Effects of Catholic Teaching on Homosexuals

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I must admit that I still sometimes struggle with the real-world effects of some Catholic teachings. Tonight, while doing some research I came across the following statements from “Truth Wins Out” (an organization whose self-professed aim is to "fight anti-gay lies and the ex-gay myth) regarding the “Courage” ministry (for anyone who doesn’t know, a Church approved support group for Catholics struggling with homosexuality). Here’s what they had to say:
Courage agrees with the Rome that:
“Although the particular inclination of the homosexual person is not a sin, it is a more or less strong tendency toward an intrinsic moral evil; and thus the inclination itself must be seen as an objective disorder.”
**
Statements such as this lead to intense feelings of shame and self-loathing. ** Indeed, this can be seen on many of the testimonials offered on Courage’ website. For example, one story, by a man identified as “John,” is typical of the turmoil caused by Courage.
“How could people understand that I had something inside of me that I hated?” asked John. “I despised being sexually attracted to men, especially my own peers.”
While more honest and realistic in their expectations than Exodus, Courage still stigmatizes GLBT Americans, forces people to choose between their faith and sexual orientation and perpetuates prejudice in society.
What are your thoughts on these claims?
 
I think that what leads to shame and self-loathing is secrecy and feelings that one is not loved.

In my opinion, the optimal situation is for the person struggling with same-sex attractions to be able to share this information with clergy (mandatory) and members of the church (at his or her discretion), and not experience rejection. The person is treated just like everyone else, and not ostracized for a particular sin. He or she is both KNOWN and LOVED.

There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus, and no need to hide from God.

More eloquently, here is how one well-known priest put it:

<<The Church is the only entity on earth that does not attach labels to people such as “gay” or “homosexual.” This is because labeling can never be sensitive, compassionate or loving and the Church is all about true sensitivity, true compassion, true love and true happiness. The Church prefers the word, “person” and teaches that the only adequate response to persons is love, respect and responsibility. This is because the word “person” finds its definition in God. There we go again with the all critical meaning of words and the concepts to which they point! In the beautiful mind of the Church, there are only “persons.” And some “persons,” through no fault of their own, have developed what they believe to be a sexual attraction to the same gender. But the Church knows better about what is really going on here and how to help that person negotiate through the often frightening, arduous but liberating journey of truth and honesty. It is the Church and she alone who stands perpetually ready to accompany any person through that journey and the Church will do so every step of the way.”>>
 
The claims made against COURAGE by the gay “community” are blasphemous
but typical of claims made against the church by the Unregenerate of all stripes
from whatever angle they are disagreeing with, and condemning the church.

Courage is not “Causing” any inner turmoil nor any social prejudice, and
the claim is libellous and wicked to the extreme.

ALL people who are Christians suffer “inner turmoil” over SOMETHING.
Have they never read the New Testament? St. Paul himself lamented
this constant inner turmoil between the REGENERATE Man, the New Nature,
and the OLD NATURE, still present within us, with all it’s unnatural and
ungodly passions (of which homosexual desires are only ONE).

These people, the gay militants, are the only Sinners (except proABORTS)
who want to DENY that THEIR particular sinful orientation, is Disordered.
Everyone else of us, all freely admit it about whatever OUR sinful desires are.
They, by contrast, want to be told that the disorder THEY are feeling, is
GOOD, Godgiven (if they believe in a God at all) and Righteous and to be
nothing less than affirmed, encouraged, and praised.
In other words, they DO want Special Treatment.

The rest of us ADMIT our sinful tendencies, whatever they are, to BE in fact WRONG.
They DON’T.
And THAT, dear friend, is why they say those things about COURAGE and
about the CHURCH: THEY want the world to declare that unlike everyone else,
THEY are not sinners. THAT is the REAL crux of the matter.
 
When I came out as lesbian it was to finally feel freedom. What I found was a new bondage. It was in stopping to learn not only what the church teaches but WHY- that I found real freedom. Unfortunately most know the what but not the why.(that’s true for many things she teaches). And if we are to enter the debate we better understand that the teaching goes way deeper than just the sex is for pro creation argument. Sure that’s part of it. But it’s way deeper. It’s about our very reason for being created male AND female, not male OR female(as human beings). And the richness of being made in the image of God as such
As co-creators. That’s just a little different than simply yelling “marriage is between man and woman.”–we understand that in sacramental marriage male and female are not interchangeable- but that’s not the experience of those in same sex relationships who have no clue as to humanities reason for existing.
 
I must admit that I still sometimes struggle with the real-world effects of some Catholic teachings. Tonight, while doing some research I came across the following statements from “Truth Wins Out” (an organization whose self-professed aim is to "fight anti-gay lies and the ex-gay myth) regarding the “Courage” ministry (for anyone who doesn’t know, a Church approved support group for Catholics struggling with homosexuality). Here’s what they had to say:

What are your thoughts on these claims?
How does it feel to effectively be told you can’t love someone? How does it feel to feel different, maybe so different you are unlovable? How does it feel to have this thing inside that causes you to want things you shouldn’t and you want to rip it, but can’t? How does it feel to have what feels like a super heavy cross, but can’t tell anyone so can’t get help?

I don’t think it is Courage, I think it just comes with the territory.
 
It is a false and pernicious claim by the gay activists that one cannot acknowledge one’s imperfections without loathing oneself! Who reading this is perfect? Who can’t (please don’t) list sinful inclinations they have that they wish they didn’t? Every one of us is fallen and in need of a Savior. That’s basically the one-liner summary of christianity! So that criticism of Courage is total baloney.

Where the gay rights groups have a point is that too many christians treat sodomy as if it were the uber-sin that makes all other sins seem innocuous in comparison. This is our side’s total baloney. Humans like to exaggerate the sins they AREN’T inclined to so that they can feel better about the sins they ARE inclined to. The gay activists are no different. They’ve elevated “bigotry and discrimination” to uber-sin status and that makes them feel better about that nagging conscience that just won’t quite shut up in the back of their heads regarding what they are doing with their sexuality. After all, they are “tolerant” which is the uber-virtue. What’s a little sin of lust in comparison? 😉

The key going forward is to be courageous and consistent in the moral truths we’ve received, but not distort them. We’re as much in need of mercy as any other sinner, including promiscuous homosexuals. We just can’t abide having people claim that evil deeds are good. We have to find a way to stand against that trend without being self-righteous about it. There is no doubt that those attracted to the same sex have a hard road of life. So do alcoholics and those with physical disabilities. It is no mercy to any of them to tell them to take the easy road and give up instead of struggling to live lives of virtue with the help of Grace. IIRC, that’s what the group Courage does. No wonder the activists hate them.
 
It is doubtful that there could be language in Catholic teaching that explains the wrongness of homosexual acts that would be mild or benign enough to the ears of homosexual practitioners. Any discussion that does not allow for homosexual expression is deemed as lacking in charity and humanity from their view.

As for the same sex attracted who remain celibate or chaste, some regard the teaching with grudging acceptance and many think that the call to such sacrifice is almost too much for a long period of time much less a lifetime. In their thinking, heterosexual struggle with forced abstinence or sexual temptations do not even come close. It becomes easy to disregard that there is a comparable group of people for whom a successful search for a partner in life is not possible or not probable, with limitations due to physical health, mental status, personality or social defects, etc.

I know such people who outnumber the homosexuals in my circle of family and frIends, not counting those who accept their single station in life gracefully if not without bitterness because Mr. or Miss Right never comes along and those who entered religious life.
,
 
We have evolved unfortunately into this new philosophy. And that is, if our mind tells us something, it must be true and justified. Our minds sometimes tell us to over eat, should we? They can tell us to steal, cheat, abuse alcohol, etc. These are all harmful things. Yet, homosexuals say their mind tells them of their orientation. It may very well tell you that, but that doesn’t mean it is not destructive to your life if you act on it.

If it feels good, do it. Wrong.
 
The Church is the only entity on earth that does not attach labels to people such as “gay” or “homosexual.” This is because labeling can never be sensitive, compassionate or loving and the Church is all about true sensitivity, true compassion, true love and true happiness. The Church prefers the word, “person” and teaches that the only adequate response to persons is love, respect and responsibility. This is because the word “person” finds its definition in God. There we go again with the all critical meaning of words and the concepts to which they point! In the beautiful mind of the Church, there are only “persons.” And some “persons,” through no fault of their own, have developed what they believe to be a sexual attraction to the same gender. But the Church knows better about what is really going on here and how to help that person negotiate through the often frightening, arduous but liberating journey of truth and honesty. It is the Church and she alone who stands perpetually ready to accompany any person through that journey and the Church will do so every step of the way.
I competely disagree. While it is not always compassionate to use such labels, there are cases where it is necessary. Take, for example, the label “male.” (This is of course a much more easily verifiable attribute than “homosexual,” but that is why it is a good example.) I am male, my dad is male, my brother is male. This is, in most ways, a positive thing. So, in most cases it does not detract from our humanity to be referred to as men. However, it can be used in a very dehumanizing way when used to make bad generalizations (ie, a rabid feminist claiming that all men are womanizing pigs, so all three of us must be, too). Similarly, while “homosexual” can be a dehumanizing label (“homosexuals go to hell”), it can also be a very useful and benign one (“male homosexuals are at an increased risk for HIV”). As another example, I personally do not consider myself homosexual (I am slightly attracted to women) or gay (I do not in any way resemble the people in the dance clubs), but I find both labels to be very useful when I want to explain why I do not eat at chik-fil-a or why my date is male. I only find them offensive when they are intended to cause offense.
I think that when Catholic theologians use the term “SSA” instead of “gay” or “homosexual,” they are (conciously or not) trying to use the language to promote the idea that homosexuality is a disease. And, regardless of the intentions, this has some very bad consequences. I remember that when I first realized that I “have SSA” that I began to think of my sexuality as an unwelcome, separate part of me, like a cancer that I wanted to rip out if only I could find it. The idea that I needed to cure myself of my desires, and the intense feelings that I could not be a complete person until I did so, caused years of internal torment and incredible frustration. Once I realized that my sexuality is an inseparable, apparently unchanging part of me, all of this unnecessary guilt left. As good as the intentions of these theologians are, the fact is that their language and attempts to explain homosexuality through theology cause more harm than good.
 
A married man is naturally, by his nature, attracted to attractive women. It is part of his inner nature, his identity. He is born that way. He can’t help it. There is nothing he can do about it.

The Church tells him that if he follows his natural inclinations it is sinful, evil, and he will lose his soul. Many married men do follow their natural inclinations and pursue women outside marriage.

This moral teaching of the Church causes men inner turmoil, self-loathing and makes them feel guilty and ashamed of themselves, causing them damage. They try to cover up and conceal their affairs, because they are told what they are by nature is evil, when all they want to do is love more than one woman. Why sould they not be able to love the people they want to love? Why should the Church tell them this is wrong and condemn them for it and cause guilt?

It is the Church that causes these men’s problems, not their behavior or inability to change their nature and overcome their natural inclinations. They should be told there is nothing wrong with having several girlfriends and acting on their natural inclinations. If they are not married they should be told it is normal to have sexual relationships and that anyone who tells them it is wrong hates them for who they are by nature.

This is not simply sarcastic. It would be true if it were not true that there is objective moral law and following your natural inclinations and committing adultery is wrong. This truth is only knowable, because it is revealed by God. Religion tells us fornication and adultery are evil AND we are inclined to it, because we are broken, have fallen nature. The inclination we are born with is intrinsically disordered. We are fallen and God calls us to live above our fallen natures or else we will suffer serious consequences.

If religion causes homosexuals to hate and loathe themselves, then it causes everyone to hate themselves. It says the reason for your sinfulness is you are born broken. You are born this way and you have no choice in the matter so you do evil things. The homosexual says why are you telling me that I do evil if I can’t help the way I am. Religion in fact tells the same thing to everyone. It says we are all sinful and all do evil, because we are defective by nature.

Homosexuals are not singled out. The entire human race is told the same stuff.

We can either try to overcome our disordered natures, which is an ongoing struggle, or attempt to accept how we are and reject the call to deny our evil desires that are ours by nature.

Saint Paul prophesied that in the end times men would become lovers of men and turn from women. What are we seeing? It comes with all kinds of rationalizations that religion is wrong which our corrupted society defends. It all had to come to pass. Sodom was detroyed. Our society is also on the eve of detruction. We can see it coming apart and the cause is the rejection of God.

The reason Europe is disintegrating is not simply that it can’t manage to keep financial institutions together. The society is unable to keep itself organized and functioning, because men are confused. They can’t even figure out anymore that men marry women.
 
I must admit that I still sometimes struggle with the real-world effects of some Catholic teachings. Tonight, while doing some research I came across the following statements from “Truth Wins Out” (an organization whose self-professed aim is to "fight anti-gay lies and the ex-gay myth) regarding the “Courage” ministry (for anyone who doesn’t know, a Church approved support group for Catholics struggling with homosexuality). Here’s what they had to say:

What are your thoughts on these claims?
Either the Church’s teachings are true or they are not. If they are true, then how they make people feel is irrelevant, except insofar as they are perhaps not phrased charitably (and they are phrased very charitably in the Catechism, so we’re back to it being irrelevant). If a person is offended by truth, that says more about the person than it does about the truth.

And if the teachings are false, then they are bad because they are false, not because they hurt people’s feelings. Or rather, hurting people’s feelings is only a secondary and conditional evil.
 
I competely disagree. While it is not always compassionate to use such labels, there are cases where it is necessary. Take, for example, the label “male.” (This is of course a much more easily verifiable attribute than “homosexual,” but that is why it is a good example.) I am male, my dad is male, my brother is male. This is, in most ways, a positive thing. So, in most cases it does not detract from our humanity to be referred to as men. However, it can be used in a very dehumanizing way when used to make bad generalizations (ie, a rabid feminist claiming that all men are womanizing pigs, so all three of us must be, too). Similarly, while “homosexual” can be a dehumanizing label (“homosexuals go to hell”), it can also be a very useful and benign one (“male homosexuals are at an increased risk for HIV”). As another example, I personally do not consider myself homosexual (I am slightly attracted to women) or gay (I do not in any way resemble the people in the dance clubs), but I find both labels to be very useful when I want to explain why I do not eat at chik-fil-a or why my date is male. I only find them offensive when they are intended to cause offense.
I think that when Catholic theologians use the term “SSA” instead of “gay” or “homosexual,” they are (conciously or not) trying to use the language to promote the idea that homosexuality is a disease. And, regardless of the intentions, this has some very bad consequences. I remember that when I first realized that I “have SSA” that I began to think of my sexuality as an unwelcome, separate part of me, like a cancer that I wanted to rip out if only I could find it. The idea that I needed to cure myself of my desires, and the intense feelings that I could not be a complete person until I did so, caused years of internal torment and incredible frustration. Once I realized that my sexuality is an inseparable, apparently unchanging part of me, all of this unnecessary guilt left. As good as the intentions of these theologians are, the fact is that their language and attempts to explain homosexuality through theology cause more harm than good.
They don’t, it’s lay Catholic with little training that use SSA.

Just accept the apple’s presence and move on instead of sitting in front of it and trying to pretend it doesn’t exist
A married man is naturally, by his nature, attracted to attractive women. It is part of his inner nature, his identity. He is born that way. He can’t help it. There is nothing he can do about it.

The Church tells him that if he follows his natural inclinations it is sinful, evil, and he will lose his soul. Many married men do follow their natural inclinations and pursue women outside marriage.

This moral teaching of the Church causes men inner turmoil, self-loathing and makes them feel guilty and ashamed of themselves, causing them damage. They try to cover up and conceal their affairs, because they are told what they are by nature is evil, when all they want to do is love more than one woman. Why sould they not be able to love the people they want to love? Why should the Church tell them this is wrong and condemn them for it and cause guilt?

It is the Church that causes these men’s problems, not their behavior or inability to change their nature and overcome their natural inclinations. They should be told there is nothing wrong with having several girlfriends and acting on their natural inclinations. If they are not married they should be told it is normal to have sexual relationships and that anyone who tells them it is wrong hates them for who they are by nature.

This is not simply sarcastic. It would be true if it were not true that there is objective moral law and following your natural inclinations and committing adultery is wrong. This truth is only knowable, because it is revealed by God. Religion tells us fornication and adultery are evil AND we are inclined to it, because we are broken, have fallen nature. The inclination we are born with is intrinsically disordered. We are fallen and God calls us to live above our fallen natures or else we will suffer serious consequences.

If religion causes homosexuals to hate and loathe themselves, then it causes everyone to hate themselves. It says the reason for your sinfulness is you are born broken. You are born this way and you have no choice in the matter so you do evil things. The homosexual says why are you telling me that I do evil if I can’t help the way I am. Religion in fact tells the same thing to everyone. It says we are all sinful and all do evil, because we are defective by nature.

Homosexuals are not singled out. The entire human race is told the same stuff.

We can either try to overcome our disordered natures, which is an ongoing struggle, or attempt to accept how we are and reject the call to deny our evil desires that are ours by nature.

Saint Paul prophesied that in the end times men would become lovers of men and turn from women. What are we seeing? It comes with all kinds of rationalizations that religion is wrong which our corrupted society defends. It all had to come to pass. Sodom was detroyed. Our society is also on the eve of detruction. We can see it coming apart and the cause is the rejection of God.

The reason Europe is disintegrating is not simply that it can’t manage to keep financial institutions together. The society is unable to keep itself organized and functioning, because men are confused. They can’t even figure out anymore that men marry women.
The married man still gets one person, to compare them is like saying a person who has one car he got to pick, but wants more is completely comparable to the person who isn’t allowed to have any cars, but wants one because neither can get more cars.

Please not I am using cars as an analogy, obviously women are worth infinitely more than some damn car, even if it is a Ferrari.
Either the Church’s teachings are true or they are not. If they are true, then how they make people feel is irrelevant, except insofar as they are perhaps not phrased charitably (and they are phrased very charitably in the Catechism, so we’re back to it being irrelevant). If a person is offended by truth, that says more about the person than it does about the truth.

And if the teachings are false, then they are bad because they are false, not because they hurt people’s feelings. Or rather, hurting people’s feelings is only a secondary and conditional evil.
The Church’s teachings are not hurtful, it is the swines who pass off their opinion as teaching that do the hurting.
 
A married man is naturally, by his nature, attracted to attractive women. It is part of his inner nature, his identity. He is born that way. He can’t help it. There is nothing he can do about it.

The Church tells him that if he follows his natural inclinations it is sinful, evil, and he will lose his soul. Many married men do follow their natural inclinations and pursue women outside marriage.

This moral teaching of the Church causes men inner turmoil, self-loathing and makes them feel guilty and ashamed of themselves, causing them damage. They try to cover up and conceal their affairs, because they are told what they are by nature is evil, when all they want to do is love more than one woman. Why sould they not be able to love the people they want to love? Why should the Church tell them this is wrong and condemn them for it and cause guilt?

It is the Church that causes these men’s problems, not their behavior or inability to change their nature and overcome their natural inclinations. They should be told there is nothing wrong with having several girlfriends and acting on their natural inclinations. If they are not married they should be told it is normal to have sexual relationships and that anyone who tells them it is wrong hates them for who they are by nature.

This is not simply sarcastic. It would be true if it were not true that there is objective moral law and following your natural inclinations and committing adultery is wrong. This truth is only knowable, because it is revealed by God. Religion tells us fornication and adultery are evil AND we are inclined to it, because we are broken, have fallen nature. The inclination we are born with is intrinsically disordered. We are fallen and God calls us to live above our fallen natures or else we will suffer serious consequences.

If religion causes homosexuals to hate and loathe themselves, then it causes everyone to hate themselves. It says the reason for your sinfulness is you are born broken. You are born this way and you have no choice in the matter so you do evil things. The homosexual says why are you telling me that I do evil if I can’t help the way I am. Religion in fact tells the same thing to everyone. It says we are all sinful and all do evil, because we are defective by nature.

Homosexuals are not singled out. The entire human race is told the same stuff.

We can either try to overcome our disordered natures, which is an ongoing struggle, or attempt to accept how we are and reject the call to deny our evil desires that are ours by nature.

Saint Paul prophesied that in the end times men would become lovers of men and turn from women. What are we seeing? It comes with all kinds of rationalizations that religion is wrong which our corrupted society defends. It all had to come to pass. Sodom was detroyed. Our society is also on the eve of detruction. We can see it coming apart and the cause is the rejection of God.

The reason Europe is disintegrating is not simply that it can’t manage to keep financial institutions together. The society is unable to keep itself organized and functioning, because men are confused. They can’t even figure out anymore that men marry women.
Welll said. Everyone has disordered desires. It’s a result of original sin. The Church tells us not to act on our disordered desires. When we do act on them, the results are bad for us and bad for society. But the human inclincation (disordered as it is) is always to say, “I’ll do it my way. Not God’s way. I’ll do what I want.”
 
The Church’s teachings are not hurtful, it is the swines who pass off their opinion as teaching that do the hurting.
Their objection was apparently to the following line:
*“Although the particular inclination of the homosexual person is not a sin, it is a more or less strong tendency toward an intrinsic moral evil; and thus the inclination itself must be seen as an objective disorder.”*This isn’t quite exactly what’s in Catechism but it’s a pretty accurate paraphrasing of it. Now perhaps it’s the case that there are “swine” who phrase this less charitably but they’re not complaining about such people. They’re complaining about the people who wrote the above paragraph, simply because they wrote the above paragraph.

So clearly the objection on the part of these “Truth Wins Out” folks is not that some people forcefully and uncharitably present the Church’s teachings on homosexuality. Their objection is the Church’s teachings on homosexuality full-stop. And their objection is that it makes some people feel bad. This is a bad argument on its face, and more importantly, a bad way of arguing, as if truth were contingent on someone’s feelings.
I competely disagree. While it is not always compassionate to use such labels, there are cases where it is necessary. Take, for example, the label “male.” (This is of course a much more easily verifiable attribute than “homosexual,” but that is why it is a good example.) I am male, my dad is male, my brother is male. This is, in most ways, a positive thing. So, in most cases it does not detract from our humanity to be referred to as men. However, it can be used in a very dehumanizing way when used to make bad generalizations (ie, a rabid feminist claiming that all men are womanizing pigs, so all three of us must be, too). Similarly, while “homosexual” can be a dehumanizing label (“homosexuals go to hell”), it can also be a very useful and benign one (“male homosexuals are at an increased risk for HIV”). As another example, I personally do not consider myself homosexual (I am slightly attracted to women) or gay (I do not in any way resemble the people in the dance clubs), but I find both labels to be very useful when I want to explain why I do not eat at chik-fil-a or why my date is male. I only find them offensive when they are intended to cause offense.
I think that when Catholic theologians use the term “SSA” instead of “gay” or “homosexual,” they are (conciously or not) trying to use the language to promote the idea that homosexuality is a disease. And, regardless of the intentions, this has some very bad consequences. I remember that when I first realized that I “have SSA” that I began to think of my sexuality as an unwelcome, separate part of me, like a cancer that I wanted to rip out if only I could find it. The idea that I needed to cure myself of my desires, and the intense feelings that I could not be a complete person until I did so, caused years of internal torment and incredible frustration. Once I realized that my sexuality is an inseparable, apparently unchanging part of me, all of this unnecessary guilt left. As good as the intentions of these theologians are, the fact is that their language and attempts to explain homosexuality through theology cause more harm than good.
I actually don’t think it’s useful at all to talk about homosexuality as a thing you are rather than a thing you do. The Catholic Church, it seems to me, shares that assessment, and it doesn’t necessarily imply a view of homosexuality as a disease or anything of the sort. It’s simply the only way to really make sense of the phenomenon we call “homosexuality,” because the modern use of the terms tend to give rise to really weird phenomena.

Interestingly, the distinction “homosexual/heterosexual” as we use it didn’t exist anywhere in the world until about 100 years ago, and even then it was used for purely medical reasons. It wasn’t popularized as an identity until more recently than that. All previous societies knew that there were men who liked to be penetrated by other men, but they distinction they employed was more equivalent to “manly man / girly man.” Interestingly, they regarded it as shameful to be the girly (i.e., penetrated) man but merely unwise, imprudent, or regrettable to be the manly (i.e., penetrative) man. The latter man was just an intemperate horn dog, but the former was positively morally unsound.

The distinction is especially useless given how plastic the heuristics are that we use to identify objects of sexual desire. Thus, normatively “heterosexual” men (the ones with large harems and lots of babies with different mothers – you know the kind, the ones with neck tattoos and lots of DUIs) often resort to sodomitical rape when you put them in prison. What’s going on there? Are they “gay,” and if so, why didn’t they act like it until they came into this environment? Are they “straight,” but if so, why are they having sex with other men? The only way to explain this is to introduce extra concepts, like “bisexuality” or “egalitarian homosexuality” or “opportunistic/predatory homosexuality.” In other words, the hetero/homosexual schema only works (to the extent it actually does work) because it’s so protean it can accommodate virtually anything.

One of the surefire signs that this schema is bad is that it makes it difficult to talk about reality in meaningful ways. Thus, for instance, you get a married man who was fruitful (three kids) and enjoyable sex with his wife (they have “an extremely healthy and robust” sex life) telling everyone he’s “gay.” Sorry, but this is just not a meaningful way of talking about reality at all.

So again, we’re left with viewing “homosexuality” not as an identity but as an activity. It’s what you do, not what you are. Hence phrases like “same-sex attraction” are probably more accurate and appropriate representations of what we mean by “homosexuality” than “homosexuality” as it is used by “homosexual” activists themselves. The disconnect in what Catholics mean by “homosexual” and what homosexual activists themselves mean by “homosexual” therefore result in odd things, like the latter claiming that the former are saying that they are evil just for having SSA, when that’s clearly, obviously not the case.
 
I competely disagree. While it is not always compassionate to use such labels, there are cases where it is necessary. Take, for example, the label “male.” (This is of course a much more easily verifiable attribute than “homosexual,” but that is why it is a good example.) I am male, my dad is male, my brother is male. This is, in most ways, a positive thing. So, in most cases it does not detract from our humanity to be referred to as men.
Actually your own example argues against you. Use of the labels ‘man’ and ‘woman’ are only acceptable if they are a shorthand version of a mental process that is more accurately summarized ‘male person’ or ‘female person.’ When the labels ‘man’ and ‘woman’ become perceived apart from the fact that they are both persons is when evil things start. In earlier eras (and some cultures still today), women are seen as innately inferior to men. This can’t as easily happen when they are both primarily seen as persons. Certain radical feminists today make the same mistake in concluding (rarely explicitly, but the intent is often clear) that men are evil. Again, this blunder is only possible if one stops seeing men and women as of the same basic substance: personhood.

The part of your argument that has merit and that catholics should take to heart is that the clinical sounding “SSA” label is hurtful. I’m tentatively trying to use ‘homosexual persons’ (or people) rather than ‘homosexuals’ in discussions. I think it’s a nice middle ground.
 
I pretty much agree with GRANDFATHER. Not surprising, I guess, as I too am one.

Not being gay, I cannot claim to know what that is like.

I do know that God exists. That I have an immortal soul. That I will end in either Heaven or Hell for all eternity. That I am imperfect and struggle with all sorts of temptations.

As much as I can, I am fully aware of the sins I have commited. Aware when I have given in to my natural tendencies with no struggle at all. I have wanted what I wanted, when I wanted it, and as much as I wanted it. Courage was not my strong suit with some issues.

Yet, I always acknowledged that what I did was a sin. I never tried to convince anyone that my sin was right and should be applauded. I just could not call God’s expectations wrong. I understood that although I failed frequently, I was still obliged to try again, and again, and again to avoid sin. Thank God for the Sacrament of Reconciliation. I trusted, that in time, God would grant me the grace to live better if I but constantly prayed for His forgiveness, mercy, and grace.

It goes against the two greatest Commandments - to Love God and to Love others for the Love God - to berate, belittle, or be violent against gays. There, but for the Grace of God, go I. I must be compassionate.

At the same time, there are limits, set by God. The major limit in question these days is the definition of marriage. It is a false love to promote the change in God’s definition of a marriage as between a man and a woman.
 
Regarding " labels "-- vocabulary/ language is an anthropological component of culture. A common English definition of homosexual is a person who is attracted mentally, emotionally, psychologically and sexually to members of his/ her own sex. This is actually the first definition I heard when I was 12 yrs old.it defines attractions not actions. ( and yes there are people who engage in homosexual actions who do not fit that def.) In my culture that def is widely accepted as a def. of homosexual . And so I do apply it to myself. If the issue comes up, I explain that I am chaste according to church teaching.
 
I think that in a society where suffering was viewed as redemptive rather than a pointless struggle that must be remedied, things would be different. People with homosexual tendencies might find Church teaching a little easier to swallow.

But it is what it is. My heart goes out to people that struggle with this, but imagine the Heavenly glory for he or she that chooses righteousness over the culture. Their cup shall certainly be larger than mine when we all drink from the side of Christ.
 
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