Embarrassing mass stories?

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Crocus said:
Shortly before updating our sound system years ago, we found we were picking up a signal from a neighboring christian assembly.

The timing (after Communion) of the surprisingly loud, and very animated preaching, led to a prompt blessing, dismissal and final hymn.
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Same thing happened to us years ago when the Presbyterian Church down the street got a new sound system. Just after Father had finished his homily in the 10:00 Mass, our church was filled with the sound of the massive pipe organ down the street cranking up the opening hymn for their 10:30 service. Some adjustments were made and by the next Sunday, were on different frequencies.
 
Anne1964 said:
At the Easter Vigil Mass a few years ago I was sitting in the second row with a nice married couple I know. We were all holding our vigil candles while Msgr. baptized the catechumens

My friend leaned forward to get a better look and I heard a “Whump!” I looked over and she had accidentally set her hair on fire with her candle. The president of the Altar Guild was in the pew in front of us and she instinctively reached back and began to slap the side of my friend’s head to put out the fire.

My friend’s husband was oblivious to all of this as he was also watching the Baptisms. And Msgr., who hadn’t noticed a thing, continued with the Baptisms.

If you have never smelled burning hair, it stinks! The ushers had to open all the doors of the church and I spent the better part of Mass removing strands of singed hair from my friend’s head.

We still laugh about that incident.
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Hmmmm…I’m envisioning the first Pentecost here…did the tongues of fire singe the hair of those in the upper room? 🤔
 
We have had some nice smooth jazz saxophone come over our PA system. It happens every now and then.
 
I was in a church choir as a teenager with around ten other folks who were all elderly. The church I grew up in was one of those post modern designs with no choir loft. The choir was placed on a small graduated platform with pews in the front left of the church. During the consecration one Sunday one of the dear old souls in the choir with me broke some serious wind, which was picked up aptly by the microphone and relayed throughout the church. The person (thankfully) remained blissfully unaware this had happened. It is very hard to try and block such a thing our of one’s mind when it’s echoing through the church and others in the congregation have obviously noticed. Worse when you are in full view of the entire congregation.
 
We’ve had a few occasions of local taxi communications. Hasn’t happened recently.
 
I went to Sat.evening mass and was wearing a pair of woven leather clogs. At one point during the mass while kneeling, my shoe felt loose. Since clogs can slide off, I didn’t pay much attention to it. When we stood up, it completely fell off. I looked down, and the whole top of the clog had come away from the sole. Communion was approaching and I was panicking. I just took the other shoe off and went forward to receive in my socks. I had to text my husband, who was working, and he had to bring me another pair of shoes.🤣
 
joannejml said:
I went to Sat.evening mass and was wearing a pair of woven leather clogs. At one point during the mass while kneeling, my shoe felt loose. Since clogs can slide off, I didn’t pay much attention to it. When we stood up, it completely fell off. I looked down, and the whole top of the clog had come away from the sole. Communion was approaching and I was panicking. I just took the other shoe off and went forward to receive in my socks. I had to text my husband, who was working, and he had to bring me another pair of shoes.🤣
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Not to worry, we have a reader from another culture who removes his shoes to go to the sanctuary to read.
 
When I was a very young boy I remember fainting in the pew. I think it was a hot day and I was just extremely bored-plus the pews were probably fuller-and the church stuffier w/no a.c.- in those days. 😀
 
Thanks! I couldn’t believe it, but it definitely wasn’t stopping me from going to communion, lol.
 
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I have two, one embarrassing and one adorable.

When I was an alter boy I had issues whenever there was incense. The priest at my parish at the time was a big fan of incense, especially around the holidays. One Christmas Eve mass, I’m in charge of holding the incensor, and I’m holding it during the consecration, and I just about get/sick / pass out because if it. Apparently, according to my parents, it was super obvious XD.

My adorable story is actually from yesterday. My son isn’t old enough for communion yet, but he walks up with me every Sunday and gets a blessing. Yesterday we’re the last people to go up, we get back to our pew just as the music stops and the priest was putting up the remaining hosts, my wife picks up our son. It is utterly silent, and he belts out at the top of his lungs “I did it, I did it!” It could not have been more perfectly timed if we’d tried. It took everything we had not to burst out laughing, because the entire church heard it. XD Fortunately, we have a child-heavy parish, and everyone around us found it adorable and hilarious. ^^
 
Back in the days of monthly Catholic school Masses, some kid would faint or be about to faint at just about every one of them. The elementary school Masses were at 7:30 am, the church was stuffy and hot especially if you had walked there in all your winter gear, and many kids didn’t get up early enough to eat breakfast. One time I was the kid who almost fainted. The teachers would pull you out of the pew and make you sit in the vestibule with your head between your knees. After that my mother would wake me up super early on Mass days and make me eat hot chocolate and toast to make sure I ate before the one hour fasting time started.

In high school we sometimes had these huge school Masses where the whole school would be standing in the gym for like 2 hours, and of course students fainted there too. One time the girl in front of me just pitched forward onto her face.

Of course when you are an adult going to the morning Mass with lots of seniors, there’s always the potential for someone to collapse and die at the Mass, which happened recently at a nearby parish.
 
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Not really embarrassing but just humorous: the time the doors of the church were left open on a hot day and a stray dog came into church during the homily, trotted down the center aisle of the church to the sanctuary, went up several steps, laid down in front of the altar and started to lick himself before an usher removed him.
 
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Tis_Bearself said:
Back in the days of monthly Catholic school Masses, some kid would faint or be about to faint at just about every one of them. The elementary school Masses were at 7:30 am, the church was stuffy and hot especially if you had walked there in all your winter gear, and many kids didn’t get up early enough to eat breakfast. One time I was the kid who almost fainted. The teachers would pull you out of the pew and make you sit in the vestibule with your head between your knees. After that my mother would wake me up super early on Mass days and make me eat hot chocolate and toast to make sure I ate before the one hour fasting time started.

In high school we sometimes had these huge school Masses where the whole school would be standing in the gym for like 2 hours, and of course students fainted there too. One time the girl in front of me just pitched forward onto her face.

Of course when you are an adult going to the morning Mass with lots of seniors, there’s always the potential for someone to collapse and die at the Mass, which happened recently at a nearby parish.
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We had one kid in our school whose Dr. prescribed staying home from Mass. I think for this kid it was about the crowd. He’d pass out every time. We all envied that doctor’s order. For a while I thought about trying that to see if it would get me out of Mass too, but I was too scared of what my parents would do if they discovered I was faking it.
 
I actually didn’t mind going to Mass with all my friends, or at least the fairly sizable number who bothered to show up. The Sign of Peace is fun when you’re 9 years old and generally like your classmates. I didn’t like its being that early in the morning though. Made for a long day.
 
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I’m a tad older than you 😉. We all went. No sign of peace back in those days. No dialogue Mass either where I lived.
 
I was breastfeeding my newborn and my toddler yanked the blanket away that I was using to cover up because she was jealous that I was using her blanket. I don’t think anyone saw anything but it was still nerve wracking!
 
I was an altar server from shortly after First Communion pretty much through high school. Not sure why, because I was a TERRIBLE server.

Anyway, one day I was serving by myself for some reason, and not paying much attention. When it was time for the priest to wash his hands he gave me that look - you know the one where you know you are supposed to be doing something. So I dart over to the holy water decanter and rush over to pour it on his hands - except I had grabbed the wine. So the priest got to wash his hands in wine that day. He never let me live it down. My mother (in her 90s now) still tells that story all the time.
 
joannejml said:
I went to Sat.evening mass and was wearing a pair of woven leather clogs. At one point during the mass while kneeling, my shoe felt loose. Since clogs can slide off, I didn’t pay much attention to it. When we stood up, it completely fell off. I looked down, and the whole top of the clog had come away from the sole. Communion was approaching and I was panicking. I just took the other shoe off and went forward to receive in my socks. I had to text my husband, who was working, and he had to bring me another pair of shoes.🤣
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Thank goodness you were wearing socks.
 
Within a week of buying my Miata, I’d ground a hole through the floor mat with my heel from shifting gears (I’m more than a bit tall for such a car . . .)

So I took to driving with my shoes/boots off (due to circumstances, I occasionally wore eastern dress shoes at the time).

SO one day I got to church and . . . found myself serving and processing in socks!
 
On Holy Thursday of 2015 I was altar serving and was given this wooden clapper thing called a crotalus to use during the consecration (in lieu of the Sanctus bells.) I was given neither training on how to use it nor time to practice with it beforehand. So the big moment arrives. Father genuflects. I violently swing the crotalus: •clap• •clap•. Father elevates the Host: •clap• … … … “OW!” Father genuflects again but this time as I swing it no sound is made. Turns out in my zeal I had swung it so hard the first time that the flat piece of wood which the wooden hammer strikes and makes the clapping sound had split down the middle resulting in the hammer becoming disconnected. The second time I swung it the hammer went flying in the air unbeknownst to me and hit a fellow server behind me.
 
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