Emotional Need for God

[Sinner1]

So much of what is written by the saints, as well as what is in the scriptures, seems to me to be based on a strong emotional need for God. The world is a scary place and many people need assurance that a benevolent father figure is watching the whole thing, guiding every move, and directing the individual to an eternity of bliss. When bad things happen, many people feel the need to explain it as some master and divine plan.

I’m not saying that necessarily means that religion or the belief in God is wrong; I’m just saying that often times people cling to God because they need that explanation.

One of the reasons that many people, myself included, struggle with faith is because that emotional need for God just isn’t there. The concept of God isn’t particularly comforting to me. Rather, much of it’s often quite terrifying. The thought that an all-seeing God watches me and judges me upon death is actually an unpleasant thought to me.

I see believers often claim that atheists cannot be at peace in this life. I disagree, not only does this seem a presumptuous and gnostic statement, but because atheists usually just don’t have this emotional need for God. They are able to face the world without needing to invoke a divine explanation for events beyond their comprehension. In fact, atheists wonder how Christians can truly be at peace when they believe that they will be judged and possibly thrown into hell for all eternity.

So my question for all you Catholics out there who believe in God, but don’t have a strong emotional need for him, don’t feel compelled to pray, don’t get excited over the thought of God as your father or Jesus as your buddy, or can’t stomach the mushy writings of many of the saints: how do you do it? How do you deepen your faith if you would be just as happy, if not happier, knowing that God doesn’t exist?

 

[T700]

So my question for all you Catholics out there who believe in God, but don’t have a strong emotional need for him, don’t feel compelled to pray, don’t get excited over the thought of God as your father or Jesus as your buddy, or can’t stomach the mushy writings of many of the saints: how do you do it? How do you deepen your faith if you would be just as happy, if not happier, knowing that God doesn’t exist?

People are different and react in diverse manner to other people, writings, and concepts. I think I tend to be a bit like what I sense you to be–somewhat detached and logical.

For me, I concentrate less on the ecstatic writings of the “mushy” saints and more on the thick, chewy, tomes by Augustine and the like. Doesn’t make me a better or worse Christian than someone who swoons at the mention of Sister Faustina; just means we are wired differently.

In the final analysis it doesn’t really matter how we *feel *about God, any more than it matters how we feel about a missing bridge over the river. If we fail to understand the reality and gravity of both circumstances, we do so at our own peril. At times, we just need to make an intellectual decision to do what is right.

Paul

 

[Sinner1]

People are different and react in diverse manner to other people, writings, and concepts. I think I tend to be a bit like what I sense you to be–somewhat detached and logical.

For me, I concentrate less on the ecstatic writings of the “mushy” saints and more on the thick, chewy, tomes by Augustine and the like. Doesn’t make me a better or worse Christian than someone who swoons at the mention of Sister Faustina; just means we are wired differently.

In the final analysis it doesn’t really matter how we *feel *about God, any more than it matters how we feel about a missing bridge over the river. If we fail to understand the reality and gravity of both circumstances, we do so at our own peril. At times, we just need to make an intellectual decision to do what is right.

Paul

When I come to the river, I will look and say “Wow, I really need a bridge or I won’t be able to get across.” But I am able to live without saying to myself, “Wow, I really need God to exist to make it through life.”

 

[T700]

When I come to the river, I will look and say “Wow, I really need a bridge or I won’t be able to get across.” But I am able to live without saying to myself, “Wow, I really need God to exist to make it through life.”

I didn’t make my analogy clear. The danger is that we ignore the bridge we know to be missing and plunge into the river and perish. Similarly, even if we feel like we can navigate this life without divine assistance, if we are a Christian, we know that the same cannot be said for the afterlife, regardless of our feelings.

I may have misread your posting. Are you a Christian who is struggling with feeling no need for God or are you a non Christian who questions the need for the divine?

Paul

 

[Sinner1]

I didn’t make my analogy clear. The danger is that we ignore the bridge we know to be missing and plunge into the river and perish. Similarly, even if we feel like we can navigate this life without divine assistance, if we are a Christian, we know that the same cannot be said for the afterlife, regardless of our feelings.

Well, only if we know that the bridge is missing.

I may have misread your posting. Are you a Christian who is struggling with feeling no need for God or are you a non Christian who questions the need for the divine?

I am a Christian, but I would quite honestly be happier as an atheist. I am just too afraid of the possibility of rotting in hell for eternity.

 

[yellowbicycle]

I’m so with you on this.
Knowing that there is a God provides me no comfort, no solace.
I’m all the MORE terrified because I know He’s real, I know what Jesus spoke is truth, and I continue to disobey that truth. Often. No one knows where they will end up when they die, but I have this terrible feeling I’ll be getting there in a handbasket. Most of the time, actually, I’m pretty annoyed with God (see what I mean about that handbasket?)
Seriously, I slept better as an atheist than I ever have as a Catholic. I don’t recommend this Catholic thing, really. The tricky part is, once you see the world through the ‘Catholic lens’ as they call it, once you ONE TINY piece of the puzzle fits into place, ALL of it fits into place, and, well, in my case at least, I found myself feeding the poor instead of sleeping in on Saturday. I found myself trying to love my neighbor, even though he’s a tool. I found myself going to Church even when it was rainy and cold and I needed to do laundry. And let me assure you, I am not happy about any little bit of it.
But it’s like this to me. It’s like thinking I had a hundred dollars in my pocket. that’s a great feeling, right? Thinking you’ve just got a hundred dollars that you can blow at Taco Bell, or Macy’s, or on whatever. And then you find out it’s two dollars. Two measly dollars. As much as you might WANT to go back to thinking it’s a hundred, as GREAT as it was to think it was a hundred, once you know differently, you just can’t convince yourself again that it’s a hundred.
And there are a great many days when I lack mushy sweet feelings towards my husband. That’s okay. It doesn’t mean I don’t love him, or that our marriage bond isn’t there. Feelings are fleeting. I don’t trust them as far as I can throw them. Feelings are what make me think I’ll look good in stretch pants and Ugg boots.
I would say read Mere Christianity, if you haven’t already. I found it lacking in that mushy nonsense. Faustina, and I’ll probably get flamed for this, I find incredibly annoying. Ugh. She’s the type of friend who when she comes knocking I would turn out the lights and pretend I wasn’t home. Seriously. And that Theresa of Avila. Don’t get me started.
Francis and Thomas More on the other hand…I like Francis because he was a complete wacko, and still incredibly brilliant. I gravitate towards crazy. Can’t help it. They’re fun at parties. And More I also found to be more, uh, meaty.
But I will say that the writings of PJP II…they’re not mushy per se, but they are sweet, and those have always struck a chord with me, too.

 

[T700]

Well, only if we know that the bridge is missing.

I am a Christian, but I would quite honestly be happier as an atheist. I am just too afraid of the possibility of rotting in hell for eternity.

So, humor me and let me tell you about airplanes. (Can you tell I’m a big fan of stories and analogy’s?)

Years ago when I was getting my private pilot’s license, I was up for my second or third solo flight. After about 45 minutes, I was ready to return to my home base and land. Suddenly, I realized I was unsure of the course back. My hands started sweating, my heart raced, and I despaired of getting down safely. My mind was an absolute blank.

After a few minutes, I said to myself, “Others, much brighter than me, have done this. They wrote down how to navigate and how to handle the situation. If they could do it, why not me?” Taking some deep breaths, I reversed my compass course, tuned in the VOR, and flew a path back home. All the way, I was talking out loud to myself, “Others have done this and and so can you.”

My only suggestion to you is, “Others have felt the same way and they made it; so can you.” Faith is just that–believing even when we don’t feel it. I didn’t think I could make it back safely, but I didn’t panic and I succeeded. You must not spiritually panic. Odds are, you will feel differently about God in one, two, five, or ten years.

Sorry that I don’t have a better answer. You might want to talk to a priest that you respect and see if he has more insight.

Paul

 

[Sinner1]

I’m so with you on this.
Knowing that there is a God provides me no comfort, no solace.
I’m all the MORE terrified because I know He’s real, I know what Jesus spoke is truth, and I continue to disobey that truth. Often. No one knows where they will end up when they die, but I have this terrible feeling I’ll be getting there in a handbasket. Most of the time, actually, I’m pretty annoyed with God (see what I mean about that handbasket?)
Seriously, I slept better as an atheist than I ever have as a Catholic. I don’t recommend this Catholic thing, really. The tricky part is, once you see the world through the ‘Catholic lens’ as they call it, once you ONE TINY piece of the puzzle fits into place, ALL of it fits into place, and, well, in my case at least, I found myself feeding the poor instead of sleeping in on Saturday. I found myself trying to love my neighbor, even though he’s a tool. I found myself going to Church even when it was rainy and cold and I needed to do laundry. And let me assure you, I am not happy about any little bit of it.
But it’s like this to me. It’s like thinking I had a hundred dollars in my pocket. that’s a great feeling, right? Thinking you’ve just got a hundred dollars that you can blow at Taco Bell, or Macy’s, or on whatever. And then you find out it’s two dollars. Two measly dollars. As much as you might WANT to go back to thinking it’s a hundred, as GREAT as it was to think it was a hundred, once you know differently, you just can’t convince yourself again that it’s a hundred.
And there are a great many days when I lack mushy sweet feelings towards my husband. That’s okay. It doesn’t mean I don’t love him, or that our marriage bond isn’t there. Feelings are fleeting. I don’t trust them as far as I can throw them. Feelings are what make me think I’ll look good in stretch pants and Ugg boots.
I would say read Mere Christianity, if you haven’t already. I found it lacking in that mushy nonsense. Faustina, and I’ll probably get flamed for this, I find incredibly annoying. Ugh. She’s the type of friend who when she comes knocking I would turn out the lights and pretend I wasn’t home. Seriously. And that Theresa of Avila. Don’t get me started.
Francis and Thomas More on the other hand…I like Francis because he was a complete wacko, and still incredibly brilliant. I gravitate towards crazy. Can’t help it. They’re fun at parties. And More I also found to be more, uh, meaty.
But I will say that the writings of PJP II…they’re not mushy per se, but they are sweet, and those have always struck a chord with me, too.

Yeah, I hear you. For many people, faith in God is natural because that’s what they strongly desire and the very thought of God makes them happy. Not everybody has this same desire.

Mere Christianity was a good book, and I have found some other good theological writings. The thing is, though, when I read books like that, I find myself thinking “Huh, that’s an interesting thought.” It doesn’t lead me to have a desire to get on my knees and worship God.

I also like St. Francis a lot, but I like him because he dedicated himself to helping others, the same way I admire people like Mother Theresa. Even if St. Francis was an atheist, I would still admire him.

 

[Sinner1]

So, humor me and let me tell you about airplanes. (Can you tell I’m a big fan of stories and analogy’s?)

Years ago when I was getting my private pilot’s license, I was up for my second or third solo flight. After about 45 minutes, I was ready to return to my home base and land. Suddenly, I realized I was unsure of the course back. My hands started sweating, my heart raced, and I despaired of getting down safely. My mind was an absolute blank.

After a few minutes, I said to myself, “Others, much brighter than me, have done this. They wrote down how to navigate and how to handle the situation. If they could do it, why not me?” Taking some deep breaths, I reversed my compass course, tuned in the VOR, and flew a path back home. All the way, I was talking out loud to myself, “Others have done this and and so can you.”

I can only imagine that feeling. I started learning how to fly a Piper Cherokee, but I never made it to flying solo. Probably a good thing.

My only suggestion to you is, “Others have felt the same way and they made it; so can you.” Faith is just that–believing even when we don’t feel it. I didn’t think I could make it back safely, but I didn’t panic and I succeeded. You must not spiritually panic. Odds are, you will feel differently about God in one, two, five, or ten years.

No, I not panicking. I’ve often tried to gain faith because it’s what I was supposed to do, but I never really wanted or needed it. It’s always been a chore.

Sorry that I don’t have a better answer. You might want to talk to a priest that you respect and see if he has more insight.

Yeah, I’ve tried talking with a few priests, but they usually end up telling me stories about how God has fulfilled other people’s lives and they are now radiating with love for God. I just don’t have that emotional need. I’d be happier knowing that God wasn’t actually there.

 

[Symux]

One of the reasons that many people, myself included, struggle with faith is because that emotional need for God just isn’t there.

You are quite right, and Jesus addresses this when he says,

Mat 19:24 And again I say to you, It is simpler for a camel to go through a needle’s eye, than for a man with much money to go into the kingdom of God.

A person without any needs has no reason to look to God for assistance. They begin to rely on themselves. The majority of us have food every night, shelter, and clothing. Anything beyond that is excess and we have it in abundance. What have we to pray for, when we have everything we want? Pray that the light turns green so we aren’t late for work?

Blessed are the poor for so many reasons. When you have the cash to buy anything you want, then little bonuses are taken for granted as " luck ". Those living in poverty struggle to put food on their table, and if they find $5, it is a huge reward. Something they are very thankful for, and recognize that it was given to them by God. Emotions tie in with need, and if you have need of nothing … then it is very hard to recognize a need for God.

If you are struggling with this currently, I highly recommend changing your focus about God. Give your life to God and look for opportunities to do his work. By seeking to be of service, you’ll find yourself being emotionally drawn closer to him.

 

[clmowry]

I believe God has placed a “God shaped hole” in each of us. We can try to fill it with other things. But we will never feel complete until we let Him fill it Himslef.

We might fool ourselves into thinking we’ve filled it with other things. But eventually we realize that nothing else fits.

Chuck

 

[Sinner1]

You are quite right, and Jesus addresses this when he says,

A person without any needs has no reason to look to God for assistance. They begin to rely on themselves. The majority of us have food every night, shelter, and clothing. Anything beyond that is excess and we have it in abundance. What have we to pray for, when we have everything we want? Pray that the light turns green so we aren’t late for work?

Blessed are the poor for so many reasons. When you have the cash to buy anything you want, then little bonuses are taken for granted as " luck ". Those living in poverty struggle to put food on their table, and if they find $5, it is a huge reward. Something they are very thankful for, and recognize that it was given to them by God. Emotions tie in with need, and if you have need of nothing … then it is very hard to recognize a need for God.

If you are struggling with this currently, I highly recommend changing your focus about God. Give your life to God and look for opportunities to do his work. By seeking to be of service, you’ll find yourself being emotionally drawn closer to him.

While I have more financial stability than most in the world, I am far from having everything I want. I don’t want to get into my personal life, but there are things that money can’t buy. My life is far from what I’d like it to be, but I just don’t have that emotional need to be told that everything happens for a reason and that my misfortunes are part of a beautiful master plan for my own benefit. I’m okay with accepting the fact that there’s no divine reason why some things in my life just aren’t what I’d like them to be.

 

[Sinner1]

I believe God has placed a “God shaped hole” in each of us. We can try to fill it with other things. But we will never feel complete until we let Him fill it Himslef.

We might fool ourselves into thinking we’ve filled it with other things. But eventually we realize that nothing else fits.

Chuck

Possibly you’re right. I may be fooling myself.

But at the same time, there are many Christians that become atheists because God just isn’t filling that hole in their hearts.

 

[RubyT]

In the final analysis it doesn’t really matter how we *feel *about God, any more than it matters how we feel about a missing bridge over the river. If we fail to understand the reality and gravity of both circumstances, we do so at our own peril. At times, we just need to make an intellectual decision to do what is right.

Paul

Well said Paul.

In my words, albeit not as articulate as yours, I say:

First off, I don’t feel that my relationship and beliefs are predisposed by an emotional need but rather a fundamental truth that God exist. I believe that whether I need God or not, He exist and thus I must heed the truth about His existence.

So, given that God exist I must as a human have fear or rather reverence of Him.Thus, the emotional need is actually formulated after I get to know God. Once I got to know God I understood that the last thing He would want is for me to go to hell, this eliminates the scary fear and creates humble reverence.

We cannot change the way God has set up the universe. Keep in mind God Is Love and full of loving kindness and mercy. This takes away my fear to some extent. God allows us to fear Him to help us follow a righteous path, and of course following a righteous path keeps us out of hell.

So then, get to know God first. Get to know His mercy and love and then you won’t worry about going hell as it will be much less likely to happen. An emotional need for God is not a bad thing but rather stems from a love of God.

Reverse the process of obtaining an emotional need for God through fear. Instead, gain knowledge of His love and then the emotional need through reverence will follow.

Good question, I hope this helps explain my position.

Kind regards, Rubyt

 

[Dark_Warrior]

I like the meaty saints with awesome progressive (you might say) writings like jerome, agustine, athanasius, etc. and also the emotional ones like Faustina and Francis.

as for me, I’m an emotional wreck when it comes to God. I need him, can’t live without Him, like a spouse in a way.

Sometimes thinking about Him and just how awesome He is, and WHAT He is sends me into a frantic frenzy state of collapsing to the ground in worship to Him.

 

[Sinner1]

Well said Paul.

In my words, albeit not as articulate as yours, I say:

First off, I don’t feel that my relationship and beliefs are predisposed by an emotional need but rather a fundamental truth that God exist. I believe that whether I need God or not, He exist and thus I must heed the truth about His existence.

So, given that God exist I must as a human have fear or rather reverence of Him.Thus, the emotional need is actually formulated after I get to know God. Once I got to know God I understood that the last thing He would want is for me to go to hell, this eliminates the scary fear and creates humble reverence.

We cannot change the way God has set up the universe. Keep in mind God Is Love and full of loving kindness and mercy. This takes away my fear to some extent. God allows us to fear Him to help us follow a righteous path, and of course following a righteous path keeps us out of hell.

So then, get to know God first. Get to know His mercy and love and then you won’t worry about going hell as it will be much less likely to happen. An emotional need for God is not a bad thing but rather stems from a love of God.

Reverse the process of obtaining an emotional need for God through fear. Instead, gain knowledge of His love and then the emotional need through reverence will follow.

Good question, I hope this helps explain my position.

Kind regards, Rubyt

If God exists, which he very well might, than he created a universe in which I can live my day to day life without feeling the need to invoke his name as an answer to my problems.

I know a lot of God, (from what others have told me), but I can’t say that I know God. I’ve tried to find him and build a relationship with him, because I’m told that’s what you’re supposed to do, but he always seems to be particular elusive to me. It’s hard to get to know somebody who doesn’t reveal themselves, especially when you don’t have any strong desire.

 

[Sinner1]

I like the meaty saints with awesome progressive (you might say) writings like jerome, agustine, athanasius, etc. and also the emotional ones like Faustina and Francis.

as for me, I’m an emotional wreck when it comes to God. I need him, can’t live without Him, like a spouse in a way.

Sometimes thinking about Him and just how awesome He is, and WHAT He is sends me into a frantic frenzy state of collapsing to the ground in worship to Him.

I’ve never had an experience like that. The only emotions I’ve really felt attached to the idea of God is guilt, shame, and fear.

 

[Dark_Warrior]

I’ve never had an experience like that. The only emotions I’ve really felt attached to the idea of God is guilt, shame, and fear.

Perhaps too many old fashioned strict “catholics” have badly influenced your feelings

I tend to think God is alot more merciful than many among the Church claim He is.

 

[Dameedna]

Well, only if we know that the bridge is missing.

I am a Christian, but I would quite honestly be happier as an atheist. I am just too afraid of the possibility of rotting in hell for eternity.

Why on earth do you think you’d be happier as an athiest? What is driving that?

<----- Athiest here(technically agnostic but it’s easer to use the label athiest for arguments sake)

Usually, when a person loses their faith completely and “becomes” an athiest, it is one of two things. So completely and utterly horrifying to them , they revert back to their religion and become fanatical. It can be very sad, but inevitable.

OR, it can be a HUGE relief. Some people, make a LOT of claims about their faith, but eventually they stop lying to themselves and realize they don’t really believe. All the “just pray and God will help”, “you aren’t listening enough”, “God will help you work through this” are actually meaningless to the athiest, as heartfelt as the advice might be given.

When you no longer believe you really, really, really don’t believe and it isn’t all the stuff that people claim(dishonesty, imoral behaviour, wanting to worship the devil, rejecting God etc etc).Athiests, don’t “really” choose athiesm, per-se, they reject what they have been taught for many, many reasons and athiesm is the label they are given.

No-one wants to wake up every day, and say “Woot, today is the day I could get hit by a bus and blink out of existance for eternity”, nor do they say “YAY, today I can go to work and do meaningless activity that no-one will remember in 5 minutes and no-one actually cares about”.

If the only reason you believe, is due to fear then you may just be one of those people that feel they can no longer lie to themselves and become athiests.

Is it really the fear of what God will do? Or is there an underlying fear, that he may not actually exist? The entire concept of hell just angers me in so many ways. If you have been taught to be afraid of punishment, then your behaviour is not self-determined and your will has been stripped of you. It’s wrong.

You won’t be happier as an athiest, by default. You WILL be happy, once you let go and be honest with what you believe and who you really are. I hope you figure it out

 

[Symux]

While I have more financial stability than most in the world, I am far from having everything I want. I don’t want to get into my personal life, but there are things that money can’t buy. My life is far from what I’d like it to be, but I just don’t have that emotional need to be told that everything happens for a reason and that my misfortunes are part of a beautiful master plan for my own benefit. I’m okay with accepting the fact that there’s no divine reason why some things in my life just aren’t what I’d like them to be.

I’ll be blunt with you. Life is what we perceive it to be. Always look for at least one good thing in every situation, and if you have to complain about someone … come up with at least one nice thing to say about them.)

That last was always the hardest of all, but when you are ***actively *** looking, then you will begin to perceive things much differently. It took me only a few weeks to notice a major change in my life, and all it needed was a decision on my part.

God is the same way. He loves you, and the Bible teaches us how he welcomes with loving arms those who love him, and how he condemns those who reject him. It has so much more to teach us, but by reading it you will be guided by the Holy Spirit and learn the lessons he wishes to teach you. By reflecting on his word, your mind is drawn closer to him. This emotional need you speak of is love. Imagine a very young child who has been at Day Care all day. When they see their parents coming for them, they jump all around and get really excited. This is how I feel about God. … Initial excitement, and then humiliation as he knows things I’ve done. … and then adoration when I realize that through Jesus he has forgiven me already.

Another thing that Greatly helped me was listening to Christian Radio. It really helped me to know and understand that I wasn’t alone. There are so many Christians out there, despite how few I see in my day to day activities. Just listening to the teachings, and hearing the joy in the voices of the people as they discuss them. Thoughts and ideas play in your mind, and things to reflect on. The more you allow God into your life, the greater the impact he will have on you. The more you will want.

If you would truly like to form a relationship with God, then read the Bible, and learn to love him. Don’t focus on hell. Turn your eyes to Jesus, because he’s got your back.