Elderly mom is an unbeliever

[rosadelima13]

Asking for suggestions on how to best share the faith with my mom, who is 90 this year. She was Catholic, but weak in her faith, as a child. For the last 70 years, she is detached from any faith. Of course I pray for her, I love her and support her in her needs as best I can. She is amazingly independent for her age - chooses to live alone and still drives occasionally! She lived through WWII in Germany before her marriage and her move to the USA. I sometimes take her to Mass, and I often give her reading materials of the faith. I’m not convinced she reads them…I brought a family friend, a priest, to see her and she was very gracious. I used to write letters of my faith, musings I was contemplating, just to enlighten her day, and she thanked me for them. But she refuses to actively request anything of a spiritual nature…

 

[Vanez]

How about having a meeting with her and few Christians and a priest to have a Q&A session so that she is able to ask and get the answers? Hopefully she will believe

 

[spedteacherita]

Asking for suggestions on how to best share the faith with my mom, who is 90 this year. She was Catholic, but weak in her faith, as a child. For the last 70 years, she is detached from any faith. Of course I pray for her, I love her and support her in her needs as best I can. She is amazingly independent for her age - chooses to live alone and still drives occasionally! She lived through WWII in Germany before her marriage and her move to the USA. I sometimes take her to Mass, and I often give her reading materials of the faith. I’m not convinced she reads them…I brought a family friend, a priest, to see her and she was very gracious. I used to write letters of my faith, musings I was contemplating, just to enlighten her day, and she thanked me for them. But she refuses to actively request anything of a spiritual nature…

That was a tough time living thru WWII!!! I cannot imagine what she must have seen and heard not only as the war was brewing but after the war where some of the Allied forces forced the local residents thru the concentration camps to see what had been happening in their own backyards.

I think Vanez is right about having her interact with others - I was wondering if there was a senior group at your church that gets together for spiritual growth and teaching? Perhaps there is someone in that group or another group that is local who went through what she did as a young person.

Gracious Father, We present to you rosadelima’s mother. She has lived a long and eventful life. You love all your children and we ask that you look kindly on your daughter. Help her to see the sacrifice that Jesus made for all of us and especially for her, too. Grant rosadelima the ability to help her mother rekindle her love for you so that she can be with you when her time on Earth is ended. Thank you Father! We ask this in Jesus’ name, Amen

 

[JUPITERMADCAT]

By all accounts she seems to be doing very well. why would you think not?

 

[ChibiViolet]

Praying…

 

[tawny]

Praying to the Holy Spirit to give your Mom guidance & direction to the Church.

 

[Viki63]

You could honestly discuss with her your concerns about wanting to be in heaven with her, and ask what she believes.
But at 90, it’s unlikely she will make any large changes.
Maybe just ask if she trusts in Jesus.

 

[Vanez]

It sounds like you’ve already done everything you can do to “share”–took her to mass, sent her letters, gave her reading material…took a priest over!
And she’s been very gracious during all, so good for her. There are many in her shoes–especially if she’s an Atheist–who would feel you are being pushy already at this point.
And since she hasn’t actively requested anything more, I think you should hold off.

If she lived through WWII in Germany, she may have seen many things that convinced her there is no god.

(Why do you say she “refuses” to request more? She doesn’t want more so doesn’t ask for it; how is that refusing? I would say that it is you who are refusing … to acknowledge her signals to you and accept her beliefs. It doesn’t seem that she tries to convince you away from your beliefs, right?)

IMO, this is not a good idea.
First of all, if she was brought up Catholic and kept going to church until she was 20, she probably knows all about the faith.

Second…what answers? She doesn’t seem to have any questions. If she has questions today, she would have read those pamphlets or asked her daughter or gone to church.

This to me would feel like an “intervention” to her.
As if you are frantically pushing her to convert before she dies or something. If she’s an Atheist, this will not go down well.

.

Well, you’re right! I realized she would not have any question. Now, all what one can do is praying for her

 

[Sunbreak]

Well, it seems like your mom has made her choice. I would offer her things but don’t push anything on her. People have to come to the faith on their own.

 

[Rob_in_Oregon]

My mom seems to be very similar to Rosadelima’s. She’s 93. She practiced the faith in a lukewarm way when we kids were little, but quit going to mass when we graduated from Catholic grade school. She’s never offended if I bring up matters of faith, but she’s also never interested. She’s getting weaker and more infirm. I spend a lot of time praying and making offerings for her; it seem that’s all I can do at this point. I’m trusting that Jesus won’t let me (or her) down. Could you good CA forum people make some offerings for Rosadelima’s and my moms? I know we can count on you. Thanks… - Rob in Oregon

 

[rosadelima13]

Thank you all for your various responses.

YES prayer is our greatest tool, our final hope!

I think there are a lot of people like my mom, seemingly gracious but not on fire, and greatly occupied with the day to day matters of life. Like I so often find myself too…

As far as the true status of her soul - only God knows. I often write to my mom that she is the first one to teach me “love.” Did I mention that I’m wildly devoted to my mom? Close to her in every way but in faith.

Yes her wartime experiences were truly weird… thank you to spedteacherita and DaddyGirl for pointing that out. She describes her youth as just “war,” hardly any other component mattered. She had a loving, saintly mom (!) and an unkind father who died young. Through it all, she never mentions the Church, and I get some idea that the priests sorta scattered. Only the most devout Catholics would have pursued ways to attend Mass… My mom’s early formation sound short-lived and strict. She seemed stunned by the teachings on sin, once asking me (40 years ago?) what “sin” could a little girl commit?

“As if you are frantically pushing her to convert before she dies or something.” - yeah, that’s it, that’s how I feel

Thank you to Rob in Oregon - sharing the same cross.

Final note - I had the same worries about my dad, who passed away 7 years ago - God rest his soul - and I must say, God provided in amazing ways. He lived his last month in my home, where I was able, with the grace of God, to bring 2 priests for his anointing. He was not able to cognitively participate fully, but he certainly was surrounded by prayer, grace, and yes, the Sacraments.

God bless you all.