R
rpp
Guest
Sorry for the long message but I have got to vent a bit.
Last week I helped my parents move down from Alaska. The original plan was that they would get their own apartment here where they could be close to me and my sister.
When my sister and I moved them, she flew my father down last week and he stayed with her. My sister flew up and packed for them. My parents were quite upset with her because she threw away so many keepsakes, like my father’s WWII medals (1 silver star, 3 bronze stars, 2 purple hearts, and and his service ribbons), the seasonal sweaters of my mom’s and painted portraits of all us kids, except the one of her. The day she flew back, I flew to Anchorage, put my dad on the plane then drove my mother down the Alaska Highway in their car. My father stayed with my sister while I drove down.
As I drove my mom down, it became clear they could not live by themselves. They agreed to move in with me without talking to my sister. I have a one story house, her is a two story and all bedrooms are on the second floor. Also, my sister has always had a very rocky and sometimes abusive relationship with my parents, she being the abuser/bully.
My parents are both in their 80’s. My mother lost her eyesight to macular degeneration a few years ago. Also, she does not move around too well. Last night I took her shopping and she got one of the little motorized carts to go around the store. She loves racing around in those things and was having a pretty good time.
Oh, did I mention she is blind? Have you ever seen a blind person drive? 
My mother has some health problems and in on a restricted diet. But she is not in too bad off.
My father is a different story. He has several problems, among is his recently discovered greatly diminished lung capacity from 70 years of heavy smoking (Up to 7 packs a day when he was younger. Last year he was down to a 1 pack a day.) He has so little breath, that he would bet winded while eating because he cannot breath and chew at the same time. so he quit eating! He lost 80 pounds in the last 3 years. My formerly 5’ 11" father now weighs only 100 pounds. He had a malnutrition/starvation induced heart attack about 3 weeks ago. He also has other problems and is pretty close to helpless.
My sister made matters worse by telling my father they he was going to die in a couple of weeks. That made him very depressed. Even the doctors did not say that!
Anyway, after less than one week staying with my sister she had enough. Yesterday, I took off work to come get get him to take him to my home. My sister, who works from home, insisted I take off work and not come in the evening.
Instead of waiting for me to come get him, one hour before I got there she dumped my father at the VA hospital emergency room (my father is a WWII combat vet so he has free health care for life) and just left. She did not even call me. I only found out when I got to her house and she told me where he was.
Well, my father did need medical attention. But I am pretty annoyed with my sister.
But here I find myself, a single man whose only relative in town is, well, unreliable. My parents have both said they do not want to be left alone with my sister. I live alone in my house. My mother is blind. My father, when he comes home from the hospital tomorrow (hopefully) will need frequent care.
So much for going out on dates and finding that “special woman”.
I need prayers. I need help. I need advice. What I really need is someone who can look in on them during the day while I am at work. I have a cleaning lady, but she only comes every two weeks.
I have no idea what to do. Assisted living and nursing homes are completely out of the question; it would be a death sentence for both of them.
Last week I helped my parents move down from Alaska. The original plan was that they would get their own apartment here where they could be close to me and my sister.
When my sister and I moved them, she flew my father down last week and he stayed with her. My sister flew up and packed for them. My parents were quite upset with her because she threw away so many keepsakes, like my father’s WWII medals (1 silver star, 3 bronze stars, 2 purple hearts, and and his service ribbons), the seasonal sweaters of my mom’s and painted portraits of all us kids, except the one of her. The day she flew back, I flew to Anchorage, put my dad on the plane then drove my mother down the Alaska Highway in their car. My father stayed with my sister while I drove down.
As I drove my mom down, it became clear they could not live by themselves. They agreed to move in with me without talking to my sister. I have a one story house, her is a two story and all bedrooms are on the second floor. Also, my sister has always had a very rocky and sometimes abusive relationship with my parents, she being the abuser/bully.
My parents are both in their 80’s. My mother lost her eyesight to macular degeneration a few years ago. Also, she does not move around too well. Last night I took her shopping and she got one of the little motorized carts to go around the store. She loves racing around in those things and was having a pretty good time.
Oh, did I mention she is blind? Have you ever seen a blind person drive? My mother has some health problems and in on a restricted diet. But she is not in too bad off.
My father is a different story. He has several problems, among is his recently discovered greatly diminished lung capacity from 70 years of heavy smoking (Up to 7 packs a day when he was younger. Last year he was down to a 1 pack a day.) He has so little breath, that he would bet winded while eating because he cannot breath and chew at the same time. so he quit eating!
He lost 80 pounds in the last 3 years. My formerly 5’ 11" father now weighs only 100 pounds. He had a malnutrition/starvation induced heart attack about 3 weeks ago. He also has other problems and is pretty close to helpless.My sister made matters worse by telling my father they he was going to die in a couple of weeks. That made him very depressed. Even the doctors did not say that!
Anyway, after less than one week staying with my sister she had enough. Yesterday, I took off work to come get get him to take him to my home. My sister, who works from home, insisted I take off work and not come in the evening.
Instead of waiting for me to come get him, one hour before I got there she dumped my father at the VA hospital emergency room (my father is a WWII combat vet so he has free health care for life) and just left. She did not even call me. I only found out when I got to her house and she told me where he was.Well, my father did need medical attention. But I am pretty annoyed with my sister.
But here I find myself, a single man whose only relative in town is, well, unreliable. My parents have both said they do not want to be left alone with my sister. I live alone in my house. My mother is blind. My father, when he comes home from the hospital tomorrow (hopefully) will need frequent care.
So much for going out on dates and finding that “special woman”.
I need prayers. I need help. I need advice. What I really need is someone who can look in on them during the day while I am at work. I have a cleaning lady, but she only comes every two weeks.
I have no idea what to do. Assisted living and nursing homes are completely out of the question; it would be a death sentence for both of them.
