Elder parents and my moral responsibility

[Friend_forever]

I live in a border city with Mexico with my parents on the Mexican side.

There has been increasing violence in that city in which I believe there had been around 1,400 killings this year so far. There are due to drug traffic, extortion and kidnapping / abductions.

My parents are American citizens living abroad which means they can move to the US whenever they want.

Well, they don’t want to. They have lived in Mexico for over 40 years that they just cannot leave it. My unmarried sister lives with them and my married sister lives with her husband next door. They take care of them.

My brother and I, who live on this side of the border, really want them to move here. There have been three thefts in two days in the back yard between my mom’s and my sister’s. They have set alarms and have taken other precautions but still I am worried about them all. Especially about my parents because they are older.

I don’t visit them often anymore because I have two young children, 6 and 3 and, as my own sister says, “in this city, everybody has a scary story to tell”, I don’t want to have one that involves my children.

My parents get very sentimental when I don’t visit them, especially on special occasions.

I have done everything I can to persuade them to move here but, by now, I am pretty sure they will never do it. I don’t want to go there either.

I don’t know if I am doing the right thing. I feel a moral responsibility to visit them but I am scared to death to witness a crime, or to get caught between fires with my children.
Christmas is coming and I don’t want to go there. At the same time, I know they will be heart broken if I don’t.

My sisters say, my chances of being caught in two fires are very slim since of the 1,400 killings, “only 80” had been bystanders.
I say 80 are way too much, some of those 80 had been children. Isn’t 80 a big number after all?

Please give me some feedback. I am really struggling with this.

Thank you so much

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Your first responsibility is to your children, and to your husband if you are married.

Your parents and sibs are grown people. if they choose to live in a dangerous neighborhood, there isn’t much you can do but suggest they move.

 

[KCtheMommy]

Your first responsibility is to your children, and to your husband if you are married.

Your parents and sibs are grown people. if they choose to live in a dangerous neighborhood, there isn’t much you can do but suggest they move.

Amen.
Quit feeling guilty, you’ve made your peace, your argument is good. It’s now on them.

 

[Friend_forever]

I think I would talk to them. My sisters don’t have children to begin with. That’s why I think they cannot understand me. Sometimes they are kind of rude to me because they think it is selfishness on my part.

My parents have gotten used to that atmosphere, not that they are happy with it, but they have been adapting to it and they think I over react.

Thank you very much for your support.