Embarassing - need help

[bgic]

Last night after evening prayers I fell asleep. I woke up semi-conscious to this urge to be impure in the middle of the night. I remember wrestling with thoughts of trying to not do it, but I caved somehow (felt against my will) and was impure. Afterwards I feel asleep immediately…but I know I heard in my head a deep roar…like satan was roaring…it was very strange and scary. The episode was spontaneous and very quick.

I am mad because I have fought every conscious urge to be impure successfully until last night. I have been praying to St. Joseph to remain chaste. I have been very prayerful as of late. I am not even sure why this happened. I had no urges during the day.

Is this a mortal sin. Do I need to go to confession for this?

Thanks!

 

[Eucharisted]

If you did it with full consent and total knowledge, it is mortal sin. Otherwise, it is venial sin. But it would be good to bring up to Confession, so Jesus can council you through the priest.

Fear not Satan. He is worst silent than roaring. For when he’s silent, you don’t know he’s there. But when he’s roaring, you know he’s there. He wishes to remain silent, undetected, lest the soul know of him and know to fight against him and flee to Jesus. If the soul dose not know of him, neither will it realize it must fight against him and flee to Jesus. When silent, he is like a monster in a pit in the desert: You can’t see him. When not silent, he is like a monster who comes out of the pit to scare you. But hope and trust sustain the soul, and faith informs the soul that the devil can only bark. Like a dog on a chain, he has his limits. If the soul gets too close to him, though, through magic or consecration to hell or some other evil means, than the dog bites, that is, the devil attacks: Usually possession.

 

[Silverburg]

If you did it with full consent and total knowledge, it is mortal sin. Otherwise, it is venial sin. But it would be good to bring up to Confession, so Jesus can council you through the priest.

That’s not necessarily true:

CCC 2352 "By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action. “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.

**To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability. **"

 

[bgic]

regarding the roaring…

This morning during my recitation of the rosary I felt a tremendous urge to roar. It was the strangest thing…because it was such a strong feeling. I know this seems odd. I am pretty sure that satan is trying to tempt me. I didn’t do it and I kept praying my hail marys. I started to pray for Mary’s interecession and for her to stomp the head of the beast trying to tempt me. It seemed to work because after a few minutes the urge went away.

I wonder why all this is happening to me???

 

[chatto]

Don’t be embarrased mate. It’s something that I certainly struggle with (every day). I hope I can share some thoughts that will help.

First, Eucharisted is right - go to confession, venial sin or mortal. Hopefully your priest will be able to council you. Second, take any practical steps you can to avoid tempting situations e.g. are you on your computer late at night checking emails, reading the Pope’s latest encyclical, or whatever? Being on your own, in the dark, at your computer can lead to an unhelpful situation. For me, I’ve got to be on the alert if I’m tired or dehydrated. Self-knowledge is key.

My priest told me to expect the temptation to increase whenever I feel I’ve “been doing so well”. Makes sense, after all; the better we do, the harder the evil one tries. Likewise, he told me that the devil has no real, lasting power (having already been defeated), but only as much as God allows him. What does this mean? Well, God would rather you fell on the hard, narrow path that leads to Life, than wander off down the easy road to Perdition. Take some consolation in your own reaction to it - desire for absolution, prayer - because it means you’re still on the narrow path, just with a face full of gravel.

Finally, remember the words from Ash Wednesday, when ashes are placed on our heads? The priest says, “Turn away from sin and believe the Good News!” Don’t become obsessed with your own purity. Focusing on sin is just as good to the devil as sinning - it all takes our attention away from God. So keep praying, but go out and have fun with friends, use your talents and most importantly, be charitable. All these things lift our minds and souls to God, and the bad habits fade the stronger these good habits become.

 

[EasterJoy]

If you get the urge to roar, do not be afraid. Make it a habit to give glory and praise to God, instead. This can be spontaneous, or you can use the Magnificat. If you make it a habit to turn to God in joy whenever this happens, it is unlikely to be something you are afflicted with for very long.

Consider, too this thought:
“The Devil, the proud spirit, cannot endure to be mocked.” - St. Thomas More, 16th Century

You cannot be surprised that the devil will put a weight of some sort on you if you increase your time in prayer. Do not take the devil seriously, even though he may become very tiresome to deal with. It is OK to laugh off his efforts, not because you are powerful, but because God is, and because you are not so foolish as to concern yourself with worry over things that God takes care of for you.

Likewise, it is also OK if your prayer becomes dry. It is God’s way of not “overwatering” you. This is your chance to practice fidelity, and to put your roots deeper. It is also a state that the devil will try to turn to his own advantage. Do not believe the devil’s suggestion that you aren’t trying hard enough, or that prayer that doesn’t feel good is a waste of time.

Once you wander over in to either fear of falling or feeling shameful at the obvious fact that you need help–only pride could make us think that our utter and constant dependence on God for every shred of strength is anything shameful–you are on the devil’s home playing field. We are nothing without God, true, but we were never meant to be without God in the first place. Our neediness is our joy. We should never worry about it, or fear that we will be left orphaned in a defenseless state.

As for the sexual urges, this is most often no more than a natural symptom of a healthy body. The urges themselves are not a sin. Hormones can do confusing things to our heads, but it is usually part of a beautiful bigger picture…something we live through, like acne and voices that crack while they are still changing and receding hairlines and hot flashes and weird food cravings during pregnancy and all those other awkward things that bodies sometimes do. Satan can only claim credit for trying to get you to make a bad use of your magnificent body. The trials of having a body, though, those are just part of the gift of having one. Don’t worry about them. Keep being humble, and when you can, laugh them off.

In rare cases, there are mental illnesses that cause these kind of miseries, too. If this goes on for too long or is too much to deal with, it is OK to look into whether there is an organic cause for things that cause emotional suffering. There is no shame in that, either. There is no reason at all to believe you are there yet, though. It is just something to remember you could deal with in humility, if it turns out to be the case. Be not afraid, that is the ticket.

 

[bgic]

Thank you all for the replies. It means alot to me that there are some truly wonderful people out there. Your replies have helped me. I didn’t think anyone could take me seriously (roaring), as you all did. I appreciate that.

I am going to confession tomorrow and I don’t think I will be as embarassed as I would have had I not posted this thread.

God Bless You!

 

[brittrossiter]

How ironic - I had exactly the same thing happen to me at night a few weeks back (save the urge to roar). I took it to Confession the next day, and have not fallen to that particular slipup since.

You are not alone in your struggles with this. I’ll remember you in my prayers.

Jason

 

[Joe_Brown]

You cannot sin if you are not fully conscious, that would violate one of the requirements for mortal sin and most likely wouldn’t be a venial sin unless you were able to control it. Take for example nocturnal emissions.

I will say a prayer for you. Dont fear, everybody battles intrusive immoral thoughts, your not alone.

God Bless

By the way the requitments for mortal sin are: deliberate consent, grave matter, full knowledge. By your post I dont think you met these. Please maybe take to your confessor or seek some guidence

 

[damooster]

You cannot sin if you are not fully conscious, that would violate one of the requirements for mortal sin and most likely wouldn’t be a venial sin unless you were able to control it. Take for example nocturnal emissions.

I will say a prayer for you. Dont fear, everybody battles intrusive immoral thoughts, your not alone.

God Bless

By the way the requitments for mortal sin are: deliberate consent, grave matter, full knowledge. By your post I dont think you met these. Please maybe take to your confessor or seek some guidence

While I agree with you technically, I think this is still a grave situation. bgic may have been semi-conscious, but let’s be honest with ourselves: more than likely, bgic knew what was going on and consented to it. We can debate intent but bgic would be best served by taking this to confession as soon as possible. Not only do I think bgic should refrain from Holy Communion until this sin is confessed, I think he/she could really use some spiritual guidance.

bgic: You are certainly not alone. We all struggle with this. I personally don’t agree with some of the factors that have been mentioned that could make this less than a grave matter; I think people can be led to lean on them as excuses to carry on this habit. I masturbated frequently until my baptism and confirmation but have not done it since. We simply have to remove ourselves from those situations that can lead us astray.

You are in my prayers.