EMHC Anxiety

[Chickamauga]

I haven’t even been a full-fledged Catholic for a year yet, but I find myself serving as an EMHC at mass as well as a sacristan. I wouldn’t be doing either of these jobs if I had not been asked, but now I feel I have made a great mistake by saying yes.

I don’t have time to go into full details, but I’m in a constant state of anxiety at mass now. It is an anxiety that is following me home and to my regular job and I can’t have that. It seems like the added stress of being an EMHC and sacristan has robbed me of everything I used to get out of the mass. Something always seems to go wrong at mass… not enough hosts available, etc. etc. I now dread going mass, or at least I dread going to mass at my regular parish. On Sundays I haven’t been on the schedule for EMHC duty, I’ve gone to another parish for mass with a tremendous sense of relief.

Going through this I am now of the opinion that a neophyte Catholic should not be doing this kind of work so soon after converting. I’m going to call the deacon in charge of the EMHCs today and express my concerns and perhaps ask to resign as sacristan and EMHC, but before I do I’d like to hear someone else’s thoughts. Anyone else ever feel this way?

 

[cargopilot]

In our Diocese, those desiring to be EMHC’s must have been active members for at least three years to be considered for this ministry, in addition to other minimum requirements.

At any rate, here you are as Sacristan and EMHC. For many, it’s a great joy and for others, a source of dread. If you feel such dread, by all means, quit. You shouldn’t feel compelled to perform such a ministry under duress. I can only imagine the stress you must be going through, especially when you just barely know the basics of the Mass. Don’t feel like you have to bail on your parish for fear of being asked to perform this ministry.

Sometimes, the hardest thing to do is to say no. I admire your guts to do what you have done, considering your new Catholic status. Whatever you do, no one can take the knowlege you have gained by performing those valuable ministries.

On the other hand, you could consider this a way to pick up your own cross, and continue with your service. Offer your suffering up to God, so to speak. Pray for the strength to go on. You WILL get it. One thing’s for sure, as you gain confidence, those sufferings will go away. You WILL become confident, and it will all become second nature.

Whatever decision you make, welcome to the one, true Church.

 

[catcher5]

Does your parish really need EMHC? If not, then don’t worry about it, just quit. Is there some reason the priest can’t handle communion by himself?

 

[awalt]

I would recommend discussing your concerns and desires with the appropriate Deacon. You are ok to feel as you do, there is nothing wrong with that. You are trying to discern the proper path for you. Just talk openly about how you feel, and the right thing will happen.

I always try to remember something our Pastor said to me once, when I was having a bad day of self-worthlessness and inability to stand up to that which I thought Christ may be asking me to do - he said “God always chooses the weakest of us to do His work, so don’t feel alone or different then the rest of us.”

 

[Chickamauga]

catcher5:

Does your parish really need EMHC? If not, then don’t worry about it, just quit. Is there some reason the priest can’t handle communion by himself?

We have the largest congregation in the county, but very few EMHCs… don’t ask me why. It is a reasonably orthodox church, no liturgical abuses I’ve seen (no dancing or anything), but it has a kind of good ol’ boy mentality with families who have been members for literally hundreds of years. Why not enough veterans don’t step up to the plate and pitch in is beyond me.

I serve at the 7:00 AM Mass which always has the fewest number of EMHCs. One of the things that bothers me is that I’ve opened the safe and looked in the ciborium from the previouis night’s vigil mass and found it improperly cleaned with crumbs of the Sacred Body still inside. I’ve told the deacon about this and he’s aware of the oversite. Another problem is that I don’t know which priest is going to be at the 7:00 AM mass. It could be the pastor or the senior priest in residence and the two of them are like day and night. Last minute changes and instructors sometimes given right at the alter during the mass is another source of frustration for me.

I feel bad about wanting to bail, but I don’t see as I have much of a choice. I can deal with the weekly stress at work, but this additional worry is going to put me under if I’m not careful.

 

[Joe_Sarto]

Chickamauga:

I wouldn’t be doing either of these jobs if I had not been asked, but now I feel I have made a great mistake by saying yes.

You have. Let the priest do the job he was ordained to do. Lay people have no business at the altar.

 

[AltarMan]

Chickamauga:

I haven’t even been a full-fledged Catholic for a year yet, but I find myself serving as an EMHC at mass as well as a sacristan. I wouldn’t be doing either of these jobs if I had not been asked, but now I feel I have made a great mistake by saying yes.

I don’t have time to go into full details, but I’m in a constant state of anxiety at mass now. It is an anxiety that is following me home and to my regular job and I can’t have that. It seems like the added stress of being an EMHC and sacristan has robbed me of everything I used to get out of the mass. Something always seems to go wrong at mass… not enough hosts available, etc. etc. I now dread going mass, or at least I dread going to mass at my regular parish. On Sundays I haven’t been on the schedule for EMHC duty, I’ve gone to another parish for mass with a tremendous sense of relief.

Going through this I am now of the opinion that a neophyte Catholic should not be doing this kind of work so soon after converting. I’m going to call the deacon in charge of the EMHCs today and express my concerns and perhaps ask to resign as sacristan and EMHC, but before I do I’d like to hear someone else’s thoughts. Anyone else ever feel this way?

First, things will become less draining on you as you gain more experiences in your responsibilities.

That said unless someone in charge makes the effort to systematically solve the existing problems, I would stand-down until they did. In fact, I might stand-down for a while anyway if I was in your case just to catch my breath while I learned what was really going on at Mass. Many of the problems you mention can be solved with the correct training and documented procedures.

It’s been my experience that perhaps 80-90% of all EMsHC are people that seek attention and status and they use the Church to feed their needs. That’s why problems exist – people are worried about themselves rather than the Sacrifice of Jesus on the Altar.

You are commended for helping out, but don’t let things remain as they are, else you are likely headed for a spritual (and perhaps mental) melt-down.

 

[Michael038]

Chickamauga:

I haven’t even been a full-fledged Catholic for a year yet, but I find myself serving as an EMHC at mass as well as a sacristan. I wouldn’t be doing either of these jobs if I had not been asked, but now I feel I have made a great mistake by saying yes.

I don’t have time to go into full details, but I’m in a constant state of anxiety at mass now. It is an anxiety that is following me home and to my regular job and I can’t have that. It seems like the added stress of being an EMHC and sacristan has robbed me of everything I used to get out of the mass. Something always seems to go wrong at mass… not enough hosts available, etc. etc. I now dread going mass, or at least I dread going to mass at my regular parish. On Sundays I haven’t been on the schedule for EMHC duty, I’ve gone to another parish for mass with a tremendous sense of relief.

Going through this I am now of the opinion that a neophyte Catholic should not be doing this kind of work so soon after converting. I’m going to call the deacon in charge of the EMHCs today and express my concerns and perhaps ask to resign as sacristan and EMHC, but before I do I’d like to hear someone else’s thoughts. Anyone else ever feel this way?

I think it’s too soon for you to be doing this. Our Parish requires 3 years as a member minimum. Also, you should not be scheduled for every Mass. Only about once a month is usually the norm.

 

[plato3]

Chickamauga:

I haven’t even been a full-fledged Catholic for a year yet, but I find myself serving as an EMHC at mass as well as a sacristan. I wouldn’t be doing either of these jobs if I had not been asked, but now I feel I have made a great mistake by saying yes.

I don’t have time to go into full details, but I’m in a constant state of anxiety at mass now. It is an anxiety that is following me home and to my regular job and I can’t have that. It seems like the added stress of being an EMHC and sacristan has robbed me of everything I used to get out of the mass. Something always seems to go wrong at mass… not enough hosts available, etc. etc. I now dread going mass, or at least I dread going to mass at my regular parish. On Sundays I haven’t been on the schedule for EMHC duty, I’ve gone to another parish for mass with a tremendous sense of relief.

Going through this I am now of the opinion that a neophyte Catholic should not be doing this kind of work so soon after converting. I’m going to call the deacon in charge of the EMHCs today and express my concerns and perhaps ask to resign as sacristan and EMHC, but before I do I’d like to hear someone else’s thoughts. Anyone else ever feel this way?

It is very difficult to get good faithful help in a parish. Maybe you could ask for just one Sunday a month. I am sure even that would be a great help to your parish. Recent converts are usually filled with the Spirit and are attractive candidates for helping around the church. The graces that you receive in the vineyard of the Lord are priceless.

Deacon Tony

 

[Petergee]

AltarMan:

It’s been my experience that perhaps 80-90% of all EMsHC are people that seek attention and status and they use the Church to feed their needs. That’s why problems exist – people are worried about themselves rather than the Sacrifice of Jesus on the Altar.

I keep reading this assertion here, but am still waiting for the slightest skerrick of evidence to justify this uncharitable vilification of the motives of the great majority of EMHCs. Every EMHC I know was reluctant to take up the role as they felt unworthy, but did so after repeated written invitations and a personal request by the parish priest.

 

[m134e5]

If you’re feeling bad about it, stop for awhile. I personally could never be an EMHC. Besides the fact that I, as a layman, would feel too uncomfortable touching the host with my hand, I would find it very difficult to pray after receiving communion if I was distributing the Sacrament to others for a long time after I had received.

 

[John_Higgins]

m134e5:

I would find it very difficult to pray after receiving communion if I was distributing the Sacrament to others for a long time after I had received.

Our pastor reflected that our distribution of the Body or Blood of Christ is a prayer in itself.

I do agree if the assignment is causing anxiety, then maybe a break is in order.

As far as AltarMan’s comments are concerned, I have found that 75-80% of those who throw unverified statistics around don’t know what they’re talking about.

John

 

[AltarMan]

Petergee:

I keep reading this assertion here, but am still waiting for the slightest skerrick of evidence to justify this uncharitable vilification of the motives of the great majority of EMHCs. Every EMHC I know was reluctant to take up the role as they felt unworthy, but did so after repeated written invitations and a personal request by the parish priest.

That’s just wonderful. My sample of perhaps 30 parishes must be deeply skewed. The percentage of people who become EMsHC as a means to gain status and to “be seen” is well over 90% in my own parish. The sad thing is they never leave once they start – after all they would miss the chit-chat sessions in the sacristy prior to Mass.

You must just be extremely fortunate to worship in a parish/diocese that’s just different from my own experiences. Good for you.

 

[Petergee]

AltarMan:

That’s just wonderful. My sample of perhaps 30 parishes must be deeply skewed. The percentage of people who become EMsHC as a means to gain status and to “be seen” is well over 90% in my own parish.

And you know this - HOW, exactly?? Did they tell you this is why they do it? Or do you deduce it from the fact that they talk in the sacristy?

 

[Dorothy]

Chickamauga:

I haven’t even been a full-fledged Catholic for a year yet, but I find myself serving as an EMHC at mass as well as a sacristan. I wouldn’t be doing either of these jobs if I had not been asked, but now I feel I have made a great mistake by saying yes.

I don’t have time to go into full details, but I’m in a constant state of anxiety at mass now. It is an anxiety that is following me home and to my regular job and I can’t have that. It seems like the added stress of being an EMHC and sacristan has robbed me of everything I used to get out of the mass. Something always seems to go wrong at mass… not enough hosts available, etc. etc. I now dread going mass, or at least I dread going to mass at my regular parish. On Sundays I haven’t been on the schedule for EMHC duty, I’ve gone to another parish for mass with a tremendous sense of relief.

Going through this I am now of the opinion that a neophyte Catholic should not be doing this kind of work so soon after converting. I’m going to call the deacon in charge of the EMHCs today and express my concerns and perhaps ask to resign as sacristan and EMHC, but before I do I’d like to hear someone else’s thoughts. Anyone else ever feel this way?

I agree with you that a new Catholic should not have all that responsibility so soon. You should discuss this with your priest, explaining exactly how you feel, and tell him you wish to bow out for now.

Perhaps at some later time you will feel called to a specific ministry and then will feel comfortable about it.

 

[AltarMan]

Petergee:

And you know this - HOW, exactly?? Did they tell you this is why they do it? Or do you deduce it from the fact that they talk in the sacristy?

I KNOW said people.

 

[Marian_Carroll]

**General Reminder:

This discussion is straying from the thread subject. Please return to the original topic under discussion. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation
**

 

[Vatican_II]

Chickamauga:

I haven’t even been a full-fledged Catholic for a year yet, but I find myself serving as an EMHC at mass as well as a sacristan. I wouldn’t be doing either of these jobs if I had not been asked, but now I feel I have made a great mistake by saying yes.

I have been an EMHC for going on 14 years serving in two dioceses and four parishes. The first time I was asked to serve by the pastor, while the remaining three parishes I asked if I could be of any use, regardless of capacity. Many times I have been anxious or nervous in the performance of the ministry. I can very much appreciate the uncertainty in the matter of having different celebrants at mass. You haven’t had such "fun? until you are called to serve with the bishop celebrating.

I remember what my pastor said at the time. “Remember, even if you make a mistake, if you remain calm and walk delebrately nobody in the congregation will know you did anything wrong.” Many of your anxieties come about as to the newness of your faith and your desire to do everything exactly right. Don’t think of your newness as a handicap or weakness. You have arrived at the Catholic Church because of study, thought and desire. Many cradle Catholics have long forgotten their faith and attend the mass as a matter of routine. If you feel inadequate it is because you are, as I am, as your pastor is, the bishop and our Holy Father Pope Benedict XVI. We are all called to positions for which we are not worthy and for which we suffer human inadequacies.

One piece of advice I can give you is that you can only do your job, do not worry about the priest’s. Things happen, just remain calm and the disturbance if any will be minimized.

If you run out of hosts, simply tell the next receipent to wait while you go to the nearest EMHC or priest to ask for additional hosts. Remember if you are nearing the end of the hosts and the line is relatively short you can break the hosts in half or quarters.

As far as the improperly cleansed ciborium, this would be the failure of the ordinary minister, priest or deacon, as the new GIRM does not allow extraordinary ministers to perform such acts as the three year indult has expired.

In the end you must make the decision to remain or leave the ministry. I would ask you to pray and meditate on your decision.

May God Guide and Bless You

Vatican II

 

[marty1818]

Chickamauga,
I know how you feel. I am a sacristan at a university Newman Center. Being a sacristan I fill in for all sorts of other ministries. This includes lectoring, serving, ushering, and EMHC’ing. It can affect how you worship and your spiritual life. Eventually you get used to serving in this role, however, if you feel you are not ready for this then do not feel obligated to continue on with it. The priest will understand. Your spiritual life is the most important thing here.

God Bless,
Matt

 

[Chickamauga]

After having talked to the Deacon I will continue as an EMHC.
But I am not an EMHC because I wanted attention or status. Far from it. If I had the chance to go back to just being a face in the crowd I would. But I was asked to do it primarily because the priest and the deacon both noticed my particular devotion to the Eucharist. That’s what I get for showing up at every exposition of the Blessed Sacrement. I will not be stuck doing it every single Sunday… every other Sunday for the time being. Yeah, I’m new, but nobody “old” seems to be willing to step up to the plate, unfortunately.