Eliminating sins-Gossip

[Terrapin97]

I have been trying to eliminate sins in my life as I strive to be more Christlike in all my endeavors. Some of sins to remove are harder than others but one thing that keeps tripping me up is gossiping . It seems like each and every single conversation that I become a part of moves to gossip. I am guilty of gossiping with the best of them but am trying to reduce this significantly. it’s much harder than expected. The problem is that gossip seems to be the foundation of so many conversations, especially here at work. What can you do? Ignore people? Change the subject? I feel like so many conversations are about others, what people are doing, are upset about etc etc etc. It’s hard to know what is gossiping and what is just listening to a story, comiserating, sympathizing, or having fun with a conversation. Any help on this?

 

[blueblood3]

I am in the same boat as you. I hate that I let myself get involved in it. I’m interested to see what the others have to say about this, but I try hard to make sure (and will continue to increase my efforts to make sure) to not speak poorly of others in a group, not say anything to someone else that I haven’t said to the person in question, and that I’m not sharing information that’s not mine to share. I’ve had to take a hard look at the intent behind what I’m saying and what others are saying. I also have to get better at examining whether something I say really needs to be said. I think it’s OK to vent to God and to a trusted person about a person or situation, but when you continue to do it over and over it becomes complaining and gossipy. For sure, a huge struggle. I work in a gossipy place and sometimes I feel like I would have to avoid all human interaction to avoid it! I think that I can work harder on shutting people down when they are being negative about someone or something in a gentle and helpful way, like maybe by helping them see the positives in another person or situation. And then I have to make sure that the conversations people involve me in stay with me and go no further. Anyhow, I’m interested to see others’ replies.

 

[Terrapin97]

Yes it is a very slippery slope. When you really take a deep look at your conversations, So many turn into a direction that may not please God in my opinion. The fabric of so much conversations is talking about others or joking around. I’m trying to focus on my words and actions but notice how toxic the conversations are. Is talking about somebody gossiping? Is repeating a story that you heard gossiping? Is complaining about your boss gossiping? In some cases it’s not very obvious.

 

[chefmomster2]

I agree with what has already mentioned. Gossip permeates our society! It is hard to avoid it.

Here is a way to decide if something should be shared:

Remember the word THINK. (As in…Think before you speak!)

T: Is it TRUE?
H: Is it HELPFUL?
I: Is it IMPORTANT?
N: Is it NECESSARY?
K: Is it KIND?

Prayer for an End to Gossip
Lord Jesus, Son of the Most Holy,
How Divinely pure Your thoughts are!
Your Words only reflect wonders,
Parables worthy of searching minds.
I earnestly strive to parallel after You.
Tend to my need of respecting others,
That I may never gossip against anyone.
Guide me in the righteous path of life,
Where sensational gossip is non-existent.
If by Your will, my intervention is required,
Guide me to extinguish the attacks of others.
Jesus, You are the glorious light of truth!

 

[tawny]

I agree with what has already mentioned. Gossip permeates our society! It is hard to avoid it.

Here is a way to decide if something should be shared:

Remember the word THINK. (As in…Think before you speak!)

T: Is it TRUE?
H: Is it HELPFUL?
I: Is it IMPORTANT?
N: Is it NECESSARY?
K: Is it KIND?

Prayer for an End to Gossip
Lord Jesus, Son of the Most Holy,
How Divinely pure Your thoughts are!
Your Words only reflect wonders,
Parables worthy of searching minds.
I earnestly strive to parallel after You.
Tend to my need of respecting others,
That I may never gossip against anyone.
Guide me in the righteous path of life,
Where sensational gossip is non-existent.
If by Your will, my intervention is required,
Guide me to extinguish the attacks of others.
Jesus, You are the glorious light of truth!

Amen.

 

[Julie_de_Sales]

I’m also guilty of gossip and it’s so hard not to participate in a conversation when the other person keeps telling you the defects and the wrongdoings of others. A solution might be to try and change the subject, or at least not saying anything that might encourage this behaviour.
I have a question related to this topic: what about gossip in our own hearts? Like thinking and judging others badly. Sometimes I don’t know if it’s a bad thing or just the way people are. For example, let’s say I see someone dressed ugly and I say to myself: “That outfit is so ridiculous!”-would this be considered like a fault against charity?

 

[Terrapin97]

Yes, it’s certainly tricky. I guess I have been gossiping so long that it is the fabric of many of my conversations which is sad. I guess I have to change who I am and then people will change the expectations of our conversations. I guess it’s a process. It’s a fine line between story telling and intentionally making someone look bad in a conversation. I guess all I can do is pray about it more and ask God to help me become more aware of these incidents. Alot of things you can do to become more Holy like not lying, not stealng are pretty tangible and easy to measure, this is alot more tricky and thus the reason I started this thread.

 

[Tigg]

I have been trying to eliminate sins in my life as I strive to be more Christlike in all my endeavors. Some of sins to remove are harder than others but one thing that keeps tripping me up is gossiping . It seems like each and every single conversation that I become a part of moves to gossip. I am guilty of gossiping with the best of them but am trying to reduce this significantly. it’s much harder than expected. The problem is that gossip seems to be the foundation of so many conversations, especially here at work. What can you do? Ignore people? Change the subject? I feel like so many conversations are about others, what people are doing, are upset about etc etc etc. It’s hard to know what is gossiping and what is just listening to a story, comiserating, sympathizing, or having fun with a conversation. Any help on this?

It is truly of the Spirit that you have come to this realization. There’s a little meditation you can try while making your morning offering. From the book of Isaiah 6:

“Woe is me, for I am ruined! Because I am a man of unclean lips, And I live among a people of unclean lips; For my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts.” 6Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a burning coal in his hand, which he had taken from the altar with tongs. 7He touched my mouth with it and said, “Behold, this has touched your lips; and your iniquity is taken away and your sin is forgiven.”

After reading this passage you could make a supplication to the Lord to place a guard around your lips and purify them that nothing you say or eat or drink will be an occasion of sin. It might also be of benefit to offer up a short passage from Proverbs several times during the day which is…“he who guards his lips, guards his soul.” (13:3)

God bless you in your struggle!