Embarrasment in Confession

[CradleCath]

Hi there. I struggle sometimes with sins of impurity - both in my mind and sometimes manifested [edited].

I go to confession regularly and Mass and pray to avoid temptation etc. The problem is I’m finding it increasingly awkward to admit these sins in confession. I’m a female in my 20’s and though I understand the whole anonimity of the confessional I cant kid myself that my confessor does not know its me -** especailly as once or twice he has asked me about other stuff (rotas for various things in the church etc) after I’ve confessed.** He is a fantastic confessor, but to be honest I am just embarrased - I mean I would not dream of discussing sins like that in front of my best female friend never mind a man. I know they have to be confessed but can anyone point me to any specific ways of phrasing things and any specific prayers I could pray before making my confession so I can have the grace not to fall into the sin of witholding sins in confession

Thanks.

I find it odd that he has asked you questions about “rotas for various things”, etc. while you were in the confessional. It’s almost as if he WANTS you to know that he knows who you are.

If it were me, I’d find another parish to confess in. BTW., does he offer any solutions to help with the temptations you are facing?

 

[PJM]

=ultramontanist3;6442308]Hi there. I struggle sometimes with sins of impurity - both in my mind and sometimes manifested [edited].

I go to confession regularly and Mass and pray to avoid temptation etc. The problem is I’m finding it increasingly awkward to admit these sins in confession. I’m a female in my 20’s and though I understand the whole anonimity of the confessional I cant kid myself that my confessor does not know its me - especailly as once or twice he has asked me about other stuff (rotas for various things in the church etc) after I’ve confessed. He is a fantastic confessor, but to be honest I am just embarrased - I mean I would not dream of discussing sins like that in front of my best female friend never mind a man. I know they have to be confessed but can anyone point me to any specific ways of phrasing things and any specific prayers I could pray before making my confession so I can have the grace not to fall into the sin of witholding sins in confession

Thanks.

Confession is NOT an invention of a Church seeking to know more about the personal lives of all:

John.20 Verses 19 to 23: "On the evening of that day, the first day of the week, the doors being shut where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said to them, “Peace be with you.” When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I send you.” And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and said to them, "Receive the Holy Spirit.
If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained."

One of the MAIN Reasons for Christ instituting the Sacrament of Confession is that as our Creator He KNEW we ought to be and usually are embarassed. That is intended as a deterrent to aid us in avoind future sins.

As to a prayer. There are none better than the LORD"S PRAYER…

“THY WILL BE DONE ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN”

“Lead me NOT into temptatioon”

“Deliver me from [all] evil”

And may I suggest that you would be well advised to pray a ROSARY everyday:thumbsup:

Keep in mind three things are necessary for a sin to be a “Mortal sin”

Serious matter

Knowing it will be a Mortal sin BEFORE you do it

And then Still desiring to do it anyway

Love and prayers,
Pat

 

[BobbiKay]

I think that confession and preparing for it is very hard work. I am a new convert and I confess face to face. To me there is not anything that I cannot say to my priest/confessor. I know many people like their confessor to be a priest other than their regular parish priest - so I suppose that is a matter of preference. Confession is not easy and it should be a little “ouchy” don’t you think? Confession is one of the greatest gifts of the Catholic church…humbling, liberating, freeing, inspiring.
BK

 

[dachsiemom2]

I am a little confused - what does the term “rotas” refer to?

 

[jmcrae]

I am a little confused - what does the term “rotas” refer to?

I am assuming in this context, he is asking her about the scheduling for readers, EMHCs, Altar servers, and the like.

 

[CradleCath]

I am assuming in this context, he is asking her about the scheduling for readers, EMHCs, Altar servers, and the like.

Don’t you think it’s a little strange for a priest to ask a penitent about schedules while he/she is in the confessional?

 

[Sanctifiable]

Hi there. I struggle sometimes with sins of impurity - both in my mind and sometimes manifested [edited].

I go to confession regularly and Mass and pray to avoid temptation etc. The problem is I’m finding it increasingly awkward to admit these sins in confession. I’m a female in my 20’s and though I understand the whole anonimity of the confessional I cant kid myself that my confessor does not know its me - especailly as once or twice he has asked me about other stuff (rotas for various things in the church etc) after I’ve confessed. He is a fantastic confessor, but to be honest I am just embarrased - I mean I would not dream of discussing sins like that in front of my best female friend never mind a man. I know they have to be confessed but can anyone point me to any specific ways of phrasing things and any specific prayers I could pray before making my confession so I can have the grace not to fall into the sin of witholding sins in confession

Thanks.

I had to do an tough confession a couple weeks ago…I didn’t feel as embarrassed as much as ashamed. My confessor just looked at me and said “what happened?” I felt like I really let him down as much as I let God down. In retrospect I am glad he did say that because he did not console me but somewhat reprimanded me saying its OK you slipped but its not acceptable.

 

[willofgods]

First, thank you for posting this question. It led me to readings that helped me better understand what is a good confession.

As to your questions:

specific ways of phrasing things …] so I can have the grace not to fall into the sin of witholding sins in confession

I think you could say that you engaged in “acts of impurity” or “self-abuse” or the “impure act of self-abuse”. Anything more ambiguous than that may be too far from what you mean to confess. As long as the priest understands and you are truly contrite it should be fine.

and any specific prayers I could pray before making my confession so I can have the grace not to fall into the sin of witholding sins in confession

Pray the Rosary. One of the 15 promises of the Blessed Virgin to those Christians that pray the Rosary is: “What you shall ask through my Rosary you shall obtain.” In your case, the grace not to fall into the sin of witholding sins in confession you shall obtain through her Rosary. Or better yet, why not pray for the grace not to fall into the sin of self-abuse in the first place!

[SIGN]When Christ’s faithful strive to confess all the sins that they can remember, they undoubtedly place all of them before the divine mercy for pardon. But those who fail to do so and knowingly withhold some, place nothing before the divine goodness for remission through the mediation of the priest, “for if the sick person is too ashamed to show his wound to the doctor, the medicine cannot heal what it does not know.” CCC 1456[/SIGN]

 

[jmcrae]

Don’t you think it’s a little strange for a priest to ask a penitent about schedules while he/she is in the confessional?

Yes, I do, and if it were me, I’d be going elsewhere for Confession, next time.