Hello, Br. J.R. I have heard that you say that before about only rarely being able to visit your family. Is that a rule in most communities, or is it just in Franciscan or cloistered orders?
Every religious community has its rules. Some communities never visit their relatives. Others visit once a year. That’s the most frequent that I know. I do know a OMI whose mother lived near the religious house where he was stationed and she became very ill. She had only two children he and a sister. The superior allowed him to do errands for her and help her out so that the sister was not overwhelmed. But he lived a few blocks away. That’s an unusual situation. Most religious visit their relatives once a year for about a week.
This is a very good post, brother. Thank you. I was, of course, thinking in terms of a Parish Priest rather than a religious one. Of course a religious priest living in a monastic community couldn’t have children living with him. So many Parish Priests today, however, do live in the Rectory alone. But I see your point.
Do all priests in a diocese make the same amount of money, or are they paid more or less based on size of their parish?
There are salary brackets for pastors, associates, those who serve in the chancery, those who teach, hospital chaplains, etc.
If you’re a religious, it makes no difference whether you’re a priest, sister or brother, the salary is always less and there are no benefits. A parish may be staffed by five religious, but they are alllowed to collect a salary for only two. Obviously, they do not receive medical and life insurance or any car allowance. The community pays all of the bills for those people out of that salary.
In the USA, diocesan priests are self-employed. Therefore, they pay their FICA in full. The diocese does not pay it. They pay taxes (State and Fed), they may have to pay part of their 401K. They usually pay part of their medical insurance. Their car is their property, so they maintain it and insure it. Most dioceses do not reimburse for mileage unless you’re a layman. If you work for an organization that is not diocesan, that’s a whole other arrangement.
Let’s say that you teach at a university. Then the diocesan policies do not apply. The university has its own system. Some pay clergy and religious the same as they would any other professor.
Also, remember that in the northern hemisphere, we have more financial resources than the sourthern hemisphere. Which is another good reason for not ordaining a man with children. Those guys work for food. that’s about as much as they get. They get enough pesos to buy clothes. They have no retirement, no medical, not life insurance and housing is inadequate for raising a child.
Someone asked what’s the difference between a Latin Catholic parish priest and an Eastern Catholic parish priest. Sacramentally, there is none. However, the two parish paradigms are very different. Like Protestants, Eastern Catholics never got used to the idea of a parish that operates seven days a week from 7:00 am to 11:00 pm. Because their clergy is married and with children. In addition, Eastern Catholics in Europe, Asia and North Africa have lived under the yoke of oppression. Catholic parishes were not very active as have been parishes in Europe and the Americas. They are very quiet and have very little activity. Father is much more available to be husband and daddy.
If you want to compare the Latin Catholic priest to the parent who is an OB/GYN you can do so. However, there is little admirable if a parent is so dedicated to his career that he does not see his kids grow up. I’ve seen many of these kids of OB/GYNs.
I grew up in a home with a mother who was a pediatrician and a dad who was a diplomat. My father traveled a great deal. My mother compensated by limiting her practice to about 10 - 15 patients. This gave her a lot of time with us.
When I was widowed, I had two young children. I had to hire a housekeeper and a nanny. They ran my house and cared for my children so that I could work. I would not wish that on any father. If a man tells me that he’s a single dad and wants to be a priest, my response is to wait until he child is independent. Even if it were allowed, every child should grow up with his parent, not a nanny.
I taught at the university. There was a two-year period when I was also the dean. I would spend very irregular hours at the university. I missed those two years with my kids. They will never be replaced. I could not help my son with his homework, because I had to run to an evening class or a meeting. I didn’t do little league coaching, because I had no time. Sometimes I’d get home and they were in bed. Nanny had tucked them in and gotten them ready for the next day.
After two-years of that, I felt horribly. I resigned and took up a job as a high school principal At least I could get out of school at a reasonable hour and there were no evening classes. Bu there are two years in the life of my children about which I know very little.
I was blessed. They never got into trouble. The did well in school. One is a doctor and the other is an artist. They own their own homes. My son owned his own hom, with no mortgate by age 21. Note every parent is as lucky.
A single father has one primary duty in his life, to be a daddy. What we the faithful feel and need is not his problem. He has no obligation to us. A priest is not a commodity that we try to rack up as many as we can, regardless of the sacrifices. If you want a priest that badly, if you’re male, enter the seminary. If you’re female, have lots of babies so that the chances of at least one becoming a priest will increase exponentially. That’s hwo we got priests in the past.
Fraternally,
Br. JR, OSF
