Embarrassed to Shake Hands in Mass

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Hi, I’ve had kind of an embarrassing problem for quite a while now…

I kind of dread the part of the Mass where we shake each other’s hands and say “peace be with you”, because my hands are almost always clammy. I do my best to dry them off on my shirt, but my handshake is always at least a little moist. Though no one has ever mentioned it to me during a regular Mass, several of my classmates have made comments like “ugh, your hands are all sweaty dude” after a handshake.

Is there any way to do it without the handshake? Any suggestions or does anyone know why my hands would be abnormally damp and sticky most of the time? I guess it’s kind of gross, but it’s just gotten really frustrating. It’s also the reason I wouldn’t hold my girlfriend’s hand when we were going out last summer.
 
I have kinda clammy hands too, and I used to hate that part of mass. And I really didnt like to hold hands during the our father. But the more I thought about how icky my hands were, the worse it got. So then I just stopped thinking about it, and they didnt get that way anymore. It sounds kinda weird, but thats what worked for me so maybe it’ll help you, too.
 
I hate it when I sneeze and cover my mouth with my hands and then I have to either explain to everyone why I can’t shake their hand or hold my hand out thereby making them sick or grossing them out because they saw me sneeze on it.

Maybe they should have hand santizer dispensers in the pews

If it were up to me I would do away with the whole sign of peace thing but I dont make the rules
 
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mjdonnelly:
Some tissues in the pocket can work wonders
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…or a hankie dusted with baby powder?
 
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pittsburghjeff:
I hate it when I sneeze and cover my mouth with my hands and then I have to either explain to everyone why I can’t shake their hand or hold my hand out thereby making them sick or grossing them out because they saw me sneeze on it.

Maybe they should have hand santizer dispensers in the pews

If it were up to me I would do away with the whole sign of peace thing but I dont make the rules
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I agree!!! Who’s idea was it that we MUST shake hands IN MASS???
I love the Tridentine Latin Indult Mass because the so called" Peace handskake" or the HOLDING HANDS during the Pater Noster, is NOT THERE!!!:clapping:
 
I don’t know why but I always dread the shaking of the hands and wishings of peace - but you know what, it is truly my favorite part of the mass. It really helps me recognize the communion of God’s Church. And lets face it, sometimes going out to meet your brothers and sisters is not always easy, but we should still try, with sweaty hands and all.
 
To be honest, I have always found the practice of holding hands during the Pater Noster unnecessary and pointless.

Gerry
 
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Max:
Is there any way to do it without the handshake?
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Over the years I’ve encountered people who did not want to shake hands. They greeted me appropriately and did not offer their hand. It works. I don’t dwell on it, nor should you unless this is a circumstance than affects you elsewhere in life.

If someone attempts to grab your hand, just start putting it in your pocket or behind your back, or clasp them together in a prayer position and make a slight bow.
 
Ray Marshall:
Over the years I’ve encountered people who did not want to shake hands. They greeted me appropriately and did not offer their hand. It works. I don’t dwell on it, nor should you unless this is a circumstance than affects you elsewhere in life.

If someone attempts to grab your hand, just start putting it in your pocket or behind your back, or clasp them together in a prayer position and make a slight bow.
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I usually follow what you have suggested…but when a little child reaches out to skake my hand, I just have to…I can’t resist their beautiful little smile…and trusting little handshake…I really see Jesus in that child. So we might all take this into consideration…

While I don’t prefer to hold hands at the Pater Noster, it is part of our liturgy to show a sign of peace, and that sign, whether it be a nod or a shake should be observed.
Many times my hands are clammy or very cold due to my anxiety of being in a crowd and was very embarrassed by this, I got over it when once I was pondering & meditating on this… would I be embarrassed at shaking Christ’s Hand? After all, He sweat Blood for me… Do I see Christ in my neighbor? Annunciata:)
 
I try to keep to myself and offer a friendly smile. Other times a hand shake will do when some stick necks or hardened hearts don’t understand me.

Thomas2
 
Max -

I’ve lived with extra sweaty hands my entire life - in school, I’d have to keep a folder piece of paper under my hand to protect the paper I was writing on from getting wet with sweat - so, I know where you are coming from! In the business world, a sweaty handshake can be a deal killer…

Frequent washing with a cold water rinse helps (step into the restroom right before Mass and give them a good wash), that alcohol hand sanitizer helps to cool the skin. Spraying your hands lightly with anti-persparant can help - and doctors do have perscription products for us very sweaty palm folks.

An absorbant piece of cotton in your pocket as a blotter works, grab on to that in your pocket during the Our Father then your hand should be pretty well blotted when it is time to shake hands.

I feel your pain!
 
Over the years I’ve encountered people who did not want to shake hands. They greeted me appropriately and did not offer their hand. It works. I don’t dwell on it, nor should you unless this is a circumstance than affects you elsewhere in life
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Well, clammy hands most definitely affect other areas of my life. As kage mentioned, it could ruin a good business deal…and if I get a girlfriend, a nervous situation where my hands would most likely be clammiest, how could I explain the reason why I won’t hold her hand? I’d think a guy with sweaty hands would probably be a turnoff…
I’ve lived with extra sweaty hands my entire life - in school, I’d have to keep a folder piece of paper under my hand to protect the paper I was writing on from getting wet with sweat - so, I know where you are coming from!
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I guess it makes me feel a little better to know that I’m not alone here, since I don’t really know anyone else who has that kind of problem at all. I usually feel that if I didn’t have the problem, I could be a lot more confident in a lot of areas in my life so far.

Also, thanks for the great suggestions, and keep them coming! I’ve tried some of the tips, such as putting the talcum stuff on my hands, but it usually lasts only 20 or 30 minutes.
 
I have noticed a nod and smile towards people works well. If you don’t extend your hand, but instead nod and smile, people get the message.
 
So jrabs,

what kind of message would a smile and a nod imply?

Peace and all good,

Thomas2
 
ZENIT, the Vatican News Agency in Rome, has a couple of items that may be helpful.

Go to the main page,

zenit.org/english/

and click on Liturgy on the list to the left.

There’s an article on the list that comes up on holding hands at the Lord’s Prayer. and one on the exchange of the peace (the title refers to the priest leaving the sanctuary, but it is more general).

Sorry, there appear to be no direct links.

Blessings,

Gerry
 
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misericordie:
I agree!!! Who’s idea was it that we MUST shake hands IN MASS???
I love the Tridentine Latin Indult Mass because the so called" Peace handskake" or the HOLDING HANDS during the Pater Noster, is NOT THERE!!!:clapping:
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i don’t think you have to shake hand, the priest always says, give a sign of peace! But the most common peace sign at mass is shaking other’s hands. so it could be a kiss i guess or something else… that part never got me embarrased when except for when my bro’s and sister started talking loudly when my cousin’s yanked(i don’t think he actually did that) his hand during peace(:ehh: )
anyway…
:blessyou:
Podo The Hobbit
 
So what is reverance? …a little bit of yeast that may help the loafing loaf to rise in time?..hmmmm…

Thomas2
 
I always have had sweaty hands. I do not like holding hands during the our Father so directly after that is done I wipe my hands on my skirt inconspicusly. But mostly I am embarrased becaue my hands are ugly, not because they are sweaty
 
I don’t have a problem shaking hands, but if one prefers not to (and there could be many reasons for this), simply put your hands out of reach, turn, and smile broadly and wish those around you, “peace.” Your smile will tell them that you are not being mean by withholding your hand. A friend of mine places his hands in his pockets. Since I usually have my hands folded during most of Mass anyway, simply keeping them folded in front of you makes them not available for shaking. Again, merely, smile and nod your head and wish those around you, peace.

As for holding hands during the Our Father, please don’t get me started . . . . 😦
 
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