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yaya67

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Hello! I have run into a problem at our parish. It has come to my attention via social networking that an Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist at our parish is actively living a gay lifestyle, and publicly promoting marriage equality, acceptance of gay marriage in the church, etc. He is doing so with pictures and banners on his page, right next to posts where he makes jokes about him being a Eucharistic Minister, and how he is going to stand up there as an EME and “judge” his other friend (who posted that she went and saw 50 Shade of Grey). This is all so foolish, I know.

My husband met with our pastor to bring it to his attention. To be clear, the problem here is that he is actively and publicly dissenting with church teaching, not the fact that he struggles with same-sex attraction, since we can’t really know what is in his heart. People that publicly disagree with church teaching should not be in a position of leadership, especially when it comes to the Blessed Sacrament.

The pastor said he understood our concern, that he wasn’t sure how he was going to handle it, but to give him a few weeks to solve the issue. This was several months ago.

The gentleman was serving Holy Communion on Sunday. My heart literally broke, not only because of the disrespect to Our Lord, but because our Pastor, who promised to solve the issue, has effectively done nothing. This event, coupled with the fact that the retired priest who helps out with the 8 Masses at our church, celebrated Mass in the most irreverent way possible, and demeaned mothers (on Mother’s day) with several debasing jokes, made me want to turn around and never look back at the parish that we have belonged to and tithed to for 6 years.

My question is: what is our next step? I turn to an internet forum because going to my pastor has failed. I know we need to follow up with him, but what should we say? That we’re leaving the parish and will be sending a letter to the bishop? I think we have ruled out staying and trying to fix the problem. My husband has historically been opposed to “parish-shopping” because he thinks you need to be the change you want to see at the parish level. However, this is not the first time we’ve run into a problem like this at this parish (particularly regarding actively gay people acting in roles of leadership) and we are concerned about the effect that the environment will have on our young children.

Any insight that you can provide us as to what our moral obligation is here would be appreciated.
 
yaya67 said:
Hello! I have run into a problem at our parish. It has come to my attention via social networking that an Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist at our parish is actively living a gay lifestyle, and publicly promoting marriage equality, acceptance of gay marriage in the church, etc. He is doing so with pictures and banners on his page, right next to posts where he makes jokes about him being a Eucharistic Minister, and how he is going to stand up there as an EME and “judge” his other friend (who posted that she went and saw 50 Shade of Grey). This is all so foolish, I know.

My husband met with our pastor to bring it to his attention. To be clear, the problem here is that he is actively and publicly dissenting with church teaching, not the fact that he struggles with same-sex attraction, since we can’t really know what is in his heart. People that publicly disagree with church teaching should not be in a position of leadership, especially when it comes to the Blessed Sacrament.

The pastor said he understood our concern, that he wasn’t sure how he was going to handle it, but to give him a few weeks to solve the issue. This was several months ago.

The gentleman was serving Holy Communion on Sunday. My heart literally broke, not only because of the disrespect to Our Lord, but because our Pastor, who promised to solve the issue, has effectively done nothing. This event, coupled with the fact that the retired priest who helps out with the 8 Masses at our church, celebrated Mass in the most irreverent way possible, and demeaned mothers (on Mother’s day) with several debasing jokes, made me want to turn around and never look back at the parish that we have belonged to and tithed to for 6 years.

My question is: what is our next step? I turn to an internet forum because going to my pastor has failed. I know we need to follow up with him, but what should we say? That we’re leaving the parish and will be sending a letter to the bishop? I think we have ruled out staying and trying to fix the problem. My husband has historically been opposed to “parish-shopping” because he thinks you need to be the change you want to see at the parish level. However, this is not the first time we’ve run into a problem like this at this parish (particularly regarding actively gay people acting in roles of leadership) and we are concerned about the effect that the environment will have on our young children.

Any insight that you can provide us as to what our moral obligation is here would be appreciated.
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Yikes. Well, the best advice I can offer is to pray about it and notify the Bishop. That’s pretty much all you can do. Maybe find another parish in the mean time?

I’ll keep your parish in my prayers.
 
roflfalafel said:
Yikes. Well, the best advice I can offer is to pray about it and notify the Bishop. That’s pretty much all you can do. Maybe find another parish in the mean time?

I’ll keep your parish in my prayers.
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Iagree with rolf… this is a circumstance that invites scandal, not just to the Church itself, but especially with Jesus, in his perfect and immaculate Presence. I think I would feel exactly like you, and it would be too difficult to attend Mass with that kind of negative distraction.
Perhaps discuss it one more time with the Pastor, with the understanding that it is in your moral conscience to go forward with this to the Bishop.
Prayed for you… and your pastor and the man in question.
Lord, save us, and open our eyes.
 
I think that you already know what to do. You should talk to the pastor again about the situation with the EMHC and also talk to him about the inappropriate language from the other priest. I can understand that these are very difficult issues for him to deal with. He may especially be reluctant to reprimand the older priest. The public dissenter is a real cause of scandal and confusion and should be dealt with. If the pastor does nothing you should write the bishop. Leave out the threats to leave the parish. That would be inappropriate on your part.
 
Talk to your pastor again and ask him why nothing has happened with this situation. Listen to what he has to say. If the man has lied to your pastor about some promise that he will stop the offending public attacks on the Church, then tell him so. If your pastor has simply sat on his hands rather than being told by the bishop to do nothing, then tell him that you’re going to have to notify the head of the office of liturgy for the diocese.

The Facebook posts are incompatible with continuing in his current capacity, because this man both openly attacks the Church and flaunts his position of service in a way that is profoundly disrespectful.
 
PaulfromIowa said:
I think that you already know what to do. You should talk to the pastor again about the situation with the EMHC and also talk to him about the inappropriate language from the other priest. I can understand that these are very difficult issues for him to deal with. He may especially be reluctant to reprimand the older priest. The public dissenter is a real cause of scandal and confusion and should be dealt with. If the pastor does nothing you should write the bishop. Leave out the threats to leave the parish. That would be inappropriate on your part.
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But we are definitely planning to leave the parish. I didn’t mean to say that we would ‘threaten’ but rather just inform him that we are leaving. Do you think that is inappropriate?
 
I will pray for you, your husband, and your parish. It seems this will only continue to fester if no one talks about it. Even if you decide to leave the parish; talking to your priest could give you some closure on the matter. Your church community will continue to endure this behavior and that is sad to me. I can’t imagine that others don’t know about this. Maybe others have mentioned the same thing to your priest and this will spawn some action. God Bless You! I know God will be there for you and guide you in the right direction.
 
yaya67 said:
But we are definitely planning to leave the parish. I didn’t mean to say that we would ‘threaten’ but rather just inform him that we are leaving. Do you think that is inappropriate?
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I would frame it, to the pastor and bishop, in terms of your responsibility to your children to give them proper teaching.
 
I agree that EHMC’s should be an example of the faith.

We had one that was divorced and living with his girlfriend. Somehow, he eventually moved out and started the annullment process.
So, by informing the pastor may help in many ways.

For your situation, perhaps the pastor needs proof. I would bring a screen shot of the scandalous postings to him in private.
 
Don’t just leave the parish without saying anything. Go to the pastor and talk to him (charitably) once more, and definitely contact the Bishop.

Also, is it possible for you to talk directly to the EMC that you speak of?
 
EnglishTeacher said:
Don’t just leave the parish without saying anything. Go to the pastor and talk to him (charitably) once more, and definitely contact the Bishop.

Also, is it possible for you to talk directly to the EMC that you speak of?
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I was part of a parish while sponsoring an RCIA candidate and that particular parish seemed to march to the beat of it’s own drum. The sister who ran the RCIA program was also running programs promoting that alternative lifestyle and during on RCIA session she proclaimed, “The RCC has not approved gay marriage-yet!” She herself was open in the lifestyle and it seemed to me that there may have been a concerted effort on this person’s part to change the church from within versus outside influence. I recorded this session and wrote a lengthy letter to the Bishop and was contacted by him and told there was nothing they could do-ever though this parish was actively permitting this person to promote their agenda. This sister was careful not to teach anything contrary but made it known that in her world SSM and female ordination would be permitted. This parish also baptized the children of SS partners allowing both partners to present the child as a couple.

Being told that the Bishop was refusing to do anything was disheartening. I did confront the sister directly and was told that I was bitter and angry. Luckily after Easter Vigil we left that parish and I have discouraged others from attending this parish. Sadly, this was a glimpse of what it would be like if the church could somehow change her teachings. This I can assure you would not be good for the church and this stance seemed to water down the FaIth of parishioners. I got the sense that people joined this parish to make a person statement.

All we can do is pray and educate others about what is happening in parishes Iike these. I will pray that the OP’s family finds a welcoming holy parish home. Never let anyone separate you from Jesus and the sacraments.

Blessings .
 
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