (7 or thereabouts) so do not feel guilty if you decide it would be better to leave it until any child is older.
 
CommonWeal said:
Greetings all,

As a recent convert to the Catholic faith, I’ve never been to an extraordinary form of the Mass but would very much like to. Does anyone have any advice, counsel, tips, etc., as to how to do this with young children? My daughter is nearly 1 year, and I would hate to be disruptive.

In fact, I find the Latin Mass somewhat of a paradox in this regard, as one of its great virtues is its somber, religious quality, which is enhanced all the more by the silence of the congregation. But, God willing, if I had a large family, how does a faithful, traditionally-minded Catholic fulfill his Sunday obligation with so many rugrats (I’m now thinking especially of my wife) while cultivating a sincere devotion to the Holy Sacrifice. As I said, I only have one child at the moment, but I see, somewhat ironically, the ancient mass as not very family friendly.

What say ye?:confused:
Click to expand...
At our parish there are quite a few large families (5 children or more) who attend when Mass is offered according to the 1962 missal. There is the normal muted rustling sounds with small infants – though if a child begins to loudly wail – like clockwork one of the parents exits to the outer foyer area with the child. It appears to be an unspoken norm.

Overall, parishioners appear empathetic and appreciative of these considerate parents.
 
The EF actually seems easier for my kids to sit quietly through. Our youngest ones don’t seem so fidgety as they do in the OF. I was talking to another who experienced the same thing. All I can figure is that kids are so overstimulated most of the time that the relative quiet in the EF can be soothing on their nerves.

As others said, if a child starts crying then one of the parents scoops the child up and quietly walks to the back or into the narthex. When I’ve been walking one around they are often 5 or 6 of us rocking a child. The FSSP parish we attend generally has 300+ people and is full of kids (sometimes 1/3 of the attendees are under 18) so no one would bat an eye if your little one started to cry.
 
Babies have no obligation to attend Mass. However, it is good to introduce them to the Church at a young age.

But, if your baby starts to cry, please take then either into the narthex or outside, so they may calm down. At most of my Sunday OF Masses, there are parents who don’t take their babies out of the church, even when they are crying so loudly, I cannot hear the priest 3 feet in front of me.

At most EF Masses, especially Low Mass, silence is appreciated, and is expected.
 
MANY years ago when my 2 boys were very young we took them to Mass. Those were the days when they had an altar rail – we sat up close to the altar and when my husband and I came back from Communion everyone around the boys were laughing – of course, they wouldn’t tell us what they did – it’s something I’ve never forgotten.
Now our Parish has a room for the young mothers – some Moms stay in the Church and most of the time their babies are very good – I love seeing them there.
 
I don’t think that it is fair to compare how well children behave at the extraordinary Mass compared to how they behave at the Mass in the Ordinary Form. Every parent has good days and not so good days no matter where they are at. We could say that the EF is so soothing that it puts babies to sleep, maybe the adults, too. And stating that there are parents at the OF who do not take their children out when they are fussy is a slam too. We could say more parents just don’t bring their children to the EF than parents who take their children to the OF because they are more afraid of disturbing others than they are concerned about teaching their children from an early age how to behave in church. Let’s not use the children to pit one Form of the Mass against the other.
 
CommonWeal said:
Greetings all,

As a recent convert to the Catholic faith, I’ve never been to an extraordinary form of the Mass but would very much like to. Does anyone have any advice, counsel, tips, etc., as to how to do this with young children? My daughter is nearly 1 year, and I would hate to be disruptive.

In fact, I find the Latin Mass somewhat of a paradox in this regard, as one of its great virtues is its somber, religious quality, which is enhanced all the more by the silence of the congregation. But, God willing, if I had a large family, how does a faithful, traditionally-minded Catholic fulfill his Sunday obligation with so many rugrats (I’m now thinking especially of my wife) while cultivating a sincere devotion to the Holy Sacrifice. As I said, I only have one child at the moment, but I see, somewhat ironically, the ancient mass as not very family friendly.

What say ye?:confused:
Click to expand...
Young devout mothers often have to disregard what others may think when they strive to do the best that they can in bringing their children up in the Catholic Faith. For some, the best way that they know how to deal with a situation is to get a babysitter or to attend a different Mass than their spouse who stays home with the little ones. For others it is important to them to take their children to Mass at an early age and they are more determined to try despite the sometimes mean looks of others. The parents are the ones who decide what they best can handle regarding little ones. We all have to be patient with one another. Virtues are not obtained without trial. And that is true no matter what form of the Mass one attends.
 
CommonWeal said:
In fact, I find the Latin Mass somewhat of a paradox in this regard, as one of its great virtues is its somber, religious quality, which is enhanced all the more by the silence of the congregation. But, God willing, if I had a large family, how does a faithful, traditionally-minded Catholic fulfill his Sunday obligation with so many rugrats (I’m now thinking especially of my wife) while cultivating a sincere devotion to the Holy Sacrifice. As I said, I only have one child at the moment, but I see, somewhat ironically, the ancient mass as not very family friendly.

What say ye?:confused:
Click to expand...
With having small children to look after at the EF Mass, it may be difficult to cultivate a continuous devotion to the Mass. But you and your wife can give each other breaks, so that you can have at least sporatic moments of devotion. At least that’s what I observed the husband and wives who had small children doing when I attended the EF.

The first time that you attend, you could just sit in the back and duck outside or in the foyer if your infant cries loudly. Mild crying shouldn’t be a problem, though. Most likely, there will be other parents outside or in the foyer with infants, and it will be a chance to get to know them, and to find out their methods of dealing with children.

At the EF that I attended, there was generally always the sound of crying babies somewhere in the sanctuary during Mass, but I was pretty good at tuning it out.
 
Since the topic is young children, I’ve seen families where some of the kids bring coloring books or prayer books along. It sort of reminds me of when my father used to bring me to Mass when I was small. Kids can learn a lot from those books with a lot of pictures.
 
Welcome home to Rome, CommonWeal! Congratulations on discovering the timeless treasure that is Mass in the Extraordinary Form, too.

Many churches which offer the EF are decorated in a more “traditional,” i.e., “ornate” style. By this I mean lots of statuary, exquisite stained glass windows, Stations of the Cross figures, vigil lights, etc. It’s visually interesting & inspiring for children, as well as adults. You might want to give your child/ren a little “tour” of the church outside of Mass sometime. Point out the different features & explain their significance to the sacramental life of the Catholic Church. God willing, they’ll remember next time they’re at Mass. (It also helps to sit near the front of the church, so small fry don’t have their vision obscured by other people’s backsides throughout the Mass.) Another thing I’ve heard is helpful is to “play church” with your children at home. You can “act out” what happens at various points during the Mass, & at the same time, model appropriate behavior.

These things may or may not work with very young children. If all else fails, plan to find a pew near the exits, in case you need to beat a hasty retreat…
 
Our EF parish has lots of little children. Even little toddlers are learning to genuflect. Once in a while a little one will lose his/her cool and go off on a “fit” of screaming. This usually results in a trip outside by either mom or dad. But that is just part of raising children.

Just go to that Mass and do your best. 🙂
 
Take them. It’s a roll of the dice sometimes (I have four under 10), but I am willing to bet that nobody will notice. I prefer to see them climbing in the pews, hollaring and acting like kids versus not attending.

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