(embarrassed)

[monroesler86]

for all i know, i’m writing this in the wrong forum, but whatever. i joined some other Catholic forum and asked my question, but nobody’s answered me, so here i am…

my problem is that i have this crush on a priest. i talked to my shrink about it last week, but he didn’t say anything, so i guess i’ll mention it again this week (or this next week, whatever). it’s really … making me feel bad. i want to be Catholic, i’m in the RCIA class, and yet here i am, thinking that some priest is hot. is there anything that i should do about this???

 

[hasikelee]

for all i know, i’m writing this in the wrong forum, but whatever. i joined some other Catholic forum and asked my question, but nobody’s answered me, so here i am…

my problem is that i have this crush on a priest. i talked to my shrink about it last week, but he didn’t say anything, so i guess i’ll mention it again this week (or this next week, whatever). it’s really … making me feel bad. i want to be Catholic, i’m in the RCIA class, and yet here i am, thinking that some priest is hot. is there anything that i should do about this???

Why should you feel bad about it at all? For example, there are probably many people who have felt attraction or crushed on a married person.

Feelings of attraction are in themselves not sinful or bad. He might be a pretty good looking guy!

Questions to ask yourself:

1. Are you in direct and frequent contact with this priest?
2. Are crushes and attraction normal/frequent for you?
3. Are you taking steps to safeguard his vocation, such as making sure you’re not best friends, making sure you don’t get close, etc

 

[mommyof4]

for all i know, i’m writing this in the wrong forum, but whatever. i joined some other Catholic forum and asked my question, but nobody’s answered me, so here i am…

my problem is that i have this crush on a priest. i talked to my shrink about it last week, but he didn’t say anything, so i guess i’ll mention it again this week (or this next week, whatever). it’s really … making me feel bad. i want to be Catholic, i’m in the RCIA class, and yet here i am, thinking that some priest is hot. is there anything that i should do about this???

I’m sure you’re not the first person to have this experience. Just form a little “distance” from him, and don’t worry too much about it.

 

[monroesler86]

Why should you feel bad about it at all? For example, there are probably many people who have felt attraction or crushed on a married person.

Feelings of attraction are in themselves not sinful or bad. He might be a pretty good looking guy!

Questions to ask yourself:

1. Are you in direct and frequent contact with this priest?
2. Are crushes and attraction normal/frequent for you?
3. Are you taking steps to safeguard his vocation, such as making sure you’re not best friends, making sure you don’t get close, etc

1. He is more or less control of 1/3 of the parish. My parish has three churches … probably because the Diocese of Little Rock has no bishop. But, yeah, no, he is a completely different church.
2. Actually, yes, unfortunately.
3. I emailed him a week or so ago, thanking him for asking after my schooling and therapy, but that’s pretty much it. I know I pretty much can’t do anything, but just having a this crush makes me feel awful.

 

[monroesler86]

I’m sure you’re not the first person to have this experience. Just form a little “distance” from him, and don’t worry too much about it.

(-.-), If distance is, like, two towns away, I’m good. I worry about everything, and my anxiety level shoots up high depending on what;s going on at every little moment.

 

[mommyof4]

(-.-), If distance is, like, two towns away, I’m good. I worry about everything, and my anxiety level shoots up high depending on what;s going on at every little moment.

I’m sorry. I’m a bit of an anxious person myself, too, so I think I understand a little bit. You’re in my prayers tonight.

 

[monroesler86]

I’m sorry. I’m a bit of an anxious person myself, too, so I think I understand a little bit. You’re in my prayers tonight.

It’s okay, I just have a lot of other stressors, and I’m trying to deal with them one by one, but it’s not going so well. Thanks for praying.

 

[mommyof4]

It’s okay, I just have a lot of other stressors, and I’m trying to deal with them one by one, but it’s not going so well. Thanks for praying.

If you have a lot of other stressors, then deal with them if possible. Sometimes we simple can not control every single thought and emotion that enters into our head. Something like a crush, it’s hard to control, 'cause we just can’t turn our emotions on and off like a light switch. Like I said, keep a little distance, and focus on the things that you can control, and give over to the Lord the things that are more difficult to control.

 

[ack]

Don’t feel bad about this. A crush is just a feeling; it isn’t anything that you control. Having a crush on a priest doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person.

Just don’t try to become this priest’s “friend”, and then everything will turn out okay.

for all i know, i’m writing this in the wrong forum, but whatever. i joined some other Catholic forum and asked my question, but nobody’s answered me, so here i am…

my problem is that i have this crush on a priest. i talked to my shrink about it last week, but he didn’t say anything, so i guess i’ll mention it again this week (or this next week, whatever). it’s really … making me feel bad. i want to be Catholic, i’m in the RCIA class, and yet here i am, thinking that some priest is hot. is there anything that i should do about this???

 

[Liberanosamalo]

Welcome to the Catholic Church. Some of our best and brightest and most attractive seek to serve God. And they are men usually of good character, pleasing personality, who love God and are compassionate to their fellow man. What is not to love? You are seeing the reflection of Christ in them and that is always attractive. Don’t feel guilty about that.

Just view them as you would a married man. They are off limits. And a priest who would leave his vocation or betray his vows isn’t so attractive after all. Don’t email him or try to encourage a personal relationship. It puts him in the position of having to keep his distance and not be as friendly as he might be. They know that single females are to be avoided so as not to cause scandal and tongues wagging.

Just remember he belongs to God. And figure your attraction to him is because of his goodness. Look for that same goodness in men who are eligible and you’ll do fine.

 

[monroesler86]

Thank you all for replying! I went back to the other forum, and still I had no replies, but … whatever, lol, I guess I have more understanding people here.

So, in general, what I am understanding is that I should just keep my distance from him and just not act on anything and that maybe after some time passes things will be okay. I will try this, and hopefully this works. . I have a feeling that it will, seeing as how I have so many crushes. I just felt like I needed advice on this one, seeing as how it’s a priest.

So, I will try to remember to update this thread soon, incase you end up wondering how things are or something.

 

[nova147]

So, in general, what I am understanding is that I should just keep my distance from him and just not act on anything and that maybe after some time passes things will be okay. I will try this, and hopefully this works. .

Remember also to pray about this. Prayer often helps us control our errant desires. Learning now to control your crushes (no matter who the object of desire is) will protect your heart in your future vocation.

MJ

 

[Lovemyfaith]

To be honest, this happens a lot. There are probably 1,000,000 reasons for it, from the priest having authority to a sense of gratitude toward the service he gives to his people. Priests are instructed about it in the seminary. So don’t beat yourself up for this, but recognize that you have the sense of mind to know it is wrong, because a lot of women don’t.
If there is any danger of your acting on the feelings you have, try thinking about the consequences of what could happen. Maybe you will be able to see that what you think of as romantic love is actually a different type of love for a person who has given so much for so many.

 

[HOPEFUL_IN_UK]

Whenever I have a crush on someone that I shouldn’t (before I was married, this was any married man. Now, it’s any man other than my husband) I just keep my distance from him.

Sometimes, we have “crushes” on people that we simply admire very much. I am completely heterosexual, but I’ve felt a strong non-sensual attraction towards women a couple of times - because I admired them and enjoyed being around them. I realized that if she had been male, I would have interpreted my feelings as romantic and channeled my reaction accordingly. There was never any sexual tension - I just liked her, wanted to be around her, and sometimes felt anxious that she reciprocated my feelings. It was a very weird feeling.

The reason I mention this is that you may be having a similar issue: your priest may be a wonderful person who is attractive for pure reasons - as well as being “hot” - and it’s only natural that we respond to that. But, you recognize that this is inappropriate. You can’t be buddies with a priest, due to your being a woman and the potential for scandal. The thing to do is just keep distance from him. Don’t spend time alone with him, don’t open up too much emotionally with him, and if you find yourself feeling funny butterflies while talking to him, nicely excuse yourself and be on your way.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

And no fantasizing. That would be especially sinful, because he is an ordained person. And for instructional purposes, an affair with an unmarried person is fornication. An affair with a priest is a sacrilege, because of his holy orders status. So it would be worse.

 

[Joya]

Welcome to the Catholic Church. Some of our best and brightest and most attractive seek to serve God. And they are men usually of good character, pleasing personality, who love God and are compassionate to their fellow man. What is not to love? You are seeing the reflection of Christ in them and that is always attractive. Don’t feel guilty about that.

Just view them as you would a married man. They are off limits. And a priest who would leave his vocation or betray his vows isn’t so attractive after all. Don’t email him or try to encourage a personal relationship. It puts him in the position of having to keep his distance and not be as friendly as he might be. They know that single females are to be avoided so as not to cause scandal and tongues wagging.

Just remember he belongs to God. And figure your attraction to him is because of his goodness. Look for that same goodness in men who are eligible and you’ll do fine.

Great post! You explained things beautifully!

 

[kage_ar]

Good advice from others here.

Welcome to the Church, fellow Arkansan

 

[StratusRose]

Hmm…sounds like a Father What-a-waste! Just kidding.

Crushes are harmless, for me, they went away after I got to know the person better and directed thoughts on other things. I had a crush on one of my husband’s friends (never told either one of course) but now I am over it.

 

[catholic79]

You are not the only person to ever have a Crush on a Priest.

I had a crush on a Priest in High School - he looked just like Superman! and he had a Motorcycle! My friend and I figured out the rotation schedule of the Priests at our parish and attendance from High School Girls at his masses increased greatly as we shared the schedule with our friends.

 

[exiled]

I’ve had a crush on a priest, and it did go away in time. I realize now that the reasons were just as everyone here has said, he was a good and holy man. He was/is at least 10-15 years older, and really I probably was thinking more father figure, because it certainly wasn’t dating or sexual in nature.
It’s hard not be in awe of a great man( if you’re a woman) or woman (if you’re a man).